Chapter 45

Hope woke to the delicious feel of Aaron's chest glued to her back, his arm curled around her and holding her tight against him even though she was pretty sure he was fast asleep. His short beard tickled her shoulder. His breath was warm against her flesh.

She felt incredible. Deliciously used and achy and still hungry for more. She didn't think she'd ever had this many orgasms in such a short space of time and figured her body was making up for all the lost years.

She shifted slightly to see the time. Just after two. Felt the sudden tightening of his fingers as he woke.

"Sorry," she whispered.

His arms squeezed her for a moment before letting go. "I wasn't supposed to fall asleep." He eased away from her, and cold air filled the gap.

She rolled over and grabbed his hand. "I forgot to tell you that Ryan knows."

He stood at the side of the bed looking all dangerous and moody but not surprised. "He saw me leave last night. What did he say?"

She swallowed. "Not to break your heart."

He gave a quiet, bitter laugh. "No emotional entanglements. Sounds like Ryan."

She thought about the coworker Ryan obviously had feelings for. Raised a brow. "I don't know about that."

Aaron's eyes flashed to hers. But she wasn't about to give up Ryan's secrets, not when she wanted him to keep theirs.

Aaron had pulled on his pants but didn't zip them. Her eyes traced the delicious dark trail of hair that disappeared, and, like that, she wanted him again.

She looked at the dresser where the lone surviving condom from last night's adventures still lay. She reached over and held it up. Caught his eyes in the snow-brightened darkness. "Seems a shame to waste it…"

She knelt up on the bed and let the covers fall away. Watched those black eyes narrow as she moved naked toward him. She reached up and pulled his head down for a kiss. Dropped the condom onto the duvet and slid her other hand into the open zipper of his pants. He was already hard and ready for her, and her muscles clenched in anticipation.

"Surely, ten more minutes wouldn't hurt anyone?" she murmured softly.

He swore against her lips and then again when she shoved his pants down and cupped him and stroked him until she was quaking with want. He removed her hands then surprised her by grabbing her behind the knees and flipping her back onto the bed.

She let out a muted squeak that she swallowed as he spread her knees wider and dragged her to the edge of the mattress. She watched him roll the latex over himself and then position his cock at her core before surging inside. It was all she could do not to cry out with pleasure as he filled her with one firm stroke.

"Is this what you wanted?" He drove deep, pushing her knees up and going deeper still.

It was exactly what she wanted, but suddenly she wanted more. More than his magnificent body plundering hers. More than his heat and his beauty. She wanted his mind, his protective streak, the quiet determination that verged on stubbornness. She liked him. Really liked him. The way he listened, the way he considered all the angles, the way he came up with intelligent, thoughtful solutions, the way he respected her even when she was doing her best to piss him off.

She watched the light play over his features as his hands held hers, pinned her to the bed. He drove into her relentlessly, his gaze holding hers so she couldn't look away, couldn't hide. Then his mouth found her breast before he slid his hands beneath the curved arch of her back and lifted her up. She wrapped her legs tightly around his hips. And she thought he'd been deep before, but now she felt bound to him, fused with him. Soldered. Melded. Saturated with Aaron Nash.

Every nerve in her body wound, coiled, tightened. His chest abraded her nipples, his body stroked her clit with each surge forward. Every inch of skin felt as if it smoldered from the lust that burned between them until, finally, the spark struck and she ignited in flame.

He captured her cry with his mouth. Swallowed the sound of her pleasure as his own body strained before shuddering against her so forcefully it almost hurt.

A delicious and wonderful pain.

He pulled away.

They stared at one another, time suspended between them, stretching their connection until it had no choice but to break.

It seemed like a lifetime.

It seemed like not long enough.

They slowly disengaged, and he dealt with the condom. She half hoped he'd climb back in beside her and realized with terrible blinding insight that she was falling in love with this man. Falling in love with this incredible human being.

Panic zipped along her nerves and exploded in her brain, obliterating the memories of orgasm and happiness. Her mouth was so dry she could barely swallow. Sweat beaded on her forehead and slid over her skin.

No. No, no.

It was impossible.

She couldn't do that. She wouldn't do that. Not ever again. Especially not when she could tell he was falling for her too. Aaron Nash wasn't the pretend type, and the truth was visible in every line of his serious face. In the way he watched her, the way he worshipped her body, the way he spoke her name.

