Chapter 6

"Conall? Are you in there? Conall!"

I jerked at the shouts and loud, annoying banging that startled me from my sleep. "Coming!" I shouted, just to get the noise to stop. Thankfully, whoever was at the door got the hint, and silence returned to my RV.

Running a hand over my face, I tried to chase the sleep away, but staying up most of the night drawing made that difficult. I climbed down from my bed and walked to the door, careful not to step on what seemed like hundreds of drawings scattered on the floor.

It hadn't been my intention to draw all night, but the muse was calling and holding me hostage. It didn't help that every sketch I did felt like it was missing something. Either the shading of his hair wasn't right or his chin wasn'tchiseled enough, or his bodyproportions were off. Even after dozens of tries, I still wasn't able to capture the essence of the man I'd met—a man whose name I didn't even know and would probably never see again.

Now that was a depressing thought and not one I wanted to start my morning with.

"Who is it?" I asked as I opened my RV door just a sliver. I didn't want whoever was at my door to see the current state of my place. They'd think I'd lost my mind.

My safeguard plan was foiled when the door was forcefully pushed open. Aisha's large size towered over me as shescrutinized me. "Where have you been? I haven't seen you in days."

I rubbed a hand over my face again and groaned. I knew I'd forgotten something while I'd been in my drawing haze. Aisha and I usually explored the surrounding area when the circus was closed or at least spent time together doing our art—me drawing and Aisha crocheting. Now panicked, I scrambled to my phone to check the date and sighed with relief when I saw it was only Thursday. I hadn't missed work.

It wasn't that I would get into huge trouble if I had, but more the fact that I felt like I would be letting my circus family down. They watched me grow up and some probably still saw me as a kid, but I wanted to prove to them that I was a responsible adult. And responsible adults didn't just disappear because they became hyper-fixated on something.

"Shit, I'm sorry, Ai. I didn't mean to just ditch you like that. I got distracted," I said, hanging my head. Aisha sighed and ruffled my already messy bedhead.

"As long as you're alright. Your parents said you hadn't left your place in days, so they've been bringing you food. Now I can see why," she said as she bent to pick up a drawing. "Is this?—"

I quickly snatched the paper out of her hand and hid it behind my back. It wasn't that I didn't want her to see it. Aisha was the first person I'd shown my art to when I'd just started out as a kid, but I'd never been so taken with a target and drawn them nonstop.

Realizing that my entire floor was covered with evidence of my newobsession, I quickly bent down to pick them up.

"Conall..." Aisha said, weariness in her voice. I glanced up to see her brow furrowed with concern. "Isn't he the man who was caught up in the robbery? The one who stank of human?"

I froze and bristled at her words because regardless of how much I considered the people in the circus to be my family, I knew I was different from them—I'd always be different.

"What's wrong with him being a human? I'm human," I said, barely containing the anger in my voice. Aisha looked startled, which wasn't surprising. I didn't usually get angry with her, but maybe it was the lack of sleep and already feeling like I was never enough that made me lash out at her words. She was my best friend, but sometimes I didn't think she realized how much of a toll this difference took on me. It was a barrier I could never cross.

"Conall, you know that's not what I mean..."

"Then what do you mean? Because I'm sure as hell as human as someone can get," I gritted out. I might not know who my parents are, but I doubted there was some history in my genes like Rhett had.

My parents found me abandoned in front of a fire station in the middle of a crowded human city. It couldn't get more human than that, and there was nothing I could do to change that. It didn't matter what name my parents gave me or how much they tried to integrate me into their wolf-shifter culture, I would still always just be…human.

A human that didn't fit in the paranormal world, nor the one I was born in.

"Conall, you know I don't care about that. I just mean?—"

"No. I don't want to hear it. Look, just go back for now. Please?"

Maybe she heard the desperation in my voice, but she didn't fight me and slowly walked away. When she reached the door, she half-turned to me and asked softly, "I'll see you later?"

Aisha didn't dovulnerable, but hell, if the expression she showed me was as close to it as I could imagine. She was my best friend, and I knew she would never hurt me intentionally. I couldn't stay mad at her.

"Yeah," I answered, just as softly. "I just need some time."

She let out a sigh of relief, nodded, and left. The door closed with a loud clunk before shrouding the RV in complete silence. All that was left were myinsecurities and the idea of a perfect man I would never be good enough to have covering my floor.

Maybe it was a good thing I didn't have a roommate anymore, and Aisha was adamant about needing personal space, so she had refused to room with me. I could wallow in bed without anyone judging me, and that was exactly what I did.

Letting the rest of the drawings drop to the floor again, I dragged myself to bed and hid under the covers, letting the early morning pass, along with these emotions I never wanted.