29. Chapter 29

29

Hope

It's Friday night, almost a week after I went to Marie's house. It's evening and I'm writing an English paper when my phone pings.

Heath: Come outside.

Hope: Why?

Heath: No time to ask fucking questions.

Hope: What does that mean?

Heath: It means I'm fucking waiting to take you somewhere.

Hope: What?

Heath: I don't have the answer to that.

Hope: Are you really outside my house?

Heath: No, I sent my fucking copy.

Hope: Where's your original body?

Heath: In your room.

I search my room like a dumb person, even though I know Heath isn't there.

I've lost my mind. I mean if he were here, I'd know. My body reacts when he's close to me.

Hope: I checked. Your original copy isn't here.

Heath: Did you look under your bed?

Hope: Wait a sex.

Hope: Sex.

Hope: SEC. I MEANT SEC.

Hope: Freaking autocorrect.

Heath: Are you sure?

Oh my God.

What does that mean?

Is he flirting?

What should I reply?

I hope he doesn't think I want sex.

I DO NOT.

Hope: Yes. It was a mistake.

Heath: Come outside. I'm not going to wait for you all night.

Getting off my bed, I stumble on my way as I hurry to the window and peek outside. Heath is standing against his black car and looking up at my window. He's parked in front of Nadina's house who's staring at him from the front porch.

Hope: I can't go with you.

After I came home from school Dad was leaving with some men. I've never seen them before, so I don't know who they are and why they came to our house. It's been two hours since he left, he'll be home any minute now. If he doesn't find me in my room, I can only imagine what will happen to me.

Heath reads the text, glances up at me, then starts typing.

My phone pings in my hand.

Heath: I'll get you home by 8.

My first thought is to think about the scenarios if I get home late. All end with the same results. Bruises .

A shiver runs down my spine and a chill settles deep into my bones. Fear.

Hope: Where are we going?

Heath: Get in the car and I'll tell you.

Hope: That's not assuring.

Heath: Do you trust me?

Hope: Yes.

Heath: Then get your ass down here.

Much to my reluctance, I shuffle away from the window to get ready. After spending time with Marie at her house, I've realized I like it when I'm with these people. They are nice to me and make me laugh. I have a good time with them, despite how short our moments are and how fast they go by. When I'm with them I feel less lonely.

I don't know when I decided to not feel lonely anymore. I want to be with people—these people. I want to be surrounded and not be alone in my room.

Opening my closet, I grab some nice clothes and quickly change into them. When I stand in the bathroom I make an effort to look pretty by applying mascara and a bit of lip gloss.

You're doing this because Heath is picking you up.

Maybe I am. I'm not a hundred percent sure how he feels about me, or how I feel about him, but there's something and I want to find that out.

Racing downstairs I leave the house as quickly as possible and check the street multiple times in case Dad is walking home.

When I stop in front of Heath he straightens to his full height that towers over me. Like always he's in all-black attire; black jeans, black T-shirt, and black Converse. And as always he looks deadly and handsome.

He locks eyes with me, then runs them all over me.

When I shiver because of his steady gaze he opens the door for me, and I slip inside.

I look over at Nadina, but she's focused on Heath. She gestures to him to come forward and he complies. She talks to him and all he does is nod his head.

Five minutes later he joins me. As he pulls out of my neighborhood I try to make myself small, so Dad doesn't see me in passing. If he caught a glimpse of us, I'd have hell to pay.

It's only when we're a couple of blocks away that I'm able to breathe properly.

"What was Nadina saying?"

"Why were you hiding yourself?"

I smile. "I asked first."

Heath rolls his eyes. "I can't tell you."

My smile drops. "All right. Can you at least tell me where we're going?"

"Bowling alley."

"Really?" Excitement fills me.

"Yes."

"I've never been to a bowling alley before."

"That's what I thought," he mutters under his breath as he parks the car in the parking lot that's filled with cars.

Since we live in a small town, it takes us little time to reach places which is a good thing because I travel mostly on foot. If I were to walk to school that was thirty miles away I'd pass out somewhere in the middle for sure.

