10. Carter

TEN

It was the usual rapport.I lied my ass off into the phone, fearing what Dad would say if he knew I had quit the Titans three weeks ago. Lying was becoming too easy, but part of it was Dad's fault. He wasn't listening. Not really. I was weaving the same old story about drills and games, rehashing the things Ron had told me over the weeks.

I kept seeing my friend several times per week. He would tell me what the team was up to, share anecdotes from the team house, and enrich the fake stories I told Dad.

If he were listening to me, Dad would have noticed that I was repeating some details by accident, but he didn't care about any of that.

"And Nate's happy with you?" he asked gruffly.

I swallowed a chuckle. "I think so. He's not unhappy."

In these turbulent weeks, Nate had been the only real constant in my life. He never walked back on his word after the time he'd tried lecturing me, and I felt his respect whenever we were together. That was often, but not nearly often enough for my appetite. I wanted to be near him all the time. It wasn't enough to see him a few times a week or to have him accompany me to a live gig and hide in the shadows. That happened once because the gigs were harder to find than I'd hoped. Still, I was trying my best.

What my father didn't know was that I had moved out of the team house two weeks ago. I'd found a small room in a shared apartment three blocks away from campus, where four music students lived and practiced. The place was a little shabby, but that only meant I could afford it without raising alarms. Dad could see my bank account if he bothered to, but he luckily forgot all about me as soon as things weren't about hockey.

"We're proud of you, Carter," Dad said in the end. It was never "I love you," but "We are proud of you." And that pride depended on the lies I spun. It would be short-lived if he knew about the Titans.

Last weekend, something surprising had happened. I was on my way to surprise Nate when I passed the city rink. Some kind of longing unfolded in me so instantly that it caught me off guard. I missed the ice. I missed it until the next heartbeat when I remembered that the ice was all my father cared about.

I might still have loved it had he not made the entire idea of hockey a condition of his love and support.

Nate could see I was upset even when I tried to be casual. He kept asking until I told him, and then he hugged me in silence for what felt like a sweet eternity.

As I hung up, I drifted back into that hug in my mind. He didn't know the extent to which he had improved my life. Cheering me on all the time, kissing me when I finished practicing, and even leaving the apartment twice to let me use the piano in case I wanted privacy — he acted like he had an important errand, but he would return an hour later with chocolate for me — were only a few things he did in such a short time to cement my adoration.

Tonight, Nate picked me up two streets away from my new place. He couldn't see me last night because he had made arrangements with Beckett, but I was patient. I could always wait until tomorrow. I had waited for him even when he'd been nothing more than a fantasy.

"Hey, baby," he greeted me in his deep purr when I dropped into the passenger seat of his car. "How are you?"

"Better now that I'm here," I said right away. At a questioning look from him, I explained that Dad had called. "He has no clue yet," I said, then reluctantly added, "It's kind of sad."

Nate let his silence last a little while. "I'm sorry, Carter."

"Not your fault," I said curtly. I was simply cursed with uncaring parents. "Does he ever call you?"

Nate shook his head.

"Did something happen between you?" I asked. It was a random thought, but it struck me as odd that they never spoke.

Nate rolled his shoulders. "We drifted apart a few years ago. He retired, and I kept playing, so we weren't around each other as much. It happens in life."

He wasn't telling me everything. What could have gone down to cool their relationship so much? They spoke of each other with respect, but they didn't speak to each other. That wasn't entirely true, either, but it was especially noticeable now that Nate was supposedly my coach. I tried to form the right question to ask, but then something distracted me. "Where are we going?"

Nate chuckled. "It took you long enough."

"This isn't the way to your place," I pointed out, confusion swirling around my head.

"You are correct, baby," Nate said, mock patronizing me. It earned him a pout and a glare, especially because he was wearing a pleased smile instead of answering my questions. He drove us in the opposite direction of his building, toward the outskirts of the city.

"Alright," I muttered. "Keep your secrets."

"You keep surprising me," he said. It was true. I visited him unannounced a few times already, and he was always happy. I could expect the same from him.

What I expected to be a quick ride to his apartment turned into forty-five minutes of Pink Floyd pouring from the speakers. I didn't complain about the duration or his music choice, but it was messing with my plans for the evening. The thing was, I had been naughty this evening, and Nate had no idea.

His reluctance to take our bedroom fun to the next level was admirable, of course, except that it was driving me nuts. He was the sexiest man on the planet, and yet he kept postponing it as if I were a virgin who had no idea what sex was.

The other night, I'd told him so, and he just laughed it off. "Where's the hurry?" he had asked.

It was hard to explain, but a sense of urgency was filling me more and more as time went by.

