Chapter 19

Easton

Fuck.

I'd laid claim like some Neanderthal back in caveman days.

But I'd meant it. Every word. Every need. Even now, I was tense from the longing that refused to abate, my balls so damn tight I winced every few seconds in pain.

She'd tried to deny me. Of all people.

And I'd agreed. What the hell was wrong with me? I wasn't the kind of guy to allow any woman to dictate shit to me.

Because you care about her.

Now, I suddenly had a conscience? I laughed as I thought about the defiance in her eyes and in her voice. Meanwhile, her continued desire remained just underneath the surface.

I'd been forced to keep myself in my room for fear of bursting into hers, taking what I wanted. Even as I'd left, she'd had far too many teasing mannerisms that had almost pushed me over the edge.

Again.

Maybe it was in our best interest to remain professional until the enemy was found and exterminated. I found it interesting that for all the years of patience I'd had, I was at a loss. My needs were primal; my longing to make her a permanent possession had remained with me all night long.

So much so, I'd gotten little sleep.

Meanwhile, she'd been working, coming up with ideas that were incredible. What the hell was I doing?

Sex had been used as a powerful tool since the beginning of time. Both men and woman had seduced each other to get what they wanted. There were women in history used by barbaric men to lure an enemy into a fragile state where they were slaughtered with ease.

For me, sex was a drug that once I enjoyed, it was impossible to let go.

She'd been more than receptive to my needs at least at first, yet I'd still sensed she wasn't certain if everything I'd told her was truthful.

Maybe that's why she'd really pulled back, fearful that by getting any further involved I'd stain her innocence. Hell, yes, I would. That's exactly what I had planned.

Waiting.

Patience.

Sure, I could wait.

What Styx had said about her learning everything remained in the forefront of my mind. I'd been surprised answering her questions had been so easy. Was it about continuing my testing of her or expunging my soul?

Even with her pushback, I was still in a damn good mood, so much so that as soon as I stepped from my sports car, I noticed my two brothers, who were waiting not so patiently, looked at each other the moment they noticed me.

"What? So, I'm late," I said, not caring in the least. The fucker we intended to torment like the old days could wait a few minutes. I'd taken the time to have coffee for a change, enjoying the thunder as it had rolled into the city. It had yet to start to rain, but that was coming. Even the wind was different than usual, as if providing a hint of the evil about to be unleashed.

"You're chipper for a change," Creed huffed. "Even if you look like hell."

"Not much sleep," I said, unable to refrain from keeping the grin.

"Oh, he has it bad. Sleepless night, my ass. It's the woman. I told you," Styx mused.

"Fuck you both," I told them.

Styx laughed, pointing his finger. "I told you that once you found the right woman everything would change. You just chose not to believe your older and wiser brother."

"Ha!" At least we could make light of situations, something that hadn't been possible until recently.

Creed took a deep breath, looking away, his tone more serious. "She's pretty young. Vulnerable."

"So what?" My demand was followed by a laugh. "She has an old soul. But right now, we're doing nothing more than writing a book together."

"He's philosophical," Styx said, still grinning. "Now, she's a co-author?"

"Maybe." I'd already thought about it. Her talent was off the charts.

Creed turned his head in my direction. "When they're younger, they can either be pliable, trained to become what we want, or as unpredictable as fuck."

Styx got in his face. "Wait a minute. Is that what you did with Bella? You molded her into exactly what you wanted, like a Barbie doll?"

The great leader of the mafia part of our regime huffed. "I was lucky. Bella understood who I was from almost day one."

"So you believed," I said with disdain in my voice. He threw me a hateful look but knew I was right. Not that Styx had been any different with Emily.

"And maybe that's what Easton is hoping will happen." Styx shook his head.

"I found out the dirty little secret your captive has been doing her best to hide her entire life." Creed seemed far too pleased with himself.

"Okay. What? What can a girl from Montana with highly respectable parents, siblings who are doing their best to make their place in society, and a typical midwestern upbringing hold as far as secrets? Granted, fleeing Seattle certainly adds credence to there being something that's not quite right."

Creed acted as if I'd insulted him, throwing open the back door of his Mercedes, yanking out a file and tossing it to me. "That's putting it mildly. Her uncle is exactly like our father, or maybe you could consider him even worse."

I caught it, refusing to look at it right away even though my curiosity was piqued. "What are you talking about?"

