Chapter Six

Where was he?

Katrina checked the hallway again. She’d opened the door an hour after he’d set up his pallet out there because she was having trouble sleeping, but he had been curled on his side, sleeping soundly, and she’d felt bad waking him up. So, she hadn’t.

Yesterday had been eternal. She had expected to find him sleeping still as she checked the empty hallway now. She’d just had a bad dream. It was always the same. She was burning alive. Thanks, Wreck, for the trauma.

Maybe King had the same dream. Maybe that’s why he’d left.

She brushed her fingers through her hair to loosen the waves that had dried after her shower. He’d folded the bedding and placed it inside the doorway.

Had he run early this morning? Had he tracked down transportation and found the bank he was looking for?

The door beeped, and she was startled out of her thoughts as King pushed his way in, two coffees in his hands. “Morning,” he said gruffly. His eyes were bright gold, and he smelled of dominance. The air grew heavy as he stepped into the room.

“I don’t know how you drink it,” he said, handing her a convenience-store cup with a cardboard sleeve to protect her hand from the heat.

She took it from him, and didn’t even know what to say. So touched was she, Katrina just parted her lips and closed them again as the thank-you stayed lodged in her throat.

“You’re upset?” he asked.

King’s dark hair was all mussed from sleep, but in that sexy way that looked like he’d roughed it up on purpose. He looked even taller today, wider. His muscles pushed against his light-gray thermal shirt.

“I’m not upset. No one has ever gotten me coffee like this before. Just…showed up with it right when I was thinking I need to go to the store and get some. You just…thought of me.”

He looked baffled. “If no one has gotten a woman like you coffee before, you’ve picked the wrong damn men.”

He chugged the last of his own coffee, tossed the empty in the little trash can by the dresser, and then made his way to the bathroom, peeling his shirt off as he went. His sleeve of tattoos traveled to his back, and covered half of it. His spine was the barrier. The other half of his back was completely bare of tattoo ink. It was just a latticework of scars that had gone silver with time and healing. She hadn’t had a good look at this part of his body, and it stunned her.

“That must’ve hurt,” she said, gesturing to his back.

“The tattoo?”

She’d been talking about the scars, but sure. The tattoo. She wanted to hear that story.

“I was drunk for most of the sessions,” he said with a chuckle. “I was having issues. You aren’t supposed to have alcohol in your system, but my tattoo artist was my friend, and he let me drink. He knew I was a shifter. Our bodies respond differently.”

“I know,” she said with a wicked smile.

“I saw your tattoo,” he said, lifting his chin in confidence. “I think about it. Sexy thigh tattoo. Makes a man want to trace the lines.”

Whooo, what he did to her body. The way he was talking, the air of confidence, how dominant he was, how his chest and abs were so defined as he stood in the doorway of the dimly-lit bathroom talking to her like this…she couldn’t deny she was extremely attracted to him. It took a lot for her to find a man attractive. First and foremost, he had to be more dominant than she was. If she could outfight him, outsmart him, or outdo him, she would chew him up and spit him out.

King was bigger than her, and clever, and calm, and well-spoken, and dominant, and his body was out of this world.

It made her want to say things like, “Thank you,” instead of tossing her coffee in the trash and announcing she didn’t need some dumb man to buy her anything. She could do everything herself.

She lifted the coffee. “I really appreciate this.”

He shrugged one shoulder. “I was up anyway. Wreck woke me up at the crack of dawn to have quality time.” He rolled his eyes and shook his head as he turned into the bathroom. The sound of running water filled her senses a few seconds later.

“Wait, you were with Wreck? Alone?” she asked, peeking around the corner.

He was unzipping his pants, so she turned around to give him privacy, facing the wall of the bathroom.

“I don’t care if you look, woman. I’ve been inside you. Plus, I’m pretty sure everyone saw my naked ass while the Fastlanders were transporting my barbecued carcass here.”

“I was tranquilized in the back of the Hummer, listening to the Fastlanders freak out over the big gorilla coming for them.”

He laughed. “I’ve still got it.”

“I’d say.” She cleared her throat and told him, “I’ll give you some privacy.”

“Stay if you want.” The metal rings of the shower curtain screeched across the curtain rod.

Katrina had never been in a room with a man while he was showering before. She and Rook had lived separately. She had lived in an apartment with the other mates he was collecting.

It was strange, being this familiar with a man. “Are we breaking any rules?”

The water splashed as he began to shower. “What do you mean?”

“You don’t have a mate?” She needed to know for sure.

