32. Sephen

Chapter 32

Sephen

S ephen was reading one of Reskin's books when someone knocked. He set his book down in his lap, then called out for them to enter.

Auslin entered, shutting the door behind him. "Hey, can we talk?"

"I don't know." Sephen tapped his chin as he pretended to think about it. "Is it more important than Reskin's book?"

"It's actually about Reskin," Auslin answered as he came over to sit on his brother's bed.

Sephen set aside his book, then sat up to face his brother. "Then I'm all ears."

"I was just talking with Bancho out in the garden. He told me something you need to know."

"Okay?" It confused Sephen why the elder mage wouldn't tell him directly.

"Please understand this was news to me as well," Auslin insisted. "I absolutely would have told you otherwise."

His older brother's troubled demeanor worried Sephen. "Now you're making me nervous."

"Bancho told me Reskin's real name."

Sephen was torn between pouting and being shocked. "He's known who Reskin is this whole time and never told me?" Sephen made an outraged noise. "That's so cruel!"

"The thing is, it wouldn't have mattered to you until now," Auslin said.

"How can you say that?" Sephen exclaimed. "What could matter to me more than finding out who my idol is?"

"I meant more like you wouldn't have known who he was until now."

"You lost me. What do you mean?"

Auslin took a deep breath before continuing. "Kisano is Reskin."

Sephen rapidly blinked as he tried to process what his brother had told him. His mind raced over the three simple words. "Are you seriously saying that Kisano is Reskin?"

"Please understand I never knew until he told me just now," Auslin said.

Sephen made a distressed sound as it felt like the walls were closing in on him. "Auslin, you can't be serious! Tell me you're lying!"

"I wish I was." Auslin sighed. "Otherwise, I never would have said half the stuff I did about Reskin to Kisano when we spent time together in his library."

"Great!" Sephen sarcastically groaned. "Now I can never see him again!" He threw himself back on the bed, burying his face in his pillow with another pained noise.

Auslin reached over to rub Sephen's back to help soothe him. "I'm sure Kisano had his reasons for not telling us."

"I probably made him feel too embarrassed because of how much I gushed about Reskin," Sephen mumbled into his pillow.

"For what it's worth, I definitely did. But luckily for us, Kisano is the nicest person ever and?—"

"Auslin, do you know the things that I've said to him about Reskin?" Sephen interrupted his brother to ask in anguish. "How can I ever face him again knowing that he's really Reskin? I'm too humiliated!"

"I can't imagine any author who wouldn't be happy to hear their work touched the lives of people like Reskin has ours."

Sephen rolled onto his back, then slung his arm over his eyes. "No wonder I fell for Kisano so fast. He literally is my dream guy."

"For what it's worth, I'm pretty sure he feels the same way about you," Auslin said.

"No, he's so polite that he couldn't tell me to quit harassing him with my weird obsession," Sephen argued. "It's impossible he likes me the same way. He's Reskin . What use does he have for a puny human who is nothing but the blink of an eye in the grand scheme of his eternal life?"

"I don't think that's true. I can tell he really likes you."

Sephen pouted. "You're only saying that to make me feel better."

"No, I mean it," Auslin insisted.

"Why would he like me?" Sephen asked in a pained voice. "I'm so disgustingly human. I can't even use magic."

"Kisano has taken a lot of abuse for not having a dragon or the ability to use magic like a normal shifter," Auslin explained. "I can't imagine him of all people rejecting you for being human."

Sephen wanted to believe him, but he was too upset. "It was already improbable for us to be together before, but now it's impossible." He fought back the tears welling up in his eyes. "Auslin, what am I supposed to do?"

"Talk to him."

"I can't," Sephen automatically refused. He moved his arm to wipe away his tears. "To get rejected by Kisano and Reskin at the same time is too much to bear. My heart won't survive it."

Auslin shook his head. "I truly don't think he would reject you." Sephen wanted to trust in his older brother's sincerity, but his claims were too unbelievable. "I know he likes you."

"But it's not the same kind of like. He's being kind and humoring me because he's too nice to tell me to leave. Why am I so stupid to fall for someone I can never have?"

"Please talk to him," Auslin pleaded. "I'm sure it'll be awkward, but you'll both feel so much better afterwards."

"No, I can never see him again," Sephen insisted, even though it broke his heart.

Auslin sighed at Sephen's theatrics. "If you suddenly quit talking to Kisano, it will hurt him more than anything you could say."

Before Sephen could respond, a knock on the door interrupted them. An acolyte called out, "Sephen, there's a guest here to see you."

"A guest?" Sephen asked in confusion. "Who would possibly come visit me?"

"Prince Kisano Ariake," the acolyte answered.

