Chapter 15

15

TALLULAH

S ayra dumped two entire bags of clothes on my bed, planting her hands on her hips as she grinned at me. “It’s lucky we’re the same size. If you can’t find something perfect to wear in all that, then I’m afraid there’s no hope for you.”

I chuckled, tightening my robe as I eyed the mountain of garments on the mattress. “What’s lucky is that I ran into you when I did.”

Seriously .

I wasn’t sure what I would’ve done if not for the fact that Sayra had come to the plantation this afternoon to drop off some supplies she needed for the tours this weekend. After procrastinating all week putting together an outfit for tonight, I’d realized too late that I’d run out of time.

Intent on making do with whatever was clean and in my closet, I’d been racing back to the guest house when I’d bumped into my new friend. Immediately upon learning that I was going to the party in the Garden District and that I didn’t have an outfit, she’d run home to rifle through her own closet.

I wouldn’t deny that the sheer amount of clothes she’d brought was intimidating, though. “Have you even worn all of these?”

She laughed, shrugging a shoulder. Then she picked up a bright pink dress and tossed it my way. “Of course, I have. I have a bit of a shopping problem, though. Try that on. I think it might work.”

I held up the so-called dress, immediately folding it up and setting it back into one of the bags when I saw how short it was. “I don’t think this is that kind of party. Niall said most of his neighbors are old. I doubt they’d appreciate seeing my ass hanging out of my dress.”

“Hey, they might’ve enjoyed the view, but I get what you mean. We’re going for classy tonight. Not slutty.”

“Exactly,” I said. “Any ideas?”

“A few,” she replied, searching through the heap and discarding a few more options as she came upon them. “What I don’t understand is why you didn’t just go shopping. The Garden District Street Fair is a big deal, and only the actual residents and those who are closest to them get invitations to the private party after.”

I sighed, scrunching up my nose. It was admission time again. “Honestly? I’ve never been to a party like this before. I didn’t realize I was supposed to go shopping for it.”

She frowned, straightened up, and faced me without handing over another dress to try just yet. “I’m not sure I’m following you. You get invited to an exclusive party and you didn’t know you were supposed to wear clothes to it?”

I chuckled. “No, I mean, obviously, I knew I had to wear clothes. Like I said, I’ve never been to a party like this before or really any party. Ever.”

She stared at me for a long, silent beat. Her eyes widened more with every second until she finally blinked hard. “You’re serious?”

I nodded. “Unfortunately.”

“How?” she asked, stumbling back until she collapsed into the armchair in the corner of my bedroom, her eyes never leaving mine. “How long have you been in New Orleans?”

“A couple years, but I’ve spent most of my nights working. I’ve been out with my friends and the roommates I lived with before, but never to a fancy party.”

Her eyes narrowed in confusion. “Okay, I guess I get that, but what about before you came here? College? High school? Early adult life when you just started working?”

I swiped my tongue across my lips. “My parents didn’t let me go to parties in high school. Or in college, for that matter. My boyfriend at the time wasn’t really big into socializing, so he and I never went to parties either.”

“I have so many questions,” she mumbled, her eyes practically crossed until she shook her head and looked at me again. “For now, let’s just focus on the basics. Even if you’ve never been to a party before, what were you planning on wearing tonight? Surely, you thought about it?”

“I did, but I’m still learning how to be alone and how to take care of myself. Buying clothes and stuff isn’t really something I ever had to do before, so it just kind of slips my mind sometimes. I figured I’d wear whatever I had.”

She blinked hard, obviously still confused, but I also saw concern creeping into her eyes when she looked at me again, mumbling under her breath like she didn’t really mean for me to hear. “ Soooo many questions right now.”

Drawing in a deep breath, she shoved some of the clothes away to make space for herself on the bed and sat down before she patted the open spot beside her. “Come on. I think we need to talk a little bit. I’ll be honest, you’re not making much sense to me right now. How have you not had to buy your own clothes before?”

“Uh, my mom liked choosing them for me. She took me shopping with her a couple times, but she refused to buy any of the stuff I picked out. So eventually, she just started going by herself, and when I got home, there’d be some new clothes in my closet when the other stuff didn’t fit anymore.”

“That sounds ridiculously controlling,” she said, frowning at me. “Am I reading that right?”

I shrugged. “Pretty much.”

She searched my eyes, genuine worry now mingling with the mild concern from before. “What about when you became an adult? You said your boyfriend didn’t like socializing, but did he also choose your clothes for you?”

I flushed, my heart beating harder this time, and I nodded. “Carter and my parents were close. He didn’t like my sense of style either, and I wasn’t working, so I didn’t have any money of my own. He said that if he was going to be paying for my clothes, he would decide what I wore.”

“Why weren’t you working?” she asked, her voice so quiet now that it was almost a whisper. Like she was afraid of the answer she was going to get.

My gaze hit the floor, but I didn’t want to hide things from her. It really hadn’t been so terrible at the time that she had to be afraid of it. “Well, uh, Carter didn’t like the thought of that either.”

Sayra made a strangled noise in her throat. “What you mean is that he wouldn’t let you work, is that it?”

I nodded. “I don’t think he was comfortable with affording me that kind of freedom.”

“Fucker!” She jumped up and started pacing, her hands in fists at her sides. “I had a friend caught up in a situation like that once. It was awful. I’m so glad you got out of it.”

I finally managed a smile. “So am I.”

“That being said, just give it to me straight. You were married to him, weren’t you?”

I sucked in a deep breath through my nose, but then I remembered that I didn’t have to protect Carter anymore. Sayra was my friend. I’d gotten out of that clusterfuck and there was no reason not to spill the beans.