“I almost did. Wreck told me this morning she is moved on and paired up. She has a little baby girl now.”

“Ooooh.” Her heart jumped into her throat. “That is some big news. Are you okay?”

“Yep. I had a little moment, but I’m relieved more than anything. We were dry and unemotional. Unattached. Distance was comfortable and we just never really settled into a rhythm together. The family group thought we were good, and the genetic lines would’ve worked well for offspring.”

“Offspring,” she said softly. “Sounds so formal.”

“It was. I did care for her. I was protective, but if my reaction is relief and feeling happy for her when I find out she’s claimed by another male, I’m pretty sure my animal didn’t bond to her.”

“I’m probably going to obsess over this conversation,” she said with a nervous laugh.

“Why?”

“Because I’m a woman.”

He moved the curtain to the side and cocked his head, his gaze boring right into her. “What kind of reassurance do you need? Ask your questions.”

“I have no right.”

“Sure you do. I invited you to stay in here while I shower. I’ve never done that. I didn’t like going with Wreck today because we went too far away, and I didn’t want anyone messing with you. I held you last night and didn’t want to push you away. You have a right to ask what you want. Ask, and I’ll decide what I want to answer. If you don’t ask, there is no chance of you getting answers though.”

“Was she pretty?”

“Gorgeous. Dyed, platinum-blonde hair, full lips, high cheekbones. Long legs. No scars on her face.” He pushed the shower curtain open, and she could so easily see him showering. He was splashing a little as he shampooed his hair, so she brought a towel over and placed it on the floor.

Fast as she dared, she glanced up at his naked body as shampoo suds raced in streams down his tattooed back. He was perfect.

She swallowed hard and retreated to the countertop, where she sat, dragged her knees up, and cradled her warm coffee. She took a sip, and then another, as she dared quick glances at him. This felt so intimate, and he didn’t seem to feel awkward at all. Just confident.

She liked it.

“How long were you together?”

“A couple of years.”

“Did you live together?”

“No. We weren’t there yet. We talked about it some, but there wasn’t a rush.”

“Did you…” She cleared her throat again as tendrils of heat landed in her cheeks. “Were you sleeping together?”

“Yes.”

She didn’t like it. A snarl rattled up her throat, and she gripped her coffee a little tighter, feeling low.

“No kissing,” he said.

“What?”

He turned the shower off. “I didn’t kiss her.”

Kat’s eyes were probably the size of flying saucers right now. “How is that even possible?”

“It was a once-a-month fuck from behind if we had a few beers in us, and then going our separate ways.”

“That sounds…”

“Cold?”

“I was going to say familiar.”

He stepped onto the towel she’d set down on the floor beside the shower, and gestured to a pair of folded towels beside her. “Can you hand me one?”

Feeling bold, she dragged her gaze down his body slowly. He looked like dripping wet demigod.

When she reached his eyes again, she gave him a smirk and said, “Come get it.”

His answering wicked smirk said he had a fun side. King padded to her slowly, locked his arms on the counter and leaned into her, brushed his lips against the side of her neck, and then murmured against her ear, “Blonde with no scars on her face. Now ask me my type.”

Her heart pounded harder, and between her legs, a deep, warm tingling sensation spread outward.

“What’s your type?” she asked.

He pushed off the counter and grabbed a towel. “Apparently, spicy lioness shifters with mate issues, scarred-up faces, and an attitude problem.”

She laughed. “She sounds adorable.”

“She’s not. Sexy as hell though. I’ve touched her before, and I can’t stop thinking about it. I wasn’t even in my right mind, either.”

“You could erase that memory, you know.”

He had the towel around his waist now, and was brushing his teeth. “Pretty sure I wouldn’t want to erase the memory of your perfect tits. Just the parts where neither of us wanted it like that.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

He cast her a frown, and slowed brushing his teeth. He leaned down and spit, then rinsed his mouth, cleaned his toothbrush, and straightened up, using the hand towel to wipe water from his short beard.

His eyes were blazing gold again, and the warm sensation between her legs had spread to her stomach.

“Say what you mean,” he rumbled.

“You could replace that memory with a new one. One where we are both in our right minds.”

“Say it.”

“I want you to breed me.”

He lowered his chin to his chest and rested his hands on his hips. “I hate the way you just said that.”

Sitting up straighter on the counter, Katrina asked, “Why?”

“I did formal before. And then I did emotionless with you when you were a stranger. You aren’t a stranger anymore. Don’t ask me like that again.”

He turned and grabbed his pants off the floor, then left the bathroom.

