15. Chapter 15

15

Hope

"You don't ask for hugs. You take them."

I blame Marie for my actions. It's the only plausible reason why I ended up hugging Heath.

After he told me about his sister I couldn't help but console him in some way. He looked concrete like a wall, but I could see it in his eyes, the way he missed his sister. He didn't shed a tear, but that didn't mean he wasn't crying on the inside.

He was in pain. I saw it.

I can only imagine how he carries the weight of such sorrow with him every day. It must bury him some days, or perhaps every day. I know so little about him. Like a puzzle, there are so many pieces to him. With each encounter I gather a new piece, hoping to fit it somewhere in the giant picture. That day in the hallway when I first met him, he was rude and angry, now he's helping me. All the rumors and whispers I've heard about him in the past are like jagged, imperfect pieces that don't belong.

Lying in my bed, my mind keeps revolving around the guy who's the total opposite of the person I expected.

Heath appears so tall and muscular when he's standing next to me. He can snap me in half if he wants to, but with him being near I don't feel scared. I feel safe and comfortable.

I open the windows. Chill air sweeps in like an uninvited guest and greets me. I embrace it as I sit on the windowsill.

Dinner at his house was quiet. We didn't talk, even in the car when he dropped me off three hours ago. Since then, my mind has been replaying him.

Musky wood scent. Blue eyes. Dark hair. That's all I focus on for the rest of the night.

"Hope, did you know…" Marie prates about the game tournament she participated in with Sebastian and how they won second place. The rest of it fades into oblivion when I see Heath. He is leaning against his locker, with one strap of his bag slung over his shoulder as he stares at me.

"…we might participate another time." Marie stands in my way. "What are you looking at?"

My cheeks burn. "Nothing."

She turns around and we both look at Heath who's listening to Sebastian, but his gaze is on me.

A smirk appears on her lips. "I see now. It's Heath."

I fold my arms and don't answer.

"Did something happen between you two?"

"No."

Her eyes narrow. "My lie detector is catching signals."

"It can't . I'm not lying." I tightly hold my book that I haven't touched since yesterday.

She takes my wrist and leads me to the bathrooms which are empty. Closing the door with a thud, she blocks the path and stares at me with interest.

"Tell me. What is it?" She taps her foot impatiently.

Should I tell her?

Marie must've seen my reluctance, she steps closer with a soft expression on her face. "Someone taught me the rules of friendship. There are fifty of them. I'll teach all of them to you, though it'll take me a while. Anyway, one of them is, ‘Friends tell each other things.' That is if you want to."

"I want to, Marie." I lean against the sink to collect my thoughts. I never thought I'd find people who'd want to know about me. The reason why it's so hard to talk to them about myself and my feelings. I'm not used to it.

For the past sixteen years, I've been on my own. No friends. No cousins. No aunts and uncles. No grandparents. I've had very little contact with people. It's bewildering now that I'm thrown into a friend group that is close and tight. Some part of me doesn't want to be lonely anymore, but I don't know how not to be. It's ingrained in my DNA.

However, I need to take the step. I don't want to be the same lonely girl anymore.

I brief Marie on yesterday, excluding the fact Heath told me about his sister, wanting to keep that to myself. I bet she already knows.

"Oh my God. Heath made you an account and is helping you!" Marie shrieks in excitement.

My face burns up to a hundred degrees. "Yes."

"What's the account name? I need to follow you." Marie follows me and likes every single post. She also shares it to her account. "Why didn't you tell me? I could've helped you."

"I didn't know how to tell you. Heath and I were just talking. Somehow I ended up telling him. I wasn't going to tell anyone. I don't even know if it'll work."

She grabs my shoulder and demands my attention. " It'll work , I promise. I'll make sure it works." She speaks with such conviction even I manage to find some confidence in myself.

"Thank you, Marie."

"Always. Are you and Heath friends?"

I laugh in disbelief. "No."

"That's a bummer."

"He's just helping me."

She nods. "He helps people at the community center every weekend."

Disbelief fills me. "He does?"

She rolls her eyes. "Of course not. He's not that kind of person." Joining me against the sink she says, "I think he's got a thing for you."

I can't hold my laughter. "I don't think so."

"That's what everyone said when Sebastian was spending time with me."

Her words make me think, but I instantly block the process.

I don't want to believe in something and then lose my faith in it. I'd be delusional if I think Heath has feelings for me when he's never entertained a single girl in school. No matter how persistent they are he ignores them like plague. It's kinda contradicting as most guys with bad reputations are also involved in bed with multiple girls. Heath is nothing like that.