Sephen made another distressed sound. He sat up and looked at Auslin in a panic. "No, no, no, no! I can't see him right now or ever again."

"It's obviously a sign that the two of you need to talk," Auslin told his brother.

"I can't ," Sephen refused in despair.

Sephen thought his heart would stop when Auslin answered on his behalf. "Please send him in."

"Auslin, no!" Sephen angrily exclaimed in betrayal.

"You can't run away from him or from your feelings." Auslin stood up to leave.

Sephen had just enough time to hide the Reskin book under his pillow before there was a gentle knock on his door. He glared at his older brother for putting him in the situation before calling out in a shaky voice, "Please come in."

Kisano hesitantly entered the room. He wore simple black breeches and a white shirt but still looked like the most handsome person Sephen had ever seen before. He shut the door behind him, then bowed his head. "Please forgive me for arriving unannounced."

When Sephen was still too tongue-tied to speak, Auslin gestured for Kisano to come farther into the room. "It's never a problem for you to come visit us here. You're always welcome."

Kisano's gaze strayed to Sephen. "That is very kind of you to say."

"I was actually on my way out, so I'll see you soon, Kisano."

"I shall look forward to it," Kisano replied before Auslin left them alone.

Sephen's heart was in his throat. He hadn't stopped reeling from the shocking revelation Kisano and Reskin were the same person. There were so many things that Sephen wanted to say, but he couldn't speak.

Kisano awkwardly lingered near the bed. "If I should not have come, I can leave if it is a problem."

Sephen struggled to get the right words out but couldn't get his mouth to cooperate. When Kisano turned to leave, Sephen reacted on instinct to capture the shifter's wrist to stop him. A shock electrified Sephen's whole body. He released Kisano as if he had been burned. "I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have done something so improper."

"I do not mind it," Kisano reassured him with a kind smile.

"Please sit." He gestured for Kisano to join him on his bed since he didn't have anywhere else to sit other than the floor.

Kisano settled down next to Sephen, looking at the human with concern. "Are you well?" He reached a hand to Sephen's pink cheeks. "You are flushed."

Why was it every time Kisano touched him, Sephen felt like he would explode into a million butterflies? "I…" Sephen's words failed him again as he shyly looked at Kisano. He mustered up all his courage to have the conversation he knew they needed to have. "Why didn't you tell me you're Reskin?"

Kisano's eyes went wide in surprise. "How did you know?"

"Bancho just told Auslin, who told me right before you came in," Sephen answered. His heart hammered from being so close to Kisano. Could the shifter hear it?

Kisano hung his head in shame. "I did not mean to deceive you. But when I realized how important Reskin was to you, I was afraid to ruin your opinion of him."

"Ruin my opinion of him?" Sephen repeated in shock. "What are you talking about?"

"I selfishly enjoyed indulging in your intelligent analysis of my works. Knowing my words meant so much to you deeply touched my heart," Kisano confessed. "You hold so much affection and respect for Reskin. I did not wish to disappoint you with the reality that I was him."

" Disappointed ? Why would I be disappointed to find out someone as incredible as you actually is the most amazing person ever?"

Kisano's amber eyes grew wide. "I do not understand."

"It's not fair you get to be so smart and gorgeous," Sephen lamented. How was a mere human ever supposed to compare?

Kisano genuinely looked confused. "But I am not?—"

The last thing Sephen wanted to hear was Kisano speak badly about himself. "Not only are you the most beautiful person I've ever seen in my life, but you're so intelligent I can't even comprehend the vastness of your mind." Belatedly realizing what he said, Sephen blushed in embarrassment. "I know I'm not supposed to say stuff like that to someone of your rank, but it's the truth."

"I fear you have severely overestimated my qualities," Kisano protested. "I am simply a shifter who has spent centuries living his isolated life in a library. There is nothing remarkable about me beyond that."

" Simply ? Nothing remarkable about you? You can't possibly be serious!"

"I am a social outcast, blessed with a very understanding brother and sister who humor my idiosyncrasies," Kisano continued in a quiet voice. "Your view of Reskin is clearly coloring your opinion of me."

"No!" Sephen reached out to force Kisano to meet his gaze. "I thought that before I knew you were Reskin. I've been in awe of you since the moment we met."

Kisano looked down in shame. "But I have done nothing?—"

Sephen got caught up in his rush of feelings. "You have haunted my thoughts every waking moment since I met you. I keep trying to talk myself out of what I feel for you because I know it's not allowed since I'm a normal human, but?—"

It was Kisano's turn to interject. "Nothing of the sort. A normal human would never even consider looking in my direction, let alone think any of those things that you said."

"Then maybe I'm not normal because I never want to look away from you, Kisano."