19. Carter

I’ve never felt this blissfully happy.

How the hell did I manage to find a man who understands me better than I even know myself? I’d have never thought going camping would be the thing that allowed me to recharge my battery. Yet, somehow, Sam knew it would be the perfect thing to help us connect and allow us to rest.

The windows are down in Sam’s truck. The wind makes it hard to talk, but that’s okay. Sam’s been holding my hand over the center console since we packed up our camp and got on the road. We slept in this morning and had campfire coffee. I wasn’t particularly ready to leave, but I was dying for a shower. There was no way I could hold out touching Sam for much longer.

We stopped at a cute little diner for lunch earlier, and with each mile we get closer to home, dread starts to settle in my gut. I’m not ready for our getaway to be over. Reality is filled with anxiety and worry. I just spent almost thirty hours straight without a care in the world. Why would I want my everyday life to interrupt the calm I’ve achieved?

Sam rolls up the windows, the silence almost as deafening as the blowing wind. “You okay over there?”

I sigh. “Yeah. I’m just not ready to go back to reality yet.”

“Me neither, baby.” He kisses the back of my hand. “What if I promised you a blow job while we shower?”

I pretend to think about it. “I guess that could be a good incentive to go home. Although… I think I’ve forgotten what your cock feels like in my a?—”

“Done.” Sam doesn’t even let me finish my sentence before he agrees, which makes me laugh.

“Then that’s settled.” I wink at him.

Half an hour later, we’re pulling into my driveway and racing toward my front step. I start to unlock the deadbolt when I realize the door is already open.

I freeze in my spot, my brain running through every scenario to explain why my door would be open already.

“Carter?”

“My door is open.” I turn to look at Sam.

He frowns and looks around my shoulder. “You didn’t just open it?”

“No, it was already open. Was it open all weekend?” I start to go inside when Sam grabs my arm.

“Hold on. The door wasn’t open when we left. I saw you lock the deadbolt.” He gets closer to my door and inspects the doorjamb. “Carter, someone broke the door in. This is broken.”

I stare at the chipped wood in horror. “Someone broke into my house?”

“We need to call the police.” Sam pulls out his phone, his deep voice speaking in low tones as I continue to stare at my door like an idiot.

There’s something I should be doing. What should I be doing right now? I need to see if anything has been stolen. But that would require going into my house. Am I allowed to do that? Who would break into my house? It’s not like I have that many valuables. My computer and PlayStation are about the only things worth any money.

“Carter… Baby, the police are on their way.”

I stare at Sam as his words sink in. “Okay, good. That’s good. I need to…” I turn around as if I know what I’m doing, but I stay rooted to my spot.

Sam’s arms come around my shoulders and pull me into his chest. I hold on to him with a tight squeeze. He’s so solid. I’m spinning out of control, and he’s my steady ground.

“I should call that PI. Maybe this was Chase.”

“Okay, let’s do that while we wait.” Sam directs me to sit down on my front steps, and I’m grateful he’s taken over the logical thinking portion of this situation.

I scroll through my phone to find Jeffery’s contact info. When I press the call button, Sam asks if I’d rather he talk to Jeff. I hold my phone out to Sam, grateful he can tell I’m at my limit.

I listen to Sam talk to the PI. It takes about ten minutes for a couple of officers to show up at my house. They ask Sam and me questions that I answer as best as I can. They go inside to check that the place is empty, and then they wave me inside with grim faces.

I freeze in my entryway. My entire living room has been destroyed. All my stuff is in pieces on the floor, my couch has been shredded, and every cabinet in my kitchen is open and empty.

“Oh my god.” I press my palm to my mouth in shock. This is too much for me to handle. Who would do this?

“Can you tell if anything was stolen?” Sam asks gently.

I shake my head. “It’s hard to tell, but from what I can see from the pieces, no.”

Sam’s hand rubs my back, and I lean into his comfort. I look into his eyes, desperation tearing through my body. My chest feels tight while air stalls in my lungs until I’m lightheaded.

