22. Lyla

The Tower.

Of all the cards I could have drawn this morning, it had to be that one. Change is in the air. It was on my tongue and in the pit of my bones when I woke up.

Chaos on the verge of unfolding.

It might be a warning—one I could avoid if I made different choices. But I've tried that before without luck. So now my only option is to fall headfirst and see what happens.

At some point after I fell asleep last night, Sage must have carried me to my room. When my eyes first opened, and I buried my nose in my pillow, I could still smell him. The way his aura lingered. Part of me hoped I'd open my eyes to be met with his bed, and I hate that I was disappointed to be faced with my black rose wallpaper instead.

Last night he cracked me open, whether he meant to or not. Everything I've been scared of feeling flooded to the surface. I poured it out. I handed it to Sage.

I've been carrying around the burden for so long that I forgot how heavy it is. And the moment he saw my truth—he asked his questions—I couldn't hold back. I let it spill out, and I admitted how hurt I'd been.

The scars on my back aren't even the worst of it. The damage that exists deeper—the reasons I ran—they eat away at me.

I'm not sure what he's thinking after what he saw last night. He might be disgusted by my scarred flesh, but if so, he didn't show it. When he stared at my back, it was like watching realization hit. Like he couldn't acknowledge how decimated I am until that very moment.

If my running away wasn't enough to scare him off, him seeing the depths of how truly broken I am will surely do it.

The girl Sage remembers was innocent. She was a diluted version of the person I am now. The girl Sage remembers was easy to fall for because she didn't have any experience or real pain.

Now I'm so far from her, I don't know how to find my way back again.

Staring at my cards, my fingers freeze on the Tower. I know better than to ask the universe for answers I might not be ready for. But still, I couldn't help it. I had to know if last night had changed anything.

The answer stares back at me.

The Tower.

I fear it's going to level us all.

When I finally find the courage to leave my room, Sage isn't here. Mason's still in bed and the apartment is quiet. I tap the choker around my neck and wonder if it makes Sage feel better that he knows where I am all the time.

Making my way downstairs to Twisted Roses, I'm relieved to find Fel up front at the shop. She's the type of person who's a breath of fresh air to be around. She lights up the entire room and is the exact opposite of Jude.

"I didn't know you were coming in today." Fel smiles from behind the display case when I walk in the door.

I swear she glows half the time. Her cheeks are rosy, brightened by her wild red hair.

"I wasn't planning on it." I shrug, dropping down onto the couch in the lobby. "But I'm bored. I swear there's nothing to do up there."

Except mess around with my tarot cards and face the inevitable.

"Tired of being locked in Sage's tower?" She winks.

"You make it sound like a fairytale."

I might be locked in a tower with the beast, but there's no virginal princess worth saving.

"Just saying."

She wraps her hair up in a bun, even though the pieces around her face refuse to cooperate and fall out instantly, so she gives up.

"I'm surprised you're here." I change the subject. "It's Saturday. Does this place ever close?"

"The weekends are for special appointments." Fel's grinning so big, her cheeks might burst. "Celebrity appointments."

She whispers the final words, her eyes darting to the hallway.

"Really?" I lean forward, curious who has her smiling like a girl with a teenage crush. "Who is it?"

Fel looks around like she might get in trouble even though we're the only people here, and I can't help but laugh. I have no doubt she's always been a bit of a good girl.

Leaning forward on the counter, she bites her lip, smiling. "Crew is tattooing Noah Hayes."

"Noah Hayes, as in, the drummer for Enemy Muse?" I hitch an eyebrow.

Fel is grinning and nodding, looking just as surprised about it as I am hearing it.

It's still hard to believe how much Twisted Roses has changed. They've turned it from a Twisted Kings money laundering front to a legit tattoo business. But more than that, they have a reputation with some well-recognized names.

Echo told me about their celebrity clientele, but Enemy Muse is the biggest rock band in the country.

"Holy shit." I breathe out a sigh. "Noah Hayes."

"I know, it's wild." Fel rests her chin in her hands. "I guess they're in town promoting a band they just signed. And they're friends with the guys, so Noah and Rome came by to get tatted and catch up. Jude's back there now."

"And why aren't you?"

"I was." She shrugs. "But they're reliving the glory days, and I wanted to get things sorted up here, so I left them to do their thing."

"I still can't believe they tattoo celebrities."

"You get used to it." Fel straightens a stack of magazines on the counter. "But I don't think it ever gets less surprising when you meet one."

I can imagine.

The door to the shop opens, and I look up to see Sage standing in the doorway. His stare immediately meets mine, and I've never been this exposed to him. He's the man who took my virginity years ago, but right now might be the first time he's actually seen me bare.

I've gotten so used to his irritation, I don't know what to make of the fact that it isn't there anymore. That his gaze is filled with concern instead of anger, and that he doesn't seem to hate me like he did yesterday.

His fingers flex and draw my attention to his hand. It's wrapped in a bandage.

"What happened?"

He holds his hand up, looking like he forgot it was there. "Nothing. Just letting out some steam at the gym this morning."

Once more, he looks over at me, his eyes glancing at my T-shirt for a split second. And I wonder if he's thinking what I assume he is. That I wear T-shirts to always cover my back so people can't get a glimpse of the scars on it.

"You sleep okay?" he asks me.

A simple enough question, even if we both know he's actually asking more.

I nod.

"Good." Sage turns to Fel. "Are they back there?"

"Yeah, I think Crew's just finishing up."

Once more Sage glances at me, his stare pausing on my mouth when I press my lips together. "I'm going to check in with a friend, but then Kane wants to see you at the club."

"I can take a cab if you're busy."

He shakes his head. "I'll drive. Just give me a few minutes."

"Okay." My mouth is dry as the word fights its way out.

I feel like a nervous teenager all over again and it's ridiculous.

Sage disappears down the hallway, and the moment a door opens at the end, laughter filters down the hall before it once more closes.

It's strange to think of this world he's living in when I remember it all being so different. He's grown up. But I guess we both have.

"You two are on better terms." Fel smirks at me, picking at a fingernail.

"We were never on bad terms."

We've just been avoiding each other at all costs like we can possibly run from what will inevitably smack us in the face.

"I've never seen you two in a room together for more than a minute without arguing about something." Fel crinkles her eyebrows. "Until now."

As much as I wish I could tell her she's wrong, she isn't. Last night changed something.

"We talked, that's all."

"Mm-hmm." She smiles. "You talked."

"It's not like that." At least, not anymore.

"Not like what exactly?" She stands up, circling the counter to come to meet me on the couch. "Because I've never seen Sage like this."

"Like what?"

She purses her lips, thinking. "I don't know what I'd call it—at peace, maybe? He's always all over the place. I swear he never sits still. But the moment you came back, it was weird. It's like he found his center again."

Something about that is comforting to hear.

"Sage can be the funniest, happiest person in the world." Fel sinks down onto the couch. "And still, something about him… it's like he's always smiling but never actually means it. Like it's all been a mask. But you take the mask off him."

She glances over at me.

"Really?"

Fel nods. "Really."

I twist my fingers around a frayed string on my shirt. Around and around.

"You're good for him." Fel smiles. "I think he likes having you around."

My stomach sinks. "I don't know if I'm staying."

"I get that." She climbs off the couch, looking down at me. "But I hope you do. And I think I'm not the only one."

Fel starts down the hallway, and I want to follow her, but my insides are cement. Ever since coming back to town, the plan was always to leave again. It's the right thing to do.

I can't stay.

I don't want to—at least—I shouldn't.