11

I arrived home to Jamie waiting for me and holding up his phone with a picture of Colton and me at dinner. I swallowed loudly and took in his demeanor.

"He was having dinner with a former lingerie model who started her own company and you got all dressed up and went to crash it," he said calmly. "Do I have that right? And then stayed looking that beautiful for him forgetting we had dinner plans and were going to hang out."

I winced. "I actually went to beat him for having a date after all he professed Sunday and making me feel a fool. But then it was business, and she wants to do a collaboration." I hurried to show him her business card as if that would help.

He sighed and nodded. "Next time, a text, right? I deserve better than being stood up and feeling second to Colton who you're not with."

I winced again, moving over to him, glad when he didn't step away. I cupped his cheek. "You do. I'm sorry. Honestly, it was my jealousy, and I would have felt the same if I'd seen you walking into a hotel with a gorgeous woman. I've never really been jealous before. I thought… I was going to leave, but then—I didn't even know she was a lingerie model, just the owner."

He turned and kissed my hand. "I know you're going through too much, but this poured salt in my own issues of always being second pick in my family, Arabella. You had plans with me, not you just went chasing after him. I'm going to sleep in my bed tonight."

"I'm so sorry," I whispered. "You're not second to me. You're not, Jamie. Things are just more volatile with him and crazy."

He growled and moved me against the wall. "I make you crazy too, but I don't fucking hurt you. That should count for more."

"It does," I panted, shocked I was turned on at the aggressive move.

So was he, his eyes slowly going wide.

"I'm not scared of you," I said with a shrug. "You would never hurt me." I ran my fingers through his hair. "You're my adorable golden retriever lover who treats me better than I deserve and I will make sure always feels a priority."

He nodded. "He's coming over here to talk, right?" He chuckled when I couldn't hide my shock. "I've known Cole all my life. He would jump on the chance you got jealous."

I winced yet again. "He thought I went to talk with the restaurant owner and was jealous I dressed like that. He thinks I stumbled upon the date."

Jamie gave me a dry look. "Maybe in that moment because your beauty melts the brains of men, but I promise on the drive over here that he will figure it out." He waited until I nodded. "He doesn't get to have fun in your bed. None of them do. I'm your boyfriend, and they've hurt you. That's for us until they aren't dipshits."

"That's fair. He's not getting—we're not getting back together."

The glance he shot me of "not yet" said a lot.

And I couldn't deny it.

He went to turn away, but I grabbed his arm. "The hot tub and everything was all cleaned and—"

"Don't do that," he said quietly. "Don't use our physical to…"

I flinched and let him go. "That wasn't what I was doing."

"Sorry. Please tell me."

It was harder for me now and I didn't want to, but Jamie was worth it. "I was thinking we could do like the bathtub, and I want to hear how the plans are going for your big opening. That's where my head was. We could order food—I'll make it appear. Relax. I wasn't…"

"Sorry," he whispered leaning in and kissing my cheek. "You're right. You don't do that. And yes, I would like that. That sounds nice."

"Okay, good."

He went to the door and locked it behind me before leaving the foyer. "You're also making me some amazing dinner after Easter and the opening and wearing something so pretty for me, and then I'm having you for dessert."

I blinked after him, practically fanning my face.

Okay then.

Since people knew I was staying at my house for the night and Si-Woo, Karmie, Irene, and Nan had their apartments right there, I wasn't worried. Plus, Nan and Carmen would be there working overnight anyways. For as many orders and sales as we did, we really didn't do much cash, especially now with how many used the order system and app.

So it wasn't like we had to take the deposit nightly to the bank. That was a relief, and Colton had hired a few of Demarcus's vampires to be night security for the shopping plaza since there were other stores now too.

Jamie wanted to try an Asian place near the house that had a bit of everything, so that was where we ordered from. I changed into something comfortable and decided to go over my recipe book and the new ideas I'd come up with from the sundaes inspiration to start working on the options for Mother's Day.

Costco was already asking, and I did like having things ready and announced ahead of time. No one liked things being so last minute.