“Let’s get out of here.” Sam pulls me out of the house and to the front yard. “Take some deep breaths, baby.”

I follow his lead, watching his chest expand and deflate. I’m having a panic attack. I haven’t had one in… I don’t know how long. It takes me a few more minutes to get my breathing back to normal.

“Why would someone do that, Sam?” I croak.

“I don’t know. The police are looking for a note or anything to indicate who could be behind this.”

“I can’t go back in there, Sam. I can’t.”

“You won’t have to. I’ll make sure of it. I texted your brother, Adam, to help me get you packed up. I have a feeling he’s going to force you to stay with him and Ellie.” Sam jokes.

I smile without much humor. “Yeah, he probably will. Then my mom will insist I stay with her. I’m not sure which would be worse.”

The thought helps distract me from the break-in until the officers come striding out of my house.

“We did a cursory search and found more damage to your office and bedroom. There was also this left on your counter.” The officer with kind brown eyes holds out a small piece of paper.

This is only the beginning of what we can do.

“Do you know what they’re talking about?” The tag on his uniform says Brady.

I shake my head. This is starting to scare me. Why can’t they be more specific? Wouldn’t it be more beneficial for them?

The second officer eyes Sam and me as we continue to hug. His mouth turns down in a frown. “Seems like someone might’ve been pretty angry. You two have any thoughts as to why?” Again, his eyes stray to my arms around Sam’s waist, and I get an idea of what he’s implying. Asshole.

“I don’t have a clue. I’ve gotten a couple of threatening notes in the past few weeks, which I’ve reported to you, but I don’t know why I’m getting them.”

Officer Brady frowns at his partner and then looks back at us. “I’ll get the information on the letters and add it to our case file. I’d be surprised if they weren’t connected in some way. I’m sorry this happened to you. We’re going to do our best to go through the scene for any potential evidence, but unfortunately, the amount of damage done will likely impede our findings.”

“We understand. We appreciate you doing what you can,” Sam says. “We’re going to stay out here for the time being if that’s okay. Please let us know if there’s anything we can help you with.”

Officer Brady nods at us and turns to head back into my house. The other officer whose name I didn’t catch follows without a word to us.

“What an asshole,” Sam whispers.

I huff. “You got the same vibe?”

“Oh, yeah. I couldn’t tell for a second if he was homophobic or jealous.”

“Probably both.”

Sam tips his head. “Probably. Come on. Let’s grab our double lawn chair and sit in the shade while we wait on the cavalry.”

“The cavalry?” I frown.

“You know Adam has already called in your family to come with him.”

I grimace. “Right. Guess you’re about to meet the whole clan. Feel free to make a run for it while you can.”

“Nah, there’s no place else I’d rather be.”

Mom runs her hand down my head for the millionth time. She’s been sitting in the lawn chair with me while Sam, my brothers, and Dad go through my stuff. I feel like a sissy because I have no desire to go back into my house right now.

The police left about twenty minutes ago with the little evidence they were able to collect. The guys have been inside ever since.

“Mom, you’re going to make him go bald if you keep messing with his hair,” Sara comments.

“You hush. He needs extra love right now.”

“Yeah, I need extra love.” I wink at my sister, who rolls her eyes.

“Tell us more about Sam.” The giddiness on Sara’s face makes me clam up immediately. When they arrived at my house, Mom and Sara gushed over him. They asked him a million questions until Adam had to remind us why they were here in the first place. I can only imagine the interrogation happening in the house right now.

“How about no?” I counter.

“Oh, come on, C. Just a tiny detail? Or maybe a not-so-tiny detail?” She waggles her eyebrows.

“Sara Ellis!” Mom chastises.

“What? I was talking about his personality.”

I bark out a laugh. “We’re dating, and it’s going well. That’s all you’re getting from me.”

“I guess that’s good enough.” She winks.

“You’re happy?” Mom asks in a soft voice.

“Very.”

Mom squeezes me into a side hug. “Good.”

