Chapter 32

Chapter Thirty-Two

Anya

O ur victory is a given. Everyone knows it. That’s why Raphael fled. Elena vanished from the face of the earth. Only me and the guy who made the passport know her new name. It’s a secret I intend to take to my grave. Not even Saverio or Rachele knows. Rachele gave Elena money for a plane ticket, which Elena booked without anyone’s help. Elena wanted it that way because it’s safer, and I respect that.

We’re not messing around with security. Livy and I work from home, and Saverio only takes Claire out for air in our own backyard. After a few weeks, we’re all suffering from cabin fever. With Raphael gone and the immediate threat diminished, Saverio suggests an outing to the countryside for my birthday. He’s not throwing caution to the wind and taking any risks. The six-bedroom timber chalet is situated on a stretch of land in the Catskill Mountains, isolated from the other cabins. The space is open, making an ambush difficult. His men will surround the property. Just in case, he’ll keep a small helicopter on site. A pilot will fly us out if there’s any signs of danger. Drones will be used to scout the dwelling and the surrounding mountains. Checkpoints will also be put up on all the roads that give access to the site. It’s only a three-hour drive, and a convoy will go ahead to secure the area while another will follow us.

The proposal is too tempting to refuse. I’m starting to go a little crazy from being locked up in the house, and Livy needs some space. She’s too much of a free spirit to do well when stuck in one place for so long but too kind to complain.

We’re all excited about the day trip. Saverio wants to take us to a fancy restaurant in the city to celebrate when we return in the evening, so he insists on bringing in a private shopper with a selection of dresses for Livy and me to choose from. I opt for a turquoise creation with soft layers of voile while Livy falls in love with a sari style outfit in bright yellow and purple.

On the day of my birthday, we set off early. The morning is sunny. A fresh layer of snow covers the ground around the chalet, making a pretty picture with the blue sky and the mountains in the background.

I’m giddy with excitement when we park, not only to get out of the house but also because it’s my first trip anywhere outside the city.

Livy and Dante decide to stretch their legs with a short hike on snow shoes in the forest. Knowing that Saverio can’t join the outdoor excursions, I decline the invitation to go with them. Instead, Saverio builds a fire in the fireplace of the handsomely sized lounge. We play with Claire on the soft rug in front of the gentle crackling of the flames, making her laugh with a peekaboo game. After the excitement, I rock her while softly humming a nursery rhyme until her eyes start to droop.

Since Claire was born, I never tiptoed around her when she slept. I carried on with my normal tasks instead of trying to be quiet. As a result, she sleeps through any noise. It also helped that I took her to the office where she got used to napping through the sounds of people going about their day. I’m grateful for that now as it means we don’t have to whisper or creep around, afraid that we’ll wake her.

When she falls asleep, I put her down for her midmorning nap in the portable crib that Dante put up in one of the rooms. The rental company switched on the central heating before we arrived. I make sure the temperature in the room is comfortable and take the monitor receiver back to the lounge.

Saverio stands in front of the fireplace, leaning on his cane. Posing there so deep in thought while staring at the flames, he looks both invincible and vulnerable, a life force to be reckoned with but with a secret soft side underneath. That secret side is one he shows to few people. I think only Rachele, Claire, Livy, and I have been privileged enough to see the softer part of him.

He looks over his shoulder when I enter. A smile warms his face. “I reckon we have a good hour before the others come back. Claire shouldn’t wake up before noon.”

“Yes?” I go over to him, swaying my hips. “How do you suggest we use that time?”

His gaze heats as he drags it over me. “I may have an idea.”

I stop in front of him, enjoying how small and delicate he makes me feel with his sheer size and strength. “Do you now?”

Wrapping a hand around my nape, he drags me closer for a tender, lingering kiss. At the touch of his mouth on mine, a spark ignites in my belly.

“Happy birthday, tesoro ,” he whispers over my lips.

The words carry a hint of darkness that holds a promise of sinfulness. My body answers with flames erupting beneath my skin. There’s no mistaking his intention as he seems to devour me with his sight alone. I’m ready to drop my clothes right here in front of the fireplace. Making love with my husband in front of the fire sounds like a great idea, but before I can voice that, he takes my hand and leads me across the floor to the adjoining door on the other end of the room.

He’s right.

It’s better to do the responsible thing and use a room. After all, we’re not alone.

Only, when he opens the door and ushers me inside, my breath catches at the sight in front of me. We’re on a covered terrace with glass walls that give magnificent views of the mountains. On the middle of the wooden deck, steam rises from a Jacuzzi. A few deckchairs are scattered around, facing the vista.

I cover my mouth with a hand. “Oh my God. This is incredible.”