When we arrived at our mysterious destination, it only turned me on harder. And the fact that I had been naughty earlier made me more desperate for something serious. Positioned on the narrow path that directly looked over the endless body of water I identified as Lake Huron, the small Eagleton Bed and Breakfast house was the stuff dreams were made of. It was easily as charming as any vacation home I had ever seen, with pots overflowing with flowers and deep yellow lights pouring from the windows. The house was a quaint fantasy of small-town appeal with a little front yard dotted with bushes and decorated with healthy flowerbeds.

Nate got out of the car and paused by the short wooden stairs. He waited for me to join him. He didn't know what made me squirm after spending an hour sitting here and simmering with desire, but he didn't seem to mind waiting for me. As I slowly got out of the car, a mixture of pain and pleasure spread through my lower abdomen.

"What did you do?" I whispered, but it was impossible to keep the awe out of my voice.

Nate shrugged. "We never go out together," he said as if it explained everything, then bent his arm for me to take.

It was true. We couldn't be seen together in public. The performance he attended was an exception, and he wore a baseball cap and dark shades to hide his face while watching me perform on the stage. We couldn't have dinner in a restaurant or drinks at a bar without people noticing him. And that would be a disaster for many reasons, least of which was the fact that Nate had never come out of the closet.

I didn't mind. My guiding principle was to give him all the time he needed. The fact that we had gotten together at all was enough to keep me satisfied for a long time.

We climbed the few short stairs to the front porch when the door opened. A kindly man stood on the other side with a warm smile under a thin mustache. "Welcome to Eagleton. I hope your drive here went well."

"Terrific," Nate said while the man who introduced himself as Eric led us through. The interior was as charming as the exterior of this house. It looked like a historic inn, all wood and red brick, traditionally decorated and made so warm that I wanted to live here for the rest of my days. How wonderful would that be?

Eric showed us briefly the staircase that led to the upper floor where our apartment was but led the way into the secluded restaurant. Light, soothing classical music filled the empty dining room that was lit by countless candles and only offered a single table with two chairs.

My hand tightened around Nate's elbow. "Are you kidding me?"

"Nope," Nate said. "Thank you, Eric." That was to the man who just pulled a chair out for me. I murmured my thanks while Nate pulled his own chair back and sat down.

"The inn is yours, Mr. Partridge," Eric said politely as he retreated.

I looked around once again. The dining room's walls were painted dusty yellow, and ornate frames with paintings of lakes and landscapes were hanging from all sides. Large windows let the candlelight create a reflection against the night outside. My gaze went over the table, where there was a decanter, wineglasses, and neatly stacked plates. On them, elaborately folded napkins made me feel slightly out of place. It had been a while since I'd been exposed to high standards. Dad's resort vacations didn't entail a lot of luxury and often included bottomless mimosas for breakfast.

"You could have warned me to put something fancier on," I muttered, but the joy I felt at being treated like a prince was too much to keep out of my voice. I lifted my gaze and found his kind, handsome face glowing.

"You look absolutely perfect. I wouldn't change a thing," Nate said. He wore a very nice dark blue shirt and a pair of cream pants paired with a brown belt and classy brown sneakers. I should have suspected something was up if he dressed so nicely for a quick ride.

"The guy knows your name," I pointed out.

Nate wasn't concerned. "I would imagine he read it on the NDA."

I chuckled politely, but it was a scary reminder of who we were. He was a famous winger, even if he was retired, and NDAs were his everyday occurrence.

Footsteps approached us lightly from somewhere behind me, and a middle-aged woman with black hair and dark eyes paused by our table. "Good evening, Mr. Partridge," she said. "Would you like to order?" She scanned the table and lifted the decanter. She had a timeless beauty to her that made me want to watch everything she did.

As I gazed up at her, I didn't notice Nate's expression until he spoke. "Ana? God, how are you?"

The woman visibly lit up. "Very well, sir, thank you for asking."

I looked at Nate with a curious frown on my face, but he went on. "How's Suzie? Has she made it into Everett Hills?" He lost me there. I had no idea what was going on.

Ana smiled broadly as she finished pouring wine. "Made it and graduated from it, sir."

Nate blew out a breath of air. "Time flies. I bet you're a proud mom."

Judging by the way she beamed, that was a safe bet to make. She thanked Nate again and then wrote down our orders. We each picked very light starters and easy main courses. Eating wasn't high on the list of things I wanted to do.

Ana went away with the orders, and I stared at Nate. "You know each other?" Why would he bring me to a place where he personally knew someone? Was he coming out?

Nate simply shrugged. "I've been here before, oh, four or five years ago. I didn't expect to see a familiar face."

