Chapter 15

We stayed at the carnival till closing time, trying out basically every ride and game there was.

I learned Tidun had a fear of ghosts. Between that and his dislike for clowns, I teased that he was a big scaredy-cat inside. He made me promise that I'd protect him, which, of course, I would.

We ended the night with a ride on the Ferris wheel. Kain had given me a sly grin when he led us to our capsule but didn't say anything to embarrass me. He knew Ferris wheels were my thing.

They were the most romantic ride in the history of all time, so of course I was going to ride it now that I had an actual boyfriend. We didn't kiss at the top, because no matter how fast we were moving with our relationship, even I knew it was too soon for that.

At the end of the date, I walked Tidun to his car. Almost everyone had left by now, and his car was one of the few remaining in the parking lot.

"When can I see you again?" Tidun asked, and thank god too.

We'd been lingering in front of his car for the past few minutes, just holding hands and keeping each other company while I worked up the nerve to ask the very same question without seeming overly eager.

"Tomorrow night?" I tried to hide my excitement, but it was clear in my voice. "I work in the morning but can be done around the same time as today."

"Sounds perfect." He sealed the date with a kiss. "I wish tomorrow night was here already," he whispered against my lips.

"Ugh, you need to leave before I don't want to let you go and beg you to come back with me," I said. It was mostly a joke, but I honestly didn't think I could refuse if Tidun had asked to stay with me.

I didn't want to be apart from him. It was like he'd taken over every single cell in my body until all that was left was him. The thought was terrifying, but I couldn't be scared of anything having to do with Tidun.

Tidun was silent for a moment, his face hard to read. His tone was serious when he said, "Conall, I'm not going to lie and say I've been a saint, because I haven't."

I tried to push down the giant green monster in my stomach. The thought of Tidun with other people had me wanting to throw up, but I also knew it was irrational to be angry that he had a past. And when he'd told me earlier that I was the first person he ever wanted anything more than something physical with, I realized his past didn't matter.

Sure, Tidun had a history, but he chose me.

"I know," I said. "I know, and I don't care even if you've slept with half the city."

He raised an eyebrow. "Just how much of a playboy do you think I am?"

I shrugged. "I mean, just look at you. I can't understand how anyone could keep their hands off of you."

With a low chuckle, he took a step closer and wrapped me in his arms. "While I love the confidence you have in me, I'm really not all that."

I wanted to argue, but the look in his dark eyes told me anything I said right now would go over his head. I wanted to tell him how wonderful I thought he was. I'd probably laughed more times talking to him about random conspiracy theories from aliens to the lizard-men who live underground.

He was fun to be around, and not only that, he had me in awe with the confidence he had to show his vulnerability. To tell me he was lost? That took so much courage. And if he couldn't see that, I would always remind him of the kind of man he was until he did, even if that took months. Years.

That was when it hit me. I hoped to god I was still in his life years down the line. And that should have sent warning bells off in my head.

I was never one to have my guard up with others. People were like art, unique with their own stories weaved with millions of lines that made up their lives. Naturally, I was drawn to that. I loved seeing the beauty in others.

But to have such intense feelings for someone so quickly? That had never happened before. I might have only known Tidun for a few days, but it felt like I knew him. It felt so natural.

Before I could delve into these thoughts anymore, Tidun cupped my cheek and tilted my head so that we were looking into each other's eyes.

"The whole point of bringing my past up is because I hope you never feel like you need to invite me back to your place. I'm not with you for your body. I genuinely like spending time with you and talking with you. Hell, I want to share countless more blackmail-worthy secrets with you." A small grin tugged at my lips, and Tidun gently rubbed his thumb beside that spot before continuing, "We don't have to move to the next step until you're ready."

Once again, he showed me just how amazing he was, and I hated that he couldn't see it.

"So you don't want my body?" I said with a grin.

His eyes squinted with amusement. "Don't put words in my mouth now. We'd both have to be dead for me not to want you."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and used him as leverage to pull my body up. The tips of my toes barely touched the ground, but he pressed me so tightly against his body I didn't have to worry about falling.

I was safe in his arms.

"It's a good thing we're both alive and kicking, huh?" I teased and smashed our lips together. The kiss started out fierce, like we desperately needed an outlet to release all these emotions for each other, but it slowly turned tender and into something much gentler.

Tidun held me securely, but his touch was soft as well. The only thing not soft about this was the hard thing poking me in my stomach. Not that I could complain, considering I was in a similar state as I ground my hard-on against his thigh.

He groaned and broke the kiss. He rested his head in the crook of my shoulder, his head facing my neck as he pressed a long kiss on my exposed skin. I shivered at how good it felt.

"You're actually going to kill me at this rate," he rasped before settling me on the ground and taking a step back to adjust his pants. I openly watched his actions and gulped at the sheer size of his bulge.

It made sense for him to have a big dick considering how large he was, but honestly, it was a bit intimidating and made me realize that I was, in fact, not ready for sex.

Did I want to see his dick? Fuck yes. Having another cock on mine was basically a dream come true for me, but it was everything else that was involved with seeing his junk that had me pausing.

What if I wasn't good enough or what he was used to? I didn't think Tidun would actually judge me, but I didn't want to be all in my head my first time being with him.

"Thank you," I said softly.

Tidun still had his head on my shoulder as he asked, "For what?"

"For checking on me and making me realize that I actually don't want to just jump into bed with you."

"Is this your way of telling me you don't want my body?" he stood up and teased, throwing my line back at me.

I grinned and tugged on both his hands. "Never. I definitely want to see the monster you have hiding in those pants."

He gasped exaggeratedly. "How dare you speak of him like that! I'll have you know he doesn't appreciate it."

"I'll be sure to make it up to him later." I giggled, and he chuckled along with me.

I pulled on his hands again, but I was serious this time. "I like being with you too, and I want to spend more time with you. And maybe I'm not ready for anything more…physical just yet. Is that okay?" I asked quietly.

His eyes softened as he brought my hands up for a kiss. "Of course. We don't have to rush anything. I'll wait until you're ready. I'll be here."

My heart skipped a beat, and happiness swelled in my veins.

He'll be here.

I could only hope he meant for as long as I wanted to keep him, because I was thinking forever.