Chapter 13

Patrick stepped out of his cabin the next morning, almost used to the feeling of stepping out into a sauna. New York got hot and humid, but not like this. Or maybe it was because he spent very little time in it. If he left a building, he was a few steps from an air-conditioned car.

As uncomfortable as it could be, he had a skip in his step. He felt relaxed. Unconcerned about anything. Perhaps a no-strings attached affair was the answer to his problems. Or more accurately, an affair with Michaela. Patrick had casual flings with women before, but none made him forget his woes. None made him feel relaxed, nearly free. That was Michaela's doing.

He made his way to the lodge for breakfast, stopping short when he heard laughter on the beach.

"Hey Patrick," Sydney waved from where she sat with Brian digging in the sand.

"Hey. I didn't know you were coming." He joined her.

"Yes, well it was a last-minute thing. Mitch and Logan Kincaid decided they want to four-wheel. I figured Brian and I could come and enjoy the lake."

"You should join them." Michaela appeared out of nowhere as she often did.

"I can hang by the lake."

Michaela rolled her eyes. "No, silly. Four wheeling."

Syndey let out a not very complimentary laugh. "I'd like to see that."

He was pretty sure he wouldn't. The idea of navigating the rugged Virginia terrain on one of those machines made his palms sweat.

Michaela thread her arm through his, all infectious energy and enthusiasm. "C"mon, Dr.Andres, it"ll be fun!And it's safe…mostly. Logan and Mitch will go easy on you."

"I'm sure they're not interested in having to go easy. I'll just?—"

"Hey, Pat, you coming or what?" Mitch called him. "We're ready to go."

Patrick looked down at his clothes. "I'm sure I'm not dressed right."

"Do you have jeans?" Michaela seemed to genuinely think he didn't. Perhaps he could use that to his advantage.

"I could grab an old pair of Logans?—"

"I have jeans." He hadn't known Michaela long, but he'd knew he wouldn't get out of this new adventure she wanted to send him on. "I'll be right back." Maybe Mitch and Logan would get tired of waiting and leave without him.

He returned to his cabin, changing out of his khaki shorts and collared shirt into jeans and a t-shirt. When he stepped out, Michaela was waiting.

"Well, look at you all dressed down." She thread her arm through his again leading up the path toward the lodge. "Don't worry about anything. Take your time. Hold on. Have fun."

"You make it sound like sex."

She laughed and the sound of it lit him up inside. "It does, doesn't it. Well, I know for sure then that you'll be just fine four-wheeling because I know you're very good at taking your time, holding on and having fun."

He bit his lower lip hoping it would hide the blush.

While the Virginia wilderness offered a picturesque backdrop, Patrick wasn't able to enjoy it as he was perched precariously on the four-wheeler, holding on for dear life as he bounced and slid over rugged, unforgiving terrain.

As the convoy kicked off,LoganandMitchzoomed ahead, their laughter and revving engines fading into the distance.Patrick, meanwhile, fumbled with the controls of his 4-wheeler, jerking forward in a stop-start motion like a teenager learning how to drive a stick shift.

The machine lurched beneath him. He gripped the handlebars tightly, his knuckles paling as he struggled to keep pace with the experienced riders.LoganandMitch"s effortless maneuvers only served to highlight his own ineptitude, a bitter reminder that he was a fish out of water in this rugged, untamed landscape.

In front of him, Mitch and Logan were at ease, whooping and hollering especially when their vehicles tilted onto two wheels or splashing through water and mud. Occasionally they stop to check on him. Patrick could feel their amusement at his fumbling attempts to control the monstrosity. While Mitch and Logan's bodies moved in sync with their machines, Patrick clumsily held on as each movement had him off-balance and nearly pitched onto the ground.

How could he, a man of science and reason, be so thoroughly out of his element? The disparity between his polished city life and this untamed wilderness had never felt more pronounced. Not that he felt he should excel at everything, but he couldn't even manage a decent attempt. He felt like a slapstick comedian except only Mitch and Logan thought it was funny.