The corner of his mouth tips up. “I’m glad you like it.”

He pulls me behind him toward the Jacuzzi where a small table is set with juice and freshly cut fruit. Flowerpots with plants create a wall around the Jacuzzi, giving a measure of privacy.

He lets go of my hand and rests his cane against one of the deckchairs. I watch with fascination as he strips naked, baring his strong body and scars as well as his impressive hard-on.

“What are you doing?” I ask, glancing at the snowcapped landscape outside. “The guards are watching the house. What if someone sees you?”

He gets into the water with some difficulty. “They can’t see us behind these plants. Come on. Get in.” His smile is seductive. “The water is nice.”

He pushes a button. Immediately, bubbles erupt on the steamy surface of the water. Biting my thumb nail, I consider the invitation. Thanks to the central heating, the terrace is warm even as sparkly snow glistens coldly outside. It’s tempting, but I’m reluctant to take off my clothes here in the open.

“You won’t regret it,” he says with a wicked gleam in his eye.

I’ve never been inside a Jacuzzi. I can’t see the men from here, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have their binoculars trained on the terrace. However, knowing Saverio as well as I do, he’ll never let anyone get a glimpse of my naked body. As he assured me so many times, any such man will end up dead.

Making up my mind, I duck behind the plants and peel out of my clothes before quickly climbing down the steps into the water.

Oh wow.

The warmth is soothing. I moan as I sink into the bubbles up to my shoulders, admitting with a sigh, “This is heaven.”

Saverio pats the seat next to him. “Come here.”

I go over and sit down. Jets of water hit my shoulders and my lower back, massaging my tense and tired muscles. I haven’t even realized how wound up I am until now. The war against Raphael is taking its toll on everyone.

Closing my eyes, I lean my head back on the side. “How come you’ve never made me get into a Jacuzzi before?”

He chuckles. “Are you enjoying it?”

I open my eyes and lift my head to look at him. “I’m more than enjoying it. I’m loving it.”

He brushes back his dark hair with his fingers. “In that case, I’ll get you one.”

The action bunches his biceps, drawing my gaze to his muscular arms. “A Jacuzzi? Really?”

His expression turns earnest. “Whatever you want. Say the word, and it’s yours.”

He’s serious. Saverio never says anything he doesn’t mean. The oath is generous as well as a little scary because he’ll just as easily kill someone for making me unhappy as he’ll buy me a yacht if that’s what I want. Yet it’s not the weight his words carry that gets to me. It’s having him next to me with not a shred of clothing while decadently gentle bubbles caress all the erogenous zones of our bodies.

The sight of him naked in the water is mesmerizing. I can visualize the shape and size of his cock beneath the foamy bubbles as well as the darker, bulbous head that bobs in the flow where it reaches his navel. The dark patch of manly hair that cuts a triangle across his groin and cushions the heavy sac at the root of his cock makes me want to bury my fingers there. His handsome features are devastating in their beauty, the perfectly unblemished lines of the unmarred left side mixing with the shockingly damaged right to create a powerful portrait of masculine perfection that’s only enhanced by the imperfection and the stark contrast of the black eyepatch.

Lowering his head slowly, he aims for my lips. My whole body starts tingling even before he slants his lips over mine. He doesn’t ask for permission to explore my mouth. He licks the depths with hungry, lazy strokes of his tongue, effectively and meticulously waking every nerve ending in my body.

I turn helpless in the wake of the ecstasy that fires through my veins. This is how a rabbit must feel in the clutches of a boa constrictor when it wraps its prey in an oddly soothing but lethal caress. Lethargy as sweet and thick as honey takes over my brain and turns my thoughts foggy.

When I moan helplessly into the kiss, he lifts me onto his lap so that I’m straddling him. Without breaking the magic spell of that dangerous kiss, he tweaks my nipples and manipulates them with cruel pinches and tender flicks of his thumbs until my breasts are swollen and heavy and my body begs for a deeper touch.

“Sav,” I protest when it gets too much, pulling away not only to breathe but also to clear my mind that feels drugged with lust.

His cock is thick and warm between my legs. Unable to resist, I drag a hand over the crest and down his length.

Hissing through his teeth, he catches my wrist. “Slow down, tesoro , or I won’t last.”

I’m vaguely aware that gallons of water will be wasted when I lift onto my knees. We’ll have to drain the Jacuzzi after what we’re about to do. However, as soon as his velvet-soft crest touches my folds, I’m beyond caring.

Impatient now, I glide down, taking him inside me.

Saverio utters a curse.

I’m slick enough to accommodate him easily. When he’s fully sheathed, I keep still, simply enjoying the fullness for a moment.

