Chapter 9

CHAPTER

NINE

Anya

F or once, Saverio gives me a little space from him, letting me visit Livy the following morning with only my bodyguards. It’s a small consolation considering the hefty decisions he’s forcing on me. Falling for a morally gray man is one thing, but marrying him is another. Marriage is sacred. It’s a vow supposed to be made in love, and what we have is lust. It’s nothing but just another arranged marriage, a loveless trap with no expiration date, and I’ve seen how that turned out for Rachele and Elena.

My mood is heavy when I enter Livy’s building. The web is spinning tighter around me, and there’s no way out any longer. The spider already injected his deadly poison when he decided I was his prey, and now I’m addicted to his toxin. He’s devouring me bit by bit, taking away all my control. Before I know it, he’ll swallow me whole .

The thumping of music reaches me through the walls when I near Livy’s apartment.

She opens the door with a big smile, wearing a snazzy designer tracksuit and… Wait. Is that glitter in her hair? And what’s with the heavy metal that blares in the background?

“Come in,” she says over the music, pulling me in for a hug before shouting in my ear, “I baked apple pie.”

Ouch. That hurt my eardrum.

She rushes to a boom box sprayed with dayglo graffiti that stands on the coffee table in the lounge and switches it off.

I walk into the welcome warmth of her apartment, inhaling the fragrance of cinnamon and apples that hangs in the air.

Unwinding the light cotton scarf from around my neck, I ask, “Are you listening to metal now?”

“I was just practicing some dance moves.” She walks with a brisk pace to the kitchen. “Come through. Let’s sit at the table. You’ll get glitter on your clothes if you sit on the sofa. I may have shaken it over the furniture when I got to the head banging bit of my repertoire.” She says repertoire with an exaggerated French accent.

Grinning, I close the door and follow her to the kitchen.

“How are you doing?” she asks, pulling out a chair by the table.

“I was fired,” I blurt out.

She props her hands on her hips. “Is this what that old hog, Ms. Price, told you?”

“Ms. Lewis is making changes.”

She purses her lips. “Karen has always been jealous of anyone more talented or prettier than her.” A frown creases her brow. “Do you have something else lined up? ”

I admit with reluctance, “Saverio wants me to work for him.”

“That’s wonderful,” she exclaims. “Then everything will fall into place. You’ll be a great asset for his team, and he’s such a clever businessman.” Waving a finger at me, she adds, “That man is going places.”

I let her believe that, not saying anything as she bustles to the kettle and switches it on.

“Tea?” she shoots over her shoulder. “It’ll warm us up.” She rubs her hand. “There’s a chill in the air today.”

“Thanks.” I try to smile. “You sit down. I’ll make the tea.”

She busies herself with setting out plates and cutting the pie while I brew and pour the tea.

When she takes a seat opposite me, I ask something I’ve been wondering about for years. “Why did you never settle down with a man, Livy?” I add quickly, “If you don’t mind me asking.”

A wistful look comes over her features. “I was in love once.” She stares at a spot on the wall with a soft glint in her midnight blue eyes. “Was I ever in love.” She cups her mug. “Oh, the naughtiness we got up to. We did wild, terrible things that will make you blush.” Sighing in a happy rather than a sad way, she meets my eyes again. “It was the kind of love that happens only once in a lifetime, perhaps once in a thousand years, so when he died, I knew there would never be anyone else for me.” She nods to herself. “Oh yes, Harvard Jackson ruined me for all other men.” She adds with a mischievous smile, “He made a thorough job of it too, and I loved every minute.”

I reach over the table to squeeze her arm. “Oh, Livy, I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t have to be. I don’t regret meeting Harvey, not even for a second. Every moment we had together was magic. He gave me enough to last me a lifetime. You see, when he passed away, my love didn’t die. I love him still, to this day.”

My chest squeezes with compassion. “Aren’t you ever lonely?”

“I like my own company. I have a full life. I plan on enjoying each second until I skid into my grave.” She holds up a finger. “I could do a knee-slide and some serious head banging on the way out. I’ve always liked to shake my hair with my booty. That will be a grand way to make an exit.”

I laugh, imagining the scene. “You’re something else.”

She winks. “I should change my repertoire . My choreography needs something a little livelier.” She pushes a plated piece of pie my way. “What about you? Is Saverio the one ?”

I pick up my cake fork, toying with the flower design on the handle. “We’re getting married.”

“Anya.” She clasps a hand over her mouth. “That’s wonderful.” She jumps up and comes around the table before framing my face between her willowy fingers and kissing my cheek. “Congratulations. That’s wonderful news.” When I don’t reply immediately, she pulls away with a frown. “This is what you want, right?” She pauses. “Wait. Who proposed? You or him?”

I clear my throat, choosing my words carefully. “It’s Saverio’s idea.”

“But?”

“He’s not doing it for the right reasons.”

“Oh,” she says slowly. “You think he’s marrying you because of the baby. Well, of course he is. That’s what any gentleman would do. I’d be disappointed in him if he didn’t. That doesn’t mean he’s marrying you for the wrong reasons, my darling child. It’s obvious he’s crazy about you. He just wants to take care of you, and that says a lot about the kind of man he is.” She grips my shoulder and says with a gentle smile, “Not every man would accept to raise another man’s baby.”