But she wouldn't risk going through that pain again.

Leech was still out there.

What if he figured it out?

That she had stupidly fallen in love again? What if he attacked this man, killed him, simply because of her. The idea made her feel as if her insides were being hollowed out with razors. She couldn't bear the thought of Aaron being injured. Leech had already taken so much from her, she wouldn't let him take Aaron too.

He brushed her hair off her face. "What did you say to Ryan when he said not to break my heart?"

Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.Her heart buzzed in her chest like a wasp. Then she forced away every ounce of the feelings that paralyzed her tongue because this was the perfect way out. The perfect way to slam the door shut and push Aaron firmly away before either of them got in too deep.

"I told him not to be an idiot. It was just sex."

Aaron jerked away as if stung.

"I mean stupendous, incredible sex, but still…" She watched him steadily, knowing she was hurting him. Deliberately causing that shocked look of surprise in his eyes. Hating herself but unable to stop. It was better this way. She could already see with stunning clarity what a disaster this would be if she allowed it to continue. For both of them. And that was without Leech entering the mix. "But I don't want to put your job at risk, so we should probably stop before you get into trouble."

Like stopping would be an option if she hadn't already been fundamentally incapable of being what the man deserved?

Reflexively, she stretched out an arm to soothe him before she controlled herself. He moved away as if he couldn't bear the idea of her touch. Something inside her curled up and died, but she pushed on, knowing she had to be convincing or they'd be right back here tomorrow night, only it would be worse next time because she now understood the risk. "I'm getting a little old for sex marathons."

His smile was grim. "You seemed to be doing fine until round five." He pulled his T-shirt over his head with swift, jerky motions.

"Well," she forced out. "I'll keep working on it, although I doubt I'll find anyone else of your caliber." She wanted to tell him there would never be anyone like him again. She smothered the words. He'd get over it. She was a job, and he'd get over it. But if he died because of his connection to her, she never would.

He zipped his jeans, pulled on his boots, and swept up his weapon and cell phone from the counter. Paused by the bed.

"You know, you should talk to Ryan. If it's sex you want and you've had your fill of this particular HRT operator, he's single. Must be good in bed considering the number of women who flock to him. Hell, Black, Griffin, Crow, Demarco would all line up to fuck you if they knew it was an option, even Cadell, even though he doesn't like you much."

Inside, she flinched at each bitter word.

"Not that like needs to be an issue, of course, as long as everyone knows it's just sex, right?" The ice in his voice was enough to freeze the icecaps. He shook his head. "Hell, Hope, we could keep you busy for months. Taking it in turns to come in here each night and work you so hard you won't be able to walk straight the next day."

She gripped the sheets with her fingers so he wouldn't see how her hands shook.

"I'll bear that in mind." Her voice was as frigid as his. She knew she'd hurt him, and he was lashing out.

"I'll check on the condom supply before tomorrow night. Wouldn't want to run short now, would we?" Apparently, he wasn't going to quit.

"I'm sorry, Aaron. I didn't mean to offend you?—"

"Offend me?" The words were a whisper, but anger pulsed through them. "Offend me? I'm actually grateful for the reminder, ADA Harper. In fact, I'm beyond grateful. I was getting attached, I admit it. I mean you are hot and smart as fuck, which are two of my weaknesses. But you reminded me that you're missing the other vital ingredient that I value above all else."

She forced herself to ask. "And what might that be?"

"Loyalty."

She flinched.

"And friendship."

That stab to her heart felt like a blade.

"I actually thought we might be becoming friends. But I should have known better. It was ‘just sex.'"

The words were whispered, but the slam of her door was not. She closed her eyes and realized belatedly that, thanks to the trauma inflicted by the former fiancée, he had some insane notion that he wasn't good enough. Her comment, intended to protect him, had probably made him feel as if he wasn't worthy of a bigger place in her life—wasn't worthy of being more than a two-night stand. Wasn't good enough for her.

God, Aaron.

That couldn't be further from the truth.

She opened her eyes and lay in the darkness staring up at the ceiling, hating everything she'd become.

At least it would keep him safe.

The knowledge brought little comfort.