He leaned against the driver's door of his vehicle, obviously pleased with himself. "The man is a grade-A bloodthirsty, manipulative serial killer. Tried and convicted as such. Now, I give her parents credit, especially Sara's mother; they did their best to remove themselves from the situation, pretending the man was no longer part of the family once he was arrested. Yes, it came as a horrific shock to everyone, including what the police found lurking in the bowels of the man's basement, outbuildings, and on his property. I can't imagine the scrutiny the family went through right after he was arrested."

"If this is true, why the fuck couldn't I find this out?" I yanked open the file, flipping from page to page. Jesus. After the man's arrest, he appeared happy, as if it was just another part of his scheme. While our father had rarely smiled, the eyes were the same. Hell, seeing Ronny Carlton's arrest picture almost made me want to head to a mirror.

"The man was Sara's mother's half-brother, different father. From what I can tell from talking to my buddy up that way in Washington State, the press hounded the family at first, but the prosecutors managed to squelch a number of their leads, including names of Sara's parents, because of threats received by the family and the fact too many details were being leaked to the press."

"Shit," I muttered. No wonder she was curious, not necessarily frightened of who and what I was. "She's worried an apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

"There is some magic to that." Creed was making light of the situation.

"Magic? There is no magic about brutal killers."

"Even us?" Creed smiled as if catching me in a terrible lie.

"What a tragic thing for a family to go through. Huh?" Styx glanced from one to the other of us.

"Yeah. At least we were indoctrinated into understanding the reasons behind our father's behavior. My guess is that Sara and her family had no clue who he was or what he was capable of." Creed exhaled. "Maybe you're right in that's why she gravitated toward you, bro. She was trying to figure out how a member of her own family could possibly slaughter and dismember people."

"Or maybe," Styx interjected, "she simply has an excellent imagination, which will allow her to become an excellent writer. Either way, Easton obviously cares for her."

"Maybe you're both right." I wouldn't be able to deny it for long that she'd changed me, and in such a short period of time. I'd never thought it possible. What I had to admit was that I had it bad for the sweet and innocent girl, so much so I wanted this to be over with quickly.

The cravings I had for her were dark and some would say far too sadistic, but while I'd awakened or nurtured the dark part of her, she'd captivated the boy my mother had enticed and educated. However, what we shared could still be considered dangerous on multiple levels. Fuck. I had no idea what to say to her.

The silence and tension between all three of us was palpable.

"We need to get back to why we're meeting. Who is this reporter?" I finally asked, although it was tough to take my mind off the complications knowing about her uncle could bring to the table. I had a feeling she was curious about the man, likely having spent at least some time with him when she was younger. Given her mother and father's attempt at shutting out that part of her life, Sara had no method of coping with the situation.

How the hell was I supposed to help her given the man I'd been turned into?

"His name is Chase White. He's a low-level player who was tipped off by someone. Now, if my sources are correct, he's poised to present a news article that will attempt to lure the police back to this property. Someone has been providing him with enough feasible and plausible details I had no doubt if published, the Feds will be knocking at our doors."

"And digging up your beautifully landscaped property," Styx added.

The man had turned the hunting grounds into an oasis of sorts. "Will they find anything?"

Creed glanced toward the forest that we all knew so well. "No. Other than our mother's shallow grave."

"Whoa. Hold on. You dug up the bodies?" Styx asked, his face showing the same kind of shock I felt.

"By now they were mere bones and not tough to do since our father kept a fucking map of where he'd buried them like an idiot."

"Where the hell did you find that?"

Creed snorted. "In a box in one of the attic compartments along with a hit list of sorts. The police would have had a field day."

"He was keeping his own version of a trophy," I mused.

"No, he had pieces and parts that only monsters enjoyed looking at." Creed allowed the disgusting information to sink in.

"At least you handled the situation, but we would have helped." Styx was being serious.

"There wasn't enough time to coordinate a family operation. Bella was already getting far too curious about clues I'd dropped much like I take it you're doing with Sara. I knew it was a matter of time before the scrutiny we'd face would ruin our lives. I couldn't allow that to happen. What better opportunity to remove every aspect of the past than when designing a beautiful garden respite?" Creed grinned.

"I'll be damned." Styx chuckled. "And here I thought you couldn't surprise me."

"I still have a few of surprises left inside me." Creed whipped out his sunglasses. "By the way, we need to be very careful how we handle the reporter. He made enough noise I had a friendly call from our local police captain letting me know the prosecutor's office was suddenly curious all over again."

"To be expected," I said.

