Chapter 34

Chapter Thirty-Four

Anya

“ I thought we were going to a restaurant,” I say, leaning down to catch a glimpse through the windscreen as Kevin takes the familiar turn to Park Slope.

Saverio sits quietly next to me in the SUV, his big hand resting possessively over mine on the seat between us. He looks hot in a modern three-piece suit with a silver tie. The eyepatch as well as the gold hoop earring give him a distinctive edge of roughness and danger.

“I forgot something at home,” he says.

I turn my head to face him. “A gun?”

His lips quirk at my sarcasm. He’s very much aware of the fact that I know he keeps a gun under his seat at all times, even when Claire is strapped into her car seat in the row behind us. Especially when Claire is in the car with us.

If I’m waiting for his comeback, it seems I’ll be waiting a long time. Unease washes over me. He’s been unusually quiet since the Jacuzzi incident when I slipped up and mentioned the L-word.

“Is everything all right?” I ask.

His expression softens. Leaning over, he presses a kiss on my lips. “Everything is perfect, tesoro .”

“You’re keeping something from me.”

The minute tightening of his eye tells me I’m right.

“What’s going on, Saverio?”

He rubs a thumb over my knuckles, the gesture meant to be soothing. “Nothing. Just relax. I want you to enjoy the evening.”

I want to protest, but Kevin pulls through the gates of Saverio’s property.

“Come with me,” Saverio says, giving my hand a squeeze when the car comes to a stop. “Livy will stay with Claire.”

As if the plan was agreed on beforehand, Livy and Dante get out of the car that followed behind us and come over.

A guard gets Saverio’s door. He climbs out of the car and takes his cane from the back before coming around to open my door. Accepting the hand he offers, I let him help me to my feet.

The evening breeze is cold. I pull my coat tighter around me.

“We’ll just be a moment,” he says to Livy, who’s wearing her favorite faux fur coat and hat over her sari.

“Don’t worry.” Livy winks. “Dante and I are right here with Claire. You go ahead.”

They’re all in on something. I know it. Maybe Saverio wants to give me a birthday gift before we go to the restaurant. We decided to take Claire with us because I wasn’t comfortable leaving her at home with a nanny I don’t know. Instead, Saverio suggested taking a nanny to the restaurant who could take care of Claire if she got fussy. He wanted me to fully enjoy the meal. We contacted a reputable agency and interviewed several nannies before deciding on an elderly lady with many years of experience that reminded me of a sweet little granny.

The nanny herself, Rosemary, comes down the steps of the porch as Saverio puts my hand on the crook of his arm and leads me to the house.

“Mrs. and Mr. De Luca,” Rosemary says in a self-assured manner, extending a hand to greet us.

She wears baby-blue slacks and a matching cardigan, looking both smart and comfortable. Her gray hair is cut into a fashionable pixie style, and her light make-up is flawless.

“I’m so sorry,” I say, shaking her hand. “I thought we were meeting at the restaurant. I hope you didn’t wait long.”

I cast a questioning look at Saverio. Was there a change of plans? Is that why we came past the house?

“Not at all.” Rosemary looks over my shoulder to where Livy and Dante stand next to the SUV. “Can I say hello to Claire?”

We introduced her to Claire during her interview, and Claire was happy to be picked up and carried on Rosemary’s hip.

“Of course,” I say. “I already packed a bag with everything Claire will need for the restaurant.” Noticing her own absence of a handbag, I add, “If you’d like to get your bag, we’ll be off soon.”

Rosemary’s smile is indulgent, adding to my suspicion that something is off.

“Sure, Mrs. De Luca,” she says. “I’ll just be a minute.”

I stare after her as she makes her way over to Livy and Dante.

“Come.” Saverio brings my attention back to him. “We better not keep them waiting.”

“What’s going on?” I ask again.

He only nods at the guard who opens the front door. The house is quiet. The dim hallway ceiling lights illuminate our way to the kitchen. He stops at the back door and presses down the handle. Maybe he got something for the backyard, a new fire pit that Livy, Nicole, and I can illegally use to grill marshmallows on our ladies’ nights.

