1. Micah

1

Micah

I gritted my teeth against the pain ricocheting up my back. Baby steps, I reminded myself, the same way I had every day this week. Steady and careful movements. You can do this. Archangels don't show weakness.

Slow breaths through my nose helped. They stopped the room spinning long enough for me to pull my shirt over my wounds. The soft cotton brushed against my back and I had to bite onto my knuckles. The anguished scream became nothing more than a whimper when I finally let it free.

" This is what you deserve, Micah. I want you to remember that. "

There were very few things that could cause angels pain, and even fewer that affected those as powerful as myself. But a spelled whip wielded by another arch? That'd do it.

" You led the entire unit into danger, losing your second in command in the process. "

I hadn't bothered to point out to Emilio that Dimitri had been lost to us regardless. One of his fated mates was a demon , for fuck's sake. Not just any demon, but one of the sons of Lucifer. His time with the unit had been borrowed, destined to run out. That he'd lasted this long was akin to a miracle.

Or it had been because of my past interference…but that was something I was too ashamed to revisit.

When the nausea from the pain subsided, I buttoned the shirt with shaky fingers.

" This isn't punishment, Micah. It's a reminder. Step out of line again, and your immortality will be the price you'll pay. "

Emilio hadn't needed to remind me of that. To be honest, part of me had expected that to happen this time. I'd been summoned upstairs the day of the battle, still reeling from everything that had happened.

Especially the thing I refused to acknowledge, even in the privacy of my own thoughts.

My arguments as to why our presence had been required must've been enough to downgrade my punishment from an eternal execution to a whipping.

Unfortunately, Emilio had been tasked with reminding me of my ‘place.' I'd kept my face impassive as the sentence of one hundred lashes was passed, already knowing it'd be far more. Not that Gloria or the other judges who sat on the council seemed to care. They appeared to relish deciding my punishment almost as much as Emilio relished delivering it.

The cell in which I'd received my whipping was one I'd been to many times before. Every time myself or one of my unit committed an infraction, or sometimes just a perceived infraction, I was the one to pay the price. If it was another angel, I could count on the punishment following the sentence that had been given.

That was never the case with Emilio .

Emilio was a wild card. We'd been trained together, several centuries ago. Born to parents who had hated one another, we were doomed before we'd even met. Rivals from the start, I'd risen quickly through the ranks while he'd struggled to make it past the first few challenges. I'd been given control of the Seraphim, God's most elite unit of soldiers, while Emilio had landed in the disciplinary office.

Needless to say, he had a chip on his shoulder where I was concerned. A massive fucking boulder that led to him ignoring whatever punishment had been officially given and delivering what he saw fit.

It was the longest I'd spent chained in that dank chamber. Hanging from my wrists, blood dripping down my body, I lost count around the three hundred mark. A little while later, I blacked out. Or died. With the amount of blood I'd lost, that was entirely possible.

When I regained consciousness, the worst should've been over. My wounds should have been knitting together, healing until there was no physical evidence of my trauma…just the mental reminder lest I fuck up again in future.

For some reason though, they weren't. I could feel my powers fighting to close them, but they were failing. The bleeding had stopped, but there was a barrier there, preventing me from healing completely.

All had become clear when Emilio's gloating face danced in my eyeline. He shook a pot in front of my face. " Cursed ointment. It'll take months to work its way out of your system. Maybe this time you'll actually learn not to fuck around where you don't belong. "

I couldn't speak. Couldn't move. Couldn't do anything.

Emilio wasn't done. He spat at me, grinning widely as his saliva dripped down my cheek. " Fucking demons, Micah. They are the lowest of the low for a reason. Remember this. Remember that next time, it might not be you in these chains. It might be one of your precious unit. Perhaps you should consider protecting them instead of dragging them into danger. "

I didn't need the fucking reminder. Everything I did was for my unit. Even leading them into Hell had been for them.

I met my own gaze in the mirror. Sure about that?

Yes, I was sure. Dimitri was part of our unit. Or rather, he had been. He wasn't now. He wasn't even an arch. He'd fallen for those he loved without a second thought.

