Twenty-three

TWENTY-THREE

Aria

"It's official. I'm never leaving."

At my declaration, Paxton's hand squeezed mine, and he looked curiously at me. "Never leaving? As in, never leaving here?"

Without him specifying his definition of here, I couldn't say for sure.

It was Thursday, just shy of two weeks since Paxton and I had shared our first kiss and ultimately made things official between us. It was also the first day since then that I was completely off from both jobs.

While I hadn't been working all day, every day since Paxton and I took this step in our relationship, I had worked at least at the deli or at the pub each day. There were a couple of those days when I worked double shifts, going from one job to the next, but those were spaced out and had given me a bit of a reprieve.

Once Paxton learned that I had the entire day off today, he decided to take a day off from work as well, so we could spend it together. I wasn't exactly surprised by that, either. Because Paxton had been doing things to show me how much he cared right from the very start before things changed from friendly to romantic between us. Now that we were romantically involved, I was seeing more highlights of the trait Paxton had already possessed.

And just because he'd taken time off from work to spend the day with me today didn't mean that we hadn't spent time with each other over the last two weeks.

We had.

In fact, we'd spent a significant amount of time together, especially on the days when I didn't have to work at the pub.

Those were the best days, because I was typically home from the deli before Paxton returned from Harper Security Ops. I'd find a way to be outside when he got home—either grabbing the mail, working on something outside the house, or sitting out with a drink in my hand.

On those days, Paxton would always walk over to me, kiss me, and discuss a plan for spending the evening together. We often had dinner together, and we didn't separate afterward. I'd spent a handful of nights at Paxton's place with Sasha in tow—fortunately, the meet and greet between the pets had gone well—and Paxton had spent another night at my place.

The last two weeks had been nothing short of magical, and today was no exception. That was precisely the reason I'd made the statement I had about never leaving here.

Wanting to clarify what I meant, I said, "Well, I guess if you're talking about this specific place, I can't say it's a bad idea. I don't think I've ever had this much fun at a fall festival ever."

"I had a feeling you were going to enjoy yourself," he returned proudly, puffing up his chest with pride. He was the one who'd suggested we spend the day at the Steel Ridge Fall Festival today, and it was safe to say he'd made a great choice.

Grinning from ear to ear as we stood together holding hands, I leaned my body into his side. "There's been so much good stuff to see and do and eat here, and I don't think we've covered it all yet. But now that we've seen this, I wouldn't be upset if we didn't see another thing."

"This is easily my favorite part of the festival."

"Why don't you bring your dogs and do it with them?"

Paxton shot me a look of disbelief. "You're joking, right? Brutus could never handle this. He'd be wild. Patty would want to become friends with everyone here, and Tiny would find a way to coax people into sharing their food with him."

"Aw, I think it would be fun," I said.

Throughout our day at the festival, there had been plenty for Paxton and me to enjoy together. We'd had more food than was reasonable, did a corn maze, went on a hayride, done some pumpkin picking, and had played a few games that had been set up.

But there was nothing better than watching what we were watching now—the pet costume parade. Though there were a few other types of animals—the occasional goat, pig, or pony—the dogs made up the majority. And it was the best thing I'd ever seen. It was the season for dressing up in costumes, and at the Steel Ridge festival, that meant dressing up your pets. Of course, despite the many adorable or funny costumes I'd seen, I thought Brutus, Patty, and Tiny would have stolen the show if they'd been here.

Paxton shrugged. "Maybe, if you promise to come with me next year, we can dress them up and try to tackle this together."

My heart raced, and my belly flipped. It was statements like that which made it possible for me to make my original declaration that had nothing to do with this particular festival. Paxton didn't seem the least bit concerned about planning to attend this with me next year, like he believed we'd still be together then.

God, I hoped he was right, because there was nothing I wanted more. After everything I'd experienced, largely thanks to him, since moving to Steel Ridge, I couldn't imagine anything better than to still have Paxton in my life a year from now, the way I had him now.

That's what would make it all worth it.

After all I'd been through, after all I'd been forced to give up, I'd go through it again just to have him.

Smiling at him, tipping my chin down slightly, I said, "I'd love to be here with you next year."

Ever the astute observer, Paxton didn't hesitate to share what was on his mind. "I get the feeling, based on the way you answered, that you hadn't been referring to the festival when you said you were never leaving. Care to explain what you were talking about?"

"Right. Well, as much as I have enjoyed coming here today, I was actually referring to Steel Ridge as a whole," I shared.

Paxton's brows shot up in surprise, a smile playing at his lips. "Is this… are you making this move official? "

"I think so."

