Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty-Five

Starling

I lose myself for a moment, surprised by his reaction, before I yank myself free and stumble backward.

"Starling," he warns me. When he takes another step forward, I back up.

Movement over his shoulder draws my attention. Two well-dressed men stand watching me like I'm some interesting bug they'd like to dissect. I shiver and look away. Seems crazy loves company.

"Where the fuck have you been?"

I blink and look up at him. "Why do you care?"

"Answer me," he bellows.

I'm about to reach my bullshit limit, finally. "Fuck you, Hudson," I spit.

He's on me before I can move, pinning me to the wall, executing his favorite move.

"Now what? You gonna choke me? Fuck me? Hurt me? Go ahead. I don't care anymore." I feel exhaustion weighing on me, and it has nothing to do with being up all night or out all day.

"Why would I hurt you?" he snaps. He doesn't say he wouldn't, though.

I burst out laughing, surprising us both. I see the men behind him move closer. "Ah, you're going to get them to hurt me instead. That's an interesting twist."

I try to ignore the wounded butterflies fluttering in my stomach, desperate for freedom.

"They won't touch you."

"Right," I whisper. "Just you, right? Whenever and wherever." I sigh, looking toward the window, wishing I could escape from this place I never should have returned to.

"Do you have any fucking idea how worried I was?"

"Why? Did you think I was fucking Abbot? You don't need to worry about that. You got exactly what you wanted."

"What I wanted was you."

"Well, congratulations, you win. Did you want to bend me over the counter now or wait until they leave?" I ask, my voice flat, because fuck him. Fuck them all. I'm so damn tired of being everyone's emotional punching bag.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" he asks me.

I just laugh. "What's wrong with me? You. You're what's wrong with me."

"Well, wife, you'd better find a way to deal with it because, for better or worse, you aren't going anywhere, and neither am I."

"Yeah, sure. Just call me Rapunzel and lock me away. I'll even grow my hair."

He releases me and steps back, rubbing his hand over his face. "Who was in the car?"

"Huh?" I frown, confused.

"The car that brought you home. Who the fuck was in the car?"

"Why?"

"So I know who the fuck to kill."

I feel the blood drain from my face, along with all my bravado. "Can't you just kill me instead? Seems like everyone would be better off without me."

"You fucking someone else?"

I drag my nails through my hair in frustration, the urge to scream at the top of my lungs overwhelming me.

"I'd tell him, kitten, before he really loses his mind," the one man says.

"You can't lose what you don't have. And don't call me kitten," I sigh.

"I like her."

"Fuck off, Kenzo. You can go now."

"Oh, no. This is just getting interesting."

The other guy remains silent, watching me in a cooly detached way.

I drag my eyes away from him and look at Hudson. "Her name's Kate. She's fifteen. I held her hand as she told her mom that her mom's boyfriend had been raping her. If you touch her, I'll kill you in your sleep. I don't give a fuck if I'm signing my own death warrant."

His chest is heaving, but my words loosen the tension in his body, the confusion swirling in his eyes. "Why didn't you just tell me?" he asks, exasperated, like I'm the problem.

"Hudson, you're under the mistaken impression that I trust you. I don't. Why would I tell you anything when you'll just use it against me?"

The other one finally speaks up. "So she calls you Hudson huh? Interesting." His eyes move over me, but his blank expression doesn't change. "You're much mouthier than I thought you'd be."

"I figured I have nothing left to lose."

"Oh, honey, there's always more."

"What could you possibly do to me that I haven't already survived?"

He cocks his head.

"Atlas, don't," Hudson warns him.

So this is the big boss, huh? Maybe I'll get lucky, and he'll put me out of my misery.

"You really don't want to play with us, little girl. We're way out of your league," Atlas says.

"Then tell your man to back the fuck off and leave me alone."

"You married him. You made your choice."

"I protected his son. I figured one of us should."

"You're looking for good men in all the wrong places."

I look at the three of them and burst out laughing in disbelief. "I know bad men. And the moment I laid my eyes on Hudson, I knew he was trouble. And I know you two are just as bad." I shake my head. "I had no illusions about who he was, even when he welcomed us into his home." Looking for good men, ha. The only good man I know is the one I sacrificed myself for.

He looks at Hudson, who hasn't taken his eyes off me. "She's stronger than I thought. Maybe she'll make it after all. We'll leave, but we need to talk later about what happened this morning and what to do next."

"Would you like me to leave so you can have your secret bad guy talk?" I ask sweetly.

