Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

ALINA

K aia had been calling her into the command center after breakfast triage to do absolutely nothing except sit in the observation pit. Orion and Kaia hung around the command center a lot, monitoring the "proceedings." Alina could see the way Threxin bristled even as he tolerated their presence. It was never explicitly verbalized in front of her, but Alina got the sense that he had delegated management of humans on the ship to Orion, and she supposed that meant letting him maintain some level of access.

Kaia never asked Alina for anything during this observation time, so Alina spent it listening to Threxin and the red uhyre gurgle at each other. After a while, she thought she could even deduce some words. Kaia would dismiss her after an hour or two, at which point Alina would report to the rear dock for Ariel scrubbing under the icy glowing glares of the guards.

Today she had a day off at the dock, so the only thing she'd had to do was deliver Kaia her meals, see if she needed anything, and then coop up in her cabin. It hadn't gone well. With nothing to do but distract herself with Old Earth sitcoms, Alina spent her time cleaning and rearranging her cabin.

She looked at the freshly dusted empty shelf over her bed. With a sigh, she began picking up the Old Earth-themed trinkets she'd piled atop the mattress, placing them one by one back onto the shelf in renewed configurations. She grabbed the colorful cube made up of many smaller squares—a pivoting puzzle where you had to make each side the same color. Instead of putting it away, she fidgeted.

Alina had already tried to go to the medbay for her weekly appointment with Dr. Pertin two days ago and was promptly told to fuck off and get back to her quarters. Of course, she realized too late, with their NS disabled he wouldn't have been able to perform a neuroadjustment regardless.

The vile uhyre patrols had let her deliver breakfast and dinner to Kaia outside the command center, seemingly amused by the triviality of the assignment. They thought she was just a glorified food fetcher. They just didn't understand the nuances of this kind of work and how important it was.

And of course they'd let her into the rear dock for scrub work— someone had to do it. But all other movement was limited, with people forced to stay in their quarters unless strictly necessary. She'd had to grab her own meals at the same time as Kaia's, since they weren't about to let her into the canteen again for herself. Really though, who'd want to spend any more time in the halls teeming with monster aliens than they absolutely had to?

When her door chimed, Alina flinched, staring. Was this it? Was she finally going to get sent down to the CRD because she wasn't important enough?

Alina glanced at the outside feed projected on the door.

What the…

She unlocked it, revealing Dr. Pertin himself in the doorway as if psychically summoned. He looked tense with his tablet held tight at his hip. Behind him, a female uhyre stood with narrowed skin slits.

"Dr. Pertin?" Alina stopped fidgeting with the rainbow cube. "What are you doing here?"

He cleared his throat and glanced back at the uhyre, who followed him into Alina's cabin with a clatter of armor. "They… uh… told me to make cabin calls for my most… relevant patients."

The female behind him scoffed in time with the door hissing shut. An uhyre presence crowded in Alina's tiny cabin made her arm hairs stand on end.

"So that your kind does not snap with psychosis like several on your other deck have," the uhyre droned.

The other deck?

Common Residence Deck , she realized. Shit, what was it like down there with an extra few hundred bodies cramped into the space? Were they also under strict guard, or was it a free-for-all down there?

Alina wrung her hands, glancing between the doctor and the alien looming behind him. Dr. Pertin cleared his throat again, wavering. "So how are you feeling, Alina?"

She gaped at him, unblinking. Were they really expecting to do her session like this? Under the barrel of a gun held by a monster? And how was telling him how she was feeling supposed to help anyway?

He's just trying his best.

"Umm… It's been a tough week, I guess…" she said, looking down into her lap.

"So it has."

"I… I've been taking care of Kaia and…" Alina set her jaw, resolving not to act as pathetic as she felt just then. She was stressed and scared and needed something to manage it. She looked up, meeting Dr. Pertin's calm gaze and avoiding looking at the seemingly bored uhyre standing off to the side. How did he manage to stay so calm during all this? "I think I'd like to take you up on that Harmonapam prescription now. I know I said I didn't want meds before, but this is… it's different now."

Dr. Pertin sighed, apparently unsurprised. "Since the… arrival … the ship's instructing us to ration anxiety and blood pressure medication, Alina."

"Uhyre get anxiety?" she blurted out, realizing maybe it wasn't an appropriate question in the presence of one.

Dr. Pertin's grip on his tablet tightened. "All the humans now stuck here and threatened with being vented out to space do."

