Chapter 26

CHAPTER 26

HANSLEY

F rom the first instant that I gain consciousness in the morning, a brief flash of dread jolts through me when I feel a body against mine. What have I done? But when I open my eyes and realize I’m in the hotel room, last night comes back and I relax with a smile.

It’s not that being in bed with Jessica was awful. Far from it. It’s that I know what kind of mixed message that would send, and I don’t want to do that.

Last night was… amazing. Surprising. We woke up sometime around three and fucked again. It was erotic—half asleep and filled with so much heat, I almost felt like I was living in a different time. A different world.

I press my lips to the top of Lemon’s head and wonder which Lemon I’m going to wake up to this morning. Is he going to be a dick and run? Will he be shy? Maybe the sassy man who walked in wearing a skin tight piece of fabric that I will dream about for a very long time.

My eyes droop and I doze for a while longer, my fingers running absently through his hair. I love his curls. They’re just long enough that I can get one to wrap around my finger. As if it’s hanging on.

I know he’s awake when he takes a deep breath. His eyelashes flutter and then his eyes open. He’s facing me and the windows, the curtains are half drawn with the overcast morning light streaming in. Lemon shifts, craning his neck to look at me.

For a second, we just stare into each other’s eyes. Maybe we’re both holding our breath. This is new territory for both of us. Not only was this the first time we actually fucked in a bed and not somewhere on campus, but we also spent the night together.

Lemon crawls up my body and presses his face into my neck, half draping over me. I roll us to our sides and wrap around him. “Good morning,” I murmur, pressing a kiss to his jaw.

He sighs. “Morning,” he whispers in return.

That’s the extent of our conversation first thing this morning. Instead, we lay wrapped in each other for a while, just breathing in our combined musk, sweat, and sex.

“What time do you leave?” I ask.

“Ten. You?”

“Not until noon.”

A beat passes. “Can I ask you something?” Lemon says.

I nod.

“What happens when we get back?” he asks quietly, then quickly adds, “There’s no pressure here. I mean, I want to keep doing this, but I know you’re going through… stuff, and I don’t want to add more to your stress.”

“Lemon,” I murmur and feel him stiffen. I strengthen my hold on him, pressing my lips to his collarbone. “I do too. But please understand that I can’t promise you a lot right now. The last thing I want to do is flaunt a relationship in front of Jessica. She doesn’t deserve that kind of hurt. As much as I’d like to say this divorce is going to be easy and quick, I have a feeling it’s not going to be either, though for different reasons than usual.”

He nods. “I, uh,” he pauses for a second. “Please don’t let me be an ass to you anymore,” he murmurs. “I’m so used to rejection that I think I create that environment because I’m scared. I think my insecurity manifests in dick mode in an attempt to protect myself. If no one gets close, then I can’t get hurt.”

His words break my heart. I’m not surprised that’s the case, though. Especially not in hindsight. He’s good to his students. Really good to them. But no one else is allowed to get close. He knows his players are temporary and they will leave within a specified window of time. Everyone else is more permanent and from what I’ve heard from others when they’ve talked about him, he doesn’t allow anyone in.

“That sounds lonely, Lemon.”

He huffs.

“I once read something that says all those who offer words of comfort that follow the thought ‘it’s their loss’ are very wrong. Those relationships end because they weren’t meant to be. It’s no one’s loss. You just weren’t right for each other. I have always chosen to believe that. But Lem, not all relationships need to end in rejection. Believe it or not, a lot of people on campus care about you, but they’re not willing to remain in your presence because you’re a little mean.”

Lemon snorts. “I’m not sure I believe that.”

“I heard about your crush on Alka when he started. And then on Declan when he was hired.” He tenses. “You know, just because they’re not interested in you romantically doesn’t mean that they don’t want to be your friend.”

“I don’t need friends,” he says quietly, and I know he’s just as afraid of rejection there as he is in any other part of his life.

Rolling him onto his back, I find his cheeks are flushed. His eyebrows knitted together. “I’m going to make this as clear as I can.” His lips part as he holds his breath. “I’m right here, where I want to be. I want to keep seeing you and doing this. No more dick mode, Lemon. If you become upset or insecure or have doubts, tell me. Even if it’s in text. Just tell me so I can assure you I’m right here. Okay?”

Lemon looks like he’s two seconds from crying. Leaning over him, I press my lips to his. “I’m not rejecting you. Not at all. But that doesn’t mean I’m in a position where I can be open about this either. You understand the difference, right?”

“Yes,” he says. His arms come around my neck.

“Tell me what I just said.”

I can feel him roll his eyes and I grin, nipping his jaw. “That you want to sneak around and steal kisses and orgasms without telling anyone.”

Sighing, I pick my head up to look at him. I can tell that he’s slightly teasing. “I don’t want to keep you a secret for any other reason than… you know what? Alka described his relationship with Roux as a well-known secret. They don’t hide it, but they don’t announce it either. They don’t deny it, but they don’t flaunt it. So yeah, some people—probably quite a lot of people—don’t know about it. But many people do. That’s what I need right now. Discretion. Maybe a little more than they have because I don’t want Jess to feel worse than she does. I really don’t want it to reach her for a while. Not forever, Lemon, just for a while.”

“So… you want to be with me?”

There’s a whole sea of vulnerability in his voice and while I really meant to not be that committed, as I look into his eyes, I realize that yeah, I want this man. I want him as my own. I want to keep him.

