25. Savannah

Chapter 25

Savannah

The time I spent with Nixon today was… perfect. In the beginning, it was a little awkward, but we're finally finding our way back to how things used to be. And because of that, I feel myself quickly falling for him all over again.

Every time he aimed one of his dimple filled grins my way, my heart stuttered and skipped a beat. When his gaze locked on me, I felt my skin heat under the attention, but I didn't want him to stop. I didn't want the day to end. I still don't.

But there's something I need to do.

Savannah: I don't feel like this message really needs to be sent, but I want to make sure there are no misunderstandings. We're over. When I get back to school, I'll pack up any of your things from my apartment and drop them off at your dorm. I'd appreciate it if you could have a box of my things waiting for me.

Chad: You're making a mistake, babe.

Savannah: I'm really not, Chad. The biggest mistake I ever made was dating you. I hope you have fun with Devon.

As soon as I hit send, I mute the conversation. I know he'll continue texting me and I don't want to hear any of it. I didn't text him because I wanted to talk, I did it because I want to be single and I wouldn't feel single until we officially ended things.

It sounds stupid, but for some reason the thought of anything happening between Nixon and me felt wrong until I talked to Chad. But now there's nothing holding me back.

I quickly check to see what time it is, then toss my phone on the nightstand. I don't want to be here right now. I want to be with Nixon.

Climbing out of bed, I quietly creep onto the balcony and peek through the French door leading to his room. He's lying in the center of the bed with one arm tucked behind his head. He looks so peaceful, so perfect.

I debate on knocking, but decide to try the handle first. If it's locked, I'll knock, otherwise I'm just going to let myself in and hope he doesn't mind.

The handle twists easily and I tip toe into his room. After the door is shut, I turn around to face him again. I'm surprised to find him awake. Nixon props himself up on his elbows and watches me with sleepy eyes.

"What's going on?"

"I… I wanted to be with you. Can I sleep with you?"

"Of course." He scoots over until there's enough space on the bed for me, then he holds an arm out and waits for me to climb under the sheets.

I rest my head on his shoulder and drape my arm across his stomach. His bare skin is soft and warm, making it the perfect pillow to fall asleep on. I trace little shapes on him, anything to keep my mind off of how I'm lying next to the man of my dreams. I love being able to touch him and not feel like I'm doing something wrong.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks quietly.

"Talk about what?" I peek up at him.

"Whatever is bothering you enough for you to break into my room while I was getting my beauty sleep."

"First off, I didn't break in. Not only is this my house, but the door was also open." I lift my hand off his stomach and point in his face. Nixon nips at my finger, making me chuckle.

"It's your parent's house, but I'll allow it. Though, I think it's still considered breaking and entering since I didn't invite you in here," his voice is a low murmur in my ear. It's soft and sexy. I'm not sure if I want to fall asleep listening to it or if I'll swoon so hard I won't be able to fall to sleep.

We're quiet for so long, I assume he's fallen asleep. I tug his arm out so I can lay my head on his chest and scoot even closer. We've never been this close together, but I love it. He feels like home to me, and that's something I've been missing for a long time.

"I hope you had a good day today," Nixon whispers softly.

"I did. I don't think I realized how much I missed you until I saw you," I whisper my confession into the darkness, knowing I'd never have the guts to do it in the light of day, or if Nixon were looking into my eyes.

"I've missed you like crazy, Savvy." He tightens his hold on me and kisses my temple. "Let's get some sleep. Tomorrow's your last full day here."

Yup. I'm not sure how I'm going to leave for school on Sunday. I'm going to miss my parents and Nixon so much. I can't wait for this semester to be over so I can finally be with the people I love without an end date.

The morning light filters through the curtains, making the room much too bright. I groan and take my hand off of Nixon's chest to shield my eyes.

"I forgot how much you hate mornings." Nixon chuckles.

My right leg is nestled between Nixon's thighs. I stretch and push my leg out, but never touch his left leg. I frown and start patting the blanket around where his leg should be and come up empty.

"Where's your leg?" I sit up and stare down at him.

