1. Yara

Chapter 1

Yara

I had been told my entire life that I was beautiful, a perfect angel, sexy personified. For a while I believed it, even after everything I was put through, but then every time I looked in the mirror, I would find something I didn’t like.

My uneven knees, my stomach that would never flatten, the fat on my cheeks.

A new scar. A purple bruise. A broken bone.

The more compliments that were bestowed onto me, the more I hated myself. The more I believed I would never live up to the expectations.

The more my mind rebelled.

Until a particularly awful experience back home left me a broken mess.

I could no longer ignore the scars—the deformities —that covered my body. A testament to my childhood.

Now my mirrors stayed covered, and I hid myself in loose dark clothes. Away from the world’s watchful eye. Away from men’s leering stares. Away from my own gaze.

Because no matter what I did or how I changed… No matter how much I dieted or exercised…

I would never be beautiful. I was ugly. Inside and out.

Pressure on my temple jostled me out of my spiraling.

“Miss Yara, you had that look on your face again. What are you thinking about?” Of course it was my assistant .

“Kazi, I told you to just call me Yara. We have known each other for almost ten years now.” I smiled fondly at the man, taking him in. At least he wasn’t calling me Miss Greene anymore–that only took a year or two to fully break.

Kazi wasn’t particularly large or bulky but that was something I loved the most about him. I felt comfortable with him in my orbit. It was hard to describe Kazi, but I would call him pretty. Full lips, sharp angles, flecked russet eyes. Dark ebon hair that fell just over his ears, covering them. He was older than me, but he didn’t have a single wrinkle to show for it.

I was jealous.

He leaned down over the chair I sat in until his lips were just a few inches from mine. I stiffened.

"Miss Yara, I wouldn’t dream of it. Now come on, we have a full day planned.” His dark eyes paused on my mouth, his lips twisted into a grin before he pulled back and swiftly spun my chair away until I was facing my desk.

I refocused on my computer. The black screen’s reflection is what originally pulled me into my thoughts of unwanted self-deprecation. I quickly shut my eyes after hitting the power button, only able to catch just the brief outline of my hair.

The blonde was an unruly fluffy mess, and I really ought to cut it all off.

“Miss Yara.” Kazi’s tone was edged in warning. “The calendar.”

I opened my eyes and found the screen was now lit up. I navigated to the schedule for today.

We were fully booked. Again.

“I need to have the one-on-one with Liam, he has already been vetted, but his appointment is tonight, and he requested the discreet package.” Most of our clients would meet here in our office, but occasionally, due to the nature of our business, I would need to meet the clients out in the wild.

This one chose a high-end hotel restaurant.

“Not without backup.” Kazi stepped up next to me leaning against my desk chair.

I eyed him in my peripheral vision.

He had been extra protective over me since I gained a stalker. I hadn’t told Kazi, but I could guess who the threatening letters had been coming from. And it wasn’t anybody new.

Men thought that because I ran a dating service, it meant they could treat me how they pleased. They thought I was a sexual deviant waiting to be fucked. It’s why I hadn’t dated seriously since high school, just a fling here and there to let off some steam. I used a different last name for business purposes, but that didn't mean much when my face had landed on the front page of a few magazines and articles. The popularity of my company was a decidedly double-edged sword.

Even so, I had zero regrets about my company; my only regret was my choice in men. Something I had in common with my bestie, Izzy.

Speaking of…

“I need to call Izzy, she’s been having issues with her current trash of the month, Harry.”

Kazi sighed exasperatedly. “That woman is ridiculous, it makes sense you two are friends.”

“Yeah, so why are you and I friends?” I laughed pushing my shoulder into his side.

“Good point, though you do also pay me.” Kazi finally relaxed, leaning further into me and chuckling a bit.

I could feel the heat of his skin even through the suit he currently wore, but I tried my best to ignore it and my body’s response to him. It was getting more and more difficult. At some point I would have to acknowledge my growing feelings. But not today. “Hardee har har. You and I both know you wormed your way into my life on your own. I just offered you money after the fact.”

It was true, Kazi was one of the first people I befriended when I ran from my hometown and made the trek out to California. He had always been kind, soft, non-threatening. Others may think that boring and not be interested. But to me? It had the opposite effect.

I thought I would fit in here easily after growing up in Florida. I could not have been more wrong.

But that was okay, I had a company to start up and didn’t have much time for fun. In fact, the only time I did enjoy myself was at a local comedy club which was where I met Kazi.

Kazi bent over until his breath was in my ear. “I’ll go set up for our next appointment. You aren’t meeting Liam alone tonight. You know the rules.”

“Fine.” I knew Kazi wouldn’t take no for an answer. Persistent as fuck, it was why he was in my life at all. I didn’t make new friends. Izzy was all I needed; she was the rock that kept me together. Even if she was hundreds of miles away in New York.

He offered me one more warning look, his eyes narrowing, mouth flattening into a line, before exiting my office, shutting the door behind him.

Minimizing the schedule on my computer, I moved to new applications in our main database that hadn’t been processed yet. My company, Darkest Desires, was in its peak and we had a surplus of applicants everyday. I usually didn’t even look through them until their background checks were completed by my team of investigators, but I needed something to focus on .

I scrolled through the pictures before stuttering to a stop, my finger hovering in midair above the mouse.

Striking sage green eyes stared back at me, but that’s not what caused me to pause.

I found myself attracted to the man in the photo. I could count on two hands the people I had been drawn to in my life. I lifted my finger up in a haze, tracing the outline of the man’s sharp jaw, a thin salt and pepper beard covering it. I moved up his face to his shaggy hair that was cropped shorter on the sides and styled on top. It was burgundy with unmistakable grays throughout.

I’m not sure what caused me to peruse further. Perhaps the need for a distraction from Kazi? Maybe the desperate need to pull my mind away from my stalker?

I clicked on his profile.

Forty-six, lived nearby, interested in trying several kinks.

One specifically stood out to me.

Breeding.

My belly pulsated with unexpected desire. A primal urge was riding me. The thought of being filled with cum swirled into my mind, and I rubbed my thighs together in response.

This is new.

As was the interest in a much older man .

Perhaps my daddy issues are finally taking center stage.

Smothering my chaotic thoughts, I read further. He was single, had a vasectomy, and was interested in someone close to his age.

Close to his age.

I certainly wasn’t that.

Disappointment coursed through me, immediately followed by surprise .

Was I actually considering using my own dating site? I had started the company on a want to bring light on an otherwise shunned subject.

Venturing into kinks, the taboo, all done in a safe environment. But I had never actually participated.

“You coming?” Kazi poked his head through the door eyeing me speculatively.

I was so lost in thought that I nearly jumped out of my seat. “Yes, one minute.”

He raised an eyebrow inquisitively but let me be, shutting the door behind him.

My attention refocused on my computer, and before I could change my mind, I moved the man’s profile out of the shared drive and into my personal one, a plan forming in my mind.

I would be reaching out to this man myself.