The door swings open, revealing the dark terrace and yard, and then a trillion lights go on all at once. My heart jolts in my chest. White stringed bulbs glow along the perimeter of the property. Fairy lights are twisted around every tree and hang in twinkling curtains from the branches. The terrace is decked out in the same stringed lights that run along the edge of the garden with fairy lights wound around the pillars. Right in the middle of the blinding glow of silver lights stands a big white gazebo. A path lined by lanterns and flowers leads to the entrance.

“Saverio,” I gasp, unable to move my gaze away from the giant tent on the lawn. “What is this?”

“We better go have a look,” he says with a hint of mischief in his deep voice.

“What did you do?” I ask as he guides me over the terrace and down the path.

Huge arrangements of roses and lilies in autumn hues hang from white wrought iron posts along the path. I gape at the floral abundance, admiring the delicate beauty of the blooms and inhaling their sweet perfume.

Saverio pauses at the opening of the gazebo. He looks at me with a warm light in his blue gaze. “Ready?”

Placing a hand on my chest, I say honestly, “I’m not sure.”

He pushes back the flap with his arm, and then my heart almost stops as a horde of people shout, “Surprise!”

I cling to Saverio’s elbow. “Oh my God.” Confused for a moment, I battle to process the sight.

Nicole jumps out of nowhere, her arms flailing wide as she rushes toward me in an elegant silver evening gown. “Surprise, darling.”

She hugs me, forcing me to let go of Saverio.

“I’m sorry,” she gushes. “I know the whole yelling surprise thing is a cliché, but I couldn’t resist. Let’s get you out of this coat.” She helps me to remove the coat. Thanks to the widespread outdoor mushroom heaters, it’s warm inside. “Oh my God. You look gorgeous.” Handing the coat to a nearby waiter, she says, “Leave this in the house.” To me, she says, “We set up a cloak room for the guests in the entrance.” She pushes me deeper inside with her hands on my shoulders. “Welcome to your party, darling.”

My lips part as I stare at the setup in front of me. Everyone from the club and their partners are there. A white and gold checkered floor laid down on the lawn ensures the ladies’ heels won’t sink into the grass. A full bar complete with a mixologist who’s making a show of juggling bottles of liquor is set up in the corner. Cocktail tables and barstools are scattered throughout the space. Waiters stand at attention around the sides of the tent, seemingly waiting for the word to serve the guests.

At the other end, musicians sit on a stage. They start playing a slow version of happy birthday while Nicole urges me to enter. Saverio takes my hand and walks me inside under the loud clapping of the guests. I look up at the ceiling that’s draped with fairy lights and flowers. An arrangement of lilies and roses in the shape of a chandelier hangs from the center of the roof. Everything is unbelievably beautiful, and it’s all for me.

My chest tightens with emotions as we walk through the crowd toward a table on the side with flowers in the center. No one looks at me with hostility, pity, or misplaced envy like they did at our wedding. They all smile at me as if my joys and perils are the same as theirs now. The desperate fight for survival is a powerful bond. It ties us together, and that makes me one of them.

I look over my shoulder to see Livy and Dante who sneaked in behind us. They must’ve gone around the side of the house. Livy beams, giving me a bright smile. The surprise is meant for me, but it makes her happy. My mom has never been happy for me. On the contrary, she hated it when I was happy. It makes me appreciate Livy all the more for her unconditional love and selflessness.

Dante nods, a quiet message passing between us. He’s telling me to forget about our problems for one night and to simply enjoy the big deal Saverio is making about my birthday.

My heart squeezes as I turn my gaze to the man who, despite the cane, walks proudly next to me. And then my breath stutters. Because he’s taken off the eyepatch.

“Saverio,” I cry out softly.

He looks down at me. The transformation is striking. The custom-made acrylic eye replaces the temporary one. It’s so well made you won’t notice the difference unless you study it closely. The color matches the infinite blue of his own eye. The uncanny effect throws me straight back into the past, into a time when Saverio looked at me with predatory intentions burning in that icy blue stare.

I want to tell him what a work of art that artificial eye is, how it changes his steely regard when he doesn’t wear the eyepatch, but I only manage to say through dry lips, “You didn’t tell me.”

He brings me around the table. “I wanted to surprise you.”

“The change is extraordinary,” I say when he pulls out a chair and seats me.

His mouth lifts in one corner in acknowledgement of the compliment as he sits down next to me.

