Chapter Fifteen

S hit isn't getting any better.

Not with the club.

But my personal life is flourishing. Sex with Kaitlyn is better than it has ever been. Knowing she loves me only makes life better. We have been doing such domestic things together, and it feels good. Kolby is getting bigger than ever. He's rolling over and eating more baby food. It's been great.

If only we didn't feel like our lives are on hold. I know Kaitlyn can feel it too. We have so many decisions to make, but none of them matter if I can't solve my father's murder. I won't leave her until I do.

At least she is safe. Seems Morgue has left her alone for now. Killer has eyes on him at all times. I appreciate him taking extra care with this.

If only we could find the rats in our clubs. That's why I'm here today. Loyal called, saying he had some information. Not wanting to chance either of us getting caught, I met him here. I have to have a chat with Baldie anyway about my father's funeral arrangements.

"Baldie is at the bar waiting for you. We can talk after," Loyal tells me at the gate.

I nod, heading inside to park my bike. When I get inside, I find my fathers's friend sitting at the bar.

"Baldie, thank you for meeting with me."

He snorts. "You didn't give me much of a choice, boy. So much like your father in that regard. What can I do for you?"

"You haven't contacted me about my father's funeral. What's going on?"

"We haven't had time. We are trying to rebuild after the attack. We still haven't found the person responsible. The club voted to hold off until we do," he informs me.

"Where is his body?" I ask.

"At the morgue on ice, I'd assume." He takes a sip of his whiskey.

Do any of these fuckers even care that Rogue is dead? If they did, they would know I picked up his ashes and left them with my mom months ago. My mother, who is surprisingly still clean.

I can't wrap my head around the shit going down here. We have figured out a few of the players on the outside, but we have yet to figure out which of our men are the inside guys. Killer is as pissed about it as I am. Neither one of us likes walking around acting like shit is dandy when we know there are traitors hanging around.

"Whatever you say. Rogue was your friend. You came up together in the club. You voted him as your president. Just seems like none of you fucking care for what he did for this place. It's a shame, really."

I don't wait for his response as I turn and stalk out of the clubhouse.Making my way toward my bike, finding Loyal already there, looking at it.

"Nice bike," he calls out to me.

As I get closer, I lean down and point at something. "What do you have for me?"

"A group of guys left about thirty minutes ago. I asked if I could ride with them, but they told me no. Seemed suspicious."

I keep pretending to point things out to him as I talk. "Who was it?"

"Tiny, Kite, Herc, and Brazz."

Pulling out my phone, I text the names over to Trigger.

"Good looking out. This will not go unnoticed." I stand, patting him on the shoulder.

"Rogue was good to me. He recruited me. I want to find his killer as much as you do."

My phone rings in my hand. I smile when I look down to see "Little Mama" flashing on the screen. "Hey. What's up?" I answer.

"Kolby has a fever," she cries into the phone. "I don't know what to do. I don't even know what I'm allowed to give him. I'm such a terrible mother. How do I not know how to take care of my own child? He's going to die because I can't get it together."

My heart starts racing in my chest. Not only because Kolby is sick, but because the panic in her voice has me ready to panic.

"Kaitlyn, calm down. I need you to get Fang for me."

"Calm down? You don't tell a woman to calm down, Spencer. What the fuck?"

I take a deep breath, covering the mouthpiece. "I have to go. Keep an eye out."

Loyal nods, heading back to the gate.

"Darlin', I need you to hand the phone to Fang."

"Fine."

"Colt," Fang says in greeting.

"Take them to the hospital. I will meet you there. Stay with them the entire time. I want you to drive her car. I don't trust her to drive as upset as she is."

"Will do."

Kaitlyn comes back on the phone. "Fang says we are going to the hospital."

"Yeah, Little Mama. They will tell us what to do. You are an amazing mother. Now go with Fang. I will be there soon. I love you."

She sniffles. "I love you."

When we hang up, I see Baldie standing on the porch, looking at me. I ignore him as I climb on my bike and head toward the hospital.

I'd have liked to stay and investigate more, but if Kolby needs me, then fuck everything else. I'm going to be there for my son.

I don't drive slow as I head toward the hospital. Instead, I break every law, passing when I shouldn't, and cutting people off just to get to my kid. By the time I pull into the hospital, I'm desperate to know if Kolby is okay.

I find Fang in the waiting room waiting for me.

"They wouldn't let me back, and I didn't want to push it. She's back there, though. They should let you through."

I nod. "Thanks, brother."

"Always."

Walking up to the desk, I wait for the nurse to notice me.

She smiles at me, eyeing me."Can I help you?" She bats her eyes my way.

I don't have time for this shit.

"My wife and kid are back there. Kolby Brown. Kaitlyn is my wife."

Her eyes look disappointed as she clicks on her computer. "They are in room three. I'll walkyou back."

She presses a button to open the door. Then she waits for me on the other side. She tries to chitchat with me as we walk, but I'm over her. All I care about is Kaitlyn and Kolby.

When I walk in the room and see Kolby in Kaitlyn's arms as she sits on the bed, my heart breaks.