I'm counting money in my small wallet when the door to my side opens. I look up at Heath who gestures at me to get out. So impatient.

I slip my wallet into my jeans pocket and get out.

"Marie and Sebastian are already inside," Heath informs me before he starts walking ahead of me.

We walk inside the building that's big and lit up with neon strips and fluorescent lights. It's so bright and loud inside. Music is playing over the hum of the boisterous crowd of teenagers that fill the place.

I see groups of guys lurking in corners sipping cans and checking out girls. A few of them turn my way and I immediately go all red.

How quickly can I hide?

On instinct, I move closer to Heath and bump into his shoulder. He stops walking and looks at me with a frown. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I mutter. Not knowing how to tell him that I feel uncomfortable because a group of boys are leering at me. My social anxiety kicks in and all I want to do is find a corner and read my book—become invisible.

His gaze runs over my head. I notice how his eyes darken, and he sends a death stare to the group.

I startle when I feel his hand touch mine. Slowly, one finger at a time, he holds my hand until our palms are pressed together and my hand is engulfed in his big one. My breath hitches and my pulse skyrockets to the sky.

"Let's go." He leads me deeper into the hall.

The warmth of his skin and the feel of his big hand are all I can focus on. I feel his rough calluses from fighting and working out. I also feel his thumb running back and forth on the back of my hand in assurance.

It probably means nothing, he's being considerate, but still, my mind decides that he's doing it because he cares about me.

"Here you are." Marie advances for a hug the second she sees us. When her arms wrap around my body, Heath lets go of my hand.

I twitch my hand, missing the heat and safety it provided me.

A single touch shouldn't be able to affect me this much, but it's Heath we're talking about. He's affected me since day one. There's just something about him that makes me feel like characters do when they catch feelings for their love interest.

I know it so well, after all, I've read so many romance books. When it comes to myself I become as clueless as a non-reader which is a shame.

If only I could read his thoughts and understand him. It'd make it so easy for me to listen to the words he doesn't say or read the words that hide behind his eyes.

I decide I will understand him.

I want to.

Like he understands me.

"It'll be fun," Marie squeals. "Let's go and play."

I've never been anywhere except for school and the library. My whole life only orbits around those two places and nowhere else. Now being able to hang out with these three people, I feel like I've missed out on so much in life. I might as well be the last one in the race while everyone else is so far ahead of me.

Truth is, that distance has never bothered me. Books took me to places, and I lived voraciously through them like I was the main character. I've been to countries, cities, towns, and places all the while sitting on my bed and reading the words. Words . I know how powerful they are—they can fly you anywhere in the world or other worlds like a ride on a magic carpet. You get to see everything and experience every adventure and feel emotions that you've never even thought about.

I do feel bad about not living enough like others have, but I've also lived in ways that they haven't. I suppose that counts for something.

I check the time on my phone. 6:15 p.m.

Marie and Sebastian hurry to the counter to pay, leaving Heath and me behind like they normally do. I notice how they're always trying to bring us closer which works every time. Like right now.

Heath stands beside me with a brooding face. His blue eyes look cold as they lock on me.

"You okay?" he asks.

"Yes, I'm fine." I shoot him an assuring smile, despite the turmoil swirling inside of me.

I'm worried about what will happen to me once I get home.

Heath stares at me as if he can read my mind. I quickly look away.

"What book are you on?"

I smile. Books are my favorite thing in the world, and he knows that.

"Book four."

"And are you enjoying it?" Heath leans against the wall and folds his arms. The black material of his T-shirt stretches across his arms and chest. I miss his question. All my attention seems to move over his fit, lean body.

Tilting his head to one side, he says, "You're giving me that look again?"

"Huh?" I look at him, feeling my mouth dry.

Oh my. I was drooling over him. What is wrong with me?

"The look," he states in a gravelly voice that I feel deep in my stomach.

"What look?" I frown.

Striding toward me, he stops in front of me, then bends down so his face is a few inches away from mine.

" The look , Rose."

"I don't understand."

With a smirk playing on his lips, he tucks my hair behind my ear. "The fuck-me look, Rose."