The song and the clapping come to an end. Waiters rush forward, filling the glasses on the tables with champagne. When our glasses are full, Saverio pushes to his feet, leaving his cane against his chair. I don’t miss how he spreads the fingers of his left hand and presses them on the tabletop for balance as he raises the glass in his right hand.

The gazebo goes quiet. Everyone stands.

My husband turns his face toward me, the quiet second in which our eyes lock just for me. In that second, he says more with his smile than he can ever say with words. For a moment, he’s an open book, allowing me to see everything—the pride, the respect, the heat, and the crazy obsession. For that moment, no one else exists. I’m just a woman in love with a man, and he’s the man who promised to take care of me. When it comes down to the basics, it’s as simple as that. We’re just a man and a woman doing our best to survive. I can’t ask more of him when he’s doing his best to make me happy. Not even love.

Another second and another lingering smile that’s mine alone pass, and then he gives me to the crowd, allowing me to escape the magnetic hold of his attention.

“I’d like to make a toast in honor of my wife, my partner, and the mother of my child.”

A chorus of, “Hear, hear!” sounds from the crowd.

Looking me straight in the eye, he continues his speech. “Anya, you’re more than my match in every way. You’re generous, kind, caring, and beautiful inside and out. You’re an amazing mother. You’re a genius and an opponent to be reckoned with. You’re the reason I breathe. You’re my most precious treasure. We’re lucky to have you, my love.”

Calls of agreement rise from the audience.

“Happy birthday, tesoro .”

Cheers and clapping follow, but I’m deaf and blind to everything but the beautifully broken man next to me. When I look at him, I don’t see scars and physical setbacks. I see a man who possesses loyalty and a strength of spirit I admire. I see the man I love. To me, he’s perfect. He’ll always be perfect for me.

I mouth thank you as he lifts the glass to his lips and officializes the toast by drinking. No one has ever done anything like this for me. It’s difficult to contain my emotions, but I don’t have a choice when small groups of guests come up to chat to us for a few moments before moving on.

When the long line of people in front of our table finally fizzles out, the band strikes up a song while the waiters serve cocktail food.

I take Saverio’s hand where it rests on the tabletop. “Thank you for doing this.”

Cupping my face, he brushes a thumb over my cheek. “Happy?”

I nod.

“Good.” He holds fast for another moment before letting go. “That’s all I want.”

“How did you manage to keep this a secret?” I motion around the space. “It must’ve taken a chunk of time to organize.”

“Nicole took care of the arrangements. I just told her what I wanted.” He quickly corrects, “What I thought you’d like.”

“I do. I love it.” I look around. “Where is Nicole? I’d like to thank her.”

He chuckles. “Probably breathing down the catering staff’s necks in the kitchen. Don’t worry. You’ll have time to say thank you later.”

I spot Logan in conversation with Dante. Livy sits with Roy, who laughs from his belly at something she says.

“I’d like to check on Claire.” I push back my chair. “I want to make sure Rosemary has everything she needs.”

In an instant, Saverio is on his feet. “I’ll walk you.”

We go through the kitchen that has turned into a bustle of activity with caterers preparing bite-sized whipped ricotta crostini and antipasto skewers, waiters scurrying in and out, and Nicole shouting orders at everyone.

Rosemary sits in the small reading alcove on the upstairs landing with a book open on her lap. The baby monitor stands next to her on the table.

She looks up with a smile when we approach. “I gave Claire the bottle you left and put her down to sleep not five minutes ago. The poor darling was exhausted. It looks as if she had a tiring day.”

“There was definitely a lot of excitement involved,” Saverio says. “We spent the day in the mountains.”

“That explains it then.” Rosemary closes her book on a bookmark. “The fresh air has a tendency to make one sleep well.”

“She didn’t give you any trouble?” I ask.

“Not at all. Her eyes were closing even before I put her down.”

“We’re right downstairs if you need us,” I say.

“Don’t worry, Mrs. De Luca. I won’t hesitate to come find you if I don’t manage.”

“Thank you.” My smile is grateful. “I’ll send up a waiter with some food.”

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that.” Rosemary points at the bag at her feet. “I already had dinner, and I always come prepared with snacks. Please don’t put yourself out on my behalf. I’m here so that you can enjoy your special evening. Don’t fret if the party runs later than planned. I’m happy to stay until whenever you need me.”