It'd be so easy to read his thoughts if there was a book about him. I'd be able to understand him better and find out if he has any feelings for me or not.

"It's not like that."

She smiles. "Time will tell." Taking my hand she adds, "I know you're not used to friends, but you can talk to me about anything. I'll never judge you or not listen to you." A sad look crosses her face, but I don't indulge in it. Mainly because I don't want to push her.

"You can tell me anything, too. I'll be there for you."

She pulls me to her, and I hug her back. It's the hug that reminds me of all the quotes I've read in books regarding friendships. Marie makes me believe in friendship.

Suddenly a group of girls walk in, and we separate.

"Is that Heath Travon outside?" One of them squeals.

"I think so. Let me check." The brunette peeks outside and turns around with a beaming smile. "He's still there. God, he looks so fucking hot. I wish he'd look at me."

"He wouldn't look at you." The tall blonde girl, Shian, walks to the mirror and adjusts her hair. "I bet he's waiting for me."

"They're so delusional," Marie whispers, then she says to them. "he's definitely not waiting for you."

Shian spares a condescending glance at Marie. "Who the fuck are you?"

"I'm Marie Anderson, his best friend." Marie folds her arms in a confident manner and doesn't back down.

Shian laughs and looks back at her friends. "Yeah sure, weirdo."

Marie takes a step forward, I pull her back. "We should go."

Taking our bags we exit as they whisper behind us. I've watched these girls being mean to others, but after a group of famous girls, just like them were expelled, people stopped bullying. There are strict repercussions if a single complaint is filed.

Heath straightens when he sees us. Like every day he's wearing all black and brooding like he hates the world.

His blue eyes fall on me and his face hardens. "I need to talk to you."

I look over at Marie and she's not there. I search the hallway, but she's gone. How did she get away so fast?

I check the time. "Class is about to start."

"You don't even listen to Miss Sheila," Heath deadpans.

"That's not true!" How does he know that?

A satisfied smirk curls on his lips. "I saw you doodling in your notebook."

I assault my lip to come up with a reply.

"C'mon." He takes me to his car outside. We pass the sycamore tree. I remember it was right here where I saw him that day. We've come so far now.

Opening the door for me, he gestures to me to get inside and then joins me.

"The whole night my phone was buzzing with notifications." His face turns cold.

I wince. "I'm sorry for that. I'll download Instagram and then you—"

"I'll put it on silent next time."

I purse my lips and fidget with my fingers. "Did you get any sleep?"

Heath pauses. "I don't sleep much."

That's all he's going to tell me.

As someone who's been struggling with sleep lately, I understand how hard it is when your mind is running a thousand miles per hour. There are so many directions your thoughts take you. I always end up with anxiety and fear. Two emotions that I hate feeling.

"You got some orders." He hands me the phone. I see messages from two people.

"That was fast." My spirits lift. I admit I didn't think this would work, but it looks like there's a chance. There's a little hope.

Not my name being a literal feeling. Arghhh.

"Your account is new. It'll be best to post daily if you want it to grow."

"I had no idea." I know so little about social media. My whole world revolves around books, books, and books. Sometimes music.

"I own a few accounts, so I know." He briefs in a monotone voice.

I don't ask him what he does with them—not that he'll share. He is private and keeps his secrets close. Even after weeks, I know so little about him. Not that I mind. I just think he'll tell me when he feels comfortable. Like yesterday.

I read the orders and write down their information in the back of my notebook.

"How exactly are you going to mail them?" Heath turns on the car and aims the AC fans in my direction.

"Mail."

"Do you have the money for that?" he asks skeptically.

"Yes. I sent them the item price plus delivery, so I won't be at a loss."

One side of his mouth quirks up. "Smart girl."

Two words and my entire body floods with heat.

I look everywhere but him, though he's focused solely on me. His attention makes my cheeks red and increases my heart rate.

"I'll pick you up after school to go to my place."

"I can get there on my own." I'm embarrassed that I have to take rides from him, and I don't give him back in any way. He's helped me so much, but I can't say the same.

His eyebrows furrow. "How would you do that? You don't have money for anything."

What!

He…did he really say those words to me?

I…

Why does my chest hurt?

Those cruel words pierce through my heart like a sharp knife meant to tear you apart.

I open my mouth to say something, anything, but no words come out.

All this time he was nice to me. I forgot he's known for being rude.

I'm so stupid. So stupid.

Without saying a word, I exit the car.