14. Nixon

Chapter 14

Nixon

Squeezing my eyes shut, I try my hardest to relax. Savannah's absolutely gorgeous, not that I expected anything less, but to see her… damn.

Every time she looks at me, there's longing and care in her eyes. But she's resisting it, she doesn't want to be around me. She wants her heart to listen to her head and keep me at a distance. Hearts don't care about the brain's opinion; it knows better than to listen to reason.

I stir the sauce one final time before placing the spoon on the rest, Carla would whoop my ass if I got sauce on her counter. I wipe my hands on the apron, slowly untying the knot at my back. Taking two slow breaths in and out, I plaster on a smile I'm not quite feeling and go greet the visitors.

Chatter fills the air the closer I get to the front door. Donny and Carla are standing off to the side, shaking hands and introducing themselves to the friend and boyfriend. Leaning against the wall, I fold my arms over my chest and cross my ankles. I don't feel the need to make my presence known quite yet.

Savannah's tight black sweater molds to every curve of her body, her skinny jeans fit like a second skin. She's wearing black leather boots that end just below her knees. Her long dark hair is divided into two French braids. She looks like the little girl I used to chase around the backyard with worms. My lips turn up at the corners thinking about those memories of her.

Her ice blue eyes are outlined in dark eyeliner, making them appear even larger than normal. Long thick lashes make her eyes look even brighter. But it's her lips that draw my attention the most. She has on a plum lipstick that's holding all of my focus.

The friend giggles about something, laying her hand on the boyfriend's arm. The way he looks at her, it's like she's more than a friend. For Savvy's sake, I hope I'm wrong. I'll be watching them this weekend though, there's no way I'm going to let someone else hurt my girl.

"Oh, shut up, Chad." The friend giggles again. "I can't- Oh! Oh, wow."

I glance up to see what's wrong, finding her staring at me with her jaw practically hanging on the floor.

"You're hot, like more than hot. I… Wow… I don't think I've ever met anyone as attractive as you." She shakes her head. "I-I'm Devon." She holds out a hand but I make no move to shake it. I'm not looking to entertain her. I'm only here for Savvy.

"Nixon."

Her gaze snaps to Savannah before returning back to me.

"This is Nixon?" She hisses under her breath.

"I take it you've heard of me?" I can't hide my smirk. It's nice to know Savvy's been talking about me. Even if it's all bad, it still means she's thinking about me.

"Don't answer that, Dev. He's got a big enough head already. No need to inflate his ego even more." Savvy jumps in before she can respond.

"I'll take that as a yes." My grin widens even more.

"Look at him, Savannah! He earned a big ego!" Dev motions dramatically at me.

"Shhh, don't talk to him. In fact, let me show you to your room."

"Sweetie, about that. The room next to yours is already taken. Chad and Devon can take the two across the hall." Carla gives her a loving smile.

"By who? I thought it was just us this weekend."

"Oh, it is. But Nixon's house is being exterminated and he can't stay there until they're done," Donny chimes in.

Savannah narrows her gaze on me, she doesn't believe a word they're saying. She's a smart girl.

"Shouldn't there be a tent around your house then?" She crosses her arms over her chest, arching a brow at me.

"Nah, they do it differently now. I don't know the specifics or anything, but I can't be there for a week. It's a damn shame. What do you expect when a house has been empty for so long though?"

"Practically six years," she growls.

"Yup, six long ass years. Now I'm back though, returning to the life I missed."

"You don't get to just waltz back into our lives and act like nothing's changed, Nixon. That's not the way the world works." She uncrosses her arms and plants her hands on her hips.

"You're right. I have some relationships to fix and some apologies to make. I know that. I'm not hiding from my mistakes." I nod my head solemnly

"Could've fooled me after how you stopped answering my phone calls."

"Kinda hard to apologize when you're halfway across the world."

"Alright, let's show Devon and Chad where their rooms are." Carla claps her hands, leading both of them up the stairs and down the hall.

