Nine

NINE

Aria

I was still in my bed when my phone rang the next morning.

Admittedly, I had expected the call to come through, because I'd sent off a text not more than a minute ago to my best friend asking her to give me a call if she was awake.

"You're up," I greeted her.

I couldn't quite tell if it was fear or excitement I heard in Britney's tone when she replied, "What's going on?"

"Oh, nothing. I just thought a conversation with my best friend was warranted this morning."

Some rustling came through the line, indicating that Britney, like me, was still in her bed. "And what could possibly be happening that necessitated this call?"

"I have a date."

She gasped. "What?"

Rolling to my side, I explained, "Okay, it's not technically a date like that. But I'm going to be having breakfast and spending the morning and afternoon with my very hot, very handsome neighbor, because he wants to show me around town."

"You're joking!"

I laughed. "I assure you, this is not a joke."

"Tell me more," she demanded. "And don't leave out a single detail."

So, that's what I did.

I told Britney all about my interactions with Paxton from the moment I'd arrived in Steel Ridge and moved into my new place. I didn't hesitate to reveal my favorite things I'd learned about him so far—namely his compassion for people and empathy for helpless animals. Of course, I also mentioned how much I liked the way he looked and how much Sasha enjoyed being in his lap. I told Britney how Paxton had been the reason I wound up having two different places to go and apply for jobs. And finally, I revealed how I wound up in this position to be spending the morning and afternoon with him today.

When I finished, I was met with silence. I didn't doubt Britney was attempting to digest all the information I'd just given her, and I gave her some time to do it, but when too much time passed without a response from her, I called her name. "Brit?"

"Yeah, I'm here. I'm just… Are you telling me that nearly all of this has happened in the last few days?"

"Yep."

"How do you sound so calm and collected? I mean, I know you've always been the kind of person who can hold in their emotions, but even this is a little bit extreme."

"Why do you think I'm up so early reaching out to you? I'm freaking out like crazy on the inside," I confessed.

Britney inhaled deeply before she said, "First of all, it's going to be fine. You said it yourself, this is just a friendly thing. Your neighbor, despite being deliciously handsome, is going to be spending the day with you to show you around your new hometown. What's there to be worried about?"

"Um, well, first, he's deliciously handsome, and even though I managed to keep myself from panicking when I shared all of this with you, I'm not that way with him," I shared.

"What does that mean?"

I thought back to how I felt yesterday morning and squeezed my eyes shut. Was I going to be able to get through the day with him today?

"He makes me feel giddy, and I can't control myself. Like, I start to feel all warm inside when he looks at me a certain way, and he makes my belly do this weird flip whenever we make eye contact. I get a bit tongue-tied around him, too. I'll know what I want to say, but it feels like I might wind up sharing more than I should if I don't stop myself."

"Why would you want to do that?"

I narrowed my eyes and considered how to answer that question.

Why did I want to do that?

I needed a fresh start.

I'd made that declaration for the first time when I was living two and a half hours away from Steel Ridge. My reason for saying it then was because I couldn't continue living the way I'd been living, knowing how what I was doing each day was eating me up inside. And that was just part of it. That didn't include the lies I'd been fed for years or the snide comments from my mom and sister once I'd made my decision to go.

Based on how things had turned out for me from the moment I took action to get that fresh start, I didn't doubt I needed to do the same thing now.

Or, maybe it wasn't so much about needing a fresh start as it was about needing to remind myself what I was doing here in Steel Ridge.

I was supposed to be building a new life. And there was more to that than simply changing the place that I lived.

Did I deserve to have it all?

This wasn't simply about moving and leaving my old life behind—despite how big a part of that this was. It was about having something now that left me feeling fulfilled, that made my life worth living.

I'd already gotten some glimpses of what I stood to gain if I could embrace all that was happening. Britney would always be my closest and dearest friend, but that didn't mean I couldn't forge lasting, meaningful friendships here in Steel Ridge, too. I was confident, based on what I'd already seen from them, that I'd get some of that with my coworkers.

Could I have more than that? Could this new life be even better than I imagined?

"I don't know why I would want to do that, Brit. I guess I don't really have a good answer," I admitted.

"Because there is no good reason to stop yourself," she confirmed. "You should go out with this guy today, and you shouldn't worry about holding yourself back. If it's just two neighbors being out and about in town for a fun afternoon, great. If it turns to more than that, even better. But you didn't move away from here only to wind up not living. Don't become a crazy cat lady."

Laughter spilled out of me. The feeling I had experienced around Paxton yesterday morning had been unlike anything I'd ever felt before, and I wasn't quite sure how to handle it.

"Are you saying I should just lean into that feeling? I'm pretty sure I'm going to humiliate myself if I do," I advised her.

"You won't humiliate yourself," she assured me.

"He was flirting with me. I don't think I know how to flirt."

"You know how to flirt."

"I'm serious."

"So am I! You just told me you teased him about this morning being a date and how he responded positively to that. If you do things like that, you're going to be fine. Just be yourself, don't think too much about anything, and say whatever is on your mind. Most of all, Aria, just have a good time. After everything you've been through these last few years, you deserve to have at least that much."

My heart squeezed in my chest.

Britney wasn't wrong about that. It was the reason I'd called her. Because I knew that despite whatever my head was telling me about all this stuff with Paxton, my heart yearned for something more. Maybe I needed her to give me that confirmation, to let me know that it was okay to want to find happiness when a huge part of my life was left behind.

"You're the best, Brit, you know that? "

"I am pretty spectacular. It kind of makes you wonder why nobody has scooped me up just yet," she teased.

There was no lie to be found in that statement. It was a surprise nobody had scooped Britney up by now.

But they should have. And when the time came, I didn't doubt that man would be beyond lucky to have her.