Wait what? I open my mouth to deny him, but no words come to me.

Oh my God. This is worse.

Say something.

Anything.

"I…I…"

Slowly he pulls back. "Don't worry. I'm not fucking you until you ask me to."

My jaw opens in surprise.

"We got it guys," Marie speaks from behind us.

The spell breaks and I step away from Heath, but his gaze follows me.

"We also placed the food orders." She points to a lane. "That's for you and Heath."

"Aren't we all going to play solo?" I ask her quietly.

She smiles and I see the speck of mischief in her hazel eyes. "We are going to play in duos. Since Heath and Sebastian are good and we both aren't. Sebastian will play with me and Heath will play with you." She frowns in worry. "Is that okay with you? If you want I can play with you—"

"No, it's fine." Seriously. There's no way I'm separating her from her boyfriend. She told me she likes spending time with him.

Besides, it's not like I don't like spending time with Heath. In fact, I like it. More than I should.

Sebastian comes beside Marie. Squeezing her ass, he kisses her forehead. Love shines brightly in his green eyes as he looks down at her reminding me of a certain couple I've read in one of my books—Ethan and Stella from Love in Notes.

Heath clears his throat. "We are here to have fun and not to witness a make out session."

Marie rolls her eyes.

"The word fun exists in your vocabulary?" Sebastian comments, with a smirk.

"It does. I just don't take the definition you do." Heath scowls hard.

Marie ignores him. "Hope, have you been here before?"

"Never."

Her features soften. "There's always a first time for everything. Don't worry. We'll practice a little and then play a match. Whoever wins will get a chance to give a dare to the losing team." Marie claps her hands excitedly, and Sebastian kisses her temple.

"What kind of dare is allowed?" Heath smirks, looking at Marie.

She jabs her finger in his chest. "Don't think about scaring me with frogs. You know they freak me out."

He nonchalantly lifts his shoulder. "That thought didn't even cross my fucking mind."

Marie glares at him, and when it doesn't work, she turns to Sebastian. "Promise me he won't scare me with frogs. You know I get—"

"Of course he won't, babe. Relax." He rubs her shoulders in assurance.

Heath groans. "Way to kill the vibe, Bash. If I remember correctly, it was fucking fun, and you were laughing your ass off."

A smile splits on Sebastian's face, but he stifles it when Marie stares at him wounded. "It won't happen again, Marie. I promise. You can always trust me."

Marie grins and turns to Heath. "Hah! You heard him."

Heath turns to me. "What are you afraid of?"

I stiffen. My dad.

Of course, I can't say that.

"Um…spiders…lizards and mice," I tell him.

"Why?"

"Uh, because when they see you, they come at you," I say as if it's pretty obvious.

"She's so right!" Marie adds quickly.

Heath's stony face breaks and a tiny smile dances on his lips. "That doesn't fucking happen."

"It does," I argue.

"You have it fucking wrong."

"No. She's right." Marie jumps to my defense. "Also, Hope and I both have a curfew so we should start playing. I don't want to leave without beating you." She sends me an apology.

"I'm not losing to you, Blondie," Heath replies, confident as ever.

Before they can talk further, Sebastian steers her toward their lane that's a few lanes down from us.

"Looks like it'll be us."

"You okay with that?" I ask, looking up at Heath.

At the same time, he looks down at me. "Why wouldn't I be? You're not half as annoying as others."

A laugh bursts out of me. Only Heath would compliment me this way.

"Only half? I thought I'd be more than that since we spend so much time together."

He rolls his eyes and starts walking toward his best friends. "Don't get ahead of yourself now, Rose."

Rose . He's called me that eight now and each time the butterflies in my stomach have soared.

"Let's go."

The chances of us losing are high considering I've never been to a bowling alley before. There's no way I'll be able to land a perfect strike—it's just impossible.

With low spirits, I trail behind him like a kid lost in the crowd.

We stand at our assigned lane and Heath takes a black ball—no surprise, black is his favorite color. Getting in stance he throws the ball in one smooth move and straightens. I watch as it hits the pyramid of pins and knocks down every single one of them.

