31. Chapter 31

31

Hope

I saw Dad last night. He was at a bar with friends who looked as drunk as him. But the worst was the sight of him slapping a woman's ass, and then kissing her. It was disgusting. I can't believe he so easily cheated on Mom. I watched it happen right in front of my eyes.

However, when he looked at the window of the bowling alley, I swear it was like my soul left my body.

Luckily, I got home before him. He came in late, and I heard him fumbling around the place, probably looking for a bottle. But he didn't make it up to my room. Perhaps, he couldn't. Whatever the reason was, I'm glad. It'd be a lie if I said I had a good sleep. I haven't had a good sleep since our first encounter a month ago. He haunts me in my reality and dreams. A couple of hours is all I can manage which leaves me tired all day.

I'm at the library, reading the fifth Harry Potter book, but I can barely concentrate. I fight back another yawn as I look out the window for Heath's car. He's supposed to be here by now. It's ten a.m.

Maybe he isn't going to come.

He probably has something to do.

He could be asleep.

What if he forgot?

Doubts pop into my brain and the sadness grows.

My eyes trace the words on the page, but I can't pay attention to a single word.

I read it again, but it doesn't matter. Heath is all I can think about.

A horn blares outside and my head turns to the window.

Right across the street, leaning against the black McLaren is Heath. Black shirt, jeans, and Converse, he's dressed the same as every day, yet the sight of him makes me forget how to breathe. He's so breathtakingly handsome.

He peeks inside and our eyes meet. We stare at each other for what feels like minutes, but actually, it's only a couple of seconds.

He tilts his head to the side and gestures for me to come out.

Grabbing my bag, I throw in my book and hurry outside to not make him wait.

Heath straightens when he sees me. His blue eyes fix on me as I cross the road and stand in front of him.

The bitter smell of the cigarette wafts off him strongly. With the way he looks so calm and collected, there's no doubt he's had a couple of them.

"Hi," I say, stepping back because I can't handle the bitter smell.

"Hi," he says softly, but his eyes are anything but that. The hue of his blue eyes is just blue. There's no emotion in them. Nothing. Just emptiness.

He's not the Heath I know.

The realization painfully tugs my heartstrings. But I plaster on a fake smile. Maybe what I have in mind will cheer him up.

"C'mon. We should go. It's Saturday. The place will be packed."

The lack of response and emotion dims me, but I promise myself that I'll make this day good for him.

I ruined it.

Remember what I said earlier? Forget it.

I didn't make his day any better.

I thought going to an arcade would cheer him up, but it did nothing.

Heath is extra quiet today. At the arcade, he barely said a word to me and made no effort to join me in games. Instead, he stood behind me and watched me play all the games.

By afternoon, we exited the arcade. I took us to a diner where we—I—ate food. Heath just sat back and looked out the window. For every question I asked he either gave me a short answer or silence. No facial expression. Nothing.

The whole time I felt like I was having a one-way conversation. He didn't participate even a little bit, which is so unlike him. He didn't even ask me what Harry Potter book I was on.

His bleak face and soulless eyes were the highlight today.

I slump downhearted when we walk out of there.

My parents think I'm at the library studying for some big test. It was the only way I could get out of the house with a valid excuse.

Dad watched me closely and I almost had a nervous breakdown.

However, from the looks of it, Heath had more fun staring at the sky than going to an arcade with me.

We're on the curb when he goes to open the door for me, but I grab his hand. He stiffens but he doesn't pull away from me.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

Cold blue eyes turn to me. "Nothing."

"I know you said you don't celebrate your birthday, and it's nothing special. I just thought…"

"You could make it special?"

I nod. "Yeah."

Heath stares at me, then laughs. A laugh that has no humor in it.

He rips his hand out of my hold and runs it through his messy dark hair.

With a hard scowl, he says, "You're like everyone else. Trying to change me."

"Change you? No. I just want to help—"

"I don't need your fucking help." He raises his voice as he glares at me.

Every part of me shudders at his icy tone. It's the first time he's talked to me this way.

Digging knives at me through his piercing stare he moves closer. "I'm not broken, damaged, or whatever the fuck you think I am. Just because we're friends doesn't mean you know me. You know shit."

That detached voice slashes through my heart.

When I say quiet in surprise, he continues, "Arcade, lunch, what the fuck were you thinking dragging me to those places? You think I'm two?"

I shake my head, feeling horrible and embarrassed.

He shakes his head. "I can't believe I wasted half of my day doing this crap. You made it worse than it already is. Leave me the fuck alone."

Tears fill my eyes, but I keep them at bay. I fight really hard to not let a single one drop.

Reaching inside his car, I get my bag. I'm about to close the door when I remember his present. The present I spent a lot of time on.

Taking it out, I put it on the dashboard and start walking toward the library.

Heath doesn't stop me. I don't want him to.

This was a terrible idea. What I didn't know was how badly it'd backfire on me.

Yes, all that we did today was not out of this world. I went an easy route. A simple place and diner that would make him happy because it usually does. But I was so stupid. So very stupid.

I should have known this. After all, I haven't had friends. I don't know the first thing about being a friend. Much less how to make someone feel special on their birthday.

I enter the library being a mess.

Luckily no one is around.

I shuffle to my corner in the back. I hide behind a book rack and bring my knees to my chest.

Marie's call lights up my phone screen but I ignore it.