Chapter Twenty

D ory sat in the parlor of Silver Meadows with her two very good friends, her back to the portrait of Lady Belinda, not wishing to look upon the perfect lady. She sewed lace onto the neckline of her sky-blue gown. It was to be her wedding gown, and she’d put off the task for weeks. With only days left before her marriage to Lord Dearling, she’d forced herself to work on it. Having Lissette and Rose with her helped. She sighed, not looking forward to the rest of her life, but still confident she’d made the right decision.

“Dory, I’m confused.” Lissette’s dark-brown gaze seemed to look into her soul. “You are not excited to be marrying. Is it not what you wished for over the last two years and the reason for attending the season?”

Lissette’s blunt questions were one of the traits she liked most about her. Being from France, and the country, no less, she was often confused by the complicated ways of society in England. But as soon as she was ready to come out, she was bound to be sought after. Not only was she a dark beauty with the slightest of accents, but she was very skilled at being a lady. She just didn’t understand the intricacies yet that she needed to know to debut.

Dory shrugged, not sure she could clearly explain. “It is and it isn’t.” At Lissette’s raised brows, she tried. “Yes, the season is for finding a husband, and I had greatly hoped for that to happen. We have to find a titled lord whom we can care about. I was fortunate in finding someone at Rose’s house party.”

Rose grinned, quite happy to explain. “Yes, she found Lord Dearling.”

“But then why is she not happy?” Lissette lifted her hand in question.

Rose put down her needle and studied Dory as well. “ Are you not happy?”

Dory shook her head, no longer able to hide it from her two good friends. The Duchess of Northwick and the Countess of Sommerset were well aware of why she was marrying, and that Lord Dearling was not her choice, but Lissette and Rose had been so happy for her, she’d not gone into the particulars. Yet now, she found herself crying every night, and she could no longer keep her sadness from them.

“Wait, I thought you were very happy.” Rose looked about to cry herself. “You seemed a bit unsettled the day of the ball but then you accepted Lord Dearling’s proposal. I thought you were pleased, but you’re not. Is this why you’ve been focusing on your studies and not on your wedding?”

Dory gave Rose a sad smile. “Yes.”

Dory looked to Lissette, who nodded knowingly. Not for the first time, Dory wondered how old the woman was. They had been told nineteen, but Lissette was worldly wise beyond that. “I am happy I am marrying, as I need to. However, I’m not happy because Lord Dearling is not the man I wish to marry.”

Rose inhaled loudly, but Lissette shook her head. “This is not good.” Again, the woman’s dark stare focused on Dory. Then, much like the fortuneteller from the fair, Lissette spoke as if she knew more than was possible. “You are in love with a different man.”

She froze. Lissette’s ability to assess a situation was a bit unsettling at times. It was one reason why they had nicknamed her Dague , which was French for “dagger.” She was particularly good at accurately focusing in on the issue at hand, which is when they would use the nickname. The woman also happened to be an expert with weapons.

“What?” Rose’s exclamation gave Dory a moment to decide how to answer.

She would be leaving Silver Meadows forever in a few days’ time. She owed her good friends the truth. Perhaps they could learn from her mistake. “Dague is correct. I fell in love with someone else at your house party, but he did not reciprocate those feelings.”

“Oh, Dory, that is awful. But then why marry Lord Dearling?”

While Lady Elsbeth had been well aware, Dory had never told her other classmates about her mother’s activities. She took a deep breath, hoping they wouldn’t think less of her. “I must marry before my mother causes a scandal. She is miserable in her marriage to my father, and I’m not sure when that happened, as I remember them happy when I was young. But because of her misery, she finds solace in the arms of other men.”

“No.” Rose’s eyes rounded and her hand flew to her mouth.

Lissette shook her head. “I have seen such before. So you accepted Lord Dearling.”

“I did. He does love me. He’s also kind and anxious to please me.”

Rose grasped her arm tightly. “I am so disheartened for you. Who is the man who could not see what a wonderful woman you are? Was it Manning? Retfield? Tell me, and I will happily snub him the next chance I get.”

Dory shook her head, not willing to put a rift between dear Rose and her hard-hearted brother.

“I say, do not wed. Wait for a man who loves you and whom you love in return.” Lissette’s gaze took on a dreamy look. “Life is about love. We French know this.”

Dory had spent so much of her time teaching Lissette about the life of an English lady, she’d never considered what her friend’s life had been like in France, except that it had been hard with the war. “Have you been in love before?”

“ Oui , I have. It is glorious. étienne and I were much in love.”

At Lissette happy visage, Dory found herself feeling jealous. “If you were in love, why did you not marry?”

The woman’s face changed, her full lips thinning. “The war. It kill my étienne.”

Immediately, Dory laid her hand on Lissette’s arm, her heart aching at such sadness. “How awful.”

“The war does not care about people. It cares only for land.” Lissette hard gaze bored into the rug as if she could somehow exact revenge with her stare.

“You are now here, where it is safe.” Dory squeezed her friend’s arm before releasing her. “We have many men here. I hope that you can love again.”

Lissette shrugged. “I do not know. But I do know that I will not marry unless I am in love, no matter what Grandmaman say.”

Dory wanted to give her comfort, but Lissette was not one to accept it. It was clear she was truly upset. She only spoke French or switched her words about when her feelings took over her thoughts. Maybe when she learned about the relationship of reason and emotion when she studied Aristotle, it would help her. Both ladies were enjoying their studies, Rose excited to have more subjects to discuss and Lissette simply hungry for all knowledge.

Dory remembered feeling the same but now felt as if it mattered little in the end for in a only a couple of days, she’d be married and running her own household. She would ask Lord Dearling for pin money so she might purchase books. Hopefully, he would continue to love her. She did not wish her marriage to be like her parents’. She would never seek the arms of another while married. Would Lord Dearling? Would he keep a mistress? Did he have one now? She’d heard men had needs that had to be met. Would it matter to her? With so many unknowns, she felt like a man thrown overboard with no more than a piece of flotsam to keep—

“Lady Dorothea. Lady Northwick requests your presence in her study.”

She jumped at Harrison’s voice. “Oh, of course. Is something amiss?” She set her dress aside and rose.

“I believe you have a visitor. Lord Dearling.”

Dory ignored Rose’s gasp and quickly walked into the corridor to follow the butler. What could it mean that he was here so few days before the wedding? When he visited last week, he said he couldn’t wait for Sunday.

“Your Grace. Lady Dorothea.” Harrison announced her, then backed out, closing the door behind him.

While Lady Northwick appeared calm, Lord Dearling did not. In fact, he pulled at his cravat and his neck was red. Had he embarrassed himself before Lady Northwick? Immediately, she felt sympathy for him. “Lord Dearling. What a wonderful surprise.” She strode forward, a reassuring smile on her face, or what she hoped was reassuring.

“My lady, I wish to speak with you.” He held his hand out toward the settee placed in the bay window of the duchess’s study. It was not far from her, but it did allow some privacy for their conversation while she observed.

She looked toward her teacher, who gave her a nod. Since Dearling didn’t offer his arm, she walked to the settee and sat.

He stood. “My lady, I’m sure you have heard of the unfortunate circumstances of your mother.”

Her mother? A chill raced through her. “I’m afraid I have not. I have been preparing for our wedding.” Did he wish to move it to today? She wasn’t ready. She still needed two more days to accept her fate.

Lord Dearling’s face crumbled, his brows lowering, his upper lip lifting and his eyes squinting. “Oh, this is not well done at all.”

He pulled at his cravat before looking behind her, no doubt at Lady Northwick. “I’m afraid that your mother was caught in a most unseemly circumstance.”

Unseemly? Then it had finally happened? Still, she needed to know exactly what her mother had done. “I’m not sure I understand you.”

“You wish me to explain?” His voice had risen with his brows.

Blast the man. They were to be husband and wife. Surely, he could tell her. “Yes, I need you to explain.” She wouldn’t look away, willing him to be candid.

“Ahem. Well, it is hardly fit for a young lady’s sensibilities.”

“I understand that you mean to protect me, and I’m grateful that as my future husband, you care about me so much. However, this is my mother, and if there is any way in which I can help her, I must know what has happened.”

The man’s red color rose from his neck to cover his entire face. “If you so insist, then you should know that there is nothing you can do. Lady Preston was discovered in a box at Haymarket Theatre unclothed with Lord Leighhall, also unclothed, atop her.”

“Oh, Mother. How awful.” She had little doubt that Lord Leighhall had orchestrated the entire scene so as to publicly reveal her mother’s adultery. But how incredibly crude, even for her mother. Was her mother heartbroken? No doubt embarrassed. Sympathy for how unhappy her mother truly was rose within her. Perhaps that was because she knew what it was to not have love returned.

“Yes, well, in light of this disgrace, my mother feels it would not do for me to marry you this Sunday as planned.”

Her belly tensed as if filled with metal armor. “I understand that you wish to wait. When, then, do you propose we marry?”

His eyes widened. “You misunderstand me, my lady. I mean to say that I cannot wed you at all.”

She rose, her anger rising with her. “But you said you felt love for me.”

“I did. But please understand the situation I am in now. With this scandal, I cannot in good conscience marry you. People would snicker behind my back and question your whereabouts. Not to mention how it would reflect upon my family. No, my mother is correct. This makes it impossible for me to love you or marry you.”

Furious that exactly what she’d feared was happening, she lashed out at him. “Then, sir, you obviously have no idea what love is to allow this to dissuade you. If I had loved you in return, and your mother caused a scandal, I wouldn’t have let anything keep us apart. Fortunately, I do not, so I do not have to nurse a broken heart simply because you are too weak to ignore a few snickers.”

His head snapped back. “My mother? My mother would never comport herself in such a way.”

She curled her hands into fists at her sides, her frustration mounting. “No, of course she wouldn’t as I’m sure she controls what your father thinks and feels as well as you. I must say with the utmost sincerity, that I owe a debt of gratitude to my mother. If this had not occurred, I would have never known what a poor husband you would make.” She pointed to the door. “Now, if you would be so kind as to leave.”

The man’s face had reddened so much during her tirade, she wasn’t sure if he’d have apoplexy.

His mouth opened and closed a few times before he finally made words come out. “You, my lady, are no lady.” Without another word, he strode for the doors as if the Calydonian boar of Artemis were upon his heels. Yet even as he stalked out, he closed the door softy behind him.

She collapsed upon the settee, her head falling back upon its top as a profound relief filled her. It was all over. Everything.

“Dory?” Lady Northwick sat down next to her. “How are you feeling?”

She turned her head as it lay back to look at her teacher and mentor. As she tried to put into words the array of emotions filling her, she giggled. “I believe I’m happy.” At the look the duchess gave her, she began to chuckle until she laughed out loud, finally sitting up. She held up her hand as she tried to control her laughter. “Do not think me bound for Bedlam until I explain.”

Lady Northwick gave her an understanding smile. “To be truthful, if you were hurt by that man, then I would think you needed to be there.”

That caused another laugh. She found herself drying her eyes with the handkerchief Lady Northwick produced. “I know it may seem odd, but I am relieved that I no longer need worry. I didn’t realize how much I had worried. How many years I had worried, until this very moment.”

“Do you mean about marrying?”

“Yes, and much more. I worried about marrying, my mother, and finally about Lord Leighhall. But now it’s over. I will never marry. My mother has done the unthinkable, and Lord Leighhall, who had sworn to ruin me, has done so in the most creative of ways. Now, I no longer have any choices or need to make them. I am at fate’s whim, if you will. I simply await what my father determines for me.” The relief was profound after years of torment, fighting to somehow make it all right, and controlling what could not be controlled. Now, she found herself feeling sleepy. Unfortunately, the happiness that came with her relief floated by like a leaf on a stream, leaving behind only the cold, clear, and lonely water. With the worry gone, she was left with only the pain of her tortured heart.

“You know you are welcome to remain at the school as long as you wish.”

She leaned over and gave her teacher a hug. Releasing the duchess, she stood. “I appreciate that very much. I have always felt more at home here than anywhere. I imagine my father will not remember me for months as he handles my mother’s actions, so I am pleased to stay at school. Now, I think I will lie down. Would you let Rose and Lissette know?”

Lady Northwick stood as well and took her hands. “Of course I will. I’m very proud of you, Dory.”

Warmth filled her chest, dispelling a bit of the cold. “I wish I could do more to deserve your judgement.”

“No, you could not do more. You are a rare gem that is truly precious. I will have Cook make strawberry ice cream for you to celebrate your freedom from such a man. Now, go rest.”

At least her love of strawberry ice cream was well-known. Nodding, she released the duchess’s hands and left the study. The lightness in her belly was a strange feeling that she doubted would last, but she would be content while she could. For now, she was in a safe place and need not worry about anything but healing her heart.