That I also wanted to help him because I loved him didn't matter. It never should've mattered. He was never meant to be mine.

It was a fact that had been hammered home a few weeks ago when Dimitri had reached out asking for help. Again.

And I'd gone running, only to be reminded that he was happily mated.

Again .

He hadn't even needed assistance for himself. No, an angel had broken into the Grim Reaper's new place, leaving behind a feather as a calling card. Ferry, the former reaper, had taken it as a warning. He was right to be worried, but that didn't mean I was able to help. I hadn't been able to offer them anything useful. It had served no purpose other than introducing yet another crack to my already broken heart.

There was a knock at my door, Rami's deep voice rumbling through. "Micah, you ready? Everyone's waiting."

"Yes," I called back, pulling my jacket from the hanger with a wince. It was going to hurt like a bitch to wear it, but I wasn't taking any chances. The last thing I needed was one of the Seraphim spotting the wounds through my shirt. The knowledge that I bore punishments on their behalf was a secret I'd take to my eternal grave. "Go down, I'll be there in a sec."

I gritted my teeth as I pulled the jacket into place. Despite my best efforts, a small hiss of air escaped.

The door handle rattled. My head snapped around in alarm, sending another rivulet of pain through me. "Micah, are you okay? Why's the door locked?"

Cursing myself for not waiting until I'd heard Rami walk away, I briskly moved for the door. Flicking the lock, I smoothed all evidence of pain from my face and flung it open. "What? Can't a guy have a few minutes of privacy?"

Rami folded his arms over his wide chest. "You've never needed it before."

"Times change," I said shortly. I tried to step forwards, but Rami was blocking the doorway. "Don't we have a meeting to get to?"

"In a minute." He was scowling at me now. My heart sank. I could count on one hand the number of times Rami had looked at me without a grin on his face. None of them had ended well for me. "You've been acting weird ever since the battle. First you disappear for a couple of days, then you come back behaving oddly. What's going on?"

"Nothing. Everything is fine."

"Bullshit. What are you hiding from us?"

I stiffened my spine. "Are you questioning your superior?"

Rami rolled his deep brown eyes. "Fuck off, Micah. We aren't on the battlefield right now."

"I'm still the leader of the unit." Steel lined my words, something I rarely bothered with. "You can't question me like this."

Rami's nostrils flared, his impressive frame seeming to grow larger. "See, you might think that's helping, but it's actually doing the opposite. You only pull the ‘I'm in charge' card when you're trying to cover something up. Usually, something you'd be better off sharing with the rest of us."

I ground my teeth. I couldn't tell him everything, but I'd have to give him a splinter of truth if I wanted him to back off. People often misunderstood Rami, taking his easy-going persona to mean he was laid-back and relaxed. In reality, he was more stubborn than the rest of us put together. His temper, while difficult to rouse, had earned its rightful place in legend.

"Fine. I'm just…I'm trying to process everything. Losing Dimitri means we have to replace him. We haven't done that since the twins joined us."

There, that wasn't a lie. I was anxious about finding Dimitri's replacement. Turnover wasn't something we really saw in the Seraphim. I said the twins were our latest recruits, but seeing as that had happened before the birth of Christ, even they couldn't be thought of as new .

"That's fair. He's left some pretty big shoes to fill."

I swallowed. "He has."

Rami's face softened. "And you'll feel his loss more keenly than the rest of us."

I looked at the floor. "Yes. He was my second for centuries."

His big hand touched my arm and squeezed. Thank God he hadn't gone for my shoulder. I didn't think I would've been able to hide a wince if he had. "He was more than that for you, Micah."

My sharp gaze flew up. "No, Rami. He wasn't."

Whatever Rami saw on my face had him holding his hands up in defeat. "Okay, play it your way, boss. But remember, we all have eyes. We see things. "

Only the things I couldn't stop them seeing. I might've failed at hiding my true feelings for Dimitri, but at least the frequent punishments I received on their behalf remained concealed. "Everyone ready?"

"Yep." Rami stepped back, finally letting me exit my room. "The unit's assembled in the grand room and the candidates are waiting in the foyer."

