8. Carter

The noise level walking into Donna’s is jarring. Welcome to a Saturday night in a small town. With a town event having ended only a few hours earlier, and nowhere else to go, everyone seems to have decided to keep the party going.

I scan the crowd for a group of firefighters. I’m still a little iffy about how I’ll fit in with this group. Having met most of them through Tucker, I know they’re good guys. I’m just nervous about how to socialize with them.

And if I’m honest with myself, I’m mostly unsure about how Sam wants me to interact with him in front of his coworkers. Our kiss today threw me for a loop. Where do we stand with each other? I know what I want, but does it match what he wants, as well?

I wish I could be as confident as Nolan sometimes. He wouldn’t have this tangle of nerves in his stomach just because he’s hanging out with a few people he’s never met. Nor would a kiss send him into a tailspin.

Whereas I overthink everything.

Sam’s eyes find me in the crowd when I get closer to the pool tables, and the bright smile on his face eases some of the tension. At the very least, I’m confident he wants me here. I can hold on to that idea until I get more comfortable.

“Hey! Come be on my team. This asshole is shit at pool.” Sam points his thumb at Brody, who gasps with dramatic flair.

“I’m rusty. Give me a couple of games and I’ll get my mojo back,” Brody defends.

“You’ve never had mojo,” another guy teases. I’m not sure if he’s Rick or Rodney, though, since their impromptu birthday party didn’t specify.

“You guys suck.” Brody hands me the pool stick and goes over to the pub table where a few beers sit.

I laugh at their good-natured teasing. It reminds me of my brothers and tells me everything I need to know about these guys.

“I can’t say I’ll be any better. It’s been a while since I last played pool,” I admit. I can’t remember the last time my siblings and I played at O’Malley’s. I should text them to set something up.

“At least you’re prettier to look at than Brody.” Sam winks. My face flushes at the compliment. I take that to mean Sam has no problem being out around these guys.

“Why am I the one getting ganged up on tonight? Rick’s the one with the birthday.” Brody points at him.

“‘Cause you’re always ragging on the rest of us. We have to take our chances when they come around.” Taylor comes walking up to the group with a mixed drink in his hand.

Brody huffs but doesn’t refute Taylor’s statement. Sam takes the moment to introduce me to everyone. The only person here I don’t know is Daniel. He looks to be a little older than me and Sam, maybe late thirties or early forties. His soft smile and kind eyes put me at ease immediately.

Daniel and Rick are on a team playing against Sam. They’re pretty good. Let’s hope I don’t embarrass Sam too much when I have to play.

Talk turns to the fundraiser and how well it went. They’re still totaling the donations, but they think it’ll be a record year.

“We should recruit your brother for next year. His little show was a hit,” Sam jokes with me.

“I’m sure he would be down to come back. He never shies away from an opportunity to show off.”

“He’s younger than you, right?” Sam steps away from the table with a curse after missing his shot.

“Yeah, by a year and a half.”

“How many siblings do you have again?” Brody asks.

“Four. And then there’s Natalie, Tucker’s wife, who we count as an extra one.”

Taylor whistles. “Damn, I thought having two younger sisters was a lot.”

“Let’s just say family dinners get a little crazy.” I laugh.

“I can’t even imagine what that’s like.” Sam shakes his head.

“Loud, hilarious, and utterly ridiculous most days. I feel bad for my siblings’ significant others. They’re probably the bravest people I know for being willing to jump into the fray.”

Rick and Daniel run the rest of the table, sinking the eight ball with ease. It sets off another round of razzing Brody, as if it’s his fault Sam and I lost the game. He refutes the claims with a smile on his face and then challenges Taylor to a game to prove he’s not bad at pool.

With a smile on his face, Sam steps over to me. “You want to grab a drink?”

He places his hand on my lower back, and my brain blinks out for half a second. I manage to nod and then follow him toward the bar.

We both order beers and carry them back to the pool tables. It seems a heated round of doubles started while we were gone. Rick and Taylor are on one team, while Daniel and Brody are on the other. Smack talk is being thrown back and forth.

“Are they always like this?” I ask Sam as we sit at the high-top table together.

“Pretty much.” He laughs.

“Then you know what it’s like to have a bunch of brothers who enjoy teasing you mercilessly. Even my sister, Sara, can be brutal.”