When the group approached a steep incline littered with rocks and roots,Patrick"s grip tightened on the handlebars, as stress skyrocketed. There was no way he'd make it up without crashing.

"Remember to lean forward and throttle up!" Logan called over his shoulder. The advice only served to spikePatrick"s heart rate further.

But Patrick wasn't a quitter and so he followed Mitch and Logan up the steep incline. Patrick"s machine wobbled treacherously beneath him.

Mitch circled back to him. "You're doing great." He offered Patrick and thumbs up.

Unfortunately for Patrick, Mitch's encouragement did little to motivate his vehicle. Patrick"s 4-wheeler stalled halfway up the incline, teetering on the brink rolling back, front over back. Patrick had a moment to wonder if this was how he was going to die. Squashed underneath a 4-wheeler.

"Lean forward and gun it!"

"Heaven help me," Patrick muttered as he did as instructed. With each lurch and stall,Patrick's confidence waned, and with it, irritation grew. He came to Virginia to find peace away from his failures, not to experience more of it. But there was little he could do about it now. He was in the middle of thick woods with no idea how to get back to the resort. His only recourse was to keep going.

They reached a creek crossing, and Mitch and Logan zoomed through it, the water arcing around them. Patrick approached the creek with caution, slowing down as he considered all the possible ramifications of this not turning out well. His 4-wheeler hit the water not with a splash but a plop.

"You need to go faster, Andres," Logan called from the other side. He said something to Mitch and they both laughed.

The heat of embarrassment crept up Patrick's neck, along with more annoyance and a growing resentment. Was it possible he was encouraged to go along with this escapade as comedic relief? To make fun of the shiny New Yorker?

"Don"t worry, man, we all had to learn,"Mitchcalled out, revving his engine and splashing through the water once more.Loganfollowed suit, his machine carving a path through the creek with ease.

Swallowing his pride,Patricktook a deep breath and gave it another try, his 4-wheeler lurching forward with more speed this time. He didn't have the effortless grace of his companions, but he managed to cross and joined them as they sat idling.

"It rained last night so the bit up ahead is going to be muddy," Mitch explained. "If you can, try to follow us."

Patrick managed a smile, but it came out as a sigh. Logan went first, navigating around a wet boggy area without incident. Mitch followed and he too made it through. With intentions of following exactly what they did, Patrick drove through the mud, lurching to a stop and sinking into the mire.

Embarrassment mixed with frustration as he wrestled with the controls. The tires spun sending globs of mud behind him while the machine remained in place. Logan and Mitch laughed.

"Sorry, man. It's a tough spot," Logan said, not hiding his amusement.

Covered in splatters of dirt and with his dignity in tatters,Patrickgave up.

"Everyone gets stuck. It's part of the fun," Mitch said as he maneuvered his 4-wheeler to edge of the mud. "Here, hook this to the front and I'll tow you out." He tossed a line from a winch on his machine. Patrick trudged through the mud to hook the line on his four-wheeler. He never thought of himself as a prissy sort of man, but he was rethinking that as he slogged nearly knee deep in gloppy mud. It added to the mud sprayed over his body. He could only imagine the intimate places mud was seeping into.

Once free, they continued on to a meadow where they stopped, and Patrick hoped it meant that they're adventure had come to an end. Unfortunately, it was just a rest spot. Logan handed out beers and kicked back against rock.

"Should you drink and drive?" Patrick couldn't 4-wheel with all his wits. What would happen after a beer?

"It's just one. Nothing like a cold brew in the middle of nature."

What the hell? Why not?Patrick opened his bottle and guzzled down several gulps. Admittedly, it quenched his thirst. Patrick closed his eyes to enjoy the quiet of nature. That was why they were there, right? He enjoyed the hike with Michaela much more than getting caked with mud and risking life and limb four-wheeling.

"My sister says you've been helping Tate." Logan interrupted Patrick's quiet moment.

There was an edge to Logan's voice that had Patrick worrying he had the same feelings about his interference as his parents.

"More like he's helping me." Which wasn't a lie. Time with take was easy, calming. "Not only do I suck at 4-wheeling, but at skipping stones as well. Fishing, I'm so-so."