The doorbell rang, and I thought it was a bit early for the food, which made me realize it was Colton and he knew not to go to the bakery but come here. I let out a slow breath and reminded myself that I had started this, and it wasn't that he was being pushy and overbearing.

For once.

I opened the door and simply stared at his handsome face, unsure of what to do or say even if I'd had all that time to think about it.

"Hi, my name is Colton Knight," he said after a moment. "I'm a warlock. I was raised in a crazy cult-like bullshit atmosphere that my mother tried her best to protect me from but my father threw me at to save himself. I was groomed from a young age to be the ultimate warlock to stand next to but really control a goddess for greedy elders and apparently a demigod.

"That part, I didn't fucking know and still fucks with my head. A lot. I should make it clear that it fucks with my head a lot. But even if I knew it was all crazy and bullshit, it's all I knew, and constantly worrying my family I loved would be hurt versus what they could do to me and trying to force me to have a child to be the next ultimate warlock did a lot of damage to me.

"I don't see things like most people. I can't yet because I'm still constantly in that state of panic and fear that if I don't stay three steps ahead, they'll kill my mother or drug me to force me on some woman to have a child. Because they started threatening that when I turned twenty-five and hadn't married some of their options for me. Women who weren't willing—just so we're clear on that—but they wanted their power in my child.

"So I don't know what the fuck I'm doing most days and just keep moving. I just tried my best to survive, but then I met this woman, and everything seemed to have hope. I thought we'd get to know each other and she'd figure it all out and beat their asses and end the insanity. I was right. She did exactly that, but I was so wrapped up in my crazy that I didn't understand.

"I didn't understand how much I would hurt her. I saw it all as bugs she would swat and a long history and past that had to hurt but—thousands of years isn't a concept people really grasp to live. But I also didn't have all of the facts or know about the curse or know how she relived what happened to her. I didn't know my ancestor started it all.

"And that sounds so crazy I couldn't wrap my mind around it and thought it would matter so much. It sounded like it couldn't possibly matter after all we'd shared. But that wasn't my decision to make, and I couldn't see or understand that because I was so underwater and constantly afraid of my own situation.

"To me, this woman was so much larger than life and could handle everything so easily that—none of it would matter more than those moments we connected. She would see that the curse never affected me. Even if I had to lie to her, my heart never did, and I cared for her so deeply that I risked everything to help her and be with her.

"But instead, I hurt her, and I don't know how to fix that. I still can't understand the damage and pain I've caused because I'm not her. I don't know how to fix it or what to do. I thought what I offered Saturday was the right move, but my mother beat my ass, and I heard her brothers that I was an idiot. So now I don't know what to do again."

"I don't know either," I whispered.

"But you were jealous when you thought I had a date with a former lingerie model, and that has to mean something," he whispered, putting it together as Jamie said he would have. "So maybe the answer is we can start over and now you know. We won't forget those moments or how I've messed up. I never meant to hurt you. You have to know that."

"I want to, but it seems so underhanded. All of it does," I admitted.

He nodded. "I can understand that. Then let's start over, Arabella." He moved closer but froze when I took a step back. "I won't put my hands on you. Please? Trust me?"

I swallowed loudly and nodded.

He moved closer and lowered his forehead to mine, keeping his hands at his side. Colton took in a long deep breath as if remembering my scent. "I know so much went wrong, I did so much wrong, but what we felt was real. I can't be human for you any more than you could be for me or a witch. Please, please give me a chance to show you that I'm worth it."

I swallowed loudly and said the seven truest words that I felt in my heart. "I still want you in my life."

"But?" he breathed, his breath warm on my face.

"I don't if I will ever forgive myself for giving you the chance to hurt me again," I rasped. "It's not fair, but I hate myself for what I let happen before. I can't repeat the same mistakes." I took a step back and let him see how torn I was. "You scare me. Fair or not, you scare me because you're his descendant. It's not thousands of years for me, Colton. It feels like yesterday sometimes."

"I get that now," he whispered. "I know we can work past that."

I quickly wiped the tears when they fell. "I don't know that I can in the time you have. If it's taken me this long to allow a man to touch me, and the first man was his descendant… I don't know your lifespan is enough for me to heal enough that it would be worth it for you."

