Chapter 5

CHAPTER

FIVE

Anya

S taring at the sparkly surface of the Hudson River, I stir honey into my mint tea. I’ve done multiple searches for keys with cylinder-shaped ends and came up with a few for strongboxes and safes but not one resembles the key I found in the vault at the firm.

I wish I could ask a key maker, but Saverio’s men follow me everywhere. He’ll no doubt find out about such a visit, and I can’t explain why I’m searching for what the key unlocks.

“Hey.” Tersia snaps her fingers in front of my face. “Where are you? I bet you heard nothing I said.”

We’re sharing a table in a cozy tearoom not far from the firm. Our lunch dates became a regular habit. We’re meeting at least twice a week.

“I’m sorry.” My smile is guilty. “I can’t stop my thoughts from wandering today.”

“Wandering where?” she asks, cupping her mug between her palms.

Besides trying to solve the riddle concerning the key? “I was just thinking about the future and what it holds.”

“Baby stuff, huh?” She blows on her mug. “I’m sure Sav has things figured out right down to applying for the best schools the very moment your baby is born, but you’re right to stay on top of things. I never rely too much on Richard even though he’s a gem. I like to know I’m self-sufficient.”

I hesitate. “There’s something I have to tell you.”

She arches a brow.

“Sav isn’t the father of my baby.”

Shock washes over her features. “You could’ve fooled me. He’s so…”

“Protective?”

“Yeah.” She searches my eyes. “Is the biological father in the picture?”

I shake my head.

“It doesn’t matter,” she says. “Sav obviously loves you and your baby. From what I’ve seen, he’s not the kind of man who makes decisions lightly. He knows what he signed up for.”

I don’t correct her, and I don’t feel lighter for getting that off my chest because even though I gave her a part of the truth, I’m not being completely honest with her. “I should’ve told you sooner.”

“Hey,” she says. “Your private life is nobody’s business, but I’m glad you shared that with me.”

I bite my lip, considering how to phrase my question. “Does Richard know anyone who deals with wills and things like that?”

“You mean as in what happens to your estate when you’re dead? ”

“Yes.” I do my best to keep a poker face. “I need someone I can trust.”

She frowns. “Is everything okay?”

“Sure.” I force a laugh. “I just want to put measures in place if anything happens to me.”

Her brow smooths out. “You want to make sure your baby is taken care of.”

Something like that.

She smiles. “Having children sure changes one’s perspectives on life, doesn’t it? I’m sure he has a few contacts. I’ll ask him.”

“Thanks.” I avert my eyes and set the spoon in my saucer. “I appreciate that.”

When I look up, she’s studying me.

Leaning over, she pats my hand. “You know it’s normal to have weird feelings and nightmares when you’re pregnant, right?”

Weird doesn’t come close to describing my situation, but I can’t tell her about that. I can’t confide in anyone, especially not if I care about them.

“How was the wedding?” she asks, putting on a bright expression.

“Strange.” I search for the right words. “I mean it was pretty with beautiful flowers, and the bride looked gorgeous, but…”

She remains quiet, waiting for me to finish.

I don’t tell her that it was an arranged marriage, that Elena looked miserable and that Raphael was drunk before the end of the party. I don’t mention that the groom took his bride upstairs to consummate the marriage while the family waited downstairs to be presented with the bloody sheet. Saverio told me about the tradition, but thankfully, he took me home long before then. I especially don’t relay what Saverio and I did in Elena’s bedroom. The memory alone sends heat to my cheeks.

“Spill it,” Tersia says. “I can see something bothers you.”

“I met Saverio’s ex-wife,” I blurt out.

Tersia’s eyes bulge. “I didn’t know he was married.”

My smile is wry. Neither did I. “How are you getting on with Richard’s ex?”

“Quite well, actually. They parted on good terms. I like Bea. We meet up for lunch at the country club every now and then.” Tersia rubs her belly. “She offered to take care of our baby on weekends to give us a break.”

“Wow, that’s very kind of her.”

“I gather your first meeting with the ex-Ms. De Luca didn’t go that well.”

“Not really.” I grin. “I doubt she’ll offer to babysit.”

“Sav loves you. That’s all that matters.”

The words are like salt being rubbed into a wound.

“Don’t look so grim,” Tersia says. “Everything is going to be fine.”

“Yes,” I say, knowing otherwise.

“I’m going to shop for baby furniture on Saturday. Why don’t you come with me? It’s so difficult to choose. I can do with a friend’s opinion.”

“I’d love to,” I say honestly.

“Good. I’ll let you know where to meet me.” She checks her watch. “Look at the time. I’ve got to run. Richard is meeting me at the ob-gyn for my monthly checkup.”

We get the bill and say our goodbyes.