Styx shook his head. "That doesn't mean it's not horrific timing. With our contract the way it is with the Pentagon, we need to be prudent how we handle every aspect of business."

Creed and I looked at each other, both nodding. Our oldest brother had always been the sense of reason.

"It's Mother's heavenly birthday coming up," I reminded them.

My two brothers looked at me. The fact that after her death, our bastard of a father had tried to disguise her disappearance by acting as if she didn't give a shit about her three children still continued to take a toll.

At least on me.

Maybe that's why I couldn't stand being on the estate Creed had taken over. While he'd gone to great lengths to renovate both the interior and the exterior including the grounds, spending millions of dollars doing so, the memories were still far too painful.

"One last hunt, gentlemen, although we won't be digging a grave today. We have men to handle it for us given our status in society."

Status in society. At least now I could laugh, very grateful he'd cleaned up the mess our father had created. The bastard had always believed he was above the law.

"I'll drive," Styx said, pointing to his SUV. "You just need to tell me where we're going?"

As I climbed in, I began to study the file on Ronny in earnest. While there was no doubt our father had been little more than an animal, not a single woman or child had been on his hit list, other than our mother. Sure, he'd used what experts would call abusive behavior on his three sons, but he revered families. It was something I'd tried hard to forget given my hatred toward the man.

But it had instilled in me both the longing and the reverence toward having a real family.

A normal one.

If such a thing existed.

Sighing, I continued flipping through the file, feeling that protective side of me crawling to the surface all over again. How in God's name had Sara and her family tolerated the horrific scrutiny, the police pounding on their door so many times in the middle of the night? I certainly knew that you couldn't pick out a serial killer when they attempted to go about living a normal life. Many of the most famous murderers had been pillars of society, including the Boston Strangler.

No wonder they'd run.

Our father had been respected for the most part, carrying on as if he adored his family. People had no clue what he was capable of, including similar officers who'd pounded on our doors while attempting to pin one or ten murders on him.

I scrubbed my jaw, trying to make sense of why Sara had been drawn to me in the first place. Had it been because I'd exuded some beacon similar to what upon her uncle had done? She'd never read any of my writings, only listening to my lectures, but by their nature they had fallen into what many would call abysmal darkness. But it was all fiction with only a dash of reality thrown in.

I couldn't answer that any more than I could why she was the one.

But I was more certain than ever of my dominating decision to keep her now. Was it horribly wrong? Perhaps, but no matter how many times I pretended to repent, I would never be considered a moral man.

Everything I'd heard and read made my obsession for her intensify.

"You know? I haven't even seen the sanctuary you created for Bella and her love of nature," Styx admitted. "Have you?" Asking me, he stared into the rearview mirror given I was in the backseat. His eyes were imploring, maybe searching to see if I could stand tolerating walking the grounds ever again.

"Nope. I never wanted to. Our mother is in heaven, our fucking asshole of a father burning in the fires of hell. Speaking of which. What did you do with our father's body?" When Creed didn't immediately answer, I was reminded that all three of us had been encumbered by a criminally trained mind.

"Let's just say he was put to good use in the garden."

Styx glanced into the rearview mirror again. Creed was a lover of the macabre and drama, often embellishing details.

Somehow, I had a feeling he wasn't doing so with his last statement.

"And Bella knows about this?" I asked.

"To some degree. I told her enough about dear old Daddy she stopped asking questions. She's accepted me for who I am and that's all that matters." Creed laughed. "She's quite a woman. Incidentally, she wants to have the christening for your nephew at the house in a couple weeks. Can you handle it? You are going to be deemed our child's godfathers. It was at Bella's insistence."

I'd seen the little baby boy once, on the day of his birth. Maybe now, I understood why. I'd been far too sad about the fact both brothers had managed to move on with their lives while I'd felt as if I would never break free of the thick chains secured by our father. A strange tingling washed over me, the honor of what both he and his wife wanted making me more emotional than I was used to. "I don't know."

"Come on, man. We're moving on," Creed said. "We need to engage in normal activities."

Again, the word normal. I had no idea what that entailed any longer.

"Sure," Styx said. "I know Emily has been dying to bring some presents she bought for Christian. You know how women are."

When I'd heard what Creed and Bella had named their baby boy, I'd wanted to laugh. It seemed far too… decent for a child brought into a family with our background. Maybe Creed and Styx had the right idea.