"Please don't say that," he begged. "It's the time from when the curse was lifted and you could breathe and start healing, not the years since it happened."

Was that true? Maybe. I could give him that. I slowly nodded. "Maybe. Maybe that's true from the time I found the twins. Maybe since they opened up my heart again. If I had found them and the curse had been taken off… Maybe."

He let out a slow breath. "I think it's worth it. And we're not deciding forever right now."

"What are we deciding?" I asked, getting frustrated but mostly with myself. "To ‘hang out' again? I don't want to go back to you being pushy either and crashing dates and… I can't trust you like that."

"No, I know, and that—I need to work on my jealousy. You deserve better than I behaved," he promised. "Don't shut me out. Start over as friends, and I won't put my hands on you. I heard you and Cora that—I get it. That's what I'm asking for."

I frowned. "Just that?"

He blinked at me. "‘Just that?' Arabella, a month ago I thought you might break when you saw me or…" He trailed off when a car pulled up the drive.

"The food is here, and you both need to not have this conversation in the doorway," Jamie said gently from behind me. "Invite him in like you want to talk and you asked him here."

He was right and I nodded, stepping aside for Colton to come in. Jamie went to meet the driver and grabbed the bags of food. We all went inside, and I was shocked when he made it clear that Colton needed to sit across from me, not close and next to me.

And Colton was shocked as well.

"I agree with Cora that you shouldn't be alone with her," Jamie said as he set everything out. "Not yet. If she wants to try and have you in her life and you're willing to walk the path she needs, fine, but she has a visceral reaction to the idea of your hands on her. You've seen it. I've seen it."

"Yes, I didn't understand it—"

"You were an idiot, Cole. I immediately understood when I was caught up." He let out a slow breath and met his friend's gaze. "But you were an idiot who was drowning. I'm sorry I didn't know that either." He waited until Colton nodded. "You also have to accept you won't have another of her firsts. Not ever. They can be firsts with you, but—it's not healthy for her."

"I'm a bit shocked you're interjecting like this," I admitted as I made plates and everything we needed appear.

Jamie shrugged. "I care for you both and have an outside perspective, but I'm not an outsider to this. Plus, you said I got to be in charge since I'm not scary. I'm doing it for this too. Unless you tell me not to."

"I'm actually curious how you see it," Colton admitted which surprised me.

Jamie nodded and offered him a container before putting it in front of me. "I've done a lot of reading on traumas and how to help a lover who has been raped and endured sexual crimes. Some of what was suggested worked. I've talked about what I think could be next with Arabella. You and Isiah push. You get…"

"Needy," I muttered, focused on my sweet and sour pork. "Jamie told me not to mistreat him, and I knew I messed up, but not like I'm guilty. It was a mistake he rightfully called me on, but it was done. You and Isiah make me feel like I'm failing as a goddess and as a woman. It's probably not fair, but I feel too much pressure. And you wanted to be first, and he wanted to be right there with you—"

"I'm not scary," Jamie said gently, rubbing my shoulder. "You've told me no and not felt guilty or like I might leave, right?"

I smiled at him. "No, you're my loyal golden retriever lover. Even if you growl and make me feel sexy."

He winked at me. "Then they need to both understand that I will probably have the rest of your firsts. And if not, that's fine too."

"Because you don't care that they're her first," Colton muttered.

"Nope. We're redoing our history and experiences together. You guys can do the same when she's comfortable. But I think you guys restarting as friends is great as long as you're not alone to start. She's still too upset for that. She flinches and steps away from you. That's not healthy for her. Even if I'm in the house or whatever."

"I would agree to that," Colton said immediately, surprising me. He nodded when I looked at him. "I get desperate, Arabella. I lose my mind that it's over and we are done and… I tried to behave better and understand. Jamie's right that I was too far underwater. I can't ever understand what you suffered."

I ate for a bit and thought about what they'd said and found myself nodding. "I'd like my friend Colton back. Slowly."

"Slowly," he said with a shaky breath.