He studied me for a long time, his eyes dancing. Then, with a slight tug on my hand, he jerked his head to the side and said, "Let's go get some ice cream."

Once Paxton and I had gotten ourselves some cones, we sat down on a bench away from the chaos of the festival. And as I sat there beside him, watching everything happening around us for a few moments before turning my attention to him, my decision was solidified. "Thank you," I whispered.

"It's good, right?"

He was referring to the ice cream. "The ice cream is delicious, but I wasn't thanking you for that. Although, I do appreciate it."

"Why are you thanking me?"

In what would have been a shocking twist in any other scenario, but not while I was here with Paxton, tears filled my eyes. I could be vulnerable with Paxton, and he'd never exploit that.

When I swallowed past the tightness in my throat, I rasped, "You've made it possible for me to want to dream again."

"What?"

I took another lick of my ice cream before it had the chance to melt down over the sides of the cone. "For the last year of my life in Birch Creek, I felt so beaten down and broken by things that happened. Regret consumed me for a very long time, and it still does if I allow myself to think about it. When things happened back then, I gave up my dreams I'd had my whole life, because what happened had crushed me."

Pausing for a moment to take another lick of the ice cream, I turned my attention to Paxton and saw the concern in his stare. As worried as he was, there was something encouraging lingering there.

It was that look in his eyes which made it easy to smile and continue. "From the moment I made the move here, I've felt revived. I'd been telling myself I needed this fresh start, but I hadn't expected it would do for me what it has. I know I've lost parts of myself that I'll never get back, but when I look on the bright side now, I'm getting new parts." I let out a laugh and ate more ice cream. "That I'm sitting here telling you this is proof of those new parts. I feel safe to be myself with you. I don't feel this need to hold back whatever is on my mind, because I don't need to be the strong one when I'm with you."

Still holding his cone in his opposite hand, Paxton reached out with the other hand and curled his fingers around the back of my neck. He offered a reassuring squeeze before his thumb stroked along the skin there. "I want to feel happy about this news, but there's a part of me that is concerned. I don't like knowing that you've given up dreams, Aria. What dreams?"

I couldn't tell him.

Even if I thought I could share the truth with him about wanting to be an artist, there was no reasonable explanation I could come up with that would rationalize my decision to give it up without needing to tell him the full truth.

What would he think of me, then? A man as good as he was might not ever be able to look at me the same.

I hated that.

I hated that I couldn't tell him the truth, but I didn't want to risk losing him. He was the best thing that had ever happened to me.

And considering I'd already lost my family, I couldn't bear the thought of losing him, too.

It would devastate me.

I didn't have a single doubt that would be the case, because to this day, I had moments where I missed my family. They'd done wrong by me, and I still had love for them. Sure, I recognized I needed to love them from afar, but it didn't change the reality.

Paxton hadn't done anything wrong to me. He'd been nothing but wonderful. So, if I didn't have him any longer, I knew I wouldn't survive it.

Shaking my head, refusing to consider that as a real possibility, I said, "My old dreams don't matter anymore, Paxton. It hurts to think about them. And honestly, I'm looking forward to having new dreams. Ones that result in me being here with you a year from now with your dogs dressed up in costumes."

Though there was a hint of disappointment there, Paxton accepted my response with a smile. He gave my neck another squeeze. "I hope the day comes when you can talk to me about those dreams and not feel sad about them. We'll make new ones for you. And who knows? Maybe one day, you'll get those other ones back."

Never.

I'd never do it again.

Painting would just bring back too many painful memories.

Memories of the lies and betrayal. Memories of the family I no longer had.

"It's a lovely thought, but that's not going to happen," I insisted. "What I will say is that I want to live in this happiness I feel now. Coming to Steel Ridge has been so good for me. I have these new friends I've made since moving here, and best of all, I've got you. I can't be more thankful than I am that you were the first person I met when I got here."

Paxton's hand left my neck, moved to my opposite shoulder, and curled me slightly into his body. "You have no idea how happy I am that it was the house next door to mine that you moved into, Aria."

I rested my head on his shoulder, felt the warmth move through me, and breathed a sigh of relief. Having gotten close to the end of my cone, I held it up and asked, "Do you want the rest?"

"There's only a bite or two left. You can't do it?"

Keeping my head on his shoulder, I slid it back a touch and tilted it to angle my gaze in his direction. "There's no ice cream left in the bottom. I can't eat it without it."

Paxton's body vibrated with his laughter. Then he leaned forward and took the cone out of my hand in just one bite.

We sat there on the bench for a little while longer. And as we did that, I let my newest dream wash over me.

I'd only intended to escape my past and have a fresh start when I came to Steel Ridge. Paxton showed me there was a reason to aim for a brighter future. As long as he was by my side, I was certain I was going to get it.