"That was perfect."

"I know."

Turning around he picks up a blue ball and hands it to me. I stare at it, clueless about which finger will go in which hole—okay that sounds dirty but it's not. Books might've messed me up.

I put the wrong fingers in the holes and Heath shakes his head.

Without hesitating, he guides my fingers in the right holes but doesn't let go of the ball as it's heavy.

Really. How do people make it roll like it doesn't weigh a thousand tonnes?

"If you let go it'll fall on my feet," I warn him.

"You'll get used to it." With that, he lets go.

Surprisingly, my fingers manage to hold it. I shoot him a proud smile. "You were right."

"I always am."

"That's not true."

"It is. Now concentrate." Placing a hand on my back he leads me to the lane and stands close to me. "Bend down and swing your arm back and forth. Once the ball comes forward, release it onto the lane with full force. Got it?" he asks with his lips dangerously close to my cheek. I nod. Although, I won't lie. I didn't listen to a single word of what he said as his hot breath was fanning over the side of my bare neck.

"I'm right here with you. Don't think about winning or losing. Just focus on getting it fucking right." He backs away from my face.

I'm able to take a breath that isn't filled with the intoxicating cologne he wears all the time.

I let out a deep breath and focus on the pins and the long lane.

Focus.

I can do this.

Following his instructions, I did as he told me. The ball travels down the lane and I get quite excited, but it only hits one of the pins and disappears.

"I don't think I can do this."

"We've just fucking started. This is your first time."

Heath runs a hand through his dark brown strands that look effortlessly styled. Even messy they're pointing in the right direction and only add to his appeal.

Taking my hand, he leads me to the ball rack where the ball I rolled appears.

"Try every one of them and tell me which one feels the lightest," he commands.

I'm busy trying out the balls as he watches me intently. I make eye contact with him and the moment our eyes lock I quickly look away.

Heath has always watched me with such a deep look in his blue eyes. It almost feels like being submerged in the bluest waves of the water and suddenly drowning doesn't seem like a bad idea.

One by one, I try different balls and weigh them until I find one that feels easier to hold.

Before I can tell him he's by my side and his eyes are glued to me.

My heart starts racing.

I press the ball to my ribcage and wrap my arms around myself.

"You look tired." He runs his gaze all over my face.

My lips part in surprise. I've been feeling weak lately. First I thought it was because I've been studying hard and writing assignments and completing homework, while also doing house chores, but I think it's more than that. I'm getting weak mentally. At school, I'm overthinking about what will happen when I get home and once I'm home I face the man who brings me pain and misery. I tried talking to Mom and that turned out so well—she told me to move out if I had a problem.

All this time I've been keeping all my secrets, fears, and sadness inside of me. Maybe now it's showing on my face and body. I can't hide anymore.

"I'm fine," I say.

"That's not what I fucking asked."

I give him a weak smile. "I've been staying up late to study. It's our last year. I want to get good grades."

"You already have good fucking grades, Rose."

"They can slip away."

"Not with you. You're smart as fuck."

This time, I smile genuinely. "Thanks."

"It wasn't a compliment, just a fucking fact."

I laugh. "What about your grades? Are they good?"

"I have A's in all of my subjects, except for Biology."

He has A's.

How come I didn't know?

He's indeed a mystery.

I move toward the lane, and he follows me with his black ball. We stand side by side and he goes first since his name comes first on the board above our head.

STRIKE!

I'm amazed by how skilled he is at almost everything. Is there something he isn't good at? Biology.

Then it's my turn. Only two pins down.

As I wait for the ball to appear, I turn to Heath who's waiting next to me when he can go for his turn.

"Um…I can help you with Biology. I can give you my notes or explain the chapters to you. Whatever it is…that you prefer." I'm so nervous.

"I'll be fine, Rose."

I freeze. "Oh… okay." I pause. "Yeah, sure. I…just thought—"

"You should help me?"

I nod.

Tilting his head to one side, he gives me a look. "How about you let me fucking help you ?"

What is he talking about? "I don't need help."