"Little Mama, how is he?"

She looks up at me, looking surprised. "You came."

"There's nowhere else I would be."

I just wish she believed it.

I didn't expect Colt to get here so quickly. I knew he was out doing something to find his father's killer.He's been more open with me about that, at least. I didn't want to pull him away. I didn't expect him to drop everything to come here, though.

It's just a fever. Logically, I know that. Still, my brain started to panic. It sent out the Mayday signal, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.Next thing I knew, I was on the phone with him, praying he knew what I needed to do. I needed him to take control and guide me.

That's what he did, and now he is here. The relief I feel is indescribable.

"Hold us?" I whisper.

He comes to the bed, climbing behind me with each leg on either side of me. Then he pulls my back to his front as he holds us both. Kolby is sleeping soundly in my arms but is still burning up.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you," I tell him.

"It's okay. Everything is going to be okay. Has the doctor been in yet?" he asks.

"No. Just a nurse. She said he seems okay, though."

"Good. Just relax. I'm here now. I've got you."

I have no idea how long we sit in silence, but Colt never leaves my side. Even when his phone buzzes in his pocket, he stays right there, not bothering to check it.It helps calm some of the fear inside of me.

When the doctor finally comes in, my nerves are shot.

"Hello there. I'm Dr. Frank. Can I have a look at the patient?"

Colt climbs off the bed before helping me stand and set Kolby down.

The doctor does an exam before smiling up at us.

"He has a fever, but seems to be okay. We are going to run some tests to be sure and give him some Children's Tylenol to break the fever. We should have you out of here in a few hours."

"Thank you, Doctor," Colt says.

I can barely watch as the doctor swabs the inside of Kolby's mouth and then takes a vial of blood.My poor boy shouldn't have to go through all of this.

After he leaves, my fear grows. What if the tests come back and something is wrong with him? Is this my fault? Did I bring germs into the house that his little system can't handle? Did Colt?

What if it's nothing like that and something so much worse.

What if it's meningitis?

Oh my god.

What if it's cancer?

"Stop it. He's fine, Mama," Colt murmurs, pulling me out of my spiral.

"Yeah, but…"

He shakes his head. "No buts, the doctor said he looks fine. You need to believe him, okay? No use worrying over something you don't know about."

Before I can come up with a response, the nurse knocks on the door and comes in.

"Hey guys, while we wait, the doctor gave me the all-clear to give this little one some oral medication. Is that alright?"

"Do whatever you need to do," I tell her.

The nurse gives him the medication, and he takes it like a champ, but as soon as he's done, he starts crying and screaming again.

My heart breaks as I try to calm him down, only it doesn't work. If anything, he just gets louder. Colt takes him from me, cuddling him in his arms and speaking softly to him.

"I could've done that," I tell him.

He nods. "I know, Little Mama, but you are worried and tense. He can feel that. He feeds off your energy. Come sit." He indicates the chair.

I do as he asks. He continues to pace the room, talking with Kolby, and I can't help but wonder why it's taking so long. Maybe they have bad news and are trying to figure out how to tell us.

I work myself up in such a state of panic that I barely hear the door open.

"Kolby is doing just fine. The blood work and cheek swab came back normal. He's probably just got a bug. They have such a sensitive immune system at his age. Just keep an eye on him. I'm going to write down some medicine you can pick up on the way home. Follow the directions on the bottle, and if he doesn't get better in two days, bring him back or make an appointment with your primary pediatrician."

"We really appreciate it, Doc," Colt tells him, holding his hand out to shake it as Kolby sleeps in his arms.

"Anytime. You did good, Mom. Don't look so worried," the doctor tells me, squeezing my elbow.

The nurse comes as the doctor is leaving with the discharge paperwork. "You guys are good to go. You take care of this little bundle of joy," she says before turning to leave.

"You ready to go?" Colt asks.

"Iguess. I'm just worried that they might have missed something. What if something is wrong?"

"Shhh. I know you are freaking out right now, but Kolby is healthy. We can't play the what-if game our whole lives. We need to trust that the doctor knows what he is talking about. He says Kolby is okay, so we trust it and we monitor him. Tell me the truth. Does your gut say something is wrong?"

I close my eyes and let myself think about it. My body feels on edge, but my gut isn't screaming at me.

"No," I admit.

"Then he is fine. You would know. It's ingrained in you as a mother. Let's get him home. I'll have Fang stop and get the meds."

"Fang is still here?" I ask, surprised.

"You are family. Of course he is. He wants to make sure you and the baby are okay."

"That's sweet of him."

"That's how our family works. If we were in Vegas, half the club would be in the waiting room with the other half at home baking and cooking so we wouldn't have to worry about food for the next year."

"That sounds nice," I murmur, thinking about it.

No way would anyone in my dad's club do that.

"That's what it means to be a Lotus. At least, in Vegas. Now let's get going."

With that, Ilet him lead me out of the room and to the waiting room. As he said, Fang is standing there waiting.

In that moment, I fall a little bit in love with the Lotus MC. Maybe there is a chance I could love them as much as I love Colt.