"Savannah," he whispers softly. Just the way he's saying my name has me thinking something's wrong. There's too much sorrow and guilt in his tone.

I grip the blanket and try to tug it down, but Nixon holds on tightly. I arch a brow at him and tug again, this time he doesn't try to stop me.

My hand flies up to cover my mouth when I find more than half of his leg missing. My mind spins with so many possibilities, but I can't seem to focus on any of them.

"W-what happened?"

"I was going to talk to you about it tomorrow. I didn't want to ruin our weekend together. I just wanted us to get back to what we used to have before you found out." He runs a rough hand through his hair and shakes his head.

"How did this happen? When did it happen?"

"When I cut off contact with you… that's because I was in the hospital. I almost died. They were able to save me, but not my leg."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I whisper as my eyes fill with tears. "I would've come to see you. I would've helped you!"

"Don't you get it, sweetheart? That's why I didn't tell you. I didn't want my sweet Savvy coming to take care of me. I was in a really bad place mentally. I didn't want to survive, I wanted to fucking die." His gaze falls to his lap as emotion takes over and tears fall freely down my cheeks.

I can't imagine what he went through, but why would he endure all of that alone? All he had to do was answer the damn phone and I would've been there. How could he keep something like this from me?

"Nix…" I crawl across the bed and take his hand in mine.

"You don't get it, Savvy. I didn't want you to view me as broken. I stayed away from you because I didn't want you to feel pity towards me. I didn't want you to feel like you had to be there for me. I thought a clean break would be perfect. I never planned on coming back into your life."

"Then why are you here?" I ask slowly. I sit back on my heels and let go of his hand. I can't be touching him if he's about to break my heart.

"Because I love you, Savvy. I love you so much, I couldn't stay away anymore. It killed me to stay away from you for so long. I couldn't tell you how many times I stopped myself from driving to your school, hoping to catch a glimpse of you."

"What did you just say?" I blink at him, I had to have misheard him, right? There's no way he just said what I think he just said.

"I love you." He peeks up at me with so much vulnerability swimming in his chocolaty eyes.

"You… you love me?"

"Yes." He chuckles. "Did I break you?" Cupping my cheek, Nixon gently caresses my skin. I lean into his touch and close my eyes. I don't want to forget what this feels like.

"Probably," I mumble under my breath, still trying to process what he said. "Why'd you come back now, Nixon? You were injured years ago, so why now?"

"I don't know. I think I felt this intense need to prove to myself I was good enough for you. That I'd be able to provide for you and still give you everything you deserve in life, even with being disfigured."

"You're not disfigured, Nixon." I shake my head, hating how he views himself. "You're still perfect. You're still my Nixon."

"Savvy?" He whispers, lifting my chin until I meet his gaze.

"Yeah?" I search his eyes, my head swimming with his confessions.

"What's going through your head?"

"I can't believe you kept this from me for so long."

"Yeah, but how do you feel?"

A slow smile spreads across my face when I realize what he's really trying to ask me. He wants to know if I feel the same way as he does. It's adorable how nervous he is to ask.

Instead of giving him an answer, I lean in and press my lips to his. Nixon doesn't even hesitate to deepen our kiss. He angles his head to the side and wraps his arm around my waist, tugging me closer to him.

"Are you sure you're ok with this?" Nixon pulls back and meets my gaze. He's still unsure and that kills me.

"With what?"

"My amputation."

"I love you, Nix. I always have and I think I always will." I push him onto his back and straddle his waist.

He quickly stuffs some pillows behind his head so he's not lying flat, then he slips his hands under the hem of my shirt and rests them on my waist. Just the feel of his hands on me, has my entire body heating up.

I've always wondered what it would be like to kiss Nixon Russo, but this is so much better than I ever expected. My body is reacting to him like never before.

I didn't feel like this when Chad kissed me or when he touched me. I barely felt anything at all with him. I thought maybe it was because I was so focused on school or due to stress, but now I'm thinking it's because we didn't connect in any way. Not like this.

If this is what it's supposed to feel like, I think I finally found the man I'm supposed to be with.