Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Anya

T en little fingers and toes.

I count them again under the blanket that covers us, cradling the tiny bundle in the hospital nursery where we’re doing skin-to-skin bonding. The nurse calls it kangaroo care.

I pin my chin against my chest to stare at the perfect little baby in my arms. A downy layer of soft strawberry-blond hair covers her head. She’s the most beautiful and fragile small human I’ve seen.

“Hey there, Claire,” I croon. “You came into this world with a bang, didn’t you?” My heart constricts painfully just thinking about it. “You’re so well-loved, sweet darling.” I press a kiss on her crown. “Mommy will protect you, no matter what.”

I glance at the window where Dante waits on the other side. I had to dump the title of godfather on him before they’d let him into the special care nursery. He’s not as much here to welcome Claire into the world as to assess the weak points in the security system. Men are already stationed in the maternity unit as well as in the ICU.

When the nurse tells me it’s time to put Claire back in the incubator, I hold her against me for another moment before I let her go. Dante turns his back to the window while I button up my pajama top.

A nurse wheels me outside.

“I’ve got her from here,” Dante says, taking the wheelchair.

I twist my neck to look at my baby as he pushes me to the elevators, unwilling to say goodbye to her already.

“She’s gorgeous,” he says. “So tiny. I didn’t know babies are that fucki—” He coughs. “Sorry. That small.”

“Just say it, Dante. You can swear in front of me. Saverio only asked you not to because babies can discern voices in the womb.”

He pushes the button to call the elevator. “They can?”

“They can hear sounds like the mother’s heartbeat from as early as sixteen weeks. They only make out voices from six or seven months, but you know how Saverio can be.”

“Over the top?” he says with a chuckle.

My chest squeezes when I think about my overbearing and overprotective husband.

When the doors open, Dante pushes me inside.

“Well, fuck me,” he says. “I didn’t know that about babies, not that I know anything.” He laughs. “Hell, it feels good to express myself properly again.”

“As long as you don’t swear in front of Claire.”

“Cross my heart.” He selects our floor. “I’ll be an exemplary godfather.”

“You don’t have to be.” I add, “Her godfather, I mean.”

“Are you kidding me? I’m honored.”

“Saverio will like that.”

I stifle a sob, willing my heart not to break now. If I start crying, I won’t be able to stop, and Dante is right. I have to be strong. There’s much to be done.

“Even if he doesn’t, I’m not giving up my title.” Dante chuckles. “Never had a goddaughter before. I think I’m going to enjoy spoiling her.”

Thinking about Claire’s godmother, I turn serious. “I need my phone.”

“Livy will bring it. She should be back any minute.”

“Is it safe to go to the house?”

“The cops are all over our friends and enemies. Raphael will lie low for a while. I sent a man with her just in case.”

I nod my gratitude. “I have to call Tersia.”

“You can use my phone while you wait for Livy.”

Scrubbing my hands over my face, I admit, “She must hate me. God, I almost got them killed. How do I even explain what happened?”

“Just tell her the parts of the truth that you can. I checked. She’s a bit spooked, but she’s fine. Baby too. She called the hospital several times for news. I told her you and Claire were fine, but I asked the nurses to give you a bit of time before bombarding you with telephone calls and visitors.”

“Thanks.” I catch his gaze in the reflection of the mirrored wall. “I don’t know what we would’ve done without you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“Now I’m grateful my mom wasn’t there.” Not that Saverio would’ve invited her. We haven’t been on speaking terms since the day she humiliated me in front of him.

“You better let her know you’re all right. The attack has been headline news since yesterday.”

The doors open on the maternity floor.

“When can I see Saverio? Dr. Loter said soon. Has he left a message while I was with Claire?”

Dante doesn’t reply.

“Dante?” I say when he pushes me past the visitors’ lounge where two of Saverio’s men stand with paper cups from the coffee vending machine in their hands, looking ill at ease in jeans and sweaters instead of their habitual suits.

They’re not making a good job of blending in.

“Dante,” I say again, a little louder this time.

He stops in front of my private room. “It’s too early.”

My heart beats out of rhythm. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

He opens the door and wheels the chair inside. Dinner waits on the trolley at the foot-end of the bed—spinach and mashed potatoes.

Hooking a hand beneath my armpit, he hoists me to my feet and helps me to the bed. “He doesn’t want to see anyone just yet.”

