4. Lyla
There are daily clubhouse parties and then there are chapter mixers where members come from all around. Clubs come from far and wide to celebrate whatever new deals they've made while they get wasted. It's mass chaos, and I'm usually banned from the clubhouse for the few days surrounding them.
But I'm eighteen now, and my dad is too distracted by patch bunnies to care what I'm doing, so he hasn't even noticed that I slipped through the doors.
I tug at my cropped T-shirt and adjust the high waist on my skintight black jeans. My leather jacket was comfortable outside, but the moment I stepped inside, I had to ditch it to escape the heat.
My heart is racing as I glance around, telling myself I'm not looking for a certain someone in particular when deep down I know I'm lying to myself. Because the moment I spot Sage from across the room, my heart is lighter in my chest.
It does that thing where it floats. Or swoops. Or maybe it plummets. Because inside, I'm weightless, and I can barely handle it.
He's wearing his usual dark jeans and white T-shirt with his cut. And even if I hate the fact that he's a biker, I'd be lying if I didn't admit how good it looks on him. The dark leather matches his endless eyes and thick hair.
His jaw is scruffy from a few days of not shaving, and it's borderline torture thinking about how it would feel rubbing against my skin as he kissed me.
The more he avoids me, the more I wish he wouldn't.
Sage Jackson kicks my senses out the front door. And when his eyes lock on mine from across the room, for a split second, I'm tempted to let him turn me into my mother.
This is bad.
I can't be having these thoughts when his attention is on me. Sweat beads on the back of my neck from the humidity of the clubhouse, and my skin is clammy.
I'm rarely nervous, but Sage has me messing with my bracelets as he starts to cut through the crowd, making a beeline for me. My eyeliner is probably smearing, and my hair is likely flat from the heat, but he doesn't take his eyes off me.
"You came." Sage stops at my side, leaning against the bar beside me and scanning the room.
"Better than the alternative." Staring at a blank wall in the neighborhood pondering my pointless existence.
Glancing up at Sage, he holds my stare. Light catches in his irises, brightening his obsidian eyes. His strong jaw tightens as he watches me, and I wish there was an easier way to cut through this tension.
Someone pushes past him to get to the bar; it brings him so close that I'm tipping my head back to maintain eye contact.
The temperature in the room is already sweltering, but with him pressed beside me, I look away before I make a fool of myself.
Sage takes a sip of his beer and I lean against the bar, looking around. The party just started an hour ago, but it's already a shitshow.
The Vegas chapter of the Twisted Kings is in town—the original club. Their presence brings twice the number of people that usually attend these mixers and triple the chaos.
Blaze is chatting with their vice president, Helix. While Kane is taking shots with Steel, their president.
At twenty-one, Jameson Steel doesn't look old enough to be a Twisted Kings president. Usually, they're closer to my dad's age and not nearly as handsome. But from what I've heard, Steel's dad was gunned down a couple of months ago during a gun run gone bad, and the council voted him into his place. He's young, out for revenge, and enjoying every perk of being an MC president.
Patch bunnies flank him on either side. Pawing and hoping he'll give them some attention. One has her hand in his dark hair while another strokes his chest. His strong jaw clenches as he downs another shot, and I see the appeal by looking at him. If only I wasn't so wrapped up in the man standing next to me.
Once more, I glance up at Sage and find him staring at me instead of scanning the room.
"I heard from Ellie this morning," I say to fill the silence between us, even if he didn't ask. "She's getting things settled before I head up to San Francisco."
I was supposed to move next week, but then Ellie called to say they were moving apartments because there isn't enough space. And I didn't argue because I'm dreading actually making the decision to walk away.
Plus, Ellie might not say it, but I sense things between her and her boyfriend are tense. I don't want to leave just to look like a fool if I have to come crawling back.
"So you're still going then?" Sage leans in, and he smells so good tonight it's distracting.
"Probably." I shrug. "I can't just hang around the clubhouse forever."
Tiffany, one of the club's long-standing patch bunnies walks by. She winks at Sage when she does, and I try not to wonder how many of them he's been with, even if I have no right to ask.
I hate that he brings out that hint of jealousy when I'm not someone who normally feels it. Especially when I don't blame them or him. They're beautiful and Sage is… everything.
His dark eyes drain the universe from existence when you look into them. A black hole erasing gravity.
Sage is twenty-one and pure man now. No longer the kid who used to boss me around. His teenage softness has been replaced with lean muscles and a smile that makes girls lose all sense of direction. Put him on a bike and it doesn't matter if I'm into bikers or not, I want him.
I want his tattooed arms and his signature grin that knocks me in the chest.
I want us to be people we're not like that could make this an option.
Sage watches Tiffany as she passes. Her dress is so short I'm surprised her ass doesn't hang out the bottom. Her blonde hair brushes her lower back, and there's no denying she's pretty in all the ways that I'm rough around the edges.
I watch him watch her and I shake my head.
"What?" Sage asks, turning his attention back to me.
"She wasn't exactly being subtle." I wave my arm out at Tiffany. "Don't let me ruin your night."
"You're not."
I hum, shaking my head. "Whatever you say."
"It's not like that with Tiff."
"Sage, come on." I roll my eyes. "I'm not an idiot, and I don't give a shit, so give me a little credit. The club has perks, and you all take part in them. I don't want details, but I'm not stupid."
He grinds his jaw as he looks down at me. The room is getting louder, and another group of bikers has arrived. We're standing even closer together, and it's everything I want and don't at the same time.
"Lyla—"
"How does it feel?" I cut him off, changing the subject. "Finally being sent out on runs with the club. Almost a King. Everything you ever wanted, right?"
For a moment he watches me, and it's clear he's annoyed I'm brushing off the conversation, but I don't care. It doesn't matter how strong I am, there's only so much I want to think about Sage fucking around with patch bunnies, so I'm not entertaining that conversation.
"It's fine." Sage shrugs, finally answering me.
"Just fine?"
"Doesn't feel much different." He takes a sip of his beer.
There's something working in his dark eyes as they move around the room. Something distant. And I can't place the emotion playing across his face because it edges on regret when this is all Sage has ever wanted.
"Well, enjoy it." I nudge him on the arm. "And I'm being serious. My personal feelings aside, you'll be good for the club. They're lucky to have someone like you looking out for them."
Just because I don't agree with Sage's decision to become a member doesn't mean I don't mean it. Sage actually has a heart that he hides beneath his carefree fa?ade. He'll be good for the club. He might even bring a sense of humanity or morality back to the group. They need someone like him. So if he wants this, I have no choice but to understand.
"Thanks, Lyla."
"I'm gonna take off before things get too wild." Looking around, people are already losing clothes the more wasted they get. "I was just stopping by to stretch my legs."
It's part truth, when really, I came here just to see Sage. But the moment I stepped inside, I knew I was out of place. And the longer he's a prospect, and the more the distance grows between us, the harder it is to ignore it.
"I can walk you back." He sets his beer on the bar. "It's dark and late."
"I'm okay." I smile, even though I wish he would. "I need some fresh air and some room to think. Plus, all the guys are here. Enjoy. We can always catch up later."
He nods, and I reach out to squeeze his hand. Making a wish that things could be different. Handing the universe my trust that this is all meant to be and will work out however it's supposed to.
Then I turn and walk away, even if it kills me a little with each step.
I create some distance and wish it didn't feel so endless.
Sage is a Twisted King, and I'm the daughter of one. Destined or not, this is never going to be what I want.
It's time to lay my teenage fantasies to rest.