32. Carter

Have the police been through the security footage yet?

They’ve kept a tight lid on their investigation so far.

Should we call Cooper? Maybe he can help.

It’s not his jurisdiction. There’s nothing he can do.

The voices float away as I slip back into unconsciousness. Something is telling me I should wake up now, but my body isn’t ready yet. I’m too tired to fight. I’ve never experienced exhaustion like this before. My body feels weighed down, as if I’ve been tied to the bed. And maybe I have been. Who knows? I’m not even certain which bed I’m in. Mine, I’d guess, but why would I hear my siblings’ voices in my bedroom?

My favorite person’s voice has my brain surfacing again. “I selfishly want you to wake up. I miss you like crazy. But don’t wake up until you’re ready, okay? I want you healed more than I want to see your blue eyes again.”

I try. I try so hard to open my eyes. I want to see Sam, too, but I don’t have it in me. I fall once more into that dreamless sleep.

“His body went through a major trauma. Right now, it’s doing whatever it takes to heal. He’ll wake up when he’s ready. Just have some patience with him.”

A major trauma? What does that mean?

“Easy for you to say,” Sam mumbles. His hand tightens in mine. I’ve always loved that feeling. There’s nothing better than having Sam’s hand in mine. It’s as if he’s telling me he has my back, no matter what.

I do my best to squeeze his hand in return. It’s more of a twitch than a squeeze, but he gasps. “Carter? Baby, can you hear me?”

“Hmmm.” It’s not a word, and I’m still not ready to open my eyes yet, but I want him to know I’m still here.

“Thank God.” Pressure lands on my bicep, and I’m imagining him pressing his forehead against me.

I stay still, waiting for my brain to drag me back under as it’s been doing the minute I reach consciousness. This time, that pull isn’t as strong. Maybe I could open my eyes for a minute. It would be worth it to see Sam.

I try to blink them open but whimper when the light pierces through my skull. Fuck, that hurts.

“Shit, Adam, turn the lights off, please. I think he’s trying to open his eyes.”

Through my eyelids, I can tell when the light is off. I give it one more go and manage to squint them open. I blink a few times, trying to clear my blurry vision, and then it hits me that I need my glasses.

“Hi.” Sam’s voice breaks.

“Glasses,” I whisper.

“Hang on. I think Adam brought your backup pair. Your other ones were destroyed.”

I frown, causing the dull pain in my face to make itself known. Ouch. What the fuck happened to me?

“Here, C. Try these.” Adam’s form comes over to my other side, and he slides my glasses on. It helps a little, but these are an old prescription, which just makes everything worse. Everyone is only slightly blurry now, which hurts my head, and where they’re sitting on my nose burns.

I close my eyes. I’m not sure what my face is doing, but Sam must know what I need because half a second later, the glasses are gone.

“Thanks,” I croak. “Old prescription. Pain.”

“Fuck. I’m sorry, Carter. I didn’t know. I just grabbed what I could find first.” Adam sounds so dejected I find myself reaching out for him. Well, I turn my hand over. I don’t have the strength to hold my arm up yet.

He places his palm against mine. I still don’t have any clue what happened. Based on the fact that I’m no stronger than a newborn kitten, I’m guessing I’m in a hospital. Not in my bed.

“What happened? Why am I in the hospital?”

“You don’t remember?”

I go to shake my head, but it feels like my brain is sloshing back and forth in my skull. Right, so words only. Got it. “No, I don’t have a clue. I can tell that I’m in pain, but it’s sort of abstract. Movement isn’t great, so I’m doing my best to stay still.” I haven’t opened my eyes again. It’s a little pointless when I can’t see much in the way of details.

The long pause confirms that whatever happened was bad.

“Just tell me. I’m assuming the worst here, so better to just rip off the Band-Aid.”

Someone clears their throat. “You were physically assaulted. Pretty brutally. Your ribs punctured one of your lungs, and they had to surgically repair it. You’ve got a major concussion, and they were worried about your brain swelling, but it never did.” Adam describes my injuries without emotion, which tells me he’s shut down every part of him to keep from falling apart.

“How long have I been here?”

“Three days. You’ve gone in and out of consciousness, but this is the first time you’ve been lucid enough to have a conversation.”

“We should get the doctor,” Sam says.

“I’ll go.” Adam’s footsteps follow him out, and all that’s left is silence.

“You don’t remember anything from that day?” Sam asks.

“No, the last thing I remember is leaving the fire station.”

“It’s probably for the best.” Sam’s cool fingers slide across my face. “You’re as bruised up as an overripe banana right now.”

“Hmm. Better mash me up and make banana bread, then.”

Sam breathes out a laugh. “You’re mashed enough as it is. God, I was so scared, Carter. So fucking scared. I can’t even imagine what it was like for you.”

“Come here.” I tug on his hand, needing him to get closer.

The bed dips on the other side of me, and he presses his nose into my neck. He doesn’t put any weight on my chest, which tells me I’m more beat up than I thought.

I still enjoy the closeness, though.

“I heard you’re awake and talking.” A new voice enters the room.

“I am.” I open my eyes without thought, and I’m reminded why I had them closed in the first place. Sam explains why I won’t be able to look at her, which I’m grateful for.

The doctor introduces herself as Dia Mendez, and she walks me through my current injuries. Then she asks me questions about how I’m feeling while she checks my vitals. By the time she leaves, happy with my recovery, I’m exhausted and ready to sleep again.

“Everyone is in the cafeteria having lunch, so you might want to rest now before they get back,” Sam teases.

My lips quirk up at the side. If the whole family is here, then he’s right. I will absolutely need my rest.

