5. Xander

FIVE

XANDER

Wyatt leaves the next morning, to go to the rink for some light skating. The Pirates have a game tonight, and according to my... date? Boyfriend? I don’t even know what I should call him.

Anyway, according to what he told me, they’ll skate this morning then go home for naps then go back to the arena for warmups.

He also let me know there’d be tickets for me and Drew waiting at the front.

Speaking of, Drew is supposed to get here in a few minutes, so I spent the last hour cleaning the place up. I’m hoping there won’t be even a trace of sex in the air, because I don’t know if I want to break down what happened last night to my best friend.

How the hell can I explain what I can barely understand?

Drew would over-romanticize the whole thing, because that’s who he is, and I love who he is. But... this all seems too good to be true. And I don’t think killing my inner skeptic is going to do anything good for me.

I became this way after being held for more than a month in a sick camp where my parents dumped me after they saw me kissing another boy. I was only seventeen, and they said, “Nah, we’re done with him.” So of course I’m not a glass-half-full kind of guy.

I barely know Wyatt. I mean, I know some things.

He’s kind, sweet, pretty intuitive for a twenty-year-old. He’s a great hockey player and a monster in bed. And he doesn’t seem to have any problems with being in a relationship with a sex worker. That’s new, but maybe it’s his young, progressive upbringing. Seven years can make a difference in the way parents think after all.

That’s all I know. I don’t know where he grew up, if he has siblings, if he talks to his parents, if his parents are alive, what his favorite food is, if he has a temper, if he’s a good friend...

Though, if he wasn’t a good friend then Bear would have warned me about him, right?

He would. I know Bear better, even if I haven’t hung out with him twice because of Drew. I know he’s overprotective of everyone, and that now includes me. For fuck’s sake, he didn’t even tell Drew why he wanted to talk to me when he easily could’ve.

I just don’t know how the hell I could ever trust Wyatt enough to?—

Drew strides into the apartment before I’m ready, before I can hide everything I’m feeling, so of course he drops his backpack and rushes to me.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay? What happened?”

I burst into tears for no reason at all.

“It’s okay,” he croons next to my ear, as soon as his arms are around me. “Whatever it is, it’ll be okay.”

I shake my head against his and hate myself for the whine I need to let out. “No, it won’t be.”

“Just tell me what’s the matter, and we’ll figure it out.” His reassurance only makes me feel like shit because this is the last thing my best friend needs.

He should be permanently on cloud nine now that he’s finally in a loving relationship the way he’s always dreamed of, and his business is booming, as it should be, ’cause he’s an amazing wedding planner.

He shouldn’t be trying to console me over finding the one guy who can make me forget every other man exists.

Now the possibility exists of me finding the one, which is something Drew’s been searching for all his goddamn life.

And I’m crying about it.

Why?

I push back, out of the comforting hold, because fucking dammit, I’m an idiot. I’m a piece of shit and I don’t deserve any of it.

All I’ve ever wanted was to be desired, to be craved, and Wyatt clearly wants me. Enough to put up with me being a whore.

When I don’t even want to be a whore anymore.

Well, that’s not true.

I want to be only Wyatt’s whore now.

This is insane.

I’ve shared orgasms with the man just a handful of times, and he’s only fucked me three times—since we both couldn’t keep our hands off each other last night.

I’ve got clients who’ve fucked me hundreds of times, and the thought of changing my whole life for them never even came close to my mind.

“Talk to me,” Drew whispers.

I take a deep breath and turn to my friend, then, with as little self-pity as I can, I tell him everything.

“Okay,” Drew breathes out the word. “Just so I understand, you don’t want to have a relationship?”

“No, I do. Fuck, I don’t know. Even before he fucked my brains out, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. So, I guess I do. Yes. I want to date Wyatt.”

“It’s still so weird to me to hear you call him Wyatt and not Milkman.”

“Well get used to it,” I snap impatiently.

“That answers that, I guess.” Drew looks at me with a smirk and I can’t help but grumble.

“Now, onto the next question. Do you want to keep working at Provoke?”

“I—” I shut my mouth. It hasn’t been as much fun for a while now, even before Wyatt came into the picture. “I’ve been hooking up outside Provoke more, I guess. So maybe not?”

“Before Wyatt?”

“Yes.” I nod and look at my best friend. He has to have all the answers. He knows a lot more than I do about relationships. “What do I do?”

“You really never want to fuck another man ever again?” The skeptical frown irks me.

“Well, if Sterling and Jules ask for a third one night it’d be hard to say no.” I’m back to snapping at my friend. The asshole laughs at me.

“Believe me, that won’t be happening.”