"Excellent. Let's get this show on the road."

I hadn't expected finding Dimitri's replacement to be this challenging.

I mean, I'd thought I'd find it difficult in the sense that it would finally cement the loss. That replacing him would be the final nail in the coffin of his leaving.

What I hadn't expected was that we'd find the candidates so…lacking.

"This can't be it," Ezekiel said in disbelief as the fifteenth angel scurried from the room, one of their wings still alight. "How are these the best angels Heaven has to offer outside of the units?"

"It's a good thing they have us," Breann said, tossing her braid over her shoulder. "They'd be fucked if this were the best of the rest."

Everyone murmured in agreement. Seven of the eight remaining Seraphim were sat behind a long table. Benji, the one delivering the tests, was in the centre of the room dusting his hands off. The small, thoughtful furrow between his brows had deepened with every failed candidate .

Privately, I thought my unit had a point—the performance so far had been beyond lacklustre. The issue was that most angels wouldn't want to leave their current units. Being part of a team for centuries built unbreakable bonds. That left us with candidates who either hadn't made it into a unit the first time around, or were looking to join us fresh out of training.

Neither of which made for a suitable candidate for God's most elite unit.

I couldn't let my disappointment show, nor my anxiety that we were no closer to finding Dimitri's replacement than we had been five hours ago. "We'll find someone. This is a marathon, not a sprint."

"That last guy had promise," Theo said, rocking back in his chair.

Nate snorted, rolling his lilac eyes. "Please. You just wanna fuck him."

Theo waggled his eyebrows at his identical twin. "Like you wouldn't?"

"No, I wouldn't. I like my men to be more capable than that." He gave the door said angel had departed through a withering look. "Not prone to mishap. Clumsy men have no place in my bed."

I leaned forwards, cutting off their argument before it could begin. "How many more, Grace?"

Grace's keen eyes flicked down to the list in front of her. The sunshine antithesis to her mate, Breann, she was the only one in the unit with legible handwriting. I didn't know where humans had got this idea that we all produced beautiful calligraphy—most of our attempts looked like the pen had vomited on the page. "Just the one. He's a candidate from Juniper."

A murmur of interest rippled throughout the room. The Juniper unit was only one rung down from us—a fact their leader brought up any time we met. Something told me Lyle would jump at the opportunity to elevate his unit above the Seraphim.

Any member wanting to leave a unit was enough to pique our curiosity, but one where they were rumoured to be as loyal as we were in the Seraphim?

It was downright intriguing.

I looked at Benji. He might be the smallest of the unit, but he was also the deadliest, making him the best choice for delivering these tests. "Don't go easy on them."

Benji inclined his head slightly, the only indication that he'd heard. But when the door opened, he was ready.

White light exploded from him. None of us reacted, knowing the shield I had in place would keep us safe.

The same couldn't be said for the candidate from Juniper.

Less than a second passed before more white light blasted into the room. It clashed with Benji's with a crack. There was a tiny flicker of surprise on Benji's face before he was sent flying backwards. The wall splintered, an ancient portrait falling to the floor.

Rami straightened beside me as I exchanged a quick glance with Ezekiel. Could this angel be the one?

The light cleared, revealing a tall, lithe male. Long dark purple hair fell to his waist, his high cheekbones making him appear more like the elves in human legends than an angel.

He paid us no attention, his focus entirely on Benji, who was getting to his feet. Smart man.

Benji tilted his head to the side, interest firing in his green eyes. The same interest that I knew was mirrored in all of our expressions. We weren't writing a candidate off in the first twenty seconds. That had to be promising.

Fuck, I hoped so. But we all knew Benji wasn't done yet.

Moving as fast as the light that left his hands, Benji went on the offensive. He delivered hit after hit, never pausing, never questioning.

The purple haired angel parried every single one.

"Holy fucking shit," Theo whispered. "Is this really happening?"

Nate, naturally, had to one-up his brother. "Is it bad that I'm turned on right now?"

The candidate paused, his hand poised to strike. He winked at Nate before unleashing his power.