I’m thoughtful during my walk back to the office, admitting a dire truth to myself. There’s a very real possibility that something may happen to me. If it does, I need to make sure my baby will be okay. Someone will have to take care of her. Saverio promised I’d never want for anything. I don’t want to take his bribe money, but I have to set my pride and sense of righteousness aside for my child. I’ll take out a life insurance policy and invest whatever he gives me in a trust fund that will ensure my baby has every possible chance of having a good future. I’ll do whatever I must, but my child won’t grow up like I did.

My mind made up, I take out my phone and call Tersia.

She answers with, “Did you forget something?”

“I wanted to wait for the right moment, but maybe there isn’t a right time to ask.”

“Go ahead. I’m listening.”

I let the words out in a rush before I can change my mind. “Will you be my baby’s godmother? We haven’t known each other for that long, but it’ll mean a lot to me.” I add quickly, “Please take your time to think it over. I don’t want to put you on the spot.”

“Oh my God, yes,” she shrieks. “I’d love to.”

“Are you sure? I kind of dumped this on you.”

“It’ll be an honor.”

“Thank you,” I say, pressing a hand over my chest as if I could push the emotions that threaten to escape back in.

Because there’s a very probable chance that she’s going to end up raising my child.

The thought is so devastating that all my other cognitive functions shut down. I’m incapable of forming a suitable reply. All I can do is repeat the same words in a voice on the brink of breaking.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, honey. I’m going to be an amazing godmother.”

“I have no doubt about that,” I say, my voice still tremulous .

When I hang up, I look up a few insurance companies and download information about trust funds until I reach the office.

A brown paper bag lies on my desk. I sit down, put my handbag away, and open it. It’s the novel I bought for Zack. Frowning, I pull it out. A piece of paper flitters to the floor. I pick it up and unfold it. A note is scribbled in messy handwriting.

It’s kind of you, but I can’t keep this.

What’s that supposed to mean? I scrunch the paper into a ball and dump it in the trashcan before sliding the book to the side. Does he already have the book? The purchase slip was inside. He could’ve exchanged it. It’s just a book, not a million dollars. It’s no big deal. I thought he’d be happy to have new reading material while working the night shift.

“Zack left that,” Jasmine says next to me.

I wake up my computer. “I know.”

“He had an appointment with HR.”

“About what?” I ask, worried about him.

“Annual appraisal. Mine is coming up next month. I hope I get my bonus. There’s talk that they’re cutting down on costs. With Mr. Lewis gone, some of the clients moved their business.”

“I know,” I say again, concern tightening my stomach.

Pushing everything else from my mind, I focus on my work until it’s time to clock off. I’m surprised to find Saverio’s driver, Kevin, waiting for me outside together with the usual guards who’ll follow us in their own car. I got used to Saverio driving me around himself.

On cue, a text message comes in on my phone. Saverio tells me he’s caught up in a meeting at the club, so I decide to go past Livy’s place. She’s always been clever with investments. I use the opportunity to ask her about various trust funds and insurance policies. I already made some deductions from the information I read online, but Livy has been playing the stock market for years. She gives me the details of a good broker before we hug and say goodbye.

One of the guards opens the door downstairs for me. When Kevin asks if I’m heading home, I hesitate. On impulse, I ask him to go past the office again.

Zack is at his post when I walk inside.

His smile slips when he looks up and notices it’s me.

“Hey,” I say, trying to get a read on him.

He gives a stiff nod. “Ms. Brennan.”

I frown. “What’s with the formal greeting?” My laugh is uncomfortable. “I’ve always been Anya, haven’t I?”

He sits up straighter. “Things are different now.”

“Are they? Different how?”

He glances through the window behind me. “You’re with Mr. De Luca.”

“How does that change anything?”

His tone is cold. “I know who he is.”

I think everyone does, but I don’t want to say that. I can hardly stand here and admit that my fake boyfriend is a big bad mafia guy.

“Look,” he says, appearing nervous, “I don’t want trouble. I just want to do my job and keep under the radar if you know what I mean.”

Even though I understand his reasoning, his rejection hurts. He’s right not to want anything to do with me.

“I’m just a security guard, Ms. Brennan, but I’m not stupid.” He adds with hostility, “I have no proof, but I know in my gut Mr. De Luca had something to do with Mr. Lewis’s murder.”

I have nothing to say to that. I can only stare at him .

He stands. “I appreciate your kindness, but it’s better that we keep our distance.”

“Right,” I say, shame burning on my cheeks. “That’s why you returned the book.”

His smile is wry. “I don’t want to give Mr. De Luca the wrong idea about us. I’ve got eyes in my head. I’ve seen the way he is with you. Something like that can get someone like me killed.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way.” What else can I say?

“Good night, Ms. Brennan,” he says, dismissing me with a decisive tilt of his head toward the door.

I turn for the exit, understanding how a life with Saverio will be like. The good and honest people will shun me. They’ll fear me. I’ll end up having to cut out everything that’s good and embrace the darkness. I’ll have to teach my baby about values and principles while sleeping with the monster.

I’ll have to find a way of forgiving myself for falling for a killer.