CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Whether Adrianna could get him in or not, Noah was seeing Cooper. Tonight. The ache inside him had done nothing but grow with each hour, each second that went by.

"You know I could lose my job if this goes wrong. You have to promise me that if Cooper doesn't want to see you for whatever reason, you'll leave. It's one thing if his family is keeping you away from him. If this is Cooper's choice, he has the right to make it." Adrianna wrung her hands together as they stood at the entrance to the hospital.

She was right. But he knew that couldn't be true. Cooper would want him there. "If you just tell me what room he's in, I'll head up alone."

"I would but I didn't get a chance to talk to him today. Like I said, I want to make sure this is what he wants."

It was on the tip of Noah's tongue to tell her it was , but he held it back.

"Just walk with me. I'm going to take the back elevator so we won't see as many people. Security has been watching out for you."

"Christ, what did I do that was so wrong? Because I want to go in and see the man I love?"

Adrianna frowned. "Everyone knows Cooper's uncle. He was a police officer here for years. If he said not to let you in, people will listen." She shook her head. "I never knew. How could Cooper be gay?"

Noah wasn't sure what to say to that, so he chose nothing. No matter what they planned, that didn't mean Cooper would feel the same after speaking with Vernon. No matter what the man was, he was Cooper's family. Noah wouldn't come between that.

He kept his head down as he followed behind Adrianna. The whole scene made him want to hit something. They treated him like he was a criminal.

"Hello, Adrianna." A woman said, as she walked by.

Noah looked the other way as Adrianna told her hi.

They noticed a few more people on their way, most of them too busy to pay any attention to Noah and Adrianna.

They took the elevators the second floor and headed west. As they rounded a corner, Adrianna froze. Standing in front of them was Cooper's Aunt.

He let a heavy breath push from his lungs.

"Mrs. Bradshaw," Adrianna stuttered.

"It's not her fault," Noah told her , before the woman could say anything. "I just…I need to see him." Noah didn't give a shit about the vulnerability in his voice. He needed to see the man he loved, and that was that.

"Then you should see him." Noah's eyes caught hers with her words. It was that easy? They were going to change their mind so quickly?

"He'll want to see you, in fact, he's been asking to see you, and I'm sorry we kept you away. It's just…we didn't know, and it was painful to see you. I'd thought I put it all behind me, but I guess I hadn't."

Put all what behind her? Noah had no idea what she was talking about. "What happened?"

Autumn shook her head. "I can't…just go see Cooper. I think…I think he needs you. Heaven knows he wants you, and he doesn't want to see his uncle or me, right now. Not that I blame him."

Autumn tried to smile at him but she was crying too hard. When she tried to step away, she stumbled slightly and Adrianna reached out to grab her. She looked at Noah. "Room 2025. I'm going to help Mrs. Bradshaw downstairs. Just…I don't know you, and don't understand what's going on with you and Cooper. Even though I don't love him, I care about him. He's my friend, and I don't want to see him get hurt."

Cooper was Noah's first true friend. The first person he'd trusted. The happiest times of his childhood, or hell, his adulthood, the man had been a part of. "I would never hurt him."

Noah turned and headed for Cooper's room. Slowly, he pushed the door open. Coop's eyes were closed, the blanket pulled up. He had bandages and a sling on one of his arms. Noah's h eart pinched seeing Cooper like this.

He was only a few feet away from the bed, when Cooper's eyes fluttered open. The second he saw Noah, a smile spread across his face. Finally Noah felt like he could breathe.

With that fucking smile, they had to be okay. Had to.

"No ..ah." Cooper's voice was pained, raspy.

Noah grabbed his lover's hand. "Does it hurt to talk?"

Cooper nodded.

"Do you want me here?" Again he held his breath, needing the answer to be yes.

"Ye-s. Fuck—yes."

Thank God. Bending over, Noah kissed his lips. "Then don't speak. Words can wait till later. I just want to hold you, baby, and make sure you're really okay."