Katrina was mortified. She didn’t know why she’d said it like that, looking back. She’d thought she was talking sexy. She’d thought he would melt into it and take her quick and hard, and fix the intimacy issues that lingered between them. His reaction made her feel embarrassed, and very unsexy.

She felt shame.

There was the rustling of him getting dressed in the bedroom, and then the click of the door handle opening. “Don’t overthink it, Kat,” he barked out, and then the door closed firmly.

But…he was a male. And she was offering herself. It didn’t matter what words she used to a rutting male. Right?

She looked at the coffee he’d brought her and then slid off the counter, cheeks on fire. Feeling the full slap of rejection, she went into the bedroom, and startled hard when someone yelled a cuss word in the hallway. Sounded like King.

She peeked her head out into the hallway just in time to see him shove the door open and leave the building.

Next door, the shifter she’d met last night…Reed? He was frowning at her. “What did you do?”

“I…” She shook her head, at a loss for how to explain. She didn’t understand herself. “It’s none of your business.”

He made a click sound behind his teeth, left his room, and followed King out of the hotel.

Well, now she somehow felt even worse. God! Everything she did and said was wrong here. She hated it. Hated the way all of this made her feel. First, Raynah called her out last night at the gas station, and then Silver was watching her at the bar but wanted nothing to do with her, and now King was mad at her for…for…what? Asking him to breed her? That’s what they’d done! That’s what it was called in Cold Foot! He was a breeder!

“Fuck this,” she ground out, shoving her way out of the door.

“You good?” Raynah asked as she passed.

“I’m great,” she gritted out.

Outside, the Fastlanders were sitting around a firepit, all looking toward the woods where Katrina could make out Reed jogging into the trees.

“What’s going on?” Silver asked, standing.

Katrina ignored her and stalked the opposite direction that King and Reed had disappeared. Behind her, she could hear Silver trotting to catch up.

“Kat,” she called.

“Don’t call me that. I’m Katrina to you now!” she yelled over her shoulder. She picked up her pace to a jog.

“Where are you going?” Silver called.

She pushed her legs into a sprint. The tree line across the icy road was her sanctuary. If she could just reach it and Change, this stupid world and all of the overwhelming emotions of this body would cease to exist.

“Hey!” Silver grabbed her arm and spun her, and Katrina shoved her hard.

“Don’t touch me!”

“Why are you crying?”

“I’m not!” But the wind was blowing on her cheeks, and they stung with dampness. Angry at herself, she wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands. “I just want to be alone.”

“Tell me what’s happening! Did King hurt you?”

“No. No, he didn’t. I’m the one who hurts everyone. You know. You know that’s what I do.” She needed to stop talking and escape to the woods, but now the words were just tumbling out of her. “I fuck everything up, Silver. I have since we were friends. God! That feels like a hundred years ago, and in that hundred years, I haven’t done a single thing right!”

Silver’s eyes were blazing the gold of her lioness now, but screw it. If Silver Changed and fought her, it would make perfect sense.

“I messed it up with you because I thought Rook was so special. I thought I had a right to him, and do you know, he turned out to be exactly what you told me he was. You warned me, and I hurt you. And now look at us.” She pointed her finger at her face scar, that matched Silver’s. Both carved by the same hand—Rook’s. “Both traitors. Except you landed where you were supposed to land. You found the Fastlanders, and I made the decision to stay loyal to Rook. Bad decision. I chose to follow him into war with a fresh traitor mark on my cheek, Silver. Bad decision. Got burned alive by Wreck, then brought back to life with his awful green fire, and now I can’t stop dreaming about the pain, because of my bad decisions. I can’t fucking sleep, because it’s terrifying to let my body go unconscious when I don’t know who has bad intentions for me. Went to prison, thought I finally had some time to myself to think, and maybe figure out who the hell I am, but one day a guard came to me and explained that I would be a breeder. Do you know what happens to breeders? They have to turn their hearts off and sleep with a man they don’t know until it takes, and then they grow a child, and that baby is taken before I would ever get to hold her, and God, Silver. I had dreams that I would have a baby girl, and I was terrified because I knew I wasn’t going to be okay. I wanted the family so bad, I did awful things to secure it, and now karma is taking her pound of flesh, right? And I did it. I went through my first cycle. Had no choice. They pumped us full of drugs that made it impossible to stay away from each other. And I could tell he didn’t want me, and I didn’t want him like that, but this sick part of me liked it. At the end, when he was taking care of me, I liked it. How fucked up is that?” she whispered. “He was holding me and making sure I enjoyed it as much as I could in that moment, and I got lost. It was so nice to have a rutting man try his best to not hurt me. A stranger. I hated him for it, and it’s clear something inside of him hates me for it too, and I can’t do or say anything right, Silver. It was never my strength. I like him, and I shouldn’t. It’s too messy, too complicated, and I’m setting myself up for rejection, but that’s my type, right?” The tears were streaming down her cheeks now. “I’m so…” She shook her head helplessly. “So messed up. I’m so freaking sorry for not listening to you, and for the way I treated you. You were the best friend I ever had. It’s easiest to see that when everything gets taken away.”