Britney and I talked for a little while longer, but I ultimately told her I needed to go, so I could get myself ready to leave for breakfast with Paxton this morning. She happily disconnected with me only after I promised to call tomorrow and fill her in on everything.

No sooner did we end the call, I tossed the blanket from my body, sat up, and swung my legs over the edge of the bed. But before I could even stand, my phone rang again. I smiled and shook my head, knowing that Britney likely had one more thing she needed to tell me.

Without even looking at the display, I answered the call. "What did you forget?" I asked.

"Aria?"

The second I heard my father's voice on the other end of the line, my body tensed.

It had been months since I'd spoken to him. The last time was right before I left, right after I dropped Sasha off at Britney's house. I'd called him when I was leaving that day to let him know I was on my way out of town. We didn't have a long conversation, because there really was nothing left to say. I'd already told him, my mom, and my sister everything I needed to say. My call to him that day was the final courtesy I paid to him.

When I said nothing, my dad's voice filled the silence. "Aria, where are you?"

"I moved," I told him .

"But where? You need to come home."

"I'm not coming back. I told you."

"We need you here. We can't do this without you. We're going to lose everything, more than you could ever imagine."

I closed my eyes and shook my head, feeling so much disappointment. I couldn't believe this was what our lives had become. I couldn't believe my dad had taken things as far as he had.

"I'm sorry, Dad, but I can't."

"You have to. Are you okay with us being left with nothing?"

I hated how he always tried to make me feel like it was my responsibility to fix this mess. Years ago, when my mom had gotten the cancer diagnosis, there wasn't anything I wouldn't do to make sure we got through it. And I did everything I could.

I understood the desperation my dad felt then. It was such a scary time for all of us. In the heat of the moment, I could understand why he'd done what he'd done, even if I didn't agree with it.

But after Mom made it through, after I'd learned the truth, he didn't stop.

"It's not me that's okay with it, Dad. It's you. And it's Mom. And Jazzy. What's stopping all of you from working, from making an honest living?"

"It's not easy. You know what your mother's been through."

"Yeah, I do. I also know that even if you believe she shouldn't work, you're still capable. And Jasmine needs to grow up and stop depending on everyone else to take care of her. I'm not doing it anymore. "

"But you left just like that," he argued.

White-hot rage moved through me. He knew that was a lie. "Are you kidding me? I didn't just leave. I continued to do something I hated, something I despised, for an entire year to give you the time to get out. You chose to not take me seriously. That's not my fault."

He let out a frustrated sigh. "I told you that wasn't possible."

"And I was pulled into something I didn't have a choice in," I noted. "I don't know what you want from me."

"Just tell me where you are," he begged. "Please, tell me. I'll come there, and we can talk about all of this."

"It's not happening."

"Aria, I don't think you understand how serious this is. I tried to buy some time. I told them you took an unexpected trip, but I can't hold this off much longer. You have to come home."

I sat there in silence, wondering how a father could ever ask his daughter to do what mine was asking of me. It was heartbreaking.

Unsure of where it came from, I blurted, "Have you told Mom the truth? Does Jasmine know what you did?"

"No."

"Maybe you should talk to them. Maybe since Jazzy is so upset that I took off, she'll be willing to do something for you. I'm done with this, and I'm not coming back there ever again."

I didn't know where this level of strength was coming from. I'd never spoken to my father like this before. Part of me hated it—we'd been so close for so long. Despair had turned him into a man I didn't recognize, and it led me to doing things I never would have agreed to under normal circumstances.

More and more, it was clear just how necessary it had been for me to move myself here to Steel Ridge. I'd been estranged from my family for two months, and I was already at a point where I felt I could stand up and say exactly how I felt.

Sure, I'd made the decision a year ago that I wouldn't stick around longer than that, but even then, there had been a part of me that wondered if I'd follow through.

This felt like progress to me. Maybe I really had gotten more of a fresh start than I had imagined I would.

"I can't tell them, Aria."

"Why not? I know the truth. Why is it okay for me to know and not them?"

"You were never supposed to know," he reasoned. "But even if you do know, they can't. They can't ever know. You know how they are. This would make them panic more than they already do."

"Based on what I heard the day I learned the truth, I think it might be wise for them to know. It didn't hit me until just now, but if things are this serious, it's probably for the best. They might be dramatic on most occasions, but at least this would be one that warrants that reaction."

"Aria, this isn't funny. It's not a game."

With every word he spoke, I was growing more and more frustrated. How had things gotten this bad? My dad was the guy I used to be able to rely on to look after me. Now, I didn't trust him.

"Do you think I don't know that? I had to pack up my entire life and move just to get out of the mess you created," I reminded him .

"We're your family. You can't just walk away from us forever. Unless you don't care. Unless we don't matter to you."

Anger turned to hurt. Just like that, my heart broke into a million pieces. After everything I'd done, my father had the audacity to throw out wild claims like that. "How dare you say that?" I rasped. "I did everything I could for my family, and when I learned the truth about what you did and kept it a secret, you didn't do anything to protect me from what came at me. I'm done. I'm done with this conversation, and I'm done with you."

"Aria, wait?—"

I disconnected the call and stared at the floor. My phone rang again in my hand. I turned it off.

Then I took several deep breaths as I attempted to blink back the tears. I had to bury these emotions, but they continued to bubble to the surface.

How was I ever going to make it through breakfast with Paxton?

On that thought, I noted the time, got out of bed, and got myself ready. Then I made Sasha some breakfast just in time for the doorbell to ring.

And in the most bizarre twist of events that I'd ever experienced in my life, I opened the front door to Paxton, saw his handsome face, and reached out to hug him.

I didn't care how confident Britney was that I wouldn't make a fool of myself.

She was wrong.