6. Lyla

Reed stops at the bottom of the steps and frowns at me.

"Don't look at me like that, you're supposed to be excited," I remind her.

"I am." She wipes a brown lock of hair off her face when the wind kicks it around. "I'm just nervous."

"You have nothing to be nervous about. You've worked hard for this. And I'd know since you've been so busy lately that I've been forced to have all the fun without you."

"Fun?" She quirks an eyebrow. "Is that what you call distantly pining after my brother?"

"I'm not pining. I don't pine."

"We could plant you in the front yard at this point you're pining so hard."

I roll my eyes, but deep down, I hope that it's only obvious to Reed. Because I'd hate for Sage to have noticed and think he's actively avoiding me for that reason. Finding him attractive is one thing—but I'm not trying to make him my boyfriend.

At least that's what I tell myself when my heart tightens every time he looks at me.

Which is less and less often lately. He hasn't been around as much. Between him spending more time in the city at the tattoo shop, and going on runs with the club, he's rarely at the compound.

And that was a relief after our last few run-ins.

But now that Reed is leaving like Ellie did, it's going to be unnervingly quiet and empty around here. It's already a ghost town, and I hate it.

Reed pulls her bag up higher on her shoulder and glances back at her dad's house.

"Did you say goodbye?" I ask, and she nods. "It's going to be strange around here with you gone. You're the first person who welcomed me when Ellie and I were dropped off here. It's finally starting to feel real."

"It feels weird leaving." Reed turns back to me. "I don't remember not living on the compound. I'm used to things always being loud and chaotic."

"Never a dull moment around here."

"That's for sure." She shakes her head. "Remember the patching-in ceremony three years ago? I still can't figure out how they got the bikes up on the roof of the clubhouse."

"Or how it didn't cave in from the weight of them."

"Good point." Reed smiles.

I bite my lip. "Remember the Santa?"

She grabs her stomach when a laugh bursts out of her. "They still think the Santa was haunted."

"And they'll continue to think it." I laugh.

Every December, Reed, Ellie, and I took turns moving a Santa figurine around the clubhouse. We'd sneak it from one spot to the other. They figured one of the guys was messing with them until I convinced them the Santa was haunted. That he was watching over them and all their bad behavior.

They deserved it for always making fun of my cards and fortunes.

"What happened to that Santa?" I catch my breath, but Reed's still laughing.

"I think one of the guys burned it."

"Talk about bad karma."

"Right?"

Our laughing fades out, and all the fun the three of us had in this place flashes through my mind. The pranks we pulled and the trouble we caused. Our biker-daughter girl squad has slowly shrunk from three to two and now to one.

Reed once more adjusts the strap of her bag. A gust of wind barrels down the street and kicks our hair around. It feels like time moving on, sweeping our memories into the past, but even as Ellie and Reed move on, I'm stuck in it.

A sad smile ticks up on Reed's face, and she looks so much like her brother, it hurts a little sometimes. He might share more of their dad's features, and she might mirror the photos I've seen of their mom, but they have the same dark brown eyes and big smiles that light up their whole face.

"I'm going to miss you."

"I'll miss you too." Reed grabs my hands in hers. "But you'll be good. We both know you practically run this place. Besides, I'll come to visit every chance I get, and you said you'll come to Boston this winter to see the snow."

"I'd die to see some snow." I'm sure people who live in it don't appreciate the cold, but seasons in Los Angeles aren't quite the same as they are in other places.

And at some point, I need to actually experience the world.

Reed pulls me in for a hug. "Keep an eye on my brother for me."

"That's the club's job now."

Sage might still be a prospect, but they treat him like a member already. It's his blood and dedication. He's been doing the club's dirty work since before he was handed his cut, and I have no doubt he'd do anything to protect them. Which seems to be weighing heavier on him lately.

Outside the club, Sage is relaxed and a jokester. At the tattoo shop, he'll mess around and play pranks on the guys. But the more time he spends at the compound, earning his place in the club, the more I watch that side of him slowly start to fade away.

"I know they will." Reed sighs because she didn't want this life for her brother either. "But they'll also be the ones to put him in danger."

I hate that I can't argue with her because it twists the knot in my stomach.

I don't know what I'd do if something happened to Sage, and there's nothing I can do about it. The club is dangerous.

"He'll be fine." I squeeze Reed's hands and force a smile, trying to put her at ease. "This is Sage we're talking about."

The most resilient person I know, so I have no choice but to believe that I mean what I'm saying.

"I know." Her shoulders deflate. "But that's also why I worry about him. Sage is always just fine because he's so good at hiding when he's not."

"Your dad will keep an eye out. He'd never let anything happen."

"I guess," she agrees. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Lyla, you're practically a sister to me. Who's going to look after you?" She purses her lips. "And don't even try to say Brandon will because I know for a fact you stopped talking to him."

"How do you know that?"

She quirks an eyebrow, and I hate that she can see through all my secrets because she's right. I stopped talking to Brandon a few weeks ago.

He was nice, attractive, tattooed—everything I should probably want. I met him at Twisted Roses when he was getting work done on his back piece. We texted and he flirted, but something was missing.

"Fine, I'm not talking to him anymore. He's too busy."

"You ghosted him."

"I always responded." I cross my arms over my chest. "He's the one who stopped texting."

"Because you blew him off over and over again. Because you're in love with someone else."

My mouth falls open. "I am not in love."

"Keep telling yourself that, but we both know what a big fat lie it is." Reed rolls her eyes.

"Sage is like a brother to me."

"Gross." Reed shoves my shoulder. "He's like a brother to me—because he is one. But you do not look at him like a brother."

"Fine." I roll my eyes.

Sage might have looked after me when we were younger, but I've never looked at him like a brother. And the older we got the more that fact was reinforced.

"Lyla, that's not a bad thing." Reed tugs my arms. "Someday he's going to realize what a massive idiot he is."

"He's not an idiot." And of course I'm always defending him. "Besides, it doesn't matter. Nothing will ever come of Sage and me."

"Whatever you say. But we both know he's why you're still here." She pulls me in for a hug and I'm thankful because at least then I don't have to face the truth in her eyes. "Send Ellie my love when you talk to her."

"I will." I hug her tighter.

For the second time this year, it feels like I'm saying goodbye to a sister.

This should be easier when I'm getting used to everyone leaving. But all it does is stretch the canyon wider. And when Reed pulls back and looks at me, I'm not sure how much longer I can stay, regardless of Sage.

I'm tired of how temporary it all feels. How everyone in my life is pursuing what they want, and I still don't know what I want because that would require me to actually go out there and figure it out.

For all the grief I give the patch bunnies for allowing their lives to revolve around the men at the club, I'm no better. If anything, I'm probably more pathetic.

At least they have a reason to stick around.

Reed picks up the bag at her feet and throws it in the trunk, giving me a final wave before climbing into the car.

"Text when you get there," I yell, and she gives me a thumbs up through the window.

Reed's car disappears down the road, a bloom of dust following her. And I watch until she's out of view. Until all that surrounds me is wind and silence.

I don't realize how long I stand frozen on the front porch until the hum of motorcycles fills the distance. The club's making its way up the road in perfect formation, returning from a week-long run.

And I really wish I didn't breathe a sigh of relief when Sage's bike comes into view, and I know he's safe. Because I don't know how to leave him, even if he can't give me a reason to stay.