19. Xander

19

Xander

The cafe is a bit busier than usual for what’s turned into our standing Tuesday coffee meet up. I feel odd walking in by myself, but Kaino texted to say their class was running long and they’d be here soon. I have their order, but walking here wasn’t the same without them. Which is utterly ridiculous, because if it were Wednesday and I came here to get a coffee, I wouldn’t feel strange. Okay, that’s not completely true. If it were any day but Tuesday, I’d be going back to my office and making my coffee there. So my reaction isn’t all that odd. That realization makes me feel slightly better.

I push through the clusters of students chatting or focused on laptops, and relax when I see our usual seats are still free. I wasn’t sure that would be the case with so many people in the cafe today. I push through the crowd and set down my messenger bag, on the chair and settle into the corner of the love seat, pulling out my phone so I don’t inadvertently make eye contact with any students. To be more accurate, I’m using my phone to avoid accidental interactions with any of my students. I’ve seen some of them here several weeks in a row. So far, we have an unspoken truce. They don’t approach me, and I don’t approach them. We basically ignore that we’re all here together separately.

I’m so engrossed in pretending to focus on my phone that I practically shriek when something tickles my neck. Then warm lips nibble behind my ear, and I grin, slipping my fingers into Bjorn’s beard for a quick caress. “Hello, handsome.” The tickle must have been from his facial hair.

“You smell good, babe.” He runs his nose into my hair, and I close my eyes, leaning into him. The snickers of nearby students yank me out of my happy little world and back into reality. “Kaino still in class?”

“Mmm.” Bjorn walks around the loveseat and plops down next to me. Several of the nearby students openly ogle him, and I glare menacingly until they mind their own business. “They should be here soon, though.”

Bjorn turns to look at the counter. “The line’s pretty short. I’ll go get our drinks. You stay here and wait for Kaino.”

He stands, and I raise an eyebrow at him. “Are you asking me or telling me?” I’m only half-teasing. Controlling a situation is a bit of a default setting for Bjorn, and while it can be exciting in the bedroom, and arguably necessary when I’m overreacting a tiny bit, this is neither of those situations.

“Shit. Sorry.” He leans down and kisses me softly. “I meant it as a suggestion. How about I go get our drinks while you keep our seats? Like that.”

He does look very contrite, so I forgive him. “Thank you. And it’s probably a good idea before the line gets longer. I’ll have my usual, and Kaino would like a green tea today. Nothing in it.” Bjorn kisses me one more time before weaving his way to the counter. I’ve just settled back into the cushions when white-blond hair catches my eye. Kaino pushes past a rowdy group of students gathering backpacks and coats and finally makes it to me, a little wide-eyed.

“That was like running a gauntlet. I feel like I should get some kind of reward for making it through alive.”

I smirk up at them. “What would you want that to be?”

In a surprise move, they take my hand and place the softest, sweetest kiss against my palm. “That would be my prize.”

I blink up at them, slightly stunned at the physical contact, as well as the public affection. It’s definitely less demonstrative than Bjorn was, but for Kaino it seems like so much, and I’m flattered. “It’s a good prize.”

They turn, dropping into the empty space beside me. “Sorry I’m late. There was a guest speaker, and the class had lots of questions. But it was fascinating, so I didn’t mind much. Except I knew you and Bjorn were here waiting.” They glance around, and I automatically do the same, catching the eye of the students who’d tittered when Bjorn had kissed my neck. Several of them are openly watching us, and one actually grins, giving me a thumbs up and a wink. I quickly look away, unease settling in my stomach. Did they see Kaino kissing my palm? They can obviously see him sitting closer than a friend normally would. Do they assume we’re all together? What if this gets back to the provost? “Where is Bjorn?”

I gesture toward the counter. “Getting drinks.”

“I’m back with drinks.” He walks around the love seat and sets them on the small table in front of us. “You stole my seat.” He leans close to Kaino. “Is it okay to kiss you?” Kaino nods and Bjorn kisses them on the lips, lingering when they bring their hand up to cup Bjorn’s face. As they part, both are smiling. “Someone’s in a good mood, and I like it.”

Kaino’s cheeks pink, and they roll their eyes. “What can I say? You both make me happy.” They reach for their tea and blow into the mug. “I’ve also been replaying Saturday night in my head.”

“It was epic.” Bjorn’s grin is equal parts lecherous and proud. “I can’t stop thinking about it either. We should definitely do that again. The sex and intimacy part, definitely. Also the showering. But maybe we can save the bossy thing for special occasions. Don’t get me wrong, it was hot, but I’m not sure I’d like a steady diet of that.”

I’m about to ask them to keep their voices down when there’s a gasp from my right. I wince internally. “Perhaps we can discuss this when we’re not within earshot of students, some of whom take my class.”

Bjorn ducks his head. “Whoops. Sorry. I probably should have asked about kissing you first, too.”