"With those fucking marks, I mean. Tell me and I'll make sure your fucking straightener doesn't fucking choke you again," he says in a deep voice that's filled with rage.

The ball almost slips out of my hands as I stare at him in complete shock.

Words disappear from my head. I don't know what to say to him.

It's not my straightener, it's my dad.

Heath looks about ready to kill someone. His blue eyes are heated, and his face is set in a granite-hard look that promises vengeance—just because someone hurts me.

"Will you tell me what really happened?"

I avoid his gaze. "It doesn't matter," I say and fiddle with the ball.

His hand catches my wrist, and he gently squeezes it, nudging me to look at him.

"Why doesn't it fucking matter?"

I think about all the reasons that it won't matter to him like it didn't matter to my mother. He won't believe me. Like she didn't. I'll be a burden for him. A situation he can't help me with but pity me.

I don't want his pity or worry.

I want him to like me without my burden.

"Because what happened doesn't bear any importance," I repeat the words that perfectly sum up how my mother made me feel about abuse. It. Is. Not. Important.

Heath stiffens. Tension radiates off his body in waves and hits me.

Then his thumb begins swiping over my skin. Back and forth. Back and forth. The action surges my numb nerves with electricity that bursts sparks into my blood, making warmth flow through me.

"It is fucking important, and it fucking matters , to me. You matter to me, Rose," he says softly.

I matter to him.

The shock from his words jostles me. I slip my hand out of his hold. "We…should practice."

I go first even though it's his turn.

I just can't stand in front of him when my heart is beating painfully fast, and my head is repeating his words on a loop. You matter to me, Rose.

Like before no pins hit the ground and I'm reminded just how terrible I am at this game—the absolute worst.

Heath is gazing at the pins. With a sigh, he moves his attention to me.

Striding closer, he gets behind me and my body immediately straightens. Gently, he grips my wrist with one hand and circles my waist with the other. A quiet gasp leaves my mouth.

My entire focus is on him and the way he holds me, so close and softly against his body.

"Relax," he whispers into my ear.

How am I supposed to relax when you're so close to me?

I try to loosen my muscles and lean more into him. At once, his hand on my waist tightens and his fingers dig into my skin lightly.

"This isn't relaxing, Rose."

"I'm trying," I murmur.

"You feel like I'm holding cardboard and not a pretty girl."

"Hey!" I turn to him and right there is his face. So close to me.

"I won't hurt you," he says.

"That's not it." It's the truth. I'm not afraid of him. Not even a little bit.

"Hmm. I find that fucking hard to believe."

I laugh. "I've never met anyone who uses the f-word this much."

A hint of smile delicately touches his mouth, and his eyes lose the heat from before as they drop to my lips. "I've never met anyone with such a beautiful laugh."

My breath hitches just as his fingers grip me a little tighter around my wrist.

He clears his throat and breaks the thread of tension between us.

"I'm going to teach you, so watch fucking closely." Heath lifts my hand that's holding the ball. He brings my right arm out, then swings it forward, and I release the ball. We both stare as all the pins hit the floor.

STRIKE!

"Oh my God. Did you see that?" I look back at him and find him staring at me rather than the pins.

"I did," he murmurs.

"I managed to land a strike. A strike!"

"Now you can easily take me down."

"You're better than me."

"Hey guys, are you done?" Marie is beside us.

I give her a nod. "Yeah."

"Let the games begin, then." Marie grabs both of our hands and takes us to Sebastian who has already set up the game with our names—well not exactly with our names. I'm sure it was Marie who got them down because they just reflect her.

Butterflyvenom (Marie)

Stormash (Sebastian)

Prettygirl (me)

Fuck (Heath)

"Why do I have a stupid name? Blondie," Heath asks.

"It's your favorite word," Marie replies.

Sebastian and I hold our smiles as Heath glares at her and she looks at him like there's nothing wrong.

"You could've used my gaming username, black shadow, " Heath argues with a scowl.

Marie shrugs. "I don't like that username."

"Too bad it's not yours."

"I wouldn't want it anyway. Mine is cool."

"Butterfly venom is cool?"

"The best."