"This is the best news, Brit. I can't wait."

My best friend's laughter came through the line. "I know. Me, too. But if I want to be sure they don't rescind that approval for my time off, I better get back to work. I'll call you later tonight or sometime tomorrow, and we'll work out the details for my trip."

Nothing could have wiped the smile from my face. "Sounds great. I'm so excited. I'll talk to you later."

Britney had finally secured a few days off from work, so she could come to Steel Ridge for a visit. Though she could have easily driven the two hours and visited for a long weekend much sooner, she wanted to have an extended stay. So, she was going to be coming out to see me in just three more weeks. I was beyond excited to see her.

Britney and I said goodbye and disconnected our call as I stepped out into my garage. It was late Monday afternoon, and I had gotten home from working at the deli just a little while ago. I had worked at both the deli and the pub on Friday, as well as a shift at the pub each night on Saturday and Sunday.

Today was the first day I had my evening free since my full day off with Paxton days ago, and I wanted to take advantage of it. Plus, the gorgeous fall weather made me want to be outside.

So, I set my phone down on one of the shelves in the garage as I tapped on the button to open the door. Sasha had followed me outside, winding her way through my legs and around my ankles as I attempted to unpack more containers.

I'd gotten through one, which had been most of my winter clothing. I'd set it in a pile on top of a shelf to carry inside to the laundry room when I finished in the garage, and Sasha decided that was going to be her spot to supervise the remainder of my unpacking.

I moved to the next container, popped off the lid, and realized I'd made a mistake as a pang of sadness washed over me. I'd opened this container before but had forgotten to label it the last time as one to never open again, because Paxton had arrived in the midst of it.

My paintings were sitting right on top, staring up at me. In an instant, I was tossed right back to that time just over a year ago, when I walked into my dad's store and learned the truth about what was happening with my paintings.

They were just a means to an end.

Why did those words still hurt so badly?

I knew why. It was the very thing I'd spent some time talking to Paxton about days ago. Parts of our conversation that afternoon had been weighing on my mind heavily since.

I should have immediately covered the container again and moved onto the next.

I didn't.

Instead, I lifted a painting from the container and stood, recalling the day I'd put these colors on this canvas, and feeling utterly torn. There was a part of me that wished I'd never walked into my dad's store that day, that I'd remained oblivious to what was really going on. If that had happened, I'd still have my family. I'd still be living my dream.

But there was this other part of me that was glad things had happened the way they did. It was devastating to have lost my family—I wasn't sure I'd ever get over that. But I couldn't dispute how good things were for me now, how much my life had improved. If things hadn't gone down the way they had, I never would have met Paxton and been the happiest I'd ever been in my whole life.

I set the painting down and picked up another one, my heart bleeding at the sight of it. I'd stared at it for about ten or fifteen seconds before I lost it completely. Walking out into this garage and mistakenly opening this container couldn't happen again. With tears welling in my eyes and spilling down my cheeks, I began pulling out all the paintings.

I'd moved here for a fresh start; it was time I gave it to myself.

The paintings had to go.

They had to be destroyed, just like my past.

It hurt too much to look at them. They reminded me of just how much of a fraud I was, how foolish I'd been.

By the time I'd gotten halfway through the container, it was safe to say I was focused on my mission. But that wasn't necessarily a good thing.

I was so caught up in my emotions, in carrying out my task, that I didn't take notice of anything else around me.

When Sasha had gone on alert and attempted to warn me, I missed it completely. It was only when a big body came up behind me and a gloved hand clamped over my mouth that I froze.

And barely a moment later, a picture was waved in front of my face.

My family.

My parents and my sister, bound and gagged, inside our family home .

"Not a word. Not a sound. You do exactly as I say, or they're dead."

The tears fell uncontrollably.

"Do you understand?"

With no way to speak, my only option was to nod.

"Good. You're coming with us."

Us? There was someone else?

I was spun around on the spot, and that's when my eyes landed on Ronnie.

Oh God.

Oh no.

Everything was beginning to fall into place. Ronnie hadn't been some random guy that showed up at the pub and decided to follow me home. He was connected to this mess my father had gotten me into. They'd found me.

A wave of nausea washed over me, and it was only by some miracle I didn't get sick. But I wondered if that might have been better and bought me some additional time. Because the next thing I knew, I was being ushered forward out of the garage and toward a car.

And the only thing I could think about as I took those slow steps forward was Paxton. I took one last look toward his house and allowed the devastation to seep in.

If I didn't die as a result of where this situation led, there was no question I'd lose Paxton when he learned the truth about who he'd gotten himself involved with.

Then I'd have to move all over again.