Securing a family of our own could provide healing powers, the salvation I'd longed for my entire adult life. However, I knew trying to enjoy cake and laughter, watching presents being opened and drinks being served would bring back horrible memories.

No matter the fact new life had been breathed into our family.

"You need to let go, Easton. If you don't, you'll never be happy. In fact, you'll get to a point where you can't breathe or think, eat or sleep. All you'll desire is to turn back the hands of time. Don't fall into the same horrific abyss Creed and I did. I want more for you. Maybe fate intervened just in time by bringing Sara into your life." Styx's voice hadn't sounded so serious or so full of concern in a very long time.

I knew he was right. "I understand. Maybe that's why I no longer want to teach. It wasn't making me happy or removing the ghosts."

"Only something special, something worth dying for will help you with that. Ultimately, the decision is up to you whether to give into your personal demons or survive. I have every reason not just to survive but to thrive."

As I fisted my hand, my thoughts drifted to Sara once again, and another slight epiphany swept through me. Yes, I believed in karma, but up until this point only destructive karma. Maybe I'd paid for my sins, doing my time in purgatory. One could hope. "Maybe."

"Does that mean you'll come to the christening?" Creed pushed.

I took another deep breath. I felt as if I was standing on some steep precipice. Now or never.

"Yeah, and I'll bring Sara. You really will like her." I laughed.

"Whoa. I thought you two were just partners," Creed mused.

"Very funny. I have plans for when we finish."

They both feigned gasping and once again, I gave them both my middle finger. It was good to joke around with them for a change.

"I already told Creed she was perfect for you." Styx was genuinely happy. Another cathartic moment. Who knew it was possible in our broken family? "Why wait?"

"Because that's what she wants." When they both lifted their eyebrows, glancing at each other, I huffed. "What? Say it."

"You're allowing a woman to dictate your love life?" Styx teased.

"She's right. If we're going to get this book done in the time allotted, then my decision to tame her will need to wait."

Creed coughed. "Tame? You want her to surrender to your needs. I like it. I think our baby brother is finally on his way to growing up. I think the truth is that she's taming you. Perfect."

"Fuck both of you."

Another word I'd already abused. Perfect. I allowed myself to become lost in the thought of having a family of my own. Styx had been right in that I'd wanted to have a normal family more than the two of them. All because I could still hear my mother whispering in my mind and in my dreams.

As Creed mentioned the location of the reporter, my thoughts remained firmly on the girl who, while hungering to learn more about the darkness, didn't need that kind of burden in her life.

Now I just had to figure out what the hell I was going to do with my epiphany. Another word that was getting its usage today.

Shit, I'd left her with instructions of what to accomplish prior to when I got home like any good employer would do. We'd write. We'd outline. We'd delve further into the wacked mind of my character.

After that I'd planned on fucking her again. Or maybe before.

Or both.

What the hell.

She was tasty.

Now I felt guilty for even bringing her into my unstable world.

There was utter quiet inside the SUV as Styx drove, all three of us consumed in our personal thoughts and I had a feeling on this day, we were all thinking the same thing for a change.

What if things had been different when we'd been growing up? What if our father hadn't been a monster?

A heavy burden remained on my heart. I cared for Sara deeply already. I could push it aside, saying it was because of the chemistry we shared or the mental aptitude and desire to explore aspects of the human psyche most people shied away from. But I doubted once I peeled aside all the layers and the armor I'd crafted around myself that the answer would appear to be anything close.

As Styx continued the drive outside of town, I was shown a few of Chase White's articles from recent months, including those he'd penned in the last week. A few had already alluded to the fact we were monsters capable of heinous activities. He'd even brought up in limited detail investigations the police had undertaken almost two decades before. That meant he had a reliable and very knowledgeable source providing him with details.

It was vital we find the source. While Chase, if allowed to live, could prove damaging to the family, it was nothing in comparison to the person responsible for the cryptic threat. While I had no real desire to partake in the violent aspects of our mafia family, none of us would ever be able to fully live a normal life as long as our past was continually brought up.

Could we eliminate every chance someone out there knew details of our father's hunts? No, but it had been long enough and with the bones being removed, the likelihood of being prosecuted for anything was becoming less and less possible.

Styx pulled down a street that was obviously residential but there were few houses in the area. It was an older area, but well maintained. And from what I could tell, the population could be older given there was almost no one out, few cars on the road in the area. That was good given what we were about to do.

"Chase lives alone and I'll give the man credit. He took great pains in attempting to keep his address secret," Creed said.