“Yeah, Lemon. I do.”

His eyes immediately get watery as he tries to blink through his emotions. His fingers dig into my arms.

Then we’re both jumping when a loud ringing fills the room. Lemon laughs as he sits up and wipes his eyes. I lean back to let him off the bed and he retrieves his phone from the chicken. “Hello?”

I watch his body covered in dried sweat. His stomach covered in dried cum. The way his muscles flex. His half-chubbed dick. His curls are a riot and his makeup is a sexy smudged mess on his face.

“I haven’t left the building. I’m here.” Pause. “Yes, I’ll meet you in forty-five minutes.” Pause. “Stop. I’ll be there in forty-five minutes!”

He hangs up and looks at me with a heavy sigh. Dropping his phone back into the chicken, he climbs on the bed to kneel in front of me.

“You okay?”

Lemon nods. “My sister. She thinks I ran off because I’m not in my room.” He rolls his eyes. “Can I use your shower?”

“Of course.”

He leans forward and presses a kiss to my lips. Then freezes. I cup the sides of his face and hold him there, kissing him harder. “I’m right here,” I remind him. “Right where I want to be.”

Lemon sighs and I’m rewarded with a shy smile. Then he slips from the bed and heads for the bathroom. “I’d ask you to join me, but I’d be late and probably miss my plane.”

I grin when he smirks at me over his shoulder. When he disappears around the corner, I see the light flip on and he gasps. “Oh my gawd, why didn’t you tell me I look like this? I can’t believe you saw me like this.”

“Your makeup a mess because we fucked so hard? Honey, that’s sexy as hell,” I tell him.

He huffs and the door closes.

While he’s in the shower, I clean up the used condoms off the floor and then the clothes we’ve strewn everywhere. I’ve pulled a pair of sweats on by the time he joins me in the room with a towel around his waist.

“Mmm,” I say, reaching for his hips and bringing him to me. “This looks awfully familiar.”

Lemon grins. The hand not holding his towel reaches behind my head and brings my face to his. I grip his ass, pulling his feet off the ground.

However, he pulls back. “I really do have to go.”

Reluctantly, I release him and watch as he somehow effortlessly climbs back into the sexy getup he had on last night. When he sees me watching him, he gives me a smirk. “You like this, do you?”

“I’m going to request you wear it again in my presence.”

He smiles widely. “I’ll take that request into consideration.” Lemon steps closer and his confidence wavers again.

I rest my forehead on his, taking his hands in mine. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Okay?”

“I feel like walking out of here is going to put an end to what we’ve… created over the last twelve hours.”

“It’s not, Lemon. Not at all. Promise.”

He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “Okay. Then I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Pressing my lips to his, I leave one last lingering kiss there. “Be safe. Tell me when you get home.”

His smirk is back as he turns to grab his chicken purse. “Okay.”

Then I follow him to the door and watch him walk out. He pauses just outside, but before I can peek around him, he’s pulling the door shut, saying, “What are you doing?”

The door shuts and I press against it to listen.

“I wanted to know where you’d gone. Look at you—walk of shame!”

I can practically hear Lemon rolling his eyes. “No, Sugar. Stride of pride! There’s no shame here. And if you had my night, you’d be giddy.” They disappear behind a door, and I find I’m smiling broadly.

But then I’m left in the room alone. A room that looks and smells like two people fucked all night. I pass through the shower and get dressed. I wait until just after ten to make sure Lemon and his sister have plenty of time to leave before I make my way down to the lobby.

Leo’s sitting at the dark bar on his phone. He looks up when I join him. “Hey, Coach. You missed breakfast, but they’d probably whip something up for you.”

With a yawn, I rub my face and shake my head. “I’ll grab something at the airport.”

“I’d make a comment about ‘ew, airplane food,’ but I think we all know we’re going to be getting snacks. Which is stupid for such a short flight.”

I chuckle.

My team trickles their way down to the lobby. As I’m loading them onto the bus, making sure that all their equipment and bags are accounted for, I receive a message alert. A quick glance tells me it’s from Lemon, which brings a smile to my face.

I can’t read it until we’re settled on the bus, though. When I do, I’m smiling like a schoolgirl.

Lemon Frost

I’m on the plane and safe so far.

Thank you. For all the nice things you say to me.

This is going to be a long half a day until I can see you again.

OMG, I didn’t just say that. Please don’t read the previous text. See you tomorrow!

I chuckle and click out of the app, leaning my head back and closing my eyes. My smile fades when I remember I need to call Jessica back when I get… home. Well, when I get to my truck, I guess. I’m not sure I really want to have this conversation at Alka’s. Not that I worry that they’ll eavesdrop, but it feels weird. Like I’m bringing this drama to their house.

Which only solidifies that I need to find a new place. Alka’s street is filled with FOR SALE signs. I’m not sure if that’s a good sign, though. I’ll ask them about it.

In the meantime, I’m going to be spending this flight trying to think of a way to convince Jessica that we need a divorce. It’s not like I can’t just push it through. No one can be forced to stay married. But I don’t want it to come to that. I want her to agree.

In a way, I still want to take care of her. I want her to take all our assets so she’s comfortable for a while. She has passive income coming in from royalties and whatever else, but… I don’t know.

Another text as we’re boarding the plane.

Lemon Frost

Just landed. Safely. See you tomorrow.

Hansley Bardot

Can’t wait.