11. Savannah

Chapter 11

Savannah

The entire night I had one dream after another about Nixon. I can't get him out of my head no matter what I do. I woke up frustrated and annoyed. I'm not sure how I feel about him being back in my life. For so long I thought I'd never see him again. I thought everything between us was finished forever.

Then he just popped back into my life.

There was no warning, other than the comment from Mom. I barely had time to prepare myself. Even after Mom told me, I was in denial. There was no way Nixon Russo wanted to speak to me again.

The first day that text came, I freaked out a little. How can you just ask how someone is after years of radio silence? We never did small talk, nothing surface level. We spoke about hopes and dreams, what we wanted out of life, and who we wanted by our side during all of it.

A knock on the door pulls me from my thoughts of Nixon. I jump out of bed and throw on a robe. I'm only wearing a thin tank top and sleep shorts, no one needs to see that.

A smile spreads across my face when I find Chad waiting on the other side of the door.

"Hey! I didn't know you were coming over." Standing on my tippy toes, I press a kiss to his cheek.

"Hey, babe. Do you have any plans today?"

"Well… Yeah. I have that test tomorrow. I was planning on studying, plus I have a class in an hour."

"Can you skip? I want to go somewhere."

Frowning, I glance around, trying to figure out how to respond. I can't skip class when I'm this close to graduating and I have to study.

"Chad, I can't. You know that. We're going to have the entire weekend together. I just need to get through tomorrow. Then we can hang out as much as you want."

"Fine, whatever. I'll see if Devon wants to hang out."

"Devon? Since when are the two of you friends?" My frown deepens. They've never been rude to each other, but they don't hang out unless I'm around.

"What do you expect, Sav? You're always studying or busy with school work. I need someone to hang out with and most of my friends graduated last semester."

"I… I don't know. I just didn't realize you two were friends." I drop my gaze to my feet and frown. Have I really been that absent from Chad and Devon's lives that I didn't even know they spent time together without me.

Chad lets out a long sigh, running a hand down his face.

"You wouldn't, Sav. Your face is always buried in a book. Half the time you don't even realize what's going on around you."

"That's not fair. I'm just trying to get through finals. I need to focus."

"Do you really think anyone's going to care if you got a 3.9 grade point average instead of 4.0? No one cares about that shit," he growls in frustration.

"I do! I care about that shit!"

"Whatever. I'm going to see if Devon's busy. I'll call you later." He spins around to leave, but I grab his arm to stop him.

"I'm sorry, Chad. Just give me today and tomorrow, then I'm all yours."

"Tomorrow night, Sav. After that, no more excuses." He meets my gaze and holds it, waiting for me to respond.

"I promise."

He presses a lingering kiss to my forehead before pulling away and walking back out of my apartment. I feel bad for not spending time with him, but school is too important. I can't throw away all my hard work for one or two days of fun.

Nixon: I can't wait to see you. Are you excited to come home?

Butterflies erupt in my stomach, surprising me. I don't feel like this around Chad. I don't know the last time I felt like this while talking to a guy. It's like I'm a teenager all over again. The ironic part is when I was a teen, I got these same butterflies over the same guy. It's always been Nixon.

I'm both looking forward to and dreading going home. I can't wait to see Mom and Dad. It's been months since I last got to talk to them in person. I'm craving their cooking, their love, and their conversation. But I'm not sure how I feel about seeing Nixon again.

Sav: Honestly?

His reply is almost instant. It surprises me because Chad and Devon don't respond to me that quickly.

Nixon: Honesty is all I'd ever ask of you.

Sav: I'm not sure how I feel about seeing you again, Nix.

Nixon: I understand. When we have our day and I explain, just listen. Hear me out before you condemn me for the sins of my past.

Sav: I'll listen, but I won't promise more.

Nixon: That's all I need. How's studying?

Sav: Bad. I just need tomorrow to be over.

Nixon: Me too. More than you know.

Nixon chats with me for a few more minutes, but he knows how I am with studying and he doesn't try to keep me for long. I love that about him. He doesn't try to change who I am; he gladly gives me the space I need to accomplish my goals in life.

Chad's complained about my studying habits for as long as we've been dating. He doesn't understand why I can't be happy with less than perfection.

I can't explain my need for the perfect score on a test or the most amazing presentations. I'm sure a psychology major could go on and on in detail about why I feel the need to be the picture of perfection, but there's a reason I'm not friends with any. I don't want or need anyone explaining my faults to me.

I flip on my electric tea kettle as I pace back and forth in my living room. I flip through one flash card after another. This is what's always worked for me. I'm sure when I go to pack up my apartment, I'm going to find at least two moving boxes full of flash cards throughout this place.

The thought of moving everything I own out of this apartment and moving back home is overwhelming. I try to push it to the back of my mind and focus on studying. Only one more test and I can breathe a sigh of relief.

Only one more test and I can see Nixon again.