“That’s very kind of you, but I doubt I’ll even make it to midnight.” I laugh. “Claire is up at five every morning, so I tend to go to bed early.”

“It’s difficult in the beginning,” she says with compassion. “It will stabilize once she sleeps through the night. Just make sure she gets her three naps a day. Babies sleep better at night if they’re not overtired. Many parents I babysit for think their babies will wake up later if they put them to bed later, but it always backfires.”

“Call my number if you need anything,” Saverio says. “We’ll check in on her later again.”

Rosemary goes back to her reading while Saverio and I go to the nursery. Claire sleeps soundly in her crib, her little face turned to the side and her small hands next to her head. I dressed her in the pink pajamas with the white pelican print that Livy bought for her. Her long, copper lashes brush her cheeks, and her rosebud lips are parted slightly. The sound of her even breathing is soothing. It makes me want to curl up and cuddle next to her.

I brush a hand over her soft, downy hair. “She’s so beautiful.”

Saverio kisses my shoulder. “Just like her mother.”

I turn to face him. “Thank you for this.” I point in the direction of the room where Rosemary sits. “Not only for the party, but also for getting a nanny. You thought about everything, didn’t you?” Searching his eyes, I admit, “I’m still battling to get used to you without the eyepatch.”

“It’ll grow on you.”

“I don’t care either way.” I cup his scarred cheek. The damaged skin is bumpy under my palm. “You’re perfect to me with or without the patch. What matters is what you want.”

“The only thing that matters to me, tesoro , is your opinion.”

Wow.

I don’t know what to say. He’s never been so boldly honest with me. Neither has he said all these things that are so beautiful they hurt in the good kind of way that makes me want to cry. I want to ask what happened, what caused this sudden change, but he takes my hand and pulls me past Rosemary back to the festivities where I’m quickly swallowed by the mob.

Not being a fan of huge parties, I enjoy myself nevertheless because despite the big number of guests, the gathering is intimate. We know each other like only people who shared life and death situations can. There’s no room for pretense. There’s no need. It’s different than at Elena’s wedding where people were divided into sides. There’s no Raphael to create tension, only the shadow of his existence hanging over us, but for tonight, I push the thought away. For once, I want to have fun. Saverio and Nicole deserve nothing less for their trouble.

I finally manage to track Nicole down an hour later when I spot her talking to the mixologist.

“Make sure you stock up on ice,” she says when I reach them. “The guys are switching to brandy, and we don’t want to run out. Get word to one of the waiters if you’re running low, and he’ll send a fresh batch over from the kitchen.”

“The kind of brandy they’re having is the kind you drink neat,” the barman says.

She props a hand on her hip. “You don’t know these men like I do. They don’t give a shit about the brandy drinking protocol that’s dictated by the price of the bottle. Just get the ice.”

“Hey.” I touch her arm. “You’re working too hard. You’ve been running around all night.”

“Anya,” she beams, taking me into another big hug. “Are you having fun?” She pouts. “Please tell me you’re having fun.”

I pull away with a laugh. “Everything is perfect. Thank you for not only taking care of all the arrangements but also for keeping it a secret from me. Saverio told me this amazing evening is all your doing.”

“He’s paying, so thank him.” She grins. “I’m just a damn good event organizer.”

“There’s no arguing that.” I take her elbow and pull her away from the bar. “Now come join the fun.”

“Isn’t it obvious?” She makes a face. “I am having fun. Bossing people around is my idea of enjoying an evening.”

“It’ll make me happy if you sit on your butt for a few seconds. Those heels are gorgeous, but they must be killing your feet.”

Logan heads toward us, cutting in with, “Saverio is looking for you, Anya.” He says to his wife, “The guys are ready to open the dance floor.”

“Not before we’ve served the cake,” she squeals, running past me in the direction of the kitchen.

Logan shrugs. “That’s my wife for you. She loves to run the show.”

Saverio appears next to me. Putting his palm on my lower back, he presses his lips against my ear and says in a raspy voice, “There you are.”

Goosebumps break out over my arms. The heat of his body wraps around me, inviting a shiver. I drink in the smell of his spicy cologne, wanting to drown in it. I turn around and wrap my arms around his neck, but I only get in a small kiss before a waiter wheels in a giant three-tier cake with twenty-five candles on the top. It’s a beautiful creation of artful layers of apricot-colored ganache decorated with sugared mini oranges and figs. I’m already regretting having to cut it.