“Well then, there you go.” I’m hoping he won’t make me talk any more, but he only stares at me without saying anything. “Ugh, no. I never want another cock inside me that’s not Wyatt’s monster cock.”

“That’s TMI, Jesus.” Drew runs a hand down his face. “Okay then, work with me.”

“What?” I demand. He’s lost his mind. I don’t know the first thing about putting together a wedding.

“Hear me out.” He holds his hands out for me to not interrupt him. It’s not like I have anything to say, the bitch’s got me speechless. “You loved helping me out a while back, remember? When I was putting together the team event for the Pirates. I wanted to ask back then, but I’ve always known you love working at Provoke. Well, loved , I guess. So I’m asking now. It’s not like I don’t need the help, I absolutely could use a partner to handle some of the simpler stuff, like the guest list and coordinating with vendors once the contracts are signed. You could do that in your sleep, Xan.”

“Could I?” I ask, almost to myself.

And the wheels start turning.

This shit has hit me like a brick wall because I’ve been avoiding thinking about it. There’s no way to avoid it now that Wyatt’s in my life.

And I did have a great time helping Drew out a few months back. Even while feeling miserable from a cough I still enjoyed it.

I mean, it’s not my passion... but maybe it could turn into my passion.

Because working at Provoke isn’t my passion either.

Well, I guess I’m a wedding planner now.

“Oh, yes, you brought Xander!” Gab cheers when she sees me enter her suite at the arena. I met the woman only over a week ago, and I can tell she likes me. Probably not as much as I like her, but I’ll take it.

“I didn’t, really,” Drew tells her as he hugs her in greeting.

“Traitor,” I mutter only to myself. There’s no way either of them heard me. “Hey, Gab,” I tell her as I get my own hug.

“He’s here ’cause Milkman invited him. He got us two tickets right above the bench.” My friend’s pretty face looks even better with his teasing smirk—normally. Today, I want to punch it.

“Did he?” Now Gab’s really interested.

Drew told me how the owner of the hockey team values gossip more than most things, and when she smiles predatorily at me, I know exactly what Drew meant when he said she’s like a shark.

I feel like I’m about to get eaten.

“Well, you can certainly use the seats, and I’m glad you came over to say hi.” She pats Drew’s arm in a caring gesture that I can see how it emotionally punches my friend in the face.

It’s hard to see how much he values this woman already. Not because I don’t want him to have it, not at all. But because I know why he values it so much. I know why he’s been craving a maternal figure for so long, and seeing him in the brink of tears because he doesn’t want to believe he’s found it is hard for me.

I want him to embrace whatever care Gab is willing to give him, not shy away in fear of losing it.

“But,” Gab goes on. “You can also watch the game from here. Sterling, Jamie, and Ava are coming over in a little bit as well, as are a couple of wives. It seems this has turned into a meet-your-significant-other’s-boss kind of day.”

I look at Drew with hope in my eyes, and he snorts.

“Yeah, I bet Xan isn’t ready for Milkman to kiss him in front of the world quite yet, so we can stay up here. Let me just text Bear so he knows we’re here.” He sends me a pointed look after he finishes speaking, but it’s not necessary. I’m already getting my phone out of my pants.

Damn, Wyatt has me whipped already.

I’m just being polite, I tell myself even though I know it’s complete bullshit.

The thought of Milkman coming out to the ice, turning to see the seats and seeing them empty is fucking uncomfortable for me.

“Hey.” I get Drew’s attention as an idea pops into my head. I write out the text to Wyatt as I tell Drew all about it. “How about we find a couple kids and give them our seats?”

Xander

Just FYI, Gab invited us to her suite, so we’re gonna watch the game from up here.

“That’s a great idea!” Drew exclaims but something in his tone tells me his nose is still buried in his phone’s screen. “Let’s go.”

Wyatt

Thanks for letting me know, baby.

Ask Drew to take you to the family lounge after the game so we can meet there.

Fuck.

Family lounge?

That’s…hardcore?

Like, family.

It’s intense, right?

Then why the hell am I smiling down at my phone like I just won the fucking lottery?

Because I did.

The voice inside my head, that has saved my life more than once, sounds more certain than ever. Can I let myself listen? Is it possible that this won’t blow up in my face? I’m pretty sure I already believe it won’t. Despite all my issues, my past, it seems Drew’s romanticism has rubbed off on me enough to believe Wyatt and I actually can be more than sex. It already feels like more than sex.

I laughed with him. I felt safe with him. I felt seen and cherished not for my body—though, hey, that too—but for me.

All the right pieces are already there, I know. All I have to do now, is enjoy the process of us building the puzzle of our relationship. Together.

“Xan?” Drew’s voice brings me back to the present.

