10. Carter

Itwirl my pasta with my fork, gathering a bite of chicken to go with it. La Mensa’s Alfredo cannot be beaten. I’ve tried many times to recreate it with no success. My sauce is fine, but it will never be as good as La Mensa’s.

“As much as I wish dinner would’ve worked out, the breadsticks more than make up for it,” Sam says as he takes a giant bite. He hums, and the sound sinks right to my belly. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about our kiss earlier. He swept me up so quickly that it made me dizzy. I could’ve kissed him for hours without a care in the world.

“My sister is addicted to these things. I’m pretty sure she could eat them every day and never come close to being sick of them.”

“She still lives here in Sonoma, right?” Sam asks.

“Yeah, she’s the only one of us to stick around in our hometown. Even our parents moved to Westlake after Nolan came home from college and decided to live there, too. Luckily, it’s only twenty minutes away, so we’re still able to hang out regularly.”

“She’s still with the vet, right?”

“Yeah, she and Ben and still going strong. All of my siblings except Nolan have partners now.” I’m not sure I could hide the wistful tone in my voice if I tried. There’s no doubt I’m happy for my siblings. They deserve all the happiness they’ve found in their significant others, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous. I’ve always wanted to find that perfect person for me. The one I could rely on to be my sounding board when my head is full of every illogical worry possible.

“Is that something you want?” Sam’s question is hesitant, as if he’s either worried about my answer or how I’ll take the question.

“Having a partner?”

He nods.

“I can’t deny it’s something I’ve envied when I see how happy my siblings are. But I’ve sort of resigned myself to the idea that I’ll likely never find the same thing. There aren’t many gay men in this area, and the few who live here are either taken or assholes.”

Sam hums in agreement. “I know exactly what you’re talking about. And the scene in Greensboro isn’t any better.”

I snort. “It’s almost worse there.” I’ve done my fair share of going out in the city, and let’s just say the guys there are better for a quick night of release and nothing more.

Sam gives me a look of commiseration. It’s the first time I’ve felt someone truly understands the experiences I’ve had. I can share silly stories with my siblings all day long, but no matter how accepting they are, they’ll never get the emotional toll it takes on me to be gay in a small town.

“If you could choose your perfect future without any of the bullshit getting in your way, what would it look like?” Sam asks.

I blow out a breath at the thought. Before I can even think about it, my answer comes spewing from me. “I’d have a man I could count on no matter the situation. Good or bad, I want to know he’d be there by my side through it all. My moonshot goal would include a kid or two and a backyard where we could have my family over for bonfires or something.”

“That. I’ve never been able to put my dream into words, but what you just described is exactly what I’d want.”

Our gazes meet in a heavy moment of silence as the implications of what we’ve confessed cover us like a blanket of hopes and desires we’ve kept close to our chests. Emotions arc between us, and the image of him chasing a little blonde-headed kiddo through our house punches me straight in the solar plexus.

I clear my throat, breaking the intensity and giving myself a chance to take a deep breath. “You ready for dessert?”

“Yeah,” Sam says quietly. “What kind of cookies did you make?”

I get up and gather our plates to help clean up a little. “I call them monster cookies, mostly because they’re ginormous. They’ve got chocolate chips, pretzels, and Mamp;M’s.”

Sam opens the container and groans. “They smell fucking fantastic.”

Huffing out a laugh, I grab a couple of napkins and sit back down next to Sam. We eat our cookies in comfortable silence. Baking isn’t something I’m great at, but I have perfected this recipe. It’s the best combination of salty and sweet.

“These are amazing. Where did you get the recipe?”

A blush creeps into my cheeks. “I… um… created it myself.”

“Shut the fuck up. You did not.” He scoffs.

I grin at him. “I swear I did. I was craving something salty and sweet one night, and all I had was a bag of pretzels and some chocolate chip cookies. It tasted way better than I thought it would, so I started experimenting with combining the two foods.”

“You can cook, too, can’t you?”

I give him a sheepish look while I nod my head. It makes him groan.

“And here I thought making lasagna was fancy. Then I went and ruined it by forgetting to start the timer. How embarrassing.”

Reaching out, I rub his shoulder. “No. It was incredibly thoughtful. The only person who ever cooks for me is my mom. It’s always me cooking for others. Well, really, just Nolan. He likes to randomly show up at my house for dinner.”

“Maybe you can give me some lessons. I’d like to learn some other things to make. Usually, I just grab shit from the freezer or grill.”

“I’d be happy to teach you.”

His soft smile makes me lean in to kiss him. I’ve been trying to keep myself from mauling him since we finished dinner, but I can’t hold back any longer.

He tastes like the chocolate we just ate, and I deepen the kiss, needing to taste more of him. How his kisses make me fizz like a can of sparkling water every time will never cease to amaze me.