“Mom. Seriously. Stop fussing. You’re driving me crazy, and I’m not even the one in the hospital bed,” Nolan groans.

Mom finishes pulling up the sheet and then gives my shoulder a gentle pat. “You hush it. My baby is hurting, and I’m gonna do whatever I want.”

“I promise, I’m fine, Mom.” I grab her hand so she really will stop fussing. I don’t mind because I know it’s making her feel better, but she hasn’t sat down in, like, fifteen minutes. Adam went back to my house to find the right pair of glasses for me. They still aren’t comfortable on my face, but I can at least see everyone again.

“Maybe I’m not fine,” she whispers.

I soften. “Then fuss away.”

She blows out a deep breath and moves to refill my water cup for the fourth time. As soon as I take a sip, she puts more in.

“Do you need a snack or anything?” Sara asks. She’s not as bad as Mom, but she can’t seem to stop trying to take care of everyone.

“I would kill for a cup of coffee,” I groan.

“If you drink coffee, you won’t sleep, and you need more rest,” Mom lectures. She might only be slightly correct. But it feels like all I do is sleep.

I slept most of the day yesterday after my conversation with Sam and Adam. Today has been a little better. I’ve stayed awake for longer stretches of time and have been able to reassure my family I’m going to be okay. They haven’t given me details about the assault. Mostly because they don’t know them. I’m the only one who could say what happened, and it’s still a big blank space in my memory.

No one will let me watch the security footage from my house. They’re worried it’ll be too much while I’m still recovering, but I disagree. I’m hoping when the police come to question me, they’ll let me watch it.

“Honey, you should rest until the officers come. And Cooper said he’s gonna stop by sometime, too.” Mom finally sits in the chair next to my bed.

“I’m not all that tired right now. I’m not sure I could rest.” What I really mean is there’s no way I’d fall asleep with everyone in the room with me. Even when they’re trying to be quiet, they’re loud.

Adam stands up. “How about we all go get some lunch and let you try to nap? Mom’s right, you’ll be too exhausted to talk with the officers if you don’t rest now.”

I catch my brother’s gaze and mouth, “Thank you.” He nods his head and shuffles everyone out.

Sam stays by my side and asks them to bring him a sandwich or something. “Is it okay if I stay? I’m not quite ready to leave you alone just yet.”

“Totally okay. I’m not quite ready to be alone yet either. I wish you could cuddle me. That’s really what I want right now.”

“Can you imagine us both trying to squeeze into that tiny bed?” Sam grins. The dark circles under his eyes worry me that he’s not sleeping enough.

Would he fit if I scooted over and he laid on his side? Probably, but then how comfortable would either of us be? The doctors said I’d only need to be here for another day or two. They want to be confident I won’t have any complications from the surgery before they let me leave.

“Go to sleep, baby. Get some rest, and then maybe we can get out of here sooner,” Sam says.

I tilt my head against his where it’s pressed against my shoulder. It doesn’t take long for me to fall asleep, and what feels like minutes later, I’m being woken up again.

“It’s time to wake up. The police are ready for you.” Sam’s soft words pull me out of a deep sleep. I want to whine about waking up. I want to tell them to go away. But more than anything, I want to go home where I can have my man by my side and we can shut out the world.

A groan rumbles in my chest. “Don’t wanna.”

Sam laughs and presses a gentle kiss to my lips. It’s enough to make me open my eyes. He hands me my glasses that he must’ve taken off for me when I fell asleep.

“I need one more of those for strength.” I pucker my lips for another kiss.

Sam obliges me, giving me several kisses in a row.

“It’s a miracle! I’m healed,” I tease.

He winks at me and then stands to let the detectives in. They’re both in slacks and button-downs and give off the biggest cop vibes of anyone I’ve met.

“Hi, Mr. Ellis. My name is Neal Grant, and this is my partner, Warner Nightingale. Please feel free to use our first names. We’re not the formal type.”

“Call me Carter, and damn, that’s quite the name,” I joke.

Warner laughs. “Tell me about it.”

“He’s not the pompous ass his name suggests.” Neal elbows Warner, making me laugh. “You good to answer some questions for us? We’re sorry this happened to you. We’re gonna do what we can to catch the guy.”

“Thanks, yeah. I don’t remember much, though.”

“That’s okay. Walk us through your day. Where did you go? What did you do? Did you notice anything strange?”

“Sam is a Sonoma firefighter and was on shift that day. I was bored and wanted to see him, so I went to the grocery store to make his crew some Rice Krispies treats.”

“What time was that, and which store?” Warner interrupts.

“Oh, um… nine or ten on Saturday morning? And I went to Nature’s Pick.”

He makes a note on his legal pad. “Okay, sorry to interrupt. Please continue.”

“I drove to the Sonoma station around noon and hung out with the guys for a couple of hours before heading back. I guess it was maybe three-ish when I got home. I remember walking in through my garage… and not much else. I’ve got some flashes of a man standing over me. I also have a very visceral memory of being kicked in my stomach and then my back like a seesaw. Like one hit, then the next, if that makes sense.”

“That lines up with what we’ve found on your security tapes. Three men entered your house around three in the afternoon and then left an hour later.” Neal pulls out an iPad and taps around on it before handing it to me. I grab it from him and stare down at the video footage he pulled up.

“Adam sent it over to them from your phone,” Sam says. I didn’t even realize I wanted to ask that question before he answered it.

I continue to stare at the iPad, trying to find the courage to press play.

Sam places his hand on my arm. “We can watch this later.”

“No, I need to do it.” What happens if I watch this and don’t remember anything?

What happens if I watch it and do?