He lowers his head to suck a nipple into his mouth. The heat of his tongue on my sensitive flesh makes my inner muscles contract around him.

He closes his fingers around my breast, plumping the curve in his grip before giving the tip a gentle nip. Then he sucks it deep. My back arches with pleasure. My nipple puckers in his mouth, the skin around it contracting.

He flicks his tongue over the hard point before releasing my breast. “You taste so fucking good.”

I lift onto my knees and move down again, teasing him with a shallow thrust.

“Goddamn,” he bites out. “You’re tight. Hot.”

I set a slow pace, tracing the contours of his broad, chiseled torso with my palms and worshipping each of his scars, those marks he earned for saving my life. I look at his face while I sweep a hand around his ribs and up his back to caress the bumpy skin where the burn wounds healed above his shoulder, seeing the need and want in his gaze as he watches me like a starving predator.

Needing more contact, I let my nipples brush over his chest as I slowly rise and sink back onto my knees. I’m so sensitive that every ripple inside makes me shiver. I savor every sensation—how much he stretches me and how deep he goes. I’m reluctant to end it, so I still.

“Fuck, woman,” Saverio says with a growl, fisting my hair. “You’re killing me.”

The sting where his fingers tangle in my roots only makes me burn hotter. He pulls my head to the side with the rough impatience of a man on the verge of losing control. The kisses he trails along my jaw are soft. His stubble leaves an abrasive path that makes me want to beg for more. Latching onto the soft skin of my throat, he nips and kisses that sensitive spot. It’s going to leave a hickey, but I don’t care. I moan again, tilting my head back to give him better access.

He lets go of my hair to lock his hands around my waist. Knowing what’s to come, that he’s going to set a hard pace, I grip his shoulders for balance. Only, he doesn’t bounce me on his lap as I expected. I utter a shriek as he lifts me off him and spins me around in the same movement before plastering my body to the wall with my back against his chest.

At this angle, the nozzles direct jets of water at my breasts. The flow is so strong I feel it all the way to my core. Worse, there’s one right between my legs.

“Sav,” I cry out when he slips his hands around my front and pries my folds open to expose my clit.

He shifts me a little to the left and one inch down. There. My body jerks as the jet hits me straight at the apex of my sex, the water blast so powerful that my muscles spasm. Instinctively, I try to escape, but he pins me to the side with his weight, making me take the full onslaught of the force.

I come even before I have time to process it, the pleasure so instantaneous, intense, and unexpected that my whole body bows. He pushes into me from behind while I’m locked in that vise of pleasure, impaling me with a single thrust as my orgasm ripples out into aftershocks and the pleasure already starts building again. The pressure of the water is so powerful it wrests another climax from my body not even five seconds after I came.

Now that he’s found the right spot, Saverio pulls his hands from the front of my body and wraps his fingers around my wrists where I’m clenching the sides and holding on for my life. The absence of his arms around my front forces me flat against the side. I take those blasts of water with no distance to soften the blow. He pumps into me as I come again.

“Hold on, tesoro ,” he whispers in my ear, kissing the lobe before biting down gently.

My inner muscles clench around him. My breasts and clit are assaulted by those unrelenting spurts of water, and despite being oversensitive, I come again.

So does he. His body goes taut against mine. He punches his hips up, burying himself as deep as he can. Warmth bathes me inside. It’s different than the water, slicker.

And I come again.

I don’t know how many times I convulsively climax under the onslaught of the jets as he traps me against them with his body. I’m caught between the jets and the wall of his chest, impaled on his cock. There’s no escaping the continuous orgasms that roll from aftershocks into another climax and into aftershocks again. I’m a convulsing mass of one long, never-ending orgasm, wrecked by the cruel stimulation and forced to bear the relentless pleasure, but he’s come at least twice himself before his weight finally lifts off me.

If he didn’t catch me in his arms, I’m sure I would’ve drowned.

“What do you do to me?” he groans, kissing my neck.

His question is tormented. He sounds like a conflicted man begging me for answers. For understanding.

Leaning my head back against his chest, I say, “Nothing you don’t do to me too.”

“No, tesoro .” He drags his lips along my jaw before nuzzling my temple. “I only get hard for you.” His voice is deep and raspy. “What kind of spell is this? What kind of magic?”

“The simplest kind.”

“Yeah?” He cups a breast in one hand and my pussy in the other, brushing his thumbs over my nipple and my clit in leisurely strokes. “Tell me.”

I shiver from his soft touch. “We’re exclusive, remember? When you love someone, you don’t want anyone else to touch you. More than that, you detest another’s touch.”