Sam hums against my lips, sending a shiver down my spine.

“You’re dangerous,” Sam whispers.

“Why?”

“I’m about to get addicted to you, and once that happens, there won’t be any going back.”

“What if I don’t want to go back?”

“Then you’ll never have to.” He stands from his stool and holds his hand out to me.

His hazel eyes reflect every emotion I’m feeling right now, and with anyone else, I’d be shitting my pants with nerves—instead, a sense of calm washes over me with the knowledge that I’m not alone.

I place my palm against his and let him lead me upstairs.

Okay, maybe I was a little hasty in saying the nerves weren’t there anymore. Am I really about to have sex with the man I’ve had a crush on for the past year? Every fantasy I’ve ever had about him starts flashing through my brain like a Rolodex. How am I supposed to pick just one? What does he want to do with me? Oh, God, I’d let him do whatever he wants as long as I get to see him naked.

We finally walk through his bedroom door, and I give the huge suite a cursory glance. The navy blue and grey décor doesn’t hold a candle to the sexy-as-hell firefighter standing in front of me.

“You okay? I thought we’d be more comfortable up here, but if it’s too much, we can go back downstairs,” Sam says.

I launch myself at him, and we land on the bed in a tangle of limbs and kisses.

“I’ll take that as a yes, then.” Sam laughs at me. I grin down at him, taking in every feature of his face. His strong jaw, slightly crooked nose, and hazel eyes mesmerize me. I want to explore every inch of his body. I want to know if he has any tattoos or scars I can’t see.

He gently slides my glasses off my nose and places them on the side table where they’ll be out of danger of getting smashed. Then Sam starts to undo the buttons of my shirt until the sides are open enough for me to slide the material down my shoulders.

I return the favor, grabbing the hem of his shirt and pulling it up his body. He sits up to help me get the tight material off before he lies back down. My hands immediately go to his chest. The small smattering of chest hair tickles my palms, and I lean over him to lick a line from the middle of his chest to his collarbone.

“Fuck,” Sam grunts.

“Have I told you that you smell amazing?” I run my nose up his neck to take a deep whiff. Whatever aftershave he uses makes him smell like rain in the middle of summer. It’s delicious.

Sam grabs my head and pulls me into a deep kiss full of longing and desire. My hips roll to grind my hard length against his, sending a burst of heat through my body.

“You feel so good,” I murmur against his mouth. Sam’s hands glide down my sides, his fingers digging into the waistband of my pants. Sweet relief comes swiftly as he opens my fly, followed quickly by a shudder of need. His rough palm cups my shaft, and I’m immediately on edge.

“Sam,” I whimper. His thumb swipes across my head, smearing the pre-cum across my skin and making me buck my hips.

“You feel incredible in my hands. Like I always knew you would.” His words are a breath against my ear, making goose bumps rise on the back of my neck.

Needing some distance to keep from shooting off too soon, I lift my body from his and reach for the button on his shorts. With a quick tug, I have the last of his clothes off and thrown on the floor.

My teeth dig into my bottom lip at the sight of him bare. The light dusting of hair on his legs leads to a neat thatch of blond curls around his hard cock. I lean over and repeat my earlier movement of running my tongue up his body. Only this time, I stop at the crease where his thigh meets his torso.

“Look at you. You’re like my walking wet dream.” I look up Sam’s body to find his heated eyes locked on me. “What do you want?”

“You. In any way I can have you.” His voice is as rough as gravel.

I drop my head to continue my explorations with my mouth. The tip of my tongue traces over every vein, memorizing the spots that make him shudder. When he’s pulsing and the head of his cock is purple with need, I wrap my lips around him.

His hips nearly fly off the bed as he tries to bury himself deep in my throat. I drop to my elbows, giving him permission to fuck my mouth the way he’s dying to.

Sam’s fingers thread through my hair, and his hips begin to move in careful strokes until I suck him hard. He loses all sense of control, sending his cock shuttling into my throat. I breathe through my nose despite the tears leaking from the corner of my eyes.

“Gonna come. Baby… Jesus Christ.” Sam’s body shakes as he comes down my throat with short pulses of his hips until he relaxes onto the mattress with a sigh.

I pop up as quickly as I can to straddle his hips, grabbing my raging hard-on with a tight fist at the same time.

Sam makes eye contact with me, and the second our gazes meet, thick ropes spurt out of me and onto his chest. I shiver with aftershocks from the power of my orgasm, my chest heaving as I try to catch my breath.

“Damn, you’re a vision when you come,” Sam says with awe in his voice. “I want to see you do it again.”

“Give me twenty minutes to recover and I’ll see what I can do.” I grin at him.

“Bet I could get you ready in ten.” His cocky smirk makes my insides flip.

“I’ll take that bet.”

Sam sits up, careful of the mess on his stomach. “Then come shower with me.”