"You know eliminating him will only push our unknown enemy into altering his methods of attempting to destroy us," I told him.

"Absolutely, but when methods are required to be changed, usually mistakes are made. That will aid in finding who's behind the threats."

"So there's been a second," I said.

Creed nodded. "Similar wording. Cryptic shit that I'm even having a couple of my computer guys look at to determine if there might be a hidden message in them. Plus, I had the same bogus breather just this morning. Park over there. That's Chase's house."

"I wonder why I haven't received a call as of yet?" I mused.

"My guess is you will. This is a game more than anything." Creed leaned forward in his seat.

"Do you have a cleanup crew standing by?" Styx asked as he pulled against the curb to park.

"Of course. I'm a full-service operator."

Creed was thoroughly enjoying his position as top dog of the mafia portion of our family, something I'd never wanted.

As we climbed out, it struck me that Creed was so comfortable in his skin and his position that he didn't worry about handling business of this nature in the daylight. Yes, I'd been called to assist him in tracking enemies over the years, acting as his lieutenant or what could be called the Capo position. I'd felt nothing but ice in my veins at the time, knowing that it was either kill or be killed. But this felt different. Not wrong but distasteful, even if I knew just how dangerous a reporter could be.

Often more so than any prosecutor out there. The world of public opinion was jaded, so many prepared to jump into a lynch mob simply because they needed a distraction from their boring lives. Those who said bad press was still good hadn't lived a day in our world. I buttoned my jacket to hide the weapon I had in a shoulder holster. There was no sense in drawing any more attention to our arrival than necessary.

As we headed toward the house, Creed chatted with Styx as if this was a typical day at the office. Meanwhile, I was quiet. Every vision had a version of Sara in it. I also had an understanding of why she'd held back from her story, likely doing everything she could to hide the fact she was the niece of a real-life monster.

When we were near the door, I pulled Creed aside. "I have a question."

Creed lifted a single eyebrow. "Shoot."

For some crazy reason, I felt awkward asking the question. "Did finding and keeping Bella change your life, your needs?"

He rubbed his jaw as he took a deep breath. "As you well know, I had no desire to enter into a relationship. Women were playthings and nothing more. But all those people I thought were idiots when they said things like having a good woman in your life changes everything or that all powerful men had a woman running the show behind them, well, I didn't want to admit it for a long time but it's true. Do I tell Bella everything about my life and how I handle issues within business? Of course not, but she's not stupid and I assure you she keeps me on center, focused on what's important."

"And having a child?"

He shook his head, looking away for a few seconds. When he turned his head toward me, I was shocked to see a hard man like Creed, a guy who'd enjoyed seeing the light leave his victims' eyes, had tears in his for the first time in as long as I could remember.

If ever.

"Having a child is the best reason to believe in hope, to be able to forget the past, and to find the kind of light none of us believed was possible in life. You've known this girl for a semester, although until recently you were clueless. Take it slow but open yourself up to possibilities. You might be surprised that the nightmares will finally end and you can shove the past into the black fucking hole it should be in. But in order to do so, take a piece of advice from a man who never trusted anyone. Be honest with Sara. Be forthcoming. Keep your promises and by God, learn that women are strong and sensible but need their men to make fools of themselves."

"Plus," Styx interrupted, "it doesn't hurt if you figure out how to be a romantic guy. It's the little things that matter to women. Bring her treats and flowers but also take time to do nothing but watch a movie. I know it sounds crazy, but they'll fight for you until the death if needed as long as you respect their needs and wants. The key to a happy marriage."

I wanted to laugh at what they were both saying, but I could tell by their expressions not only were they dead serious, they were also very much in love.

"Good advice," I finally said.

Creed thumped me on the back. "Now, let's let our dear boy Chase know fucking with the Saint boys wasn't in his best interest. I'd like to get the bloodshed done for the day before I help my sweet Bella continue plans for the baby shower. And you both better come with a dozen presents or I will never hear to the end of it. Trust me. You don't want to be on Bella's bad side and neither do I."

Both men laughed and moved closer to the front door, Creed prepared to kick it in. A strange laugh bubbled to the surface.

We were bad men through and through, killers without consciences, but at the end of the day, all we'd ever wanted was to have a happy family.

Was there such a thing as salvation after all the horrible deeds we'd performed?

Only our maker could answer that question, but I knew it was time to find my way out of the darkness and into the light.

And in my mind, the only way to do that was to fall for the very woman who'd enticed the beast from his lair.