"Slowly is good," Jamie said as he popped the last bite of his spring roll in his mouth. He stood with a bunch of containers before leaning in, kissing my cheek. "We can have our hot tub date Friday after you get through your crazy and all the orders. I'll make it a good Friday for you because you will be on the menu. Repeatedly. I'll handle dinner too."

I blinked after him and didn't even know what to say until he was already out of the room. "You're getting a bit too bold there, cheeky brat!"

He simply laughed.

"You're blushing," Colton chuckled.

"Shut up and eat," I grumbled, sighing as I reached for a spring roll as well. "I'm too old to be this…" I didn't even know the right word.

"How are things shaping up with the orders?" he asked after we ate a bit more. "The coffee cart asshole is long gone, so there's no problem there. He called off the job of roughing up the food trucks."

I nodded. "We're in good shape. Dion's system of people able to text in to set their location for pickup even if they've already ordered is a huge help. We didn't have to redesign our whole ordering system before such a big holiday. The twins say it will be done before the Mother's Day crazy."

"Good, good. I heard a lot of good came out of the powwow Saturday besides Jamie's mom getting people in line."

I cleared my throat. "Yes, you gave a lot of people—"

"No, sorry, not me. I wasn't trying to get you to—not me." He waited until I looked at him. "I meant the groups wanting to do business with you. I heard one group said they'd do a factory just for petite fours and mini cake cute gifts. Something you could do but don't now and there's a market for."

I sighed and nodded. "Yes, more want to do it and all now. And we found more truckers. There's a lot. I think it's time to do what we are better and fully what Costco will allow with their bigger reach. Giving more karma to America would be great, but there is a whole other world out there."

"For sure," he agreed. "Yeah, the balance and reach can be… I can't even imagine. I think building your power should be the focus, and you can send your power through social media and other ways. Show up in a market and give away treats and no one knows it's you. That can be done when you have less crazy."

"We won't have less crazy if always expanding."

"But you won't have more power grown," he sighed. "Yeah, it's exhausting."

"How is your mom handling things? How are people treating her?"

"Better than expected, but I have a feeling that has more to do with the ancient vampires and minions of your brothers hovering and itching to take their heads," he admitted, nodding when I couldn't hide my shock. "Your brother made it very clear that he thought it best to wipe the slate clean and just be done with it."

"Sometimes I don't think he's wrong."

"My mother said the same, but there shouldn't be much of a need for real leadership besides if there's a problem. Don't be stupid. Don't try to control a goddess or try to take over the world. Is that really so fucking difficult?"

"Apparently," I drawled.

"I cannot believe Zeus was there and thought it was all a meeting of supes and gods to overthrow him," he blurted after a few moments.

I sighed. "Hera used to feed that paranoia to make herself look better and how loyal she always was. We'd argue with him and she'd do whatever he wanted and that would be how she'd stir things up after he had another affair. His paranoia is now to a ridiculous level. It's…" I shook my head.

Ridiculous really wasn't a strong enough word anymore.

We had a really good conversation though even if we talked about serious topics. And those men for the business meeting did show up. She wouldn't even greet them and finished her meal, paying and leaving after calling them petty assholes with inferiority complexes.

Nice.

And somehow, she would be "difficult" and "problematic" or "emotional." Colton said the whole thing was disgusting, and he'd walked her to the elevator and gone back to chew them out and warn them that if they ever embarrassed him with their games and bullshit, he'd bury them in his next project.

That they'd lost his business, and their lack of professionalism was beyond ridiculous. They hadn't even called or texted to apologize, say they were going to be late. They just strutted in like they owned the place and everything was fine. Their inability to handle something as basic as being on time for a prospective meeting should make them feel humiliated.

And he planned to make sure people knew that was how they handled business so they were.

I smiled as he talked. That was part of what had made me like Colton so much. He was so passionate and honorable. He never let people get away with playing those sorts of games or flexing their muscles to demean others. Whoever those men were wanted to look down and put a former lingerie model in her place.

Colton Knight wouldn't ever be party to that, and he would die on that hill instead of letting something like that go.

I had—and still did—find that extremely attractive.

No, I wasn't ready to let Colton walk out of my life. Maybe I was being an idiot and repeating past mistakes. I didn't think so.

I was probably making new ones.