“Make a wish,” Saverio says, looking at me as if he wants to eat me instead of the cake.

My skin heats under his bold stare, my body coming alive for him. Desire trickles down my belly and gathers between my legs. Only he can have this effect on me—in a room full of people no less.

Closing my eyes, I wish for one thing only. I wish that our little family will always be safe. We’re in this now, for better or for worse, by free will and by choice, and all I can do is give it my best shot. I’ll always do whatever is necessary to protect the people I love.

With that wish firmly embedded in my heart, I blow out the candles. When I open my eyes, smoke curls in thin ribbons to the roof, rising like a prayer with my wish to the ceiling.

Someone gives me a knife. Saverio’s arm brushes against mine when I cut the first slice of cake and plate it. A waiter hands me a cake fork. I cut off a piece of the spongy cake, feeding it to Saverio. He holds my gaze as he takes the bite. A spark ignites in my lower body when he licks the icing from his bottom lip. Mesmerized by the sight, I stare at him. I have a sudden urge to taste that icing on his lips, to trace the shape of his sensual mouth—the fuller bottom lip with the perfectly arched top one—with my tongue.

He takes the fork from my hand and cuts off a piece of cake that he feeds me. Flavors of passionfruit and mango explode on my tongue. The sweet and tangy tastes come as a surprise. I expected apricot or orange. The ganache is deliciously light, tasting like gooseberries. The combination of fruits works well together. He follows the action when I swallow with his eyes, fixing his gaze on the arch of my neck with desire he doesn’t bother to hide.

It’s then that it hits me. The cake and the flowers and the music—this is the wedding we never had. Fresh emotions clog up my throat. Saverio did all of this not only to make my birthday special but to give me back something that was cruelly taken from us.

The band starts playing a slow song.

Saverio holds out his hand. “May I have the honor of this dance, Mrs. De Luca?”

Swept off my feet by my husband, I place my palm in his. People stand aside for us to pass, letting us through to the center of the gazebo.

I’m surprised when Saverio hands his cane to Dante who stands at the edge of the circle of spectators who formed around the dance floor. Livy offers me an encouraging nod.

“What are you doing?” I whisper in alarm as Saverio pulls me close and locks me in an embrace.

He smiles down at me. “Dancing with my wife.”

Oh my God. That’s why he pushed himself so hard all these weeks. He wanted to do this for me.

Tears well up in my eyes as I wrap my arms around his neck. Our bodies are pressed close together as we sway to the tune. It’s a beautiful song. Something romantic. But I can only concentrate on the man who holds me in his arms and how his hardness fits against my softness. He rocks me gently while looking into my eyes with a savage hunger.

We were made for each other, to fit together like puzzle pieces. I don’t want the song to end. I want to stay here forever, swaying my hips to the rhythm of his and letting the warmth of his body envelope me. I want that alluring smell of his cologne and the safety of his strong arms to encase me. I want to revel in the knowledge that my husband is dancing with me and that he’s doing it not with a cane but with his arms around me.

A few people join us.

Lowering his head to mine, he presses our cheeks together. “I wanted to wait for the right moment to give you your gift, but this is as good a moment as any.”

“A gift?” I pull away to look at him. “This dance is the best gift you could give me.”

“We did never have a honeymoon. I was thinking the Greek islands. Or maybe you prefer Hawaii or the Maldives.”

“You want to take me to the Greek islands?”

“Someplace warm where the sun shines every day and there’s lots of sand for Claire to play in.”

“You want to take Claire with us?”

“You don’t think I’ll leave her behind?”

“I’m just surprised. I didn’t think you’d want to go away.”

“We deserve a holiday, don’t you think?”

When all of this is over. The unsaid hangs between us. He doesn’t have to put it in words for me to understand.

Accepting his generosity, I say with a smile, “I’d love that.”

“Good.” He hugs me tighter. “Then it’s settled. I’ll let you pick the destination. I’ll take care of the rest.”

I lean my face against his chest. The fabric of his jacket is scratchy beneath my cheek. I burrow deeper, wanting to make a nest for myself here where I feel safe. When I glance at him again, his forehead is shiny with perspiration. A trickle of sweat runs down his temple.

His leg. It’s hurting him.