Silver’s eyes were rimmed with tears that Katrina didn’t understand. It was her turn to press the back of her gloved hand against her cheek to absorb the stream of emotion. She inhaled deep, and when she exhaled, her breath shook. “When did Rook give you the traitor scar?”

“You know when.” She didn’t want to talk about it. The memory still felt very fresh.

“After you warned me? After that night at the rodeo, when you told me I should stay with the Fastlanders? When you warned me Rook was planning a war?”

Katrina swallowed audibly. “Yes.”

“He figured out you warned me?”

“Yes. The scar was done in front of the Pride, just like how it happened to you, and then I was put on the front line of the war with your Fastlanders. He wanted me and everyone I cared about to know how expendable I was. Some Queen, right?”

“Fuck Rook. He was always a low-value man. We both got tricked.”

She huffed an emotional laugh. It actually felt good to talk crap about him with someone else who had reason to hate him.

“Why did you save the croc shifter?”

“What?” she asked, confused by the turn of conversation.

“Raynah. You were protecting her. Why?”

“The baby. Raynah is tough, but she’s good.”

“You made sure she made it out of there to escape the breeding program?”

“I didn’t want her baby being taken from her. She wants it. That would’ve broken her, same as it would’ve broken me. If one of us made it out, I needed it to be her.”

Silver nodded. “And King is angry now, why?”

Katrina hung her head and kicked at the snow with the toe of her boot. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Tell me. For old times’ sake, tell me your boy problems.”

“I asked him to breed me again. I thought it would be sexy if I asked like that.” She shrugged miserably. “I told you, I make all the wrong decisions.”

“It’s not wrong.”

Katrina frowned and dared a look up at Silver. “It’s not?”

“You’ve made mistakes, Kat. We all have. I was sent to the Fastlanders to betray them, and for a while I tried. I say the wrong things all the time with my mate, but he’s forgiving, and do you know why?”

“Why?”

“Because I’m honest with how it was with Rook, and where I’m coming from, and I am also open with trying. I’m a tryer now.” She huffed a soft laugh. “I’m also a mess. Probably every lioness coming out of the Holland Pride is going to be recovering for years. You still have good in you. I can see it. Why the hell do you think I’m here?”

“I honestly have no clue.”

“You were my best friend, too. I knew you were in that prison. I knew Wreck burned you. I also found out there was a possibility that you were being filtered into that breeding program. Damon’s been planning on busting that place open for a year. He hates shifters being experimented on, even if they’ve done wrong. You didn’t deserve that. You saving the croc and her baby are proof of that.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “The Kat I know is still in there. And that…that’s why I’m here.”

“If you’re trying to get me close to sobbing, you’re doing a bang-up job,” she said with a thick laugh.

“Look, as far as King goes, here’s how it is for him right now. He’s on day one of being revived by the green fire, and good gah, it’s a recovery process from Wreck’s power. Wreck told us King’s headache is bad. I’m surprised he’s upright. Wreck got pissed at Owen a couple months ago and unalived him, and Timber made him bring Owen back, and Owen was down for a week. I’m talking no lights allowed around him, and he’s a tough son of a gun. King is walking around here trying to make sure you’re good. Add to that, you’re both working long-term shifter-suppressant medicine out of your systems. How long has it been since you Changed?”

Katrina shook her head. “I’ve lost track of time. Months. They made us take meds every morning.”

“Okay. This is morning one without them.” She pointed to the woods across the way. “That bigass ape already Changed trying to protect you. His system is so out of whack right now, and then you’re mentioning him breeding you, and I’m going to guess he hated doing that as much, if not more, than you did. Silverbacks are protective. That went against every instinct in his body. The B-word is likely going to be off-limits for you two.”

“Well, I know that now,” she grumbled. “I’m really bad at seduction, and also dirty talk. Rook just kind of did it from behind, and grunted like a pig a bunch.”

Silver burst out laughing, and that old familiar sound dragged a reluctant smile from Kat. “I’m glad my trauma can entertain you.”