"You two," Donny chuckles, shaking his head. "I have a feeling this weekend is going to be entertaining as hell. Try not to kill him, Sav. You know how much your Mom loves Thanksgiving. I'd hate to see a bloody body ruin her holiday."

He clamps a hand down on my shoulder, shaking his head once again. Then, he's exiting the room quickly so he doesn't need to listen to us bicker.

"Savvy… Can we please talk tonight?"

"I'm not sure that's a good idea. I have Devon and Chad here. It'd be rude to ignore them."

"Are we still going to spend one day together?"

"I… I don't know, Nix."

"Ok," I whisper, turning my back to her. An ache spreads through my chest as my stomach twists up in knots.

I return to the kitchen, stirring the sauce before it starts to burn. I'd hate to ruin Carla's dinner after how helpful she's been this week.

Savannah and I always had an emotional relationship. When we were happy, people hated being around us, they said it was annoying and no one should be that happy. But when we got mad at each other, every conversation was like World War Three. We've always been raw, emotional, and transparent to each other.

If nothing else, I know that hasn't changed. We still wear our feelings for each other to see.

Busying myself with dinner, I pop the bread I made into the oven and check on the chicken. I want to make sure it's as crispy as possible. Dropping the pasta into the boiling water, I stir it a few times just to make sure they don't end up sticking together.

If my hands stay busy, I can pretend every breath I suck in doesn't hurt. Like my heart isn't breaking. She wants nothing to do with me, she isn't going to give me a chance to defend my actions. But then I remember it's Savannah we're talking about, she'll always give me another chance. That's who she is.

I remember growing up, I hated when she gave people chances over and over again. Each time they proved they never deserved a second chance to begin with. I'd ask her why she gave them the benefit of the doubt. She stared into my eyes and said everyone who asks for a chance deserves one. They deserve as many as it takes for them to redeem themselves.

I never agreed with her, I still don't. But now that I'm the one begging for forgiveness, for a second chance, I'm glad she's like that. Because I know any minute she's going to come into this kitchen and give me the chance to redeem myself.

Not even five minutes later, soft footsteps fill the air. I glance over my shoulder, finding Savannah tiptoeing into the kitchen. Quickly, I turn back to cooking, hiding my smile.

"Nixon… I'm sorry. That was rude of me. You deserve a chance to explain and apologize."

"It's fine, Savvy. I know where we stand." My chest aches with the truth in my words. I do know where we stand right now. I know if she weren't such a good person, I wouldn't be offered a second chance.

"I'm just… my nerves are fried from this week. I know that's an excuse, but it's true. I'm struggling with handling my class load with finals coming up. I brought a bunch of notes to study even though I promised everyone this weekend would be all about family and friends." Tears fill her eyes. Her stress is evident now that it's just us. She's not hiding it from me, she's never hidden anything from me.

"Come here, Sav," I whisper.

I'm shocked when she melts into my embrace. One arm snakes around her waist, tugging her tight against me. The other one holds her head against my chest, stroking her hair.

"It will be ok, sweetheart. You're so close to being done. I can help you study after everyone goes to bed; it can be our little secret." I press a kiss to the top of her head.

Having her in my arms is like heaven on earth. I'm loving every second of it, but I dread knowing it won't last long.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" She mumbles against my chest.

"I never stopped caring about you. Never. Cutting things off between us… that was a decision I had to make. I couldn't handle talking to you and hearing your beautiful voice full of worry. I thought keeping my distance was better for both of us. I was wrong. So horribly wrong. Every morning, I thought of you. Every night, I dreamed about being with you all over again. I screwed up, Savvy. I'll admit that, but if I was faced with the same decision all over again, I'm not sure I would've done anything differently. I protected you the only way I knew how."

"What happened?"

"Not yet. I'll talk to you about it, but not tonight. Not until we get a chunk of time by ourselves."