6. Nixon

Chapter 6

Nixon

Each second I'm not texting Savannah, I want to be texting Savannah. She's like this addiction I can't seem to shake. The weird part is, I don't know her anymore. I'm well aware she could be a completely different person than the girl I walked away from six years ago. Six years is like a lifetime when you're in high school and college. So much changes and you never seem to know which way your life is going to twist and turn.

I definitely never saw my life turning out like this.

I never saw the accident coming my way. One second, I was in a jeep cruising through the deserts of the middle east, laughing with my buddies and the next thing I knew I was laying on the ground and could barely move. Everything happened so quickly.

I lost a few brothers that day. I watched them bleed out with no one there to help them. I was one of the lucky ones. I survived. Yet I didn't feel lucky at all.

After I woke up in the hospital, I swore I was going to focus on getting better so I could be the man Savannah deserved. She didn't need a crippled man to take care of for the rest of her life, she needed someone strong. Someone who could provide for her and I was going to become that man.

Except it took so much longer than I expected. One set back after another had me struggling to recover and be the type of person Savannah needed. Now it might've been too long.

I've debated on going to the Catalino's house to visit Carla and Donny since I moved back into town. I know they'll happily brag about their daughter for hours, but I want to learn more about her by talking to her or watching her. I don't want my information coming second hand.

The next four days are going to be brutal. I feel like the last six years have been a countdown to re-uniting with Savvy.

I only make it to lunch time before I break down and send Savvy a text. I'm proud of myself for making it this long, I just hope she doesn't get pissed.

Nixon: Morning, beautiful. How was your night?

As soon as I press send, I question if calling her beautiful is crossing a line. I have no clue what Savvy looks like now, but she'll always be beautiful to me.

Savvy: Do you even know what I look like?

I can't help but chuckle. She's always been straight to the point, keeping me on my toes.

Nixon: Do you know what I look like?

Savvy: Of course not! I haven't seen you in years!

Nixon: Do you still have Batman?

I smirk, thinking of all the times I've snuck into Savvy's room. She always looked so peaceful and adorable when she was sound asleep. Her chestnut hair fanned out around her head and she'd be clutching a stuffed unicorn named Batman.

My smile grows larger when Savvy texts me back with a picture of Batman sitting on her pillow. The best thing about the stuffed animal is the light on the stomach. We'd use it to light up her room when we heard a noise or when we wanted to sneak into the kitchen for a snack. Carla always found us stuffing cookies into our mouths. She'd laugh and usher us back up to bed.

Nixon: I can't believe you still have him.

Savvy: I could never get rid of Batman, he's my best friend.

Damn, that hurts. I used to be her best friend. I used to be everything to her.

I can't even be mad at her for acting like I'm a stranger. I up and disappeared from her life. I'm not proud of handling things that way, but I was young and stupid.

You tend to make bad decisions when you're so obsessed with a girl that you can't focus on anything else. I knew Savannah was going to be successful in life, it's just who she is. She pushes herself to be the best, not to be better than other people, but because she can't handle the thought of not succeeding.

That's why I cut ties with her. I knew I couldn't be a man she'd want when I felt so lost after the accident. I knew she'd move away and go to college, leaving me behind to try to figure out what I was going to do. I never would've gotten into the schools she was looking at and I'd never ask her to go somewhere I could've gotten in.

I thought cutting off things with her would be better. I didn't want her to spend all of her time writing me letters or waiting for a random call from me. I didn't want her to stay home on the weekends, hoping to hear from me. I wanted her to experience life and have fun. I wanted the best for her and I thought that was removing myself from her life until I could prove I could be the man she needed.

I couldn't have been more wrong.