Cindy Ellis has always been my biggest supporter. From the moment I was born, she has encouraged me to seek out my own interests, even when they didn’t align as closely with my siblings. When they wanted to do karate, I found a computer programming class I was interested in. The summer they wanted to try baseball, Mom let me sit in the stands and read instead. Soccer was just about the only sport we could all agree on.

I’ll never forget what she said to me when I came out to her. We were in Sonoma, in our kitchen, in the house I grew up in. My dad was sitting right next to her, and she pulled me into a hug and said, “From the minute you were born, you’ve been special, Carter. One day, I hope this conversation won’t be necessary for any kid, but I’m so proud you had the courage to tell us.”

I was already on the verge of bawling, and my dad went and added his two cents, saying, “We only want you to be happy, son. No matter how that looks, it’s the only thing that matters to us.”

Sara, my mom, and I sit in silence for the next half hour while we wait for the guys to be done. When they come striding out of the house, I can tell Adam has a head of steam brewing. The grooves between his forehead are deep, and I bet his jaw is clenched hard enough to crack a molar.

“Who the fuck would do this to you?” Adam practically growls the question.

I shrug. “I have no clue. I thought maybe Chase was doing this, but Jeffery said that he was in Greensboro this weekend.”

“Fuck!” Adam shouts.

Sara stands from her chair to hug our brother to try to calm him down. Mom didn’t even get on to him for cursing.

“This fucking sucks. I’m really sorry, Carter.” Nolan squeezes my shoulder.

“People are so fucking shitty,” Sara adds, which seems to tip Mom over the edge.

“Okay, potty mouths. That’s enough cursing for a while, please.”

Her mothering diffuses the anger building around us, and we all end up laughing instead. Sam places his hands on my shoulders and starts to massage. I have to hold in the groan that tries to escape.

I tip my head back to look at him. He’s so fucking handsome it’s hard to take it all in sometimes.

“I got some clothes packed up for you. They left most of that stuff alone. Your pillows and bedding were all destroyed, but they didn’t touch your closet.”

“Thank you.” I grab his hand on my shoulder.

“Do you think they were looking for something?” Dad asks me.

I shake my head. “I don’t have a clue. It’s not like I own anything of value.”

“If this was random, they likely wouldn’t have known that,” Adam says.

“I don’t think it was. I got a couple of threatening letters that didn’t make sense to me. I gave them over to the police, but I still don’t know what they mean.”

My family stares at me in horror.

“You didn’t think that was something we should know?” Adam’s anger returns in full force. “I thought we’d learned from the mess with Sara.”

“This isn’t the same. I was never in physical danger until this happened,” I protest.

“I thought the same thing, brother. Look where that got me.” Sara raises an eyebrow.

“Fair enough,” I acquiesce. Last year, Sara was kidnapped by her stalker. She’d received notes like I got, and she never told anyone about what happened until her stalker broke into her house.

“I swear to tell you all if something else happens,” I promise.

“In the meantime, you’re going to come stay with us, right?” Mom asks.

I glance at Sam, who’s smirking at me. “Yeah, but just until I can get all my stuff cleaned up and replaced.”

“I’ll take it,” Mom says triumphantly.

Adam hands me the list of things I’ll need to send to my insurance company. It’s overwhelming, but I’m glad I didn’t have to do this by myself. Then my family says goodbye to me and Sam before climbing into their cars to head home.

I turn in Sam’s arms that haven’t left my body and dig my nose into his neck. “Thank you for dealing with my crazy family for me.”

“I was happy to do it. They’re really great, Carter.”

“Yeah, they’re pains in the ass, but I love them. How bad was the interrogation in the house?”

“We didn’t talk much while we were in there. I think they knew now wasn’t exactly the time to get to know me.” He presses a kiss to my temple. “I wish I didn’t have a shift tomorrow.”

“Me, too. I’d much rather stay with you than my parents.”

Sam laughs at the disgust in my voice. “How about you stay with me when I’m off?”

“Sounds like a plan.” I pull back just far enough to kiss him. “I owe you a shower.”

“And I will collect on it.”