He didn't know it then, but that was the moment when I pulled my heart out of my chest, put it in a nice little box, and gave it to him for good. "You remember a server from four years ago," I whispered. And the server's daughter and the name of some school I had never heard of.

Nate looked bewildered that I would even talk about it.

"Does being recognized worry you?" I asked gently, just to make sure.

Nate sucked his teeth and shook his head. "It's alright. This is a discreet establishment. Why else do you think they rent out the entire house to just one couple? Many more popular people have stayed here, I'm sure. Not that anyone here would tell me if that's true."

"I'm going to go on a limb and say you had a date here," I teased him.

Nate flushed and waved his hands nervously, explaining how it should have been a date, but the guy was a no-show, probably scared off by the fact that this wasn't some back-alley hostel but a fine inn. "That's how I met Ana. I was a loser who got stood up."

I moaned with sympathy. "Oh, poor baby." It made him laugh.

Our starters arrived. Feta cheese baked in crusty dough and drenched in honey was the greatest thing that had ever come from an oven. After that, we each had a very good salad, followed by a chocolate cake that was nearly as good as orgasms.

We devoured everything on the table while I questioned Nate about his dating life. It was pretty much what I had already guessed. His dates had been few and far between, always discreet, never serious, and never, ever in public. He spoke about never hoping to have something real, but his eyes dazzled like he believed he had it now.

I wanted it to be true. This was the realest thing I had ever had, too, but my experience was limited. It was similar to what he told me, aside from the need to keep it all hidden.

Nate leaned over abruptly, cupped my chin, and dragged his thumb over the corner of my lips. He pulled his hand back and licked his thumb playfully, shooting me a naughty look as if he were eighteen years old and about to raise some hell. "Chocolate," he said with a pleased smile.

A fire roared in me. I fought hard not to wheeze. When I managed to inhale, I whispered, "If you don't take me upstairs right now, I'll break something."

Nate pushed his chair back promptly and stood. I followed his lead, happy to play chicken with him if that was what he wanted. I had my eye on the prize, but I wasn't sure if he'd finally give in. I needed him more than I needed air in my lungs or that chocolate cake in my mouth.

We slowly went upstairs, where the entire floor was converted into a suite. A sitting room had a door that led into the spacious bedroom. As we entered it, more candles were burning, giving the room its cozy feel. Rose petals were scattered all over the bed, and the see-through white silk canopy had more rose petals sprinkled over it.

I lost my breath when we entered. The bed was straight in front. To my right was another door leading to the bathroom, and to my left was a fancy vintage dresser with many candles of various colors and a large mirror hanging above it.

"Do you like it?" Nate asked.

I turned on my heels to face him, slid my arms around his torso, and rose on my toes to kiss his lips. "I love it," I whispered after the kiss. "It's like you're reading my mind."

Nate's hands rested on my lower back, our bodies pressing together. "You haven't exactly been subtle."

I laughed. "What changed your mind?" I gazed at him as if I would never get to see him again and wanted to absorb every detail of his face. His short hair showed signs of thick curls, and beautiful lines spread subtly from the outer corners of his eyes. I looked at his perfect teeth and his full, sexy lips.

"Nothing," he said. "I wanted this as much as you, baby." That word made me his as much as I could be. "I just wanted us to get to know each other better."

"You mean you wanted to make sure I'd still like you after a month." I didn't need him to confirm that, so I didn't let him. Instead, I kissed him again, thrusting my tongue into his mouth shamelessly and exploring its warmth.

Nate kissed me back just as hotly, shutting the bedroom door with one hand while lowering the other to my ass. The chocolate lick had turned me on already, but the proximity and pressure made me wild with lust.

We stumbled across the room, groping for each other's clothes until I tripped over the edge of the bed and fell flat on the soft mattress.

Nate laughed, undoing the buttons of his shirt and revealing his beautiful body. When he shrugged his shirt off, I took a moment to admire those big, round shoulders. I never got used to the way my heart leaped at seeing him undress.

I put my fingers to good use, too, ridding myself of my shirt and starting the work on my pants. These weeks we had spent together had been the most magical time of my life. I was doing the things I loved, and I had the undivided attention of the man I had coveted for years. He made me his. He cared for me. And he opened up to me.

I knew he'd stalled with this because he wanted me to know what life had been like for him. I knew how scared he was of coming out both to the public and to his family. I knew that hiding it from them made him feel like a liar, but I didn't think so harshly of him at all. And now that he knew how little his past mattered to me and how much I saw him for who he was, he wasn't holding back.

Nate bent down and grabbed my pants, pulling them all the way down my legs while I hurried to kick my shoes off. When all I had left on me was a pair of black briefs with red hearts printed all over them, