Chapter Eighteen

N o sooner had she said the words than Dory wished them back.

Lord Dearling’s smile grew wide, but before he could say anything, Lord and Lady Sommerset’s voices caught their attention. They seemed to be arguing in hushed tones that were growing louder. Thankful for any excuse to escape from what she’d just done, she looked to Lord Dearling and shrugged.

Rather than be alarmed, he appeared pleased and started to lean toward her.

She released his hands. “I do believe we should wait to announce our betrothal until you have permission from my father.”

He pulled back at her statement. “Yes, of course. That would be appropriate. Good news such as ours flies on the wind, and it would not do to have your parent surprised. I wish to present my best self to him.”

She almost told him to wear gray and not black but held her tongue. What did it matter what he wore? He would be her husband. He loved her. That should have been important, but she could find no enthusiasm at the prospect of marrying anyone.

He held his arm out to her. “Would you like to return to the ball? I’m sure there are a few friends of yours you wish to tell.”

Besides Rose, there were many friends she wished to tell back at school. Hopefully, she could hold off the wedding until at least the first term. She’d promised both Rose and Lissette that she would be there, after all. She looked toward the earl and countess, not willing to go in without them. “Just one moment.”

She walked slowly toward the couple, catching phrases here and there as she drew closer. There was little doubt in her mind it had to be about the proposal she’d just accepted. But who was pleased by it and who was not was unclear. “Lady Sommerset, would it be acceptable to rejoin the ball?”

The countess turned, obviously surprised by her presence. “So soon?” Her usual secret smile was missing from her face.

Did that mean she wasn’t happy and her husband was? Why would she not be pleased? “Yes, we had a lovely conversation, but it would be rude to remain when Lady Enderly has put so much thought and creativity into this Night Faerie ball.”

“You are correct.” Lady Sommerset walked forward and hooked her arm in hers. “Let us return post-haste. I believe Joanna will be anxious to talk to us.”

Not a little surprised, Dory could do nothing as the countess escorted her past Lord Dearling. She gave him a crooked smile. No doubt he’d expected to ask her to dance once they reentered so they could celebrate. She wasn’t disappointed said dance would have to wait. She would prefer to cry than to dance. How her life had changed so much in just a matter of hours.

Lady Northwick welcomed them back in with a smile. “I am pleased to see that you have caught the eye of Lord Dearling.”

Before she could answer, Lady Sommerset rolled her eyes. “Not just Lord Dearling, but Lords Manning, Mr. Retfield, and Harewood.”

Dory couldn’t stay quiet at such an absurd statement. “Not Lord Harewood. He is not interested in me for a wife.”

Lady Sommerset’s brows lowered. “I’m surprised by that. He has spent a significant time with you.”

“That may be true, but not at my request.” She wished to elaborate, but as Harewood was a good friend of Lady Sommerset’s, she forced herself to say no more on the subject.

Lady Sommerset turned back to her sister, no expression on her face. “Actually, it is Lord Dearling who has clearly won Dory’s heart. She just accepted his proposal of marriage, once he receives permission from her father.”

Lady Northwick did not immediately rejoice. “Dory, is this true?”

She nodded, surprised that her teacher would not be more pleased.

Lady Sommerset, who still held her arm, answered. “It is true. I just heard the proposal. I would like to discuss this with Dory further. If anyone asks after us, we will be in the library where we can have some privacy. Joanna, would you like to join us?”

“No. You are Dory’s chaperone and know more about what has occurred than I. However, if you need my counsel, I am always available.”

The last was directed at Dory, and she appreciated the offer. The duchess was respected by all of them.

“Now, I need to search out my husband, as I’m sure a waltz will soon be played, and we do not dance together nearly enough.” Lady Northwick chuckled before moving away through the crowd.

Dory didn’t have time to aid in her instructor’s search as Lady Sommerset pulled her forward, heading for the ballroom doors to the main corridor.

Her chaperone’s lack of smiles had her instinct telling her this may not be a pleasant conversation. Nervous, she walked with Lady Sommerset, but as they approached the wide opening to the corridor, she felt a chill. Looking to her right, she found Lord Leighhall scowling at her, his fury not only clear in his blue eyes, but in his curled fists. She glanced past him to see Lord Dearling talking animatedly to Lord Manning and another man she didn’t know.

She quickened her steps to match up to Lady Sommerset’s, not at all sure what Leighhall would do now that he knew she was to marry, but confident he would do something.

As they entered the library, Lady Sommerset closed the doors, then walked past her to two chairs set at a large, rectangle table. “Join me.” The countess sat in one of the chairs and arranged her dress. “I’m anxious to hear how this proposal came about.”

With no help for it, Dory walked over and pulled out the chair next to her chaperone. Lowering herself into it, she slumped back. “To be truthful, I did not expect it, but I should have. And to think I bragged one night about being observant.”

“Now, that was not what I expected to hear. Were you not hoping for a suitor by the end of this house party?” Lady Sommerset cocked her head, a kind smile lifting her lips.

“I did.” Even as the question as to what she should reveal materialized in her mind, her trust in Lady Sommerset, built over the last fortnight, especially the last six days, gave her the answer. She would tell her everything, or rather almost everything. Sitting up, she folded her arms on the table before her and narrated all that had happened concerning Lord Dearling and Lord Harewood, except the personal moments she and Fen had in her room. She would treasure those as if he’d been a different person from the arrogant earl who played with her affections.

She wasn’t sure how long she spoke, but by the time she finished with the unexpected proposal, she felt as if she’d relived every moment and wanted to simply sleep and forget. The fire of her anger seemed to have been snuffed out by a lack of will. That Lady Sommerset did not interrupt once had her wondering if she’d conducted herself poorly.

The countess rose, stepping behind her own chair, one hand resting lightly on the back. “I don’t think I can truly express how proud I am at your conduct here.” She held up her hand. “No, going into Lord Harewood’s room with Rose was not admirable. However, from what you have told me, you have conducted yourself beautifully.”

“I did?” It was the last statement she’d expected to hear. She was sure she had made many missteps or she wouldn’t be in such an awkward position of having a broken heart over one man and accepting the care of another man’s heart for life.

Lady Sommerset rolled her eyes. “Yes, you did. Tell me. Why did you accept Lord Dearling’s proposal?”

“My mother.”

“Your mother? Oh, I see. Is it that you fear your mother will…”

“Yes, cause a scandal by being caught with a man who is not my father.”

Lady Sommerset clasped her hands over the back of the chair. “That, I understand. But you do not love Lord Dearling.”

“No. But he loves me and is very solicitous, if a bit awkward at times.” She forced a weak smile. Compared to Harewood, Dearling was like a lamb to a wolf. But unlike Harewood, he wanted her in his life.

Lady Sommerset straightened, her brows lowering. “I am not pleased with Harewood. He did not treat you well. Not only did he make you think he cared for you, he made me think so too. I wonder if that is why my husband didn’t think you should accept Lord Dearling’s proposal. But if he already knew you were an experiment ”—she shook her head, obviously not pleased—“it doesn’t make sense. And I can tell you that when my sister discovers Harewood felt the need to make her school appear worthwhile, when it is already, she will confront him.”

She relished the idea of the duchess giving Harewood a set down far more than she should. While his motivation was understandable, his execution had lacked forethought. That was what hurt. She wished he’d only damaged her ego and not her heart, but he had the opposite effect.

“If it were anyone but Harewood, I would confront him for his arrogance myself.” Lady Sommerset sighed as she resumed her seat. “My sister’s death changed him, so over the years, we’ve all made allowances, but that he chose you as an experiment is far beyond the pale.”

Dory set her hand on the table, as if she could somehow explain her riotous emotions now that her anger only simmered. “He is suffering enough that he still loves your sister, and if I had been more observant, as the duchess taught us, I would not have expected more than the truth.”

Lady Sommerset patted her hand. “I understand your feelings and will respect them. I’m more concerned with you. I can have my husband send a message to your father immediately telling him Lord Dearling is not a good match.”

Now this was a topic she felt particularly well versed in and could keep her heart out of it. “Lord Dearling is a perfect match. He is an earl in his own right and as the oldest will inherit his father’s title of marquess. The man is also not a gambler, a rake, or of mean disposition. He is fit and his breath does not smell. To be honest, if I hadn’t been distracted by Lord Harewood, I would have looked very kindly upon this proposal.”

“But if you hadn’t been distracted by Lord Harewood, would you have received this proposal?”

The truth of Lady Sommerset’s statement did not sit well with her. “If you mean for me to be grateful to him, I cannot.”

“No, I do not mean for you be grateful.” Lady Sommerset gave her a sad smile. “I hope you will be angry. But I also want you to be happy. Which man would you be happier with if given the choice?”

She wanted to cry as the truth emerged from deep in her heart.

“All I ask is that you understand that begging off on a proposal can be weathered, but a life with the wrong man can be debilitating. I know of what I speak. My own biases almost cost me Andrew. I could not imagine my life if I had done what I’d thought was correct instead of following my heart.”

Surprised, a small hope fluttered in her chest before she squashed it like a boulder on a daisy. “But your husband loved you, correct?”

Lady Sommerset nodded. “I understand what you’re thinking, but there are other men who may be interested in you and you them after your heart has healed. Are you sure you wish to rush into this marriage?”

No, she didn’t want to. Could she risk another season of her mother’s behavior? As much as she wanted to, her instinct told her that her mother was becoming far less careful, not more. “It’s not that I wish to, but I must. If I don’t, I could well be a spinster and living at the will of my brother…or worse. At least by marrying, I will have my own home and a comfortable life.”

Lady Sommerset rose, walked over to her, and embraced her. “You are a far braver woman than I could ever be.” She let go and stepped back. “Did you want to forgo the rest of the ball?”

She stood and nodded. “I do, but I won’t. I don’t believe that making an enemy of Lady Enderly would be wise.”

“True. I truly wish Harewood could see what a wonderful woman you are.” She opened her arm to indicate they should leave the library. “Now to remind my husband that I’m always right.”

Dory tried to smile, but couldn’t manage it. Perhaps if she hadn’t had such high hopes as to marry Harewood, she’d be truly happy now. But she had, and now she was to be married to Lord Dearling instead. Surely, there were far worse fates than that.

As they reentered the ballroom, Lady Enderly greeted them at the opening. “Ah, there you are. I was just telling my son he needs to dance with Lady Dorothea. You will accept, won’t you? He’s danced with all the ladies of my house party except you. I wouldn’t want them to think he held any ill will.”

Before Dory could respond to the surprising request, though to be sure, from Lady Enderly’s perspective, it made perfect sense, Lord Harewood stepped forward.

“I think, Mother, that we have depended too much upon Lady Dorothea’s goodwill to help make your party a success.”

He didn’t look at her as he spoke, which fanned the flames of her resentment. “I’d be pleased to dance with Lord Harewood, as it is you, my lady, who requested I do so.”

“My dear, I cannot begin to express my gratefulness for all you have done to assist us in our endeavor to provide happy entertainment to so many.” Lady Enderly’s voice was sincere, proving her kind intentions.

“It is I who am grateful to you to have been invited to such a wonderful fete.” She glanced at Harewood, who appeared distracted. Maybe because the musicians wound down into silence after a waltz.

Lady Enderly placed her hand on her son’s arm. “I believe another quadrille is next. Do take Lady Dorothea onto the dance floor. Now where did your sister disappear to?”

Dory sensed more than heard Lady Sommerset step closer. As Lady Enderly bustled off, Harewood finally met her gaze. “My lady, if you do not wish to dance, you need not on my mother’s account. I noticed you have yet to dance this evening.”

Clearly, he did not wish to dance with her, which irritated her further. She certainly didn’t wish to love him. Sometimes they didn’t receive what they wished. “I would much enjoy a dance, Lord Harewood.”

He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple moving as if he were uncomfortable, just like Dearling. But there was no reason for him to feel that way…yet. Finally, he offered his arm and she set her hand atop it, a strange anticipation growing in her belly that had nothing to do with dancing and everything to do with speaking her mind.

“Lady Dorothea, are you sure. You were just saying you were feeling particularly fatigued.” Lady Sommerset’s ready excuse for her, had her turning.

Though grateful for her kindness, Dory, nodded. “Yes. I very much wish to be in the company of Lord Harewood before I leave for school. This is the perfect opportunity.”

The countess didn’t smile. Instead, she gave a short nod. “Very well. Return to me immediately following.”

“I will.”

Harewood walked her into place opposite of Mr. Retfield and Lady Arabella. As the dance began, she met Mr. Retfield and then returned to her place to wait as Harewood met Lady Arabella. Then Dory and the earl linked hands and turned. “You should be very pleased, Lord Harewood. Your experiment is a success.”

He dropped her hand before fully stopping beside her.

She smiled as she met Lady Arabella in the center and stepped back. When Harewood returned to take her hand, his voice was low. “Did Lord Sommerset say so?”

“No, you did, to him this afternoon.”

They joined hands with the other couple, completing the steps.

When they returned, they faced each other before stepping forward to meet. He was obviously shocked. “My motivation has only been to help you.”

They stepped back and the pattern restarted. At the next opportunity, she made her position clear. “No, your motivation was for the school, which I’m sure the duchess will appreciate when I tell her.”

She watched him as he stepped away, his movements far stiffer than usual. Was he angry? He truly had no cause. She was the one who was angry, but she smiled, actually pleased he was not happy. She’d never thought of herself as vengeful, but perhaps he’d struck something deep inside her. Socrates said that all humans had a beast within and it was those who did not rein it in who became tyrants. She’d never understood that particular philosophy, as she couldn’t imagine not having control over one’s desires, but now she did, as she wanted Lord Harewood to feel guilty. Even as the thought arrived, it tangled with her sympathy of his plight. Because now, she knew what it was to love and have no hope it could ever be returned.

Harewood returned to stand beside her once again. “Are you not pleased with your own success? You made it happen. I only made a suggestion.”

As they stepped away again, she could not respond immediately. Finally, they came back together. “I didn’t know I needed success. I only thought to attract a husband. To think, I had no idea I must first be ‘fixed.’” Her resentment colored her tone and she received an odd look from Lady Arabella as they came together. Dory forced a smile as she nodded and stepped back.

“You did not need to be fixed.” His brows lowered. “I only wished to help you in your goal of finding a suitable man. You still may.”

Oh, she had, but he couldn’t see that. A sudden thought sent a cold chill through her. When they linked hands again, she kept her voice low. “Did you place a bet at your club that I would marry this year?”

His hand jerked as if slapped, but they separated once again before he could reply.

As the dance ended, he bowed and took her arm immediately as he leaned in. “I did not place a bet on you. I would not be so callous.”

A slight relief helped her keep from squeezing his arm as they made their way back toward Lady Sommerset, but the vengeful beast inside her couldn’t allow him to feel good about what he’d done. “That is too bad, as I have accepted Lord Dearling’s proposal. You could have been very happy having placed such a bet.”

He stopped in midstride, causing her to catch her balance. His head turned and he stared at her. “Why? The man cannot appreciate you. You will be bored within the year.”

That she agreed didn’t help the sting of tears in the back of her eyes. “Yes, but he at least loves me, and I will have a home of my own before my mother can ruin my prospects.”

Harewood’s arm beneath her hand seemed made of granite and a tick started beneath his right ear. “I do not think this is a wise decision.”

She lifted her chin and glared at him, despite his face starting to blur. “And I do not care what you think.” Nor did she care about standing there with him. Ignoring protocols, she let go of his arm and made her way to Lady Sommerset on her own, not caring if he followed for appearances’ sake or not.

She had just reached Lady Sommerset, who watched her with her husband, when Lord Dearling stepped up. “Lady Dorothea, may I have the honor of this dance?”

Taking a deep breath, she forced a smile, swallowing down her tears. “I would most appreciate a dance with you, Lord Dearling.”

As her future husband led her to the dance floor, the musicians began, and the strains of a waltz filled the room. She stifled groan. Surely, the evening could become no worse.

She took her position opposite Lord Dearling, glancing behind him to see Harewood heading for the terrace. Just then Lord Leighhall stepped into his place on the dance floor and into her view. The viscount looked past his partner, and studied her. A shiver raced through her just before she took her first stumbling step.