He didn't pretend there weren't things they needed to discuss. Cooper might still want him , but that didn't mean he was ready. It didn't mean he could claim Noah the way he needed to be claimed by the man. But right now, all that mattered was feeling him and knowing he was really there.

Noah tried to sit in the chair but Cooper tugged on his arm and nodded his head toward the bed. Noah climbed in beside him, wrapping his arms around the man. There was nowhere else he wanted to be.

***

Cooper slept with Noah beside him. He internally cursed every time a nurse came in to check his vitals or give him medication. All he wanted to do was lie with Noah. It didn't matter that news would obviously spread after this. That people would find out before Cooper had the chance to talk to his work. He just wanted to lie with Noah. Needed to lie with him.

And so he did , as much as he could. For two days. Noah left to eat or change clothes but he always came back. When Cooper tried to talk to him, Noah would tell him to wait, that they could talk later.

Braden came to see him with Wes, which surprised the crap out of Coop. Jules and Heather had shown up too, both of the women surprised to see them together. Despite the fact that he'd never led Jules on, Noah had left to talk with her for a while. Cooper respected him for it.

He didn't know what went down to make it that suddenly everyone came in, when before he had no visitors, but he didn't care. Noah told everyone not to expect an answer from him, and growled at Cooper every time he tried to speak.

And Cooper growled right back at him. Coop er could take care of himself, but that didn't mean he also didn't like the fact that Noah was so worried about him.

Partially, he was glad he didn't have to talk much. When he did , he would have to tell Noah about his mom and Vernon. The thought made him ill.

On the third day, Noah sat on the chair beside the bed, running his fingers over Cooper's shortly cropped hair. "You scared the hell out of me, Coop. I know you go into burning buildings for your job, but this was different. You gotta stop holding yourself responsible for them. It'll make you screw up. You made a rash decision."

Cooper's throat was still tender and his voice off, but he managed to speak a little more easily. "Saved…that…kid."

"I know." Noah leaned closer. "And , I'm so fucking proud of you, but that doesn't change the fact that you ran into that house to save your parents. You can't think that way. You're going to get yourself hurt."

"It's my job," he whispered softly.

"You know what I mean."

Cooper nodded , because he did.

"It wasn't your fault. I've said it before , but I don't think you'll ever truly be able to move forward until you accept that. Do you think that kid you saved could have gotten you out of the house? He's just a kid, man, and so were you. Their death wasn't your fault. Everything is not your responsibility. Just like dealing with my crap when we were kids wasn't, and making your uncle happy, isn't. You can't control everyone's feelings and be what everyone else wants you to be, baby. And…," Noah squeezed his hand. "No matter what I said to you. When I told you if we moved forward you were mine, staying with me isn't something you have to do either. If you're not ready, then—"

"No." Cooper winced, the force of the word making his throat burn. Noah was right about most of it. He understood that, but not when it came to how he felt about the other man. Those weren't the same. "I love you." He wished like hell he could speak louder.

"I know. I'm pretty irresistible." Noah winked , at him but when Cooper didn't smile, he continued. "That doesn't mean you're ready. I pushed you when I shouldn't have."

"Fuck…you…" If Noah thought Cooper didn't know his own mind, that he would let Noah talk him into moving forward if he wasn't ready, he was going to kick his ass. "You know me," he cleared his throat. "Better than that."

"You didn't even tell them I was back. Is it because I'm gay? If so, we're in a whole lot of trouble, baby, because for a while now, you've been with me."

That's where this was coming from. Cooper tried to sit up but struggled. Noah smiled before hitting the button so the head of the bed would go up.

"Stop getting all worked up. You're going to hurt yourself."

Cooper shook his head.

"I'm serious. I shouldn't have brought it up right now."

"Then, I would have." Coop thought for a second, trying to figure out how to say this. "Vernon was angry when you left. At your whole family." It drove him crazy how slowly he had to speak.

"I didn't understand it. That was part of it. I know it's wrong but I did feel like I would be letting him down, not just because I loved you, but because it was you. I didn't want to hurt you by telling you."

The set of Noah's jaw , told him he'd done just that. "Why? I could tell he was angry at me when I tried to see you, but it doesn't make sense."