His lips twitch, but he just nods at Hudson and heads out. The Kenzo guy, the one that kept calling me "kitten" and watching us like we were in a telenovela, steps closer and holds out his hand for me.

I suck in a surprised breath when I see my razor blade in his palm.

"He was worried. Whatever happened, whatever you think you know?—"

"Kenzo, just leave it," Hudson sighs.

Kenzo ignores him, his eyes on me as he places the razor blade in my hand. "He lets you call him by his real name."

He closes my hand around the blade. "He left his wife and kids and never looked back. He left them, but he won't leave you." He scans my face as he leans closer. "He didn't know where you were today, and he was worried. I've never seen him worried before. He just doesn't care enough about anyone or anything."

"Kenzo," Atlas calls.

This time, Kenzo listens and leaves with one last glance at me. He walks out and closes the door behind him.

Hudson hasn't moved. He's still standing there staring at me, his hands fisted at his side like he's frozen in place.

"Hudson?"

"I don't want to hurt you," he grits out.

"Then don't. Let's just get this marriage annulled and?—"

He moves then, pressing his body against mine. "You're not leaving me. You're mine. What do I have to do to convince you to stay?"

"Stop hurting me!" I shout. "Stop making me cry. Stop scaring me. Just stop," I sob.

His hands move to cup my face before he kisses me, softly. He's coaxing rather than claiming, and I find myself responding to him despite my reservations.

When he feels the fight leave me, he pulls back. "Why did you tell Abbot without me here?"

I shake my head. "I didn't. This did." I hold my hand up so he can see my tattoo.

He closes his eyes and groans. "I fucked up. I'm sorry."

I jolt at that, not expecting an apology at all. Shrugging, I look away. "We knew it would happen. You banked on it. He hates me now, so I guess that makes you happy."

"I guess so," he replies. "I really don't want to hurt you, but I lose my mind around you. I can't think straight. If you felt what I feel, you'd get it, but?—"

"I don't," I finish for him in a whisper.

"Maybe not now, but you will."

"You don't get it, Hudson. You see Abbot as your competition. I see him as my best friend. You ruined that. I love exactly one person, and you took him away."

"Because I want to be the one you love," he snaps.

"Then you shouldn't have made me hate you." I swallow and turn my head back, my eyes looking up into his. "I pressed this against my wrist," I tell him, holding up the razor blade for him to take.

He curses, pulling me in again and holding me tighter as he takes the razor blade.

"I fought too hard for this life for you to come in and destroy it."

"Okay."

I look up and frown. "Okay, you'll let me go?"

"Never," he answers vehemently. "But I can show you all the reasons why you should stay."

I want to scream and yell and pound my fists against his chest until I can't anymore, but I know his answer won't change. All I can do is change my expectations. He has the power to make my time here heaven or hell. I just need to swallow my pride and hold on until I hear back from the colleges.

"Alright, show me."

He leans in to kiss me again, but I press my finger to his lips.

"Just give me a moment to catch my breath. I won't leave, I just need a little space."

"And then?"

"And then I won't fight you anymore."

I stand in the doorway of Abbot's room, staring at the bed. It's been two days since Hudson agreed to give me space. Two days of turbulent thoughts and self-reprimands.

And now here I am, staring at a bed that hasn't been slept in for days, not feeling any stronger or wiser than I did before.

A growl from beside me makes me jump as Hudson wraps his hand around my arm and pulls me away.

"You thinking about?—"

"Don't. Seriously, don't say anything. I like you much better when you keep your mouth shut." I yank my arm free and stomp downstairs.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

I whirl around as soon as I reach the bottom step. "It means every time you open your mouth, I want to kill you. I can't be the only person you have that effect on."

"I'm usually the one doing the killing," he mutters.

I frown. "What?"

"Nothing."

With my hands on my hips, I take a deep breath, reminding myself that in a few months, I'll be off to college and can put all this behind me.

"I was looking in his room to see if there were any signs he had come back. I'm worried about him, okay? You might not give a fuck, but I do."

"I didn't say I didn't care."

I raise my brow as he storms past.

"Fine, I don't care. He made you cry."

"You make me cry," I point out, refusing to be swayed by his comment.

"I'm trying to do better."

"It's been a couple days since the last time, and the day's still young."

He runs his hands through his hair. "Look, I want this to work. I didn't marry you as punishment, despite what you think. I want this—you and me." He gestures between us.

"Why?"

He steps closer, tucking my hair behind my ear. "Because the moment I saw you, I knew you were meant to be mine."