The uhyre made a scoffing sound through her sharp teeth, armor clanking together as she shifted.

Shit. Alina had been so obsessed with her own problems that she'd missed the obvious. Of course there'd be others who needed the meds more than her. She was asking for extra resources as if she were so entitled that she didn't even think about everyone else dealing with all this.

She stood so suddenly that the uhyre jerked her weapon to attention. Alina held both palms out in a show of terrified deference. "I'm sorry. I completely understand. I didn't mean to bother you, I?—"

"Alina, I came to bother you , remember?" Dr. Pertin tried to soothe her even as the uhyre moved to leave the room, clicking her tongue for him to follow like the horses she'd seen in Old Earth cowboy vids. "I'll see what I can do about the medication."

"No," Alina blurted, shaking her head. "I don't want it."

It was a bad idea anyway. She'd never used Harmonapam before, and she didn't need to start now. It was just a moment of weakness that made her ask for it. She hadn't been thinking.

Dr. Pertin sighed. "You will practice the coping strategies we've learned in the meantime, yes?"

Alina's cheeks reddened at making this whole doctor look at her like he was worried about her, when there were much bigger things to think about.

"Say yes, Alina," Dr. Pertin instructed.

"Yes."

Alina was still kicking herself on her way to the canteen to pick up Kaia's breakfast that day. At least the place was empty, the previous shift having already started and there not being enough residents on this deck anymore to see much of anyone between shift changes or customary breaks.

That was good. It meant Alina was free to mutter to herself as much as she wanted as her mistake replayed in her head like a vid on loop. "God, how whiny can you get?" she groaned under her breath as she picked up the styrofoam box from the auto-dispenser in the canteen. "What an idiot."

She slammed the box onto the counter as she scrolled through condiment options. Kaia only liked one thing with her meals: salt, and lots of it. Not many things came salted these days. They were rationing and salt was for rich people. Colossal was rich, just not "unlimited supply of salt for the masses" rich. But Kaia was the commander's wife, and her salt rations were as good as unlimited.

Alina chimed her bracelet against the dispenser. She had to fall back to hardware when Threxin disabled all the NS comms. But unlike the happy chime she'd almost started getting used to, this time her salt order was met with a resounding orange protest.

"Commander's proxy authentication invalid."

Huh?

Alina sighed and tried again, rubbing the bridge of her nose between thumb and forefinger. She hadn't had her caffeine shot yet. She was probably missing something.

When orange denial flickered again, Alina flailed her wrist against the scanner with an exasperated groan. "Come on ."

"You are not the commander's proxy."

She spun toward the guttural voice behind her. She was faced with a wall of uhyre mere inches away, her back crashing into the dispenser as she jumped back with a strangled cry.

For the first moments all her brain could do was scream alien . Sure, she'd had to navigate the halls with these monsters for the past week, but she always sat and steeled herself for twenty fucking minutes before going out there. Now she was up to two unexpected encounters up close in one day.

Alina's rabid pulse sent a steady stream of escalating panic to her head. Her limbs were heavy lead, numb at her sides. She was trapped—her limbs, her lungs. All of her. Air wouldn't come no matter how hard she reached for it, and she was reaching —she heard her own labored attempts to suck oxygen through the blood pounding in her ears. If she screamed, would anyone hear her? She hadn't seen a canteen attendant anywhere. They were probably all down at the CRD. Or dead. Or… fuck.

Calm the fuck down.

"Threxin. I mean, C… Commander," she stammered as the alien's tilt of the head sparked recognition. She recalled those slashes beneath both cheekbones, with their crisp edges and their cyan inner fire that melded with the glow of sharp predator eyes. The several rows of spikes protruding from his skull were almost familiar.

His eyes narrowed, skin slits widening slightly in contrast. His analyzing gaze moved from her eyes to the sweat beading on her forehead, then the rest of her face. It paused at her neck, the scrutiny kicking up her already frenzied pulse. What was he looking at?

"You are not the commander's proxy," he repeated, regarding her with the superiority one might afford an Old Earth insect beneath one's shoe.

"I…" Shit, he was right. The privileges and rations she'd been using for Kaia were intended for the commander and immediate family. And Kaia was not that anymore. Not for now at least. "It worked yesterday…"

"I corrected."

He instructed the ship to stop giving Kaia and Orion special treatment, he means .

"Oh. Of course…" Alina's throat made a dry clicking sound as she swallowed. He was still too close, and the canteen too empty, but at least her head was catching up with the situation and she was finding a way to string words together.

