11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Leigh

L eigh was only half awake, but even in his sleepy state, he knew he wanted this— Tolly and the comforting weight atop his hips while they kissed much more deeply than they had when Tolly saved him from drowning.

Tolly had saved Leigh again only moments ago, his song chasing away the monster that plagued Leigh's nightmares, because while at first the creature had been vicious and terrifying as it circled him in an endless ocean, Tolly's song transformed it into something beautiful, elegant and ethereal, like Tolly himself with his glittering tail.

Leigh had soon realized he was dreaming, eyes opening in the wake of that song to find Tolly against him, lean body pressed to his with a hand at his face. As he kissed Tolly now, slow and heated in the morning light, his mind and surroundings fuzzy, Leigh felt almost like he was still asleep, but this was much sweeter than any dream or monster that wasn't real.

He moved his hands to Tolly's waist to hold him closer, and Tolly responded by grabbing both sides of his face. Scooting lower, he straddled Leigh and rocked his hips forward, brushing his underwear against Leigh's sleep pants.

While Tolly ground into him, he slid his hands from Leigh's face down his chest to the hem of his shirt and pushed up underneath. Leigh's instinctive urge was to flinch, but Tolly's touch wasn't harsh like the world around them; it was kind and giving, like a beacon home.

They were both starved for contact, but even though Leigh usually shied from what was offered, Tolly dove in headfirst the same way he'd jumped into the river. Their connection—Leigh could feel it, the calm Tolly projected like his soothing song, contrasting the ravenous desire in him to get Leigh's shirt off. He pushed it up Leigh's chest as they kissed, but he didn't want to break away so he drew one hand downward again and slipped beneath his waistband with tentative but curious fingers.

"Tolly…," Leigh panted.

"I want to be inside you."

Whoa . "Uh… Tolly…."

"Or you inside me. I have no preference," Tolly said, palming Leigh with only enthusiasm pouring through their connection. It would be so easy to give in, but one of them had to think sensibly.

"Hey." Leigh grabbed Tolly's wrist to stop him, and wow , did he look even more beautiful kiss-bitten. "There's a lot of prep and thought and… and supplies we'd need. Plus, I don't…. It's, uh… it's been a while for me."

Tolly blinked as if not fully understanding. "That is all right. It has been forever for me," he said and leaned in for a kiss.

Leigh gripped his wrist harder to keep out of reach. "You mean you've never…."

Of course he hadn't. He hadn't had legs until now, and he never would have been with one of his own. Leigh wasn't even sure what Tolly's anatomy was like when he had his tail out.

"Does that bother you?" Tolly asked innocently.

Innocently .

"No, I've just never been with someone who's… never been with someone. Even my first time, the other person was experienced."

"Oh," Tolly said as though he must have disappointed Leigh. "I will do my best to please you. You can tell me everything you want me to do."

There he went sounding like a porno again. "I need to process this." Leigh pulled Tolly's hand out of his pants. "We shouldn't rush, not when you've never…. Someone's first time isn't always special, but it should be."

Tolly sat back on Leigh's hips with a pout. He had no idea how much that made Leigh want to throw him to the bed. "It would be special if it was with you. But we can wait for the right time if that is what you wish." He chewed his lip like he needed something to bite to stave off his hunger, and slowly dragged his fingers to the edge of Leigh's sleep pants again. "May I still touch you?"

Clearly, Tolly had been sent here by the powers that be to torture him.

Leigh should've said no, even if he desperately wanted to say yes. He didn't want to take advantage of Tolly's inexperience, but when Leigh didn't respond, Tolly teased his fingers beneath the elastic like he very much knew what he was doing.

A knock at the door made Leigh's breath catch. Could he get one morning…?

"Must you answer it?" Tolly whispered.

"I have to."

"Then can we revisit this later?"

Later would be good. Leigh needed five minutes to think this through and untwist his insides. He and Tolly were both adults who knew what they wanted. That should be enough. But most crises of conscience didn't involve mythical creatures.

"Yeah," Leigh said since he was only human, even if Tolly wasn't. "Later."

At least the sight of Deanna and Gert through the peephole was the final bucket of ice water he needed to cool down before answering the door.

"Hey. What's going on?"

"Can you watch Gert today?" Deanna asked, looking frazzled while she held her little girl's hand. "Gar's waiting downstairs and we're already late. Maggie isn't feeling well, and you know that woman would power through a nuclear explosion if she had to, but she doesn't want Gert to catch anything."