"I'm not a possession, Hudson," I whisper.

"Why not? I am. You fucking own me."

He presses his forehead against mine, and I let him. He seems so young in this moment, unburdened by life and all its responsibilities. I can almost picture what he must have been like back when he was my age.

"What did Kenzo mean before when he said you let me call you by your real name?"

"Most people call me Pete, but you're not most people. I knew that from the start."

I don't bother asking him why he goes by another name, even though I'm curious. Something tells me I'm better off not knowing.

"Have lunch with me."

I pull back at the random change of subject and look up at him. "I have school."

"I'll pick you up and drop you back off."

I bite my lip, considering.

"Come on, it has to be better than cafeteria food."

It's not the food I'm thinking of. If I have lunch with Hudson, it's with Hudson, but if I stay at school, it'll be without Abbot there to act as my buffer.

"Okay."

"Really?" A big smile spreads across his face, transforming him.

I'm stunned, to be honest. I'm used to the moody asshole or the sneering bastard. A smile isn't something I see on him often, but fuck me…

Oh, dear God. Am I attracted to my husband?

As dumb as it sounds, I haven't let myself think about his looks before because of Abbot. But with that relationship over, it's like the blindfold has been ripped off.

"Yeah, lunch sounds good."

He presses his lips against my head, and I can't help but smile. Maybe this won't be so bad after all. Yeah, I don't believe that for a second, but sometimes the lies we tell ourselves help us function when everything around us is falling apart.

"Thank you. Now let's get you to school so I can get some work done before lunch."

I nod, grabbing my bag and slipping it over my shoulder. "I'm ready."

He drives me to school, and we make small talk about the weather. Dare I say it, it all feels so normal. Normal is what I wanted, right? So why does it feel so strange?

The closer we get to school, the worse it gets. Maybe it has more to do with today being my first day back since getting married. And my first day without Abbot. I hide my unease, though I know he sees me tense when we pull into the parking lot.

"If you have any issues, you call me."

"You can't fight my battles for me here, Hudson."

"Fucking watch me." He kisses me quickly before winking.

I shake my head as I get out of the car and steel my spine. "Showtime," I mumble to myself.

I don't look back, even though I know Hudson's still there, watching me walk in.

Thankfully, I make it through the doors without incident. I head to my locker and open it. Hundreds of condoms fall out all over the floor. The students around me look and laugh, but I just stare at them and shrug. I guess I won't be using my locker today.

I bend down and pick up a condom off the floor just as Claire and her crew strut toward me like the mean girls in every high school cliché movie.

"Tsk, tsk, bringing your work to school now, Slutling?"

I roll my eyes. "Slutling? That's the best you've got? I mean, it seems I really overestimated your intelligence. Don't worry, though. I won't make that mistake again. Wait, do you need me to say all that again, but slower?"

A few snickers sound, but Claire looks like she wants to rip my throat out. It's funny how, a year ago, I would have shuffled away and hidden. But now, after dealing with Hudson, I realize Claire is nothing but a weak bitch.

I slap the condom against her chest. "Thanks, but keep them for your boyfriend. They're way too small for mine." With that, I walk around her and head to my first class, so over high school.

The rest of my morning is uneventful, thankfully. But as lunchtime approaches, my stomach knots with nerves. When the bell rings, I pack my bag and head to the main doors.

"Yo, Starling. Wait up."

I turn at the sound of Hayden's voice and stop.

"You know where Abbot is?"

I shake my head. "Sorry. We had a fight, and I haven't seen him since."

He rubs his forehead in frustration. "Coach is pissed. We have a game tomorrow, and we need him."

"I'll try calling him again, but he hasn't been answering. I don't know how much help I'll be."

"Alright, thanks, Starling." He jogs away, and I turn and head out.

Hudson pulls up in front of the school just as I step outside. When he stops the car, I open the door and climb in.

"Hi."

"Hey, how was school?"

I look at him and laugh. "How is it not weird for you to say that?"

"Oh, it's weird; I just don't give a fuck."

I shake my head and smile as Hudson pulls away from the curb, and I gaze out the window. A pang of guilt hits me when I think of Abbot and what he's doing.

"So, where are we going to eat?"

He chuckles, the sound coming out oddly nervous, making me look over at him.

"I thought we could eat at the park. I packed us a picnic."

My mouth drops open before I can stop it.

"That okay?"

I'm not sure who this version of Hudson is, but I'll take it. The man packed me a freaking picnic.

"I've never been on a real picnic before."

"Me either. I'm glad I get to do it with you."