We all watched, gobsmacked, as Benji careened through the air, slamming into the wall again. He slid to the floor and gaped up at the other angel in astonishment.

"That painting's fucked." Rami nodded towards the frame that lay in pieces. "Never did like it. Cherubs are creepy, I don't care what anyone else says."

Benji looked to me, an eyebrow raised in question. I gave a small shake of my head. No, we didn't need to see any more. I got to my feet as Benji did the same. We switched places around the table, with me moving to greet the angel while Benji took his seat beside Grace.

"Are we done?" The angel's voice was as melodic as the rest of him. He was standing perfectly still, yet the air around him seemed disturbed, like his power was so great there was no hope of him fully leashing it. "I can show you more."

"That won't be necessary." I extended my hand for him to shake. "Very impressive. I'm Micah."

"I know." His golden eyes twinkled as they swept over the rest of the Seraphim. "Everyone knows who you are. "

"Yet we don't know you," Ezekiel drawled from my side. I jumped slightly before the ache hit again. How long would it take for me to stop expecting to hear Dimitri's voice as my second instead of Ezekiel's? "Or do we? I have to confess, you look familiar."

The angel smiled, giving a small nod. "I'm Noah. You might have seen me after the battle in Hell. I was at the fault line portal as you journeyed back through."

I didn't remember him, but I barely remembered anything about leaving Hell, too preoccupied by the word that refused to stop chasing me.

Mate. Mate. Mate.

I swallowed, crossing my arms over my chest like it might stop my heart betraying me. "You helped defend it?"

"No, the credit lies with a vampire and a mage. They were the ones who held the line, I merely aided them at the very end."

"He permanently executed fifty demons with a single blast of power," Benji said flatly, spinning a pen on the table. "If he hadn't done so, both the vampire and mage would've lost their immortality."

I had no idea how Benji knew that, but I'd learned a long time ago to not question him. If he said something was so, then that was the way it was. "Very impressive."

Noah's smile was strained. "It was nothing."

I tapped my fingers against my arm. Powerful, yet humble. Excellent qualities in an arch, and a necessary requirement for the Seraphim. For any new members, that was. The twins and Rami brought too much arrogance already. The last thing I wanted was to add any more to the mix. "Why the Seraphim?"

"You're the best." His gaze swept over the curious faces behind the table. "And I've seen how you are together. You're a team. Loyal, fierce, protective. Who wouldn't want to be part of that?"

Rami, ever the flirt, leaned forward with a wolfish grin. "Oh, we can be fierce alright, especially in the bedroom."

I tensed, feeling Ezekiel do the same beside me. Noah seemed perfect, but the last thing we needed was another clusterfuck like the one Dimitri and I had given the team. We'd never even been together, but my unrequited feelings had caused enough problems on their own.

Noah gave Rami an indulgent grin. "Oh, sweetie, I'd break you. As fun as that might be for me, I don't shit where I eat. No offence."

"None taken," Rami said, nodding in respect. "I like your style. Besides, I'm waiting for my mate."

"Aren't we all," Theo muttered.

"Not me," Breann said, gazing adoringly at Grace. "I already found mine."

Grace blushed while the rest of us rolled our eyes. They'd been mated for centuries, but Breann never missed an opportunity to remind us of their happiness. And Grace? She always blushed like it was the first time she was receiving Breann's attention.

A face I'd tried so hard to forget floated through my mind. Not everyone was so lucky with their mates.

I forced my mind back to the current conversation. "Why are you leaving Juniper?"

"It's just time for a change."

It was so fast. Almost too fast to catch, but I saw it. Maybe I recognised it because I also had experience with the feelings he was trying to hide.

Pain. Heartbreak. Longing.

He smiled widely to cover it up—not that it was needed. I doubted any of the others had noticed. I was glad I had though. Suddenly I didn't just want Noah on my unit, I needed him. If I could help him escape the agony that had dogged me for centuries, then that's what I was going to do.

I extended my hand to Noah, ignoring the shocked inhale from Ezekiel. "Welcome to the Seraphim."