"It's the most uncreative fucking name ever."

"I like it, and I don't care if you don't."

"Get my name changed."

She shakes her head with a goofy grin and instead picks up the ball. Before Heath can stomp over to the counter she's already rolled the ball, and it knocks down eight pins making my jaw hit the floor.

Heath forgets about the name change and instead meets my gaze with a knowing look. We have to fucking win.

"All the best losers," Sebastian teases as he walks past me. He's someone I don't talk to much. I mostly interact with Heath and Marie, but in our little interactions, he always smiles at me and is nice to me. It's enough for me to accept him as a friend.

When Sebastian swipes the floor with a smooth strike, I realize Heath and I will lose.

"You'll be fine. Just remember what I taught you," Heath says in a quiet, assuring tone.

I peek at him. "I'm sorry."

His expression hardens. "Don't fucking think about it, and instead have fun."

Walking up to the lane, I pick up the blue ball that is light in weight and is easier for me to throw. Gazing down at the lane, I do as Heath taught me. I manage to hit seven pins.

I glance back at Heath who gives me a nod.

"Nice ass." One of the boys from the group near our lane shouts at me. Others whistle and stare at me with big grins.

I freeze in my spot.

"What the fuck did you just say to her?" In a second, Heath strides to the guy, grabs him by his collar, and yanks him to him. "Stop looking at her, you asshole! You're making her uncomfortable."

The guy replies to Heath but I'm far away to hear what he says to him.

Sebastian rushes over to them and pulls back Heath who looks about ready to kill him. His fists are curled tightly, and his body is filled with tension. I can only see his back, but it's all I need to see to know he's ready to throw in the first punch.

"Hey, are you okay?" Marie stands next to me and holds my hand.

"I'm okay," I lie, but my fingers shake in her hold, and she looks at me.

"Boys are stupid. Don't mind him, okay. We all are here for you." She squeezes my hand.

We both turn to the group that steps back, as Heath exchanges a few words with them, and then returns to us. Sebastian says something to him and grins.

"Sebastian shut up!" Heath scowls at him.

Sebastian looks at me. "Are you okay?"

I give him a nod.

"If you aren't, you can tell me—"

"She can tell me," Heath interjects.

Sebastian grins.

"Heath, it's your turn. Hurry up," Marie says impatiently.

"Good luck," I mumble to Heath.

"I don't need luck." With that, he gets in stance, rolls the ball, and straightens. It all happened fast, but in my head, it happened slowly. I watched his muscles move and shift under his T-shirt, reminding me of the perfect body that hides beneath it.

A shot of him half-naked enters my head.

Don't think about his naked body.

His movements are flawless. I'm not surprised when he knocks down all the pins.

The game continues and our scores fluctuate.

Marie and Sebastian are good, winning points after points and increasing their total score. Between Heath and I, it's obvious he's great and I'm not. That luck I had for my first shot, disappears for the rest of the game. The rest of them are either gutter or cheap shots which drop our score.

Heath doesn't remark on how we're losing. He only gives me tips to get better. Even when I hit a few pins he gives me a nod which in Heath's language is a proud thumbs-up—I think.

Soon it's time for the last round and we already know who's going to win.

"Watch this, James," Sebastian tells Heath.

STRIKE!

I'm next and I knock down a few pins which makes me very happy.

When it's Heath's turn, he effortlessly lands a strike and pushes up our total score.

The game ends and the four of us stare at the scoreboard with various expressions. Marie grins, Sebastian smiles at her, Heath looks annoyed, and I feel bad for being terrible.

"We won!" Marie wraps her arms around Sebastian and hugs him hard. Then they share a sweet kiss that prolongs making me look away.

I turn to Heath. "I'm sorry that we lost."

"Did you have fun?" he asks, instead.

I grin big. "So much fun." It's true. I did have fun.

"Then it's a win," he says softly.

My lips part in surprise. That was not what I was expecting from him. Not at all.

"We are the winners, you are the losers," Marie sings.

Heath scowls in irritation and glares at her. "No need to rub it in our fucking faces."

"Let's go, the food is here," Sebastian states.