“Hey, your trauma is my trauma, so we can laugh about it all we want.” Silver grabbed Kat’s shoulders and leveled her with a serious look. “You’re going to be okay.”

“I have no idea where my life is headed. I’m in the middle of a small town in Alaska with one pair of clothes, and sixty-nine dollars to my name.”

“Hold out your hand,” Silver said.

“You’re not going to put a used Kleenex in it or something, are you?”

“Ew, no. Just trust me. Hold it out.”

Katrina puffed air out of her cheeks and held out her bare hand. She was probably going to have frostbite soon.

Silver laid a small, rectangular box on her palm, and looked at her with such a strange expression. There was hope, and happiness, and emotion there swimming in the glowing gold, instead of anger.

“What is this?” Katrina asked.

“Open it.”

Carefully, she pulled the top of it off to expose a finely-made pocketknife. On the green handle was etched a logo with the initials SB.

“SB?” she asked.

“Silver Bear. There’s a seer in Damon’s Mountains named Beaston. He made matching knives for the Fastlanders when the Crew was all official. For Wreck and Timber’s wedding present, he made matching knives for the Crew Wreck will create.”

Chills rippled up Katrina’s spine. “I have heard of Beaston.” He was a living legend in Damon’s Mountains. He also made very expensive knives. This was probably a five-hundred-dollar pocketknife. Carefully, Katrina flicked it open and read the engraving on the blade. Wreck’s Mountains .

“Why are you giving this to me?” she asked, the inklings of realization blooming in her chest. She needed to know for sure the meaning of this gift.

“Because you’re ready. You have learned to own all of your mistakes, and I can see you trying to grow. Months ago, you told me to stay with the Fastlanders because you still cared. Now I’m telling you to stay with Wreck’s Crew, because I also still care.”

“Whoooo,” she blew out the word like a breath as she studied the fine blade. “Is Wreck okay with you giving me this?”

“He gave it to me just before you came out here, after he talked to King this morning. Whatever that man said to the phoenix, he impressed him. Wreck is still undecided about bringing King in, but he trusts his judgement. And he trusts mine. I traveled all the way here just to make sure you had your shot. This is your shot if you want it, Kat. Don’t mess this one up. Trust me, Kat. Damon’s Mountains Crews aren’t like the Pride. It’s so much better. It’s got a good foundation, and deep friendships. It’s family. It’s watching out for each other. No one will ever cut your face again. If they tried, they would burn. Do you understand?”

Katrina nodded. She couldn’t speak on account of her lungs feeling so heavy. Her voice would crack. So she folded the blade back into the handle and hooked it on her leggings, then pulled Silver in for a hug, and gah, it felt so good. They hadn’t hugged like this in so long.

Silver blew out a breath and pushed her back to arm’s length. “Okay, are you ready?”

“Ready for what?”

“To see if you can Change? Probably half of your emotional outbursts will be cured with a good Change, and maybe a hunt.”

“My lioness will probably be an absolute menace.”

“I’m prepared. I’m Changing too. I’ll keep you from killing anyone.”

“Really?”

Silver nodded, her smile reaching her eyes.

Katrina brushed her knuckle down Silver’s scar. “You didn’t deserve it either. If you ever want vengeance, Rook is still deep in Cold Foot Prison somewhere.”

Silver’s eyebrows rose. “Oh, I know. So does Damon. So does Wreck. We’re all patient hunters.” Silver slung her arm over her shoulders. “Come on, Kitty Kat,” she said, using the old nickname she’d used way back when.

“Okay, Silver Fish.”

“You’re going to like Wreck’s Crew,” Silver chattered. “You’ll have females there that are cool. Wreck’s mate, Timber, is a hoot, and her sister, Sasha, is a healer and will be there too. And Wreck’s mom is moving near his mountains too and she makes the best cookies in the world. And I’ll come and visit you sometimes, and sometimes you guys will come visit us…”

Katrina smiled and smiled as Silver chattered on, leading her deeper into the woods so they could Change into their lionesses and spend the morning hunting. It would be a perfect getaway and reset. She was going to fix things with King. She’d already decided.

She couldn’t do her normal thing and run from her problems, or get quiet and let her problems fester until they were unmanageable. She didn’t think King would do well with those habits.

She would get some time with her friend in the forest, and later, she would make an apology and bring them to a better place—friendship.

Their lives were so clearly in transition, and the timing was wrong for anything more than that.

Just like he’d advised her to just breathe?

King deserved time to just breathe too.