“That’s enough,” I say, pulling away and taking his hand.

He lets me lead him to where Dante is waiting, swinging his injured leg stiffly behind him. I give him as much support as I can, trying to carry some of his weight without making it obvious that he’s leaning on me. He won’t want people to notice. Saverio is too proud.

Dante hands him the cane, a look of concern flashing over his features.

I answer his unspoken question with, “He’s fine. We’re going to sit down for a while.”

Instead of taking one of the high barstools, I head for our table with the normal chairs where he can sit more comfortably.

“We overdid it,” I say, feeling guilty.

“No.” His tone is clipped, and his features are basked in pain. “I enjoyed it. I wanted to do that since the day I married you. And later, when we go to bed, I will fuck you. To hell with my leg.”

“Saverio De Luca, you’re beyond saving.”

“I’ve got all the saving I need right here next to me.”

I want to ask what that means, but Nicole and Livy come up to us.

“It’s almost midnight,” Nicole says. “Before the clock strikes twelve, the guests want you to open their gifts. We made a gift table in the lounge. What do you say?”

“Fine, but Saverio needs to sit for ten minutes, and I want to check on Claire first.”

“I’ll come with you,” Saverio says.

My reply is firm. “You’ll do no such thing. You will sit here and have a drink with Nicole who’s been on her feet all night.”

“Mm.” Nicole wags her eyebrows. “Someone else likes to be bossy. I have to say, Sav, I’ve never seen you let anyone boss you around before. Is someone getting soft for his wife?”

Saverio turns a narrowed gaze on her.

“I’ll come with you,” Livy offers.

“No,” I say. “You stay. There’s no need to drag you away from the party. I just want to make sure Rosemary is okay.”

“In that case, I’ll go get us some drinks,” Nicole says.

I make to get up, but Saverio grabs my wrist and pulls me down for a quick but deep kiss that leaves me breathless.

“Don’t be long,” he whispers over my lips.

Knowing Livy is watching, my cheeks heat a little. I pull away, but he holds fast for another second before letting me go. I straighten my dress and walk away quickly in case Saverio is tempted to pull me onto his lap and keep me there.

I make my way through the busy kitchen and past the guest toilets where people are queuing. My heels are quiet on the carpet runner that covers the stairs. My mind still reels from Saverio’s generous gestures and kind words when I round the corner of the reading nook.

Rosemary is fast asleep, slumped in the chair with her book on her lap. The light on the baby monitor next to her indicates that it’s on. Claire is quiet, sleeping her usual stretch between feeds.

I carefully extract the book from Rosemary’s hands before closing it on her bookmark and putting it on the table. Taking the throw from the back of the chair, I cover her. I’ll wake her after I’ve opened my presents and said goodbye to our guests. If she prefers to sleep over instead of going home with Saverio’s driver at that early hour, she can use one of the spare bedrooms.

My lips curve in an automatic action when I walk into the nursery. I’m used to having Claire with me at all hours of the day and night. I miss her even after the few hours we’ve been separated during the party.

The powdery smell of baby shampoo that hangs in the room fills my nose. I tiptoe to the crib, eager to place a palm on her tummy and feel her tiny ribcage expand with her tranquil breaths.

Only, the crib is empty.

Shock slams into me.

It can’t be.

I blink to clear my eyes.

The white blanket she likes to hold in one tiny fist while sleeping is discarded at the foot-end of the crib. The pink one I pulled over her is gone.

No, it can’t be gone.

It’s impossible.

The moonlight that shifts through the window pierces the rail on the side, the bars throwing lines over the empty mattress. Dolphin shadows from the night lamp swim along the walls. The yellow looks gray in the blueish light.

It can’t be.

I shake my head as denial hooks into my brain. It’s the nightmare all over, the one I had on the morning Saverio left me sleeping to deliver a message to Claire’s biological father only to return with news that Giorgio killed Evan Kearney.

My knees cave in at the same time as my heart stops beating. A sickening heat travels through my body. My skin breaks out in cold sweat while nausea folds me double. Bile pushes up in my throat.

I grip the rail of the crib, my chest heaving. Every breath I take is a battle, the oxygen not reaching my lungs. It’s just another dream, just a cruel illusion. But when I pinch my eyes shut and open them again, the horrible truth still confronts me.

Claire is gone.

Someone took my baby.