If only she knew the man she defends is blackmailing me with her life.

After dropping the bomb last night, Saverio promised he’d pay me a fair salary so that I’d have my own money. He knows how important my financial independence is to me. Safety and financial stability seem very attractive in my current situation, but it’s the how and not necessarily the what that’s the problem. Because the marriage he proposed is nothing but a business deal, an exchange for services.

I’m not a romantic like Livy, but I never thought I’d marry for all the wrong reasons. I thought I’d tie the knot with someone who loved and respected me.

Perhaps Saverio doesn’t care because he already married someone he loved and respected. Maybe a second marriage isn’t such a big deal to him. From what he told me about the arranged marriages between the powerful families, in their eyes, marriage is always just another business transaction.

For the rest of the visit, Livy peppers me with questions about the baby and the pregnancy. I let her do most of the talking, taking solace in her company until it’s time to let her rest.

After leaving her place, I ask Kevin to take me to the rehabilitation center.

Bertrand is surprised to see me. It’s not my regular visiting day.

“Are you on leave?” he asks, opening the door wider.

“In between jobs,” I say with a strained smile. “I’m not coming inside today.”

“Oh.”

He steps outside and closes the door before leaning on the wall in a sunny spot with one leg bent and his Croc braced on the bricks. I appreciate him all the more for doing this. He doesn’t have to make time for me.

He takes a packet of gum from his pocket and offers it to me.

I shake my head.

He pops one into his mouth and stares at the clouds that draw close in the sky. “It’s going to rain this afternoon. The snow will come early this year.”

“How’s your daughter doing?” I ask. “Has the baby arrived?”

A grin splits his face. “On Thursday morning at two-thirty-five. A beautiful, healthy boy. Seven pounds eight ounces and nineteen point seven inches.”

“Congratulations.” Happiness warms my chest. “What’s his name?”

“They’re revealing it at the Christening.” He chuckles. “It’s a clever way of avoiding the family fight that broke out about what the first grandson should be called.”

I smile. “That sounds wise. I’m glad they’re both doing fine. You’ll make a great granddad.”

He shoves his hands in his pockets. “I hope so.” He shoots me a grin. “My daughter didn’t turn out too bad, so there’s that.”

“She’s lucky to have you,” I say a little wistfully. “Your grandson too.”

He accepts the compliment gracefully, acknowledging it with a warm smile.

A comfortable silence falls between us. It’s one of the qualities I love most about Bertrand. He only speaks when he has something meaningful to say. He doesn’t suffer from the need to pollute a perfectly peaceful moment with verbal diarrhea.

We both turn our faces to the sky, looking at the pictures the clouds make as they shift to form ever-changing patterns on the ground. The scent of overturned soil hangs in the air. A subtle freshness already rises from the dewy ground, creeping around my ankles.

“How’s she doing?” I ask while drilling the tip of my sneaker into the grass.

His smile stays intact as he studies the clouds. “Mary is Mary.” Turning his face back to me, he says, “Mary will always be Mary.”

I nod, dislodging a grass poll. “Did she ask about me?”

“If she did, you would’ve gotten the call,” he says in his typical straightforward but gentle manner.

I nod again.

He remains quiet, giving me time to gather my thoughts. When I finally look at him, he’s studying me with a solemn expression and a soft light in his eyes.

“I’m not coming back here, Bertrand.” It hurts to say it. “At least not for a while. What’s happening in my life… I have to focus on myself now.”

He drops his gaze to my stomach. “How far are you?”

His question catches me off guard. I didn’t think he’d noticed. I’m not carrying big. Everyone else gathers I’ve just gained a little weight.

Placing my hand in an instinctive reaction over my belly, I say, “Five months.”

“Bringing a child into the world is a big responsibility. Now I understand why your boyfriend is so eager to put a ring on your finger.”

Feeling compelled to explain the bizarre first meeting he had with Saverio, I say, “It’s complicated.”

“Does he treat you well?”

“Yes,” I admit. If I overlook how he’s taken over every aspect of my life.

“Pregnancy and planning a wedding are both happy but stressful events. You’re right to make yourself the priority.”

I mimic his pose, resting my weight on the wall next to him. The warmth that the sun baked into the bricks travels through my clothes and into my skin, yet I remain cold inside.

“Can I call you for updates?” I ask. “I know how busy you are, always working overtime.”

He pushes off the wall and comes to stand in front of me. Pressing a finger on my chest, he says, “Just make sure you are all right. No one else is going to do it for you. You have a responsibility as a mother now with a small person on the way who’s going to rely solely on you for his survival. Sometimes, it’s necessary to prune the dead branches that prevent the tree from growing up and finding the sun.”

I consider that.

“Mary can speak to you whenever she wants,” he continues. “She knows how to reach you. All she has to do is ask.” He puts a hand on my shoulder, his grip strong and reassuring. “Never feel guilty for setting boundaries. If you don’t, you only allow others to bulldoze over you.” He gives a squeeze before dropping his arm to his side. “Go on and have a life.” He shoves his hands in his pockets and says with a wink over his shoulder as he strolls away, “You deserve it.”

After all the horrible lies I told, the question is, do I?