“Noted. On both counts.” Kaino looks between us, then frowns. “We haven’t really talked much about that. We probably should have assumed a need to keep things quiet here, especially since Xander works for the school. Should we change our location in the future to someplace further from campus?”

I shake my head. “No. I know that sounds contradictory, but I’m not embarrassed by either of you or our relationship. Nor do I think it’s wrong, or any of the other negative opinions people might have about polyamory.” It still feels odd claiming that designation, but that’s what this is. And I suppose I’m trying it out. “I refuse to be shamed. What I am suggesting, please and thank you, is that we keep discussions about the specifics of our relationship to a more private place, especially with students eavesdropping.” I stare at one such student, a freshman if I’m not mistaken, who has her phone out, attempting to snap a picture or record us surreptitiously. I clear my throat loudly, and when she looks up, she quickly puts the phone away. “If that ends up on social media, I’ll be speaking with the dean of your program.” She gathers her things and scrambles towards the door, her friends in tow.

Frowning, Kaino follows them with their eyes until the students are out the door. “Will that be a problem?”

Isn’t that the million dollar question. My indignation at being told how to behave and who I can love is in direct conflict with my knowledge that the head of my department, someone with some influence over my tenure, is a bigot. Damn. “I’m not hiding us. Do I want our relationship plastered all over social media? Not really. Especially when it’s so new and we’re still figuring things out. But we’ve already been here for fifteen minutes, kissed each other with more than platonic intensity, and discussed our sexual escapades as if they were any random topic like the weather or current events. It’s likely that at least one of my students has pictures or videos of us, and they’ve probably been shared on social media or via text about a hundred times by now. That will have multiplied exponentially by the time we leave. Even if we wanted it, we’re no secret. The cat’s out of the proverbial bag.” I shrug. “This isn’t some backward-thinking, conservative campus. We might be the hot gossip for a few days, a week at most, but I have every confidence they’ll get over it when something else happens. And something is always happening on campus.” And I hope it happens soon.

“Fair enough. But we really should think of this as a work-adjacent space for you.” Bjorn pins us with a serious look and leans forward, elbows on knees. “I want to ask you both something. I know it may seem a little fast, but things are good between us, right? And I don’t want to hide us either.” My heart rate picks up and I stare at Bjorn, wondering where he’s going with this. “So, I’m thinking you both should come to dinner this Sunday.”

My heart is still racing, but this time it’s with excitement. Well, it’s mostly excitement. I’m also a bit nervous. No matter what Bjorn thinks, telling his family is a big step. If that’s why he’s inviting us. “As…” At his confused look, I clarify. “You think we should come to dinner this Sunday as what? Friends or more than friends?”

He visibly relaxes. “Oh, definitely more than friends. As my partners. I want to tell them about us.” I can feel excitement pouring off of him, and that’s encouraging. Why bother telling family if you don’t plan to stick around? Which means he’s serious about making this work, and I can’t hide my grin. Then I remember prior family dinners, where Gunnar and Bjorn went at each other. It wasn’t pleasant. “Are you sure? You said everyone will be fine with it, but I’d hate to be the cause of tension between you and your siblings.”

Bjorn smirks. “You mean between me and Gunnar.”

There’s no point in denying it. “Well, yes. I don’t know Erik, but from what I remember of Astrid, I think she’ll be alright. Gunnar’s the only wild card in the mix.”

“Astrid will be fine with it, and so will her boyfriend, Gary. And Erik and his fiancé, Jules, aren’t going to care either. But I get why you’d think it might be an issue with Gunnar. Pretty much everything used to be an issue between us. But we’re much better now. Actually, he’s already suggested the three of us get together, so he’s definitely not going to be an issue. In fact, I can guarantee he’ll be happy for me. And you’ll love his boyfriend, Jocelin.”

Kaino clears their throat. “I already know Jocelin well. One of my clients and good friends, Tadhg Byrne, is a close friend of his. As is Jules. Actually, Jules is Tadgh’s boyfriend’s best friend.” They laugh. “How many times can I work the word friend into a conversation?” They shrug. “I’ve never met Astrid or Erik, but that’s by pure coincidence, as they’re also part of that friend collective. Gunnar probably is as well, though I’m guessing that’s a relatively new development since I haven’t heard about it yet. So it’s probably time I met them anyway.”

I’m a bit thrown by the information. That’s a lot of the players that Kaino already knows. Then again, I know most of the immediate family, so maybe it all balances out. “And you’re sure Gunnar won’t be an issue?” I’m pushing, but I’ve witnessed the blowups.

Bjorn reaches across the little table and takes my hand, giving it a squeeze. “I promise. He’ll be fine. He’s come a long way since you last saw him. And yeah, we still have our disagreements now and then, but not about this.” Bjorn’s prior sunny disposition is gone, replaced with a scowl. “My injury triggered his PTSD, and things got pretty bad. We made it through, but it was a wake-up call for him, and he knew he needed help. So he’s back in therapy, getting it.” He drags his free hand through his hair, leaving strands sticking up every which way. On him, it still looks sexy.