Cooper took a deep breath. Jesus, this would kill Noah. But he knew Noah better than to lie to him. He'd already done it on a smaller scale and anymore, Noah wouldn't be able to forgive. Not after his mother's lies , and David's.

Cooper pulled on Noah's arm until he sat next to him, and didn't let go. "Your mom… and Vernon… ."

Noah turned to stone.

"I just found out…"

"Christ. That's why we left?" Noah tried to pull away but Cooper wouldn't let him. Not that Noah couldn't pull out of his one arm grasp, but he didn't. "That must have killed Autumn. How could she do that? She knew how much I loved you."

The pain in Noah's voice broke Cooper's heart. "So my mother slept with your uncle , and then I show up, and seduce their straight nephew?"

"Thinking awfully high of yourself, aren't you? If I didn't want to be with you, I wouldn't be."

But, they both knew that's how Vernon, and maybe even Autumn, saw it. Even when Autumn had come back into the room just before Noah the other day, she still struggled with it. She explained the whole story to Cooper. How Noah's father found out and they'd left. That his aunt hadn't known until they got home that weekend, and Vernon confessed. She'd wanted time alone, so Vernon had taken Cooper camping.

That it had been hard , but she's forgiven Vernon. That she knew her husband loved her. That what he'd done was wrong, but he'd tried every day to make it up to her.

It wasn't that easy for Cooper to forgive. Not when it hurt his aunt, had taken Noah from him, and shattered his vision of the man he respected.

"Your family treated me like I belonged. I practically lived with you. I was happy in Blackcreek. I begged my parents never to make us have to move, and she slept with your uncle knowing it would cause me to lose everything that was important to me?"

This time , Noah did jerk away from him and paced the room. "Your aunt treated me like a son and then my mother, repaid her by hurting her that way? And then I waltz back into your life. Find my way into your bed and then shove my way into this hospital like I have some fucking right."

"You have all the right." Cooper told him.

Noah's eyes flashed to him at that, burning with that heat Cooper had become so used to from his guy.

"I will never forgive her for making me lose you, Coop. How will your aunt ever be able to look at me?"

"Come here," Cooper said. When Noah shook his head he continued, "Come here before I get out of this bed."

Noah sighed. Cooper knew he wouldn't risk Coop getting out of bed and getting hurt. When Noah got to Cooper's side, Coop grabbed the back of his head with his good hand and pulled Noah toward him, until their foreheads touched.

"Because it wasn't your fault. Just like what happened to my parents wasn't mine, what your mom did wasn't yours. I'm not going to pretend it will be easy and maybe it will always be a struggle, but it isn't your fault and you won't suffer for it." Noah suffered too much in his lifetime. Cooper had too. They were due their happiness. Together.

"It's not the same thing. Don't pretend it is. I know it's not my fault. That doesn't mean it will be easier. I won't come between you and your family. I've already turned your life upside down as it is."

At that, Cooper smiled. He ignored the burn in his throat as he spoke. "If you did shake my life up, I wanted it. I needed it. I know we have shit to deal with. That it's going to be tough with my family, and officially coming out at the station, but I don't give it shit about that. None of it. I care about you."

"Coop—"

"No." Cooper shook his head. "There's nothing or no one I want in my life as much as you. Don't make this harder than it has to be, Noah. Twenty years ago you collided with me over that damn football, and my life was never the same."

"The same way you and your damn truck collided with me?" Laughter lightened the frayed edges of his voice. Noah was coming back to him.

"Guess that means we're meant to be. You were meant to be a part of my life, Noah."

"That's all I've ever wanted." Noah kissed Cooper's forehead. "One way or another, I've always wanted to be a part of you." His lips came down on Cooper's cheek and then the other one. "I have loved you since I was ten years old , and I'll be damned if I'm going to stop now."

Finally his lips landed on Cooper's. Their tongue s did that familiar give and take, their battle and surrender. Neither of them was stupid. They both knew there were obstacles ahead of them, but they would deal with them together.

"I love you too. Always."