Wrong thing to say. I can almost feel the ambience shatter. He stills with his hand between my legs and the other on my breast. It’s not what he wants to hear, but in our case, it’s the truth.

Gently, he untangles himself from me, putting distance between us. My entire being protests at the loss of our contact. I came so many times I’m sore inside, my muscles overworked and pushed to the limits of their endurance, yet I feel empty, as if each climax was meaningless. In the warmth of the water, my body goes cold.

Afraid of what I’ll see, I turn around. He’s schooled his features into an unreadable mask, scrubbing his palms over his face and wiping away any traces of emotion that may have lingered with the drops of water that cling to his skin. He’s just been inside me as deep as he could be, yet he’s already miles away from here. From me.

My voice threatens to crack, betraying me. “Saverio.”

His smile is thin. Mechanical. Impersonal. “Do you want to stay in longer?”

Afraid I’ll cry if I speak, I shake my head. The water is no longer soothing or relaxing. All that’s left is a big hole in my heart, a dark space that’s hopeless, cold, and lonely. I can’t meet his gaze. I’m too afraid I’ll humiliate myself if I can’t contain my tears. I don’t want him to see my vulnerability. I’m frightened that I might have been wrong, that I’m being that woman who makes excuses for her man. I’m terrified that it’s quite straightforward, that in reality, he simply doesn’t love me.

“Stay,” he says, climbing with a pronounced limp up the steps.

I stay like he ordered, wishing the bottom will open up and swallow me in a grave of bubbles. It’s too late for pride. I’m already humiliated, my self-preservation thoroughly thrashed.

He stands stark naked on the side dripping water all over the deck as he dangles a fluffy robe over the edge. “Here.”

With his cock hanging semi-hard and heavy between his legs in a nest of dark, curly hair, he’s a magnificent male specimen.

I’m reluctant to leave my hiding place in the water. I’ve been a fool to spoil a perfectly beautiful day, the best birthday anyone has given me. Maybe I should just dunk my head under the water and not come up until he’s gone. But he can’t stand without his cane for long, and my skin is already wrinkled from being in the water for almost an hour.

Taking a steadying breath, I lift my chin and stand up in the water, pretending I’m Venus rising from giant scallop shell.

You vowed to love enough for two, remember?

And I’ll be damned before I waste what’s left of the time we have away from the house.

“Thanks,” I say, climbing up the steps and reaching for the robe, but he holds it out of my reach.

“Turn around,” he commands in a gruff tone.

When I’ve obeyed, he helps me to fit the robe. Then he makes me face him with his hands on my shoulders and meticulously ties the knot around my waist. I sense his intention before he lowers his head to claim my lips, but that moment has passed. If he’s not going to kiss me with openness and honesty, I don’t want his kiss. I don’t want a consolation hug because he knows he’s hurt me.

I turn my face away, forcing him to freeze in mid-air. He clenches his jaw but refrains from saying anything. I head for the chairs, choosing the one with the best view, and stretch out on it.

A moment later, his uneven gait sounds on the wooden deck. He stops next to my chair, waiting until I look at him before he gives me a glass of juice.

“You need to hydrate after the Jacuzzi and—” He cuts himself off, not saying the marathon sex he submitted me to. Instead, he settles for a stiff, “And after all that.”

I smile up at him. Like his, the gesture is mechanical. “Thanks.”

And I hate it. I loathe that we’re reduced to this role play, to people who have to pretend and hide our emotions around one another. For a while, I thought we had something. Maybe it’s time to admit I was wrong. I guess I’m on my own. Even when I was with him, I’ve been alone right from the start. He made that crystal clear. He didn’t deceive me with false intentions or lies. He never gave me hope. My stupid heart managed that all by itself. But if there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s at surviving alone. I know how to do that better than anything in life, and I can do it without being miserable. I refuse to make myself unhappy just because Saverio is incapable of returning my feelings. It’s not his fault. It’s not mine either. It’s just the way it is. I’ll cope like I always do. I’ll carry on surviving and find joy in my daughter. I’ll give Claire the life she deserves, the life I never had with my mother, and that will be enough.

When Saverio has lowered himself onto the chair next to mine, I take a sip of the fruit cocktail, refusing to feel guilty that he had to pour and carry the juice to me while balancing his steps with the cane.

I try to tap into that earlier feeling of total relaxation, fixing my gaze on the magnificent view.

We lounge together in a strained silence until I admit defeat and give up on finding peace.

I finish my juice and get up. “I’m going to have a shower before Claire wakes up.”

Needing space and time alone, I don’t invite him to join me. He follows my exit with his gaze, not saying a word as I escape to the master bedroom upstairs where I finally give in and cry.