“That’s good, isn’t it?” Kaino looks as confused as I feel by Bjorn’s reaction.

“Yeah. I just worry about him. He always seems to pick the toughest path, when the easy one is right there. It’s like he purposely ignores it to prove some point. I try to help, but too often, it makes things worse, not better.” He snorts. “I’m working on butting out . The results are mixed. Sometimes, I can’t seem to help myself and fall back into parent mode.”

I give his hand a squeeze before I drop it so he can sit back in his chair. “Bjorn, and I say this with the utmost affection, that’s not parent mode. Not really. It’s a control thing. And I completely understand why that’s your default. You had to take on a lot of responsibility at a very young age, and you didn’t have anyone you could rely on to pick up the slack. You had to be in charge to keep your family together and moving forward. But you don’t need to do that anymore.” I lean into Kaino and grin. “You have us now.”

Kaino clears their throat. “If I could make a suggestion, there might be something else to help when your stress gets to be too much. An alternative to trying to control everyone and then blowing up and yelling when things don’t go the way you envision.”

Bjorn nods. “Therapy. Yeah, I’m actually back in therapy myself because of the stabbing. Just a few sessions for evaluation. It’s a work requirement. Only because I haven’t told them I’m leaving yet. But I’m not opposed to talking things out with a therapist.”

Kaino shakes their head. “Something other than therapy.” They casually glance around, checking for eavesdroppers, and I have a strong suspicion I know what their solution is.

Bjorn notices as well and now looks intrigued. “Like what?”

“Rope.” That’s all they say, and yes, anyone actually following the conversation might figure out what they mean, but someone paying less attention would probably miss it.

A string of emotions passes across Bjorn’s face, starting with incredulity and ending with interest. “How would that help?”

“It changes the power dynamic. You wouldn’t be in charge, I would. You would be restrained. Immobile.”

That brings Bjorn up short. “I’m not sure I like that idea.”

Kaino nods. “It can be daunting. But we could start slowly. Just tie your hands or your ankles. Eventually, we could work up to more, if you want. Or, if you decide it’s not for you, we stop. The point would be to see if it helps, not to force you to do something that you don’t like.”

Bjorn still looks skeptical. “I don’t know.”

Kaino shrugs like it’s not a big deal. “Think about it. I don’t have a coil of rope in my pocket that I’m planning to whip out and tie you with right here in the middle of the cafe. You have time.”

I lean close and run my finger over the wrist cuff they’re wearing. “Technically, you could use this.” A few weeks ago, I’d asked why they wear it all the time, and they’d demonstrated its actual purpose.

“What is it?” Bjorn takes Kaino’s hand and examines the leather bracelet.

I grin. “It’s called The Secret Wrist Cuff.” I nudge Kaino. “Show him.”

Kaino shakes their head. “Not here.” They turn back to Bjorn. “When looped back on itself, it converts to a set of handcuffs.”

I waggle my eyebrows. “Perfect for daytime, or playtime.”

Bjorn laughs. “That’s clever. You should message the company and tell them to use it as the slogan.”

“It is their slogan. I read it on Mister Pierre’s website.” Kaino raises their eyebrows so high it makes me laugh. “What?”

“You went to the website?”

I shrug. “I wanted to see what they had.”

They grin wickedly. “And what did you think?”

I fan myself. “Some of the clothing is… Well, let’s call it inspiring.”

Bjorn laughs, pulls out his phone and in less than a minute he’s scrolling, his eyes darkening with arousal at whatever is on his screen. “Oh, I see a shopping trip in my future.” He glances up from his phone, pinning me with a heated stare. “Xander, you’d look incredible in any of this.”

“I really would. But so would the both of you.”

Kaino grins and nudges me with their shoulder, keeping their voice low. “Behave, brat.” They turn back to Bjorn. “Anyway, back to my suggestion. It’s just that. Something to think about.”

The idea of the wrist cuff restraint is exciting to me, but imagining myself immobilized by rope sends spikes of anxiety through me, and I know I wouldn’t like it. “I’d be okay with having my wrists or ankles tied, but anything more is a hard no.”

Kaino strokes their long fingers over my wrist, and I shiver as pleasure zings along my nerves. “Then we won’t do anything more. And you can change your mind at any time, either way. Thank you for telling me, Kit.”

I want to lean in and kiss them, tease into their mouth with the tip of my tongue, but I don’t because of where we are. Bjorn clears his throat, and we turn back to him. “Anyway, yes, I’ll think about it. Now, back to dinner on Sunday. Will you come?”

It’s an obvious redirect of the conversation, but I’m willing to go with it. As Kaino said, no decisions need to be made right now. “I’ll be there. Can I bring anything?”

“Besides your gorgeous self? No. Thanks for offering, but we’ve been doing this for so long that we have it down to a science now.” Bjorn turns hopeful eyes on Kaino. “How about you?”

“I’ll be there.” They wink at Bjorn. “And I’ll bring some rope, just in case.”