Mitch laughed. "Sucking at 4-wheeling is as fun as being good at it."

"Tate hasn't been so surely." Logan's comment was a statement not a question.

"If he's different it's probably because he feels good about helping me." Patrick remembered the boy's statement about worrying he'd forget his mom but decided that was told in confidence. "He's a good kid."

"Of course he is," Logan said defensively.

"He didn't mean anything, Log," Mitch cut in. "He's reassuring you."

Logan sniffed and looked away as he sipped his beer.

Patrick wondered how much longer this day was going to last. It wouldn't be long before he wore out his welcome with Logan. If Mitch knew Patrick's activities with Michaela, he might drive Patrick into another bog and leave him there for the bears and snakes.

Logan glanced over at Patrick. "You seem to be some sort of pet project for my sister."

Patrick wasn't sure what he meant, although he knew he didn't like it. Was Michaela's attention simply out of pity? Even the sex?

"Michaela is a lovely host."

"Yeah, well don't get any ideas."

"Logan." Mitch shook his head at Patrick and mouthed "don't listen to him,"

"Micki is the glue of this family." Logan took a long swig of his beer.

"I can see that." Patrick paused, wondering if he should step out of bounds again. "I hope you appreciate all she does."

Logan's eyes narrowed at Patrick. "My family isn't your business."

"Logan. He's here for a vacation." Mitch pushed his friend on the shoulder. "Relax dude."

"He suggested that I don't appreciate her."

"You don't. Not always," Mitch said. "You're always saying how guilty you feel that you're not doing more."

"Yeah, well…" Logan gave Patrick a sideways glance as he finished his beer.

Patrick was relieved when Logan hopped up and announced it was time to go. Patrick followed the two men back toward the resort, white knuckling it all the way. He was certain that the speed had picked up and several times he nearly pitched his four-wheeler over.

By the time he arrived back at the garage where the vehicles were housed, he was covered in splatters of mud and the remnants of his bruised ego. He followed directions by explanation and example of how to hose off his four-wheeler and store it.

Finally, he was free to return to his cabin. As he trudged through the woods on the path back to the resort, he felt a million miles away from what he understood about the world. Like he was in a foreign land. An alien on another planet. He'd arrived at the resort feeling lost and defeated. A failure in his life and work. Today hadn't done anything to help him overcome that. In fact, the once confident man now shuffled toward his cabin with the defeated gait of a man who was inept in all he did.

This was a mistake. He couldn't build his confidence and find himself by entering a world that highlighted ineptitude. At least in New York, he understood the city and its people.

Or maybe the issue was that he hadn't done anything to work on himself since arriving. He'd stumbled through each day, usually with the help of Tate or Michaela. And he'd been okay with that because Michaela made him forget his troubles. But that wasn't how problems were solved. He needed to face his issues and deal with them directly, not allow himself to be distracted by Michaela.

He reached the lodge, intending to head down the path to the cabin, but he was swept up by Mitch and Logan, and the women up on the deck eating cookies and drinking sweet tea asking about the day.

"How'd it go?" The gleam in Michaela's eyes told him that she knew he'd had a time of it.

"He did great," Mitch said. "Didn't roll at all. Got stuck only once."

His audience clapped. He wanted to feel the goodwill they were sending him. He wanted the camaraderie they were sharing, but all he could think was he was wasting time embarrassing himself. He was letting Michaela distract him from what he needed to do.

"I survived," he said, hoping he sounded positive. "I need to clean up."

"We're grilling burgers and hotdogs," Michaela said. "Why don't you come back for dinner,"

"Thanks, but…I'm exhausted. I'm just going to call it a day."

Her brow furrowed in concern. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah sure. Thank you, Logan and Mitch. That was an adventure. Have a good evening, everyone." Patrick made a beeline to his cabin. He stripped and stepped into the shower, washing away the dirt and sweat, as well as the pull Michaela had on him. He couldn't get his life together playing in la la land. It was time he got focused on his future. To do that, he needed to stop spending time with Michaela.