Sam’s eyebrows furrow as he looks at the guys playing pool. “I’ve never thought about it like that. These guys are absolutely like family to me.”

My phone buzzes, and I pull it out to find another text from Chase. He’s been quiet these past couple of weeks, so I’d hoped he was finally going to leave me alone. I guess not.

Chase

I really need to talk to you. Please. Can we meet somewhere? I miss you.

I’ll meet you when hell freezes over.

I slide my phone back into my pocket without answering.

“Hopefully, you weren’t talking to me.” Sam’s words have my head whipping up to look at him.

“Did I say that out loud?”

He half smiles. “You did. I’m guessing you were talking to whoever texted you?”

My shoulders slump. I have no desire to get into this with him in the middle of a loud bar with his firefighter buddies only a few feet away. I don’t need my shame broadcast to everyone in the room. It’s bad enough I have to live with it every day as it is.

“Yeah, my ex has phenomenal timing. He seems to know the exact moment I’m starting to enjoy myself and then manages to ruin it.”

“Does he want to get back together?”

“It seems so, although I have no idea why. Our entire relationship was centered around how I couldn’t do anything the way he wanted.”

“Carter…” He reaches over to squeeze my hand.

I shake my head but don’t let go of his hand. “It’s fine. I finally came to my senses a few months ago and broke up with him, but he is not happy I stood up to him.”

“Have you thought about blocking him?”

“Only every time he tries to contact me. But a part of me is afraid that when finds out he can’t contact me anymore, he’ll show up at my house or something.”

Sam frowns. “If you’re scared of him, you should talk to the police. Trust me, I’m well acquainted with how quickly a narcissist can snap.”

“There’s nothing they can do, and besides, he prefers to use his words instead of his fists.”

I can tell Sam isn’t happy with my response, but if he has the experience he says he does, he’ll know I’m not wrong. Chase hasn’t done anything to require a restraining order, nor has he gotten physical with me. I don’t believe I’m in danger from him, but it would be nice if I didn’t have to deal with the random messages anymore. I’m hoping he’ll move on to find another guy to tear down soon and leave me alone.

“How long were you together?” Sam asks.

“Too long. Around eight months,” I grumble. I shouldn’t have let it go on for as long as I did. There was just something in me that wanted to please him. I wanted to do better, be better for him. I thought maybe if I was perfect, he’d finally love me as much as I loved him. How wrong I was. “Over the holidays, I thought things had finally gotten better. We were happy, and I even told my brothers about him. And then I had this huge project start at work that required way more hours than usual. He started belittling me about everything he could think of—many of which were things I couldn’t control. I finally had enough and broke up with him.”

“Good for you for standing up for yourself. That’s not easy when an abuser has controlled everything about your relationship for so long.”

“Have you dated someone like that?”

“Not me. My mom. She always finds the shittiest guys, but instead of finding her way out on her own, I usually have to help her. That’s why I had to leave O’Malley’s the other night. She’d gotten into a huge fight with her ex, and he punched her.”

My heart breaks for Sam. I can’t imagine how exhausting that would be, both emotionally and physically. “You must worry about her often.”

“All the time.” The vulnerable look on Sam’s face makes me want to hug him. “It’s incredibly frustrating. How many times can you make the same mistakes over and over before you finally learn your lesson?”

“Lord knows I’ve learned mine, that’s for sure. But men like that are master manipulators. They can trick you into believing they’re a good guy with barely any effort.”

Sam tilts his head in acknowledgment. “I can understand that. And my mom fully believes in soul mates, so she dates as many guys as she can to try to find hers.”

“Do you believe in soul mates?”

“Not in the slightest.” Sam laughs. “There are plenty of people out there who could be a good match, but the important part is their commitment to the relationship and whether or not they’re willing to work for it.”

“Agreed. My parents have been married for almost forty years, and they constantly tell us that the two most important things for a lasting relationship are commitment and communication.”

“I love that.” Sam’s hazel eyes soften as he looks at me. “I’m glad you had that example growing up. It’s something I’ve always wanted for myself.”

“Me, too. I just haven’t seemed to pick the right guys to do it with.”

“Well”—Sam picks up his beer and holds it out to me—“here’s to new beginnings with the right people.”

It’s as if a starting gun goes off when we clink our glasses against each other. I’m just not sure I’m ready for whatever happens next.