“Yeah, sorry. Let’s go find two fans and make their day.”

“That’s a good idea,” Gab says, looking thoughtful. “Warmups start in ten,” she tells us like we better be back by then.

Okay, so… “How do we choose?” I ask Drew as he leads me down the corridor to the elevator.

“I don’t know, let’s just go to the highest seats and see what we find.

We’re on our way back to the suites in less than ten minutes. We found a man with his daughter, both fully outfitted in Pirates’ gear and looking excited as hell. It was so sweet, the girl—I’d guess her to be about ten years old—was reciting stats to her father.

Drew and I didn’t stand a chance. Their smiles after we gave them the tickets were everything we could’ve hoped for.

We sit in the club chairs next to Gab. She’s talking to two women who Drew waves to, but we don’t interrupt. Because the guys are starting to glide out to the ice.

My breath fucking catches the second they announce Wyatt. I can see the powerful control he has on the ice. It’s hotter than it has any right to be.

“Stop drooling over your boyfriend, Xan. Jeez, there are kids present.” I roll my eyes and resist flipping him off.

But I can’t say he’s wrong.

“He’s drool-worthy,” is all I say, and I get a delighted laugh in return.

“This is officially the best day of my life,” my best friend declares.

“Well just until Bear puts a pretty ring on your finger, right?”

“Probably.” He smiles like a fool and then spends a couple of minutes drooling over his own boyfriend.

“Who would’ve thought,” I muse out loud, and Drew snorts.

“Not seventeen-year-old us, I can tell you that.”

We share a long look at his words.

No, when we were running from the camp, risking our lives every day out on the streets, we never could’ve even imagined that we’d be here ten years later. That we’d have all this. That we’d find good men who couldn’t care less that we’re former whores , or what we did to survive.

But we are here, we do have all this, we did find good men.

Yeah, both our relationships are pretty new, but would two damaged boys risk their hearts for your average Joe?

No they wouldn’t.

Only top-tier men could win us over after the hell we’ve been through, and I’m just betting they keep us.

Six Months Later

I spring to my feet, and then jump into Wyatt’s arms as soon as he’s close enough to catch me.

“That was amazing, babe!” Who ever thought I’d be calling another man babe ? Not me. But my man just scored a hat trick in the second game of the third round of the playoffs—he deserves all the praise I can give him. Not only for being a hockey god, but also because he’s taught me so much that I know it’s the second game of the third round and what it means.

“Thank you.” He kisses me deep, and I get lost in it until Santa interrupts.

“We do not want to see that, Milkman. Put your dick away.”

I chuckle right against his lips, and give him one more peck before jumping down. Wyatt flips Santa off, but the Russian is already on his haunches hearing Ava’s adorable commentary on the game.

He’s really great with kids, that one. Even if his second job is annoying the hell out of all his teammates, none of them could ever hate him because he always pays more attention to the kids than to them.

Well, and to any woman walking by.

He doesn’t have a type, besides women, and he’s unapologetic in his ladies-man ways. I hope he finds the one to put him on his ass soon, he could use some humility.

I would know.

“Ready to go home?” I ask, looking up at Wyatt.

“Yeah, baby.” He takes my hand and leads me out of the room without saying anything to anyone. I have to hustle to keep up with him.

Normally he’d at least have given me a few seconds to say bye to Drew. He moved out just last week and Wyatt moved in.

It’s been . . . a challenge.

Not living with Wyatt, that’s not the problem. I swear, there doesn’t exist a cleaner twenty-one-year-old in the whole world. The problem has been not having Drew.

We lived together, only the two of us for so long, and then when I moved to Vegas and he stayed in Phoenix we were both still “together” since we talked every day.

Now, of course we see each other daily—or almost daily—and talk all the time since we’re business partners, but it’s different.

He’s making his life with Bear, and I’m making mine with my man.

And Wyatt knows all this, so why is he rushing me out of here like the building’s about to go up in flames?

I decide I’ll ask when we’re settled in the car, but Wyatt cages me against the passenger door and kisses the living daylights out of me.

“What was that for?” I ask, not complaining in the least.

“I put in a plug in the shower. I had to be quick, so no one would know.”

“Oh, shit.” My dick goes from a semi to hard as nails in a millisecond. I really appreciate Wyatt not having any superstitions about his game that involve sex. I really, really do. “You want to bottom for the first time tonight?” I ask for clarification.

“Yes, please.”

“All right, then get in the car already.”

We both laugh, and don’t waste any time getting into his SUV.

I never thought I’d find a man who could make me obsess over him, I never thought I’d want forever with someone, but somehow, this godlike-looking man stole all of me.

And I don’t want anything back.

The End