She took three deep breaths, like Dr. Pertin had taught her. Well, he taught her to take ten, but she didn't have time for that with an uhyre staring at her throat.

"I'm sorry," she said. "You're right. I'll just get this breakfast ration over to Kaia."

"She never accepts your offerings," he said.

Alina wished he'd just drop it and move. "She's… distracted. But she needs to eat."

Which led Alina to her next question, one she'd wondered about. She really shouldn't even be asking now and instead ending this conversation as fast as humanly possible. But she had already made plenty of stupid decisions today. What was another one? "Do you eat? I never… I never see you eat."

The alien grunted. "I am here, am I not? Your food is…" He searched for words, eyes rolling up to the ceiling. "Disgusting."

Well then .

The food on Colossal was pretty damn good actually, thank you very much. But maybe breakfast bagels and wraps weren't much to an uhyre's tastes.

"You know," Alina chanced. "The canteen has some really boring, standard stuff. There are cafes and other places to eat. If you wanted to try some real food, I mean. If they're… still open. But whatever, I don't know… If you… I…"

The blank stare he gave her as she spoke derailed her train of thought completely, and Alina realized how stupid she was being again . What was wrong with her? Suggesting food for the uhyre who just took over their ship, killed a bunch of people, and threatened to kill the rest, was not part of her itinerary. She wasn't meant to be feeding the occupier.

Threxin was already dismissing her with a flick of his talons and a head tilt. "Go away."

Gladly .

Alina snatched Kaia's breakfast box from the counter and scurried from the canteen.

Kaia was looking worse, and Alina practically shoved the breakfast in her hands when she rounded the corner to the command center.

"He's not here yet," she said in a hushed voice, hoping that meant Kaia could relax and eat.

"How do you know?" Orion Halen asked, glancing at the closed doors of the command center.

"I just saw him at the canteen."

Kaia and Orion exchanged glances as Kaia took the food. The way the overhead lighting hit her face at that angle accentuated the blue shadows under her eyes and her sunken cheekbones. She'd gained so much strength and muscle since she'd arrived on Colossal , but now Alina saw the shadow of that bony malnourished girl she'd met when Kaia first arrived. How could that happen in just a week of occupation ?

"You should go to the medbay and get checked out, Mrs. Halena," Alina suggested. Her gaze slid up to Orion. "And you should make her."

She wasn't used to being so forceful with those in authority, but this was ridiculous. Kaia's husband, the rightful commander , should be caring for his wife, and his wife looked like crap.

Orion Halen's nostrils flared at the insinuation, but Kaia put a hand on his as he began to step forward.

"I'm fine," she said, offering a small smile.

"You're not though, Kaia. Clearly?—"

"Alina." The smile was gone now, and Kaia's eyes flashed in that way that was creepily reminiscent of her husband. "I said I'm fine. If I want further medical advice, you'll be the first I call. But good job on noting the uhyre's whereabouts and reporting back. Keep doing that. It's… it's important."

"Yes, ma'am," Alina said flatly, following the pair into the command center and taking her seat in the observation pit to the side.

The day was all wrong from the start . From the embarrassing surprise therapy appointment, which she was still trying to get over, to offering restaurant suggestions to the invader, to giving unsolicited advice to her charge and pissing off her part-alien husband by insinuating he wasn't taking care of her.

Alina had screwed up at every turn, and it wasn't even 0700 yet. She just needed to get herself under control. That clearly meant not trying to speak to anyone because every time she had, she'd put her damn foot in her mouth.

Alina sat there and wondered if she could convince the uhyre to let her take up her laundry shifts again. Maybe then she'd get to talk to some of her friends. She needed to do something useful with herself or she'd go stir-crazy.

Yeah, like you're so special. Everyone had to be going stir-crazy these days .

Alina tensed as Threxin entered the command center. She cringed as his cold gaze paused on her before he folded his massive form into the commander's seat. He probably thought she was so dumb with her food advice.

Just think about something else.

So Alina made plans. When Kaia dismissed her, she'd use up her daily water ration to make a cup of cultured mint tea back in her cabin. She'd bundle herself into a heavy blanket in bed and put on Guy Meets Girl , an Old Earth "sitcom" about a bunch of kids growing up together. It had been a comfort watch that helped get her mind off things ever since she was a kid sneaking in an episode or two between errands. If that stopped working, she'd go straight to the dock and pick up an extra shift.