“Yes, I was,” I admitted, and it was like I could feel the shackles coming off as I finally said the words out loud. “When I finally scraped together the courage to leave, I divorced him, but it caused ripple effects with my family. They thought he was good for me even if he was anything but, so I left my old life behind and came here.”

“You cut all ties with them?” she asked, tears now welling in her eyes. “God, Tallulah. I’m so sorry. That must’ve been horrible.”

“It was, but it’s over now. It’s taken me a long time to be able to say that, but it’s true. I came to New Orleans to redefine myself and to curate my own identity, which is exactly what I’ve done. I embraced my eccentric, horror-loving side and I’m trying to learn to trust my instincts and follow my heart without doing what I think I should anymore.”

“I’m so proud of you,” she whispered, sagging down on the windowsill and gripping the edge of it. She smiled at me through her tears. “You’re even more bad ass than I thought.”

“Yeah, well, I might be done with trying to do things that would garner the approval of people who kept me in a tiny little box, but sometimes, I still feel as small as they always made me feel.”

“Don’t,” she said, shooting back up and striding over to the bed with renewed determination glinting in her eyes. “We’re going to make you feel big, bold, and beautiful tonight. That’s a promise. Next time you get invited to something like this, call me, and I’ll go shopping with you. Better yet, let’s go shopping sometime soon anyway. You are working now. You’re earning your own money and you should get to spend it on whatever you want.”

I swallowed hard in an attempt to rid myself of the lump of anxiety that had lodged itself in my throat at the mere thought of randomly spending money. “I have a better idea. Let’s work up to that.”

Sayra sighed but nodded. “Fine, but in the meantime, will you please come over here so we can pick the perfect dress for tonight? You never know who’s going to be there. You might meet a man who’ll show you how much he loves your eccentric, horror-loving side.”

“Well, actually,” I started, my voice smaller than I was proud of. “I’m kind of going with Niall.”

She paused again, then broke out in a wide grin. “I knew it! I knew you were crushing on him. Did he really invite you to go with him?”

I shrugged. “Yes, but he didn’t say that it was a date or anything. It’s just…”

“You want it to be one?”

I nodded, feeling my cheeks turn to molten lava once more. “Is that stupid?”

“Not at all,” she said, once again starting to rummage through all her clothing. “We’re going to put you in something that’s going to make his jaw drop when he sees you.”

I really liked the sound of that, but there was something else that was bothering me about it, and since I’d already started baring all my deepest thoughts and secrets to her, I figured I might as well get it all out there.

“I’m a little worried that he’s going to be upset when he finds out I lied to him, though. I don’t really know what to do or why I lied, but when I told him about Carter, I didn’t tell him we were married.”

“Chin up,” Sayra said, reaching out to squeeze my shoulder. “I’m going to coach you through this, and the first thing you need to know is that Carter and your parents can’t control your happiness anymore. If you want Niall, go for him. He’ll understand why you didn’t tell him right off the bat. He’s a good guy and you didn’t owe him your whole life story. Especially not in one sitting. I’m willing to bet you don’t know his either. It takes time to get to all that.”

Looking at how confident she was about it, I really did lift my chin up, taking the red dress she handed over to me. “Thank you. I think I needed to hear that.”

“You’re welcome. Now hurry up and go put that on. You’re probably already late and we haven’t even started on your hair or makeup yet.”

Following her instructions, I headed into the bathroom and changed. Then I sat down when I got back to the bedroom, trusting her when she turned me away from the mirror as she started working her magic.

It took a while, but when Sayra was finally done and she turned my chair so I could see myself in the mirror, I felt like I was looking at the reflection of my true self for the first time. She had gone dark and dramatic with my makeup, turning my eyes into smoky, glittering pools that even I was transfixed by. Deep red lipstick accentuated my mouth, making it look sexy and alluring.

My hair had been curled into spiraling waves that tumbled past my shoulders, only the fronts secured by a sparkly red clip on top of my head. The longer I stared, the less I could believe that it was really me I was looking at.

Sayra lowered herself down until her eyes were at the same level as mine in the reflection, and she looked at me with a fierce light gleaming in her eyes. “When you walk into that party tonight, remember who you are and how far you’ve come. You are an incredibly brave, strong woman to have broken out of a situation like that and to have landed on your feet and found a way to make a living from your passion.”

“Thank you, Sayra,” I said softly, genuinely touched by everything she’d done for me.

Suddenly full of confidence and excitement, I stood up and said goodbye to her. Then I headed out, arriving at the party so late that it’d already migrated into Niall’s house.

Walking up to his front door, I was a little bit nervous that everything had gone wrong without me being here to oversee it, but I shook it off and reminded myself that I was a badass, independent woman who’d only left here once I’d known the vendors had it all in hand.

Niall’s door was open when I got to the top of the steps. I filled my lungs with air, pulling back my shoulders before I walked into the crowded room. Chatter and laughter reached my ears and relief spilled through me when I looked around, immediately noticing that everything was where it was supposed to be. I smiled, letting my eyes slide closed for just a moment as I realized that my first event was going off without a hitch.

When I opened my eyes again, I saw Niall moving out of a small group on the other side of the main room. He turned and spotted me at the exact moment I saw him, and as our gazes connected, it was like we were the only two people in the room.

The rest of the world, all the people around us, and even all the awesome, spooky decorations faded away, leaving only him and me, those clear blue eyes of his entirely focused on mine. My heart skipped too many beats as I looked back at him, and in that moment, it became crystal clear to me that the differences between us really didn’t matter.

There was something real developing here, and I honestly couldn’t wait to explore it.