Every heartbeat that falls between my ribs turns into a dull ache. “Not even me?”

Dante’s tone is apologetic. “Give him time. His injuries… He’s got a lot to deal with.”

I clench my jaw not only against the discomfort when I get onto the bed but also because the rejection hurts worse than any physical pain.

“Want to use my phone to call Tersia?” he asks, reaching for it in his pocket.

I know what he’s doing. He’s using a diversion to avoid talking about why Saverio doesn’t want to see me when my husband of only a few hours came as close to dying as he’ll ever get.

“Thanks, but I’ll wait for Livy,” I say. “You need to go home and get some rest.”

He scratches his head. “I’m good.”

“Dante.”

He looks at me and waits.

“You have to speak to the men,” I say.

His expression sobers.

“You have to call a meeting and keep up the morale,” I continue. “Tell them Saverio is doing great.”

“Anya,” he says, shaking his head.

I harden my voice. “Tell them he’s going to make the men responsible for the attack pay. They need to hear that.”

A muscle ticks in his jaw.

“Take money from the safe at After Dark. Go see the families of the men who died. They must be compensated.”

“Anya—”

“That’s how it works.” My tone is harsh. “Funerals have to be arranged. The women have children to take care of. I’ll visit the families myself when I’m discharged tomorrow. In the meantime, I want a list of the dead and the injured. I’ll pull the records with their next of kin and employment history at work. Luigi took out life insurance for every man who worked for him. I’ll deal with the insurance company.”

Spreading his hands, he says, “You just had a baby. It’s too soon.”

“Just do it, Dante. This is what Saverio would’ve ordered if he was in the right state of mind. Make sure the people you see know that Saverio sent you. Tell them he’s recovering but strong. Tell them he’s determined to make this right.” I hold his gaze. “We have to keep the organization together now more than ever. We can’t let the men believe Raphael weakened us. What our men need most now is hope. Luigi and Giorgio are gone. Someone needs to take over, and that someone is Saverio. Make sure everyone understands that. They trust him. They have faith in him. Make sure they know he’ll avenge every man who died.”

Dante purses his lips.

“The next few hours are critical,” I say. “If no one takes charge, there will be chaos. We have a better chance at protecting the territory if we align the men and communicate a clear strategy.”

His lips quirk. “You sound like Sav.”

“Then you know I’m right.”

“I’ll do what must be done.”

Tipping my head toward the door, I say, “Get some sleep when you’ve spoken to everyone. You’ve been up all night.”

The grin that stretches his lips looks creepy in a dangerous way. “We’ll get them. They’ll pay.”

I can’t help but shiver.

“Call me if you need me,” he says. “Or if there’s any changes with Sav.”

I try to smile. “You’ll be the first to know.”

I wait until he’s gone and then I slowly ease myself off the bed. It’s still uncomfortable to walk, but the sooner I exercise, the sooner I’ll grow stronger and heal. I pull on the pajamas and bath robe Dante got for me and stick my feet into the slippers.

When I pass the lounge, the men dump their paper cups in the trash can and follow me.

The progress to the ICU is slow. I have to take small steps and walk up the wheelchair ramp instead of using the stairs. At the nurse’s station, I explain who I am and ask for Saverio’s room number.

Two men stand at attention in the hallway not far from Saverio’s door.

One of them blocks my way. “Mr. De Luca doesn’t want visitors.”

“I’m his wife,” I bite out.

“I know who you are, Mrs. De Luca.”

“Then step aside.”

At my cutting look, he falters. He glances at his friend before lowering his head and letting me pass.

I open the door with my heart in my throat. And then I stop dead. Nothing could’ve prepared me for the sight of Saverio’s battered and bandaged body. A gauze covers the right side of his face. I think about what Dr. Loter told me but push those thoughts down when a sob threatens to tear from my chest.

At the click when I close the door, Saverio turns his head. His gaze flares for the briefest of moments before it hardens with the set of his mouth.

It hurts me to see his body so broken. It hurts to know why he’s broken. Yet he still looks like the invincible man I got to know. I have to believe it. It has to be true, because I can’t live with the alternative, knowing it’s my fault.

“Saverio,” I whisper.

Instead of answering, he faces the wall.

“Sav,” I say again, inching closer.

“Go away, Anya,” he rasps. “There’s nothing here for you.”