Crap. This neighborhood wasn't exactly teeming with viable options for a babysitter, and Deanna couldn't afford normal daycare. The desk job she'd finally wrangled after being a waitress for years paid well, but she hadn't been there long enough to save much.

"If there was anyone else, I wouldn't ask. I know things can be… complicated for you." She glanced into the apartment, no doubt looking for signs of trouble, but instead she saw Tolly wearing one of Leigh's sweatshirts and an extra pair of sleep pants. She relaxed at the sight of him just like Ralph had.

"It's okay," Leigh said. "Honestly, here might be one of the safest places right now. It's better for me to stay home anyway and wait on some info. We'll be fine. Tolly can help, right?" he said loud enough for both Gert and Tolly's benefit.

Gert peered around Leigh's legs with an excited smile, and Leigh looked back to see Tolly wave at her.

"It would be our honor to watch over Miss Gert," Tolly said. "I did promise my assistance. Shall we play merfolk again?" He winked at her.

"You two are amazing." Deanna sighed as she let Gert scramble inside and handed Leigh a bag he assumed was filled with toys she might want for the day. "I'll be back with Gar in time for dinner. You're sure it won't be any trouble?"

Leigh glanced back once more as Tolly dropped down to a crouch while Gert regaled him with tales of some cartoon she'd been watching that he had to see, and Tolly nodded along happily. It wasn't the morning they'd had planned, but maybe for the better.

"I'm sure. Tolly's a double threat, you know, as bodyguard and babysitter."

Deanna laughed. "At this point, I'll take anything."

Leigh set the bag down next to the sofa after she left. "You eat breakfast yet, little miss?"

"Nope!" Gert jumped on the balls of her feet, hair bouncing in two puffball pigtails. "Maggie was gonna make muffins."

"Don't think I got the right stuff for muffins. How about we have cold pizza, and you don't tell your mama? We'll eat something healthy come lunchtime, deal?" He held up his hand, and she gave him a swift high five.

"Deal!"

"Pizza can be eaten cold?" Tolly followed them into the kitchen.

"Pizza can be eaten any way you want. Sometimes cold really hits the spot."

Taking the day off would have been nice, but having to play babysitter didn't mean Leigh could be lax. He still checked in with Alvin and kept the cogs in motion. He also discreetly asked Tolly to scan for any strange figures outside the apartment every couple hours. If Gert needed to use the bathroom or was distracted enough, Tolly would step up to one of the walls and project his sonar. Nothing ever came back suspicious, but it gave Leigh peace of mind.

He didn't like that most of his next move relied on sitting pretty at home while Alvin did the legwork, but he'd been out and about too much already. Everyone knew he was alive by now, but that didn't mean he should make it easier for them to take him out.

Naturally, as soon as he thought that, he realized he didn't have much of anything other than leftover pizza in the fridge or cabinets. He hadn't gotten groceries in a while, but he couldn't send Tolly out alone, and he didn't want to take them both along.

"I'm gonna run out for like twenty minutes to get groceries. We'll make sandwiches for lunch, how's that, Gertie, and I'll pick you up some chocolate milk?"

"Will you be okay alone?" Tolly asked. "Perhaps we could all—"

"Twenty minutes," Leigh reiterated, grabbing his ball cap and glasses. "If I'm gone longer than half an hour, then worry."

There was a general store not far away where he could get what he needed, though it did take him past the shop from the other day that was locked up now, empty. He hadn't heard anything from Tabitha about a loan. It was a shot in the dark anyway. He didn't think anything would come of it, but he wondered….

Picking up food went by uneventfully, until he passed the aisle with the supplies he'd been thinking about that morning. Did he even need condoms with a mermaid? Did Tolly know what condoms were?

Leigh probably stared for a solid minute in indecision before he swept a box into his basket—and a bottle of lube. He'd never been embarrassed purchasing such things before, but today he felt like everyone's eyes were on him.

He scanned his periphery. No eyes were actually on him, but when he stepped out of the store and turned an immediate right, he nearly ran into detectives Perez and Horowitz.

Making a smooth about-face, Leigh headed the other direction, circling back around to the alley where he could get a look without being seen. He wasn't close enough to hear what they were saying, but things were getting serious if they were hanging around this much. They were worried, which meant there was something to be worried about.

This wasn't only cat-and-mouse undermining from the Morettis. With multiple snitches in Sweeney's organization, they had to be planning something bigger. A takeover. Why hadn't Leigh seen it? And it had all started with getting rid of him.

Heading a longer but more hidden path back to his apartment, he contemplated how easily he could secure anything he wanted from Sweeney if he ended a war before it began. He wouldn't just be back in Sweeney's good graces, he'd be set.

Set for life and part of this world forever.

Seeing Perez—Nick—always spiked resentment through his chest. The detective had been understanding once, always giving Leigh a break when he was a kid, because he understood you couldn't change who your father was or how limited the options were coming from these streets. But as soon as Leigh started running for Sweeney in earnest, those slaps on the wrist escalated.

Sure, Leigh had let Nick down, but what else could he have done?

He was fully aware how much he sounded like Ralph.

After waving with a forced smile at Tolly and Gert, who were playing with a combination of dolls and action figures on the living room floor, Leigh retreated to the kitchen to put away the groceries. Their voices filtered to him clearly.

"Then what happened, Tolly?"

"Then Effie bopped it right on the nose so Keelan could steal the fruit. The pelican was not happy, but I splashed it with a wave and the three of us swam away before it could recover. We ate the fruit in the shade of a large cliff by the beach, laughing at our cleverness. After all, he stole the fruit first. I was not much older than you then."

"Are you still friends with 'em?"

Tolly's voice took on a sad edge. "No."

"Why not?"

"They had to go away," he said, careful not to tell any part of his story that would scare her or admit what he was. "I miss them, but it is nice to think of them sometimes."

It was only when Tolly came into the kitchen to help with the groceries that Leigh realized he'd been staring at the counter.

"I got it," he said, still embarrassed about the supplies tucked into one of the bags. But before Tolly could leave, he asked, "What really happened to your friends?"

"They were not fast enough swimmers either."

" Tolly ," Leigh called to keep him just a moment more. "How long have you been alone?"

At first Tolly didn't turn, but when he did, there was a sparkle of wetness in his eyes. He didn't say anything but smiled as if to say it was okay, even though it obviously wasn't.

Leigh couldn't do this. He couldn't let Tolly be part of killing Vincent Moretti, but there was no way he'd agree to stay back. What was Leigh supposed to do without turning into the type of monster Tolly had escaped?

To distract himself, he focused on making lunch—sandwiches and chocolate milk as promised. Tolly devoured his pastrami. He had yet to try anything he didn't like. He also ate a lot for someone with such a small frame.

The usual interruptions came as the afternoon ticked on and helped alleviate some of Leigh's unease. There was always something broken in this building. If it was brought to him instead of taking him out of the apartment, Gert and Tolly would watch over his shoulder. Leigh could see the same hunger in Tolly's eyes to learn and experience something new. Before long, he was offering Leigh suggestions on how to fix things, and he was usually right.

"I am a fast learner."

"So you've said, but you weren't kidding." Leigh smiled, and Tolly beamed back at him like all the loneliness he'd known could be erased if only Leigh willed it.

Maybe if Leigh could buy that shop, he could get out from under Sweeney's thumb. That wouldn't solve his Moretti problem, though. He'd be another business expected to hand over cash on the regular, and if he didn't, they'd do far more painful things to him than a drop in the river or a gun to the back of his head. He needed to solve that problem first; he just didn't know how without bloodshed.

Later, Leigh and Tolly did the dishes while Gert napped. Their hips would brush every now and again, and Tolly would glance at him with a hopeful smile. It was strange but also reassuring to feel Leigh's own anticipation and nervousness echoed back at him, just enough through their connection to be sure they both wanted the same thing.

"Out of curiosity," Leigh tried with an awkward clearing of his throat, "how would we have sex if we did?" He was twelve. He was twelve years old and making a fool of himself.

But Tolly didn't laugh. "You can show me the first time. As humans," he said as if it was a simple thing to be discussing over dishes. "Though I would like to know you with my tail someday as well."

Know you. It was just so… Tolly .

"And like that… we'd…?"

"Oh. I am quite different in that form. More like a… shark? Perhaps that is the wrong analogy. I do not know of other creatures exactly like merfolk. Do you fear you will find my sex hideous?"

Leigh looked at him, but Tolly kept his eyes on the dish he was rinsing. "I don't think it's possible to find any part of you hideous."

Tolly smiled so brilliantly then, dark eyes twinkling as they met Leigh's so that Leigh almost convinced himself he could be fine no matter what Tolly looked like as a merman aroused .

Then he made the mistake of Googling shark penises after they finished the dishes. He should not have done that. Tolly looked perfectly normal, extremely attractive and frankly well-endowed as a human. As a merman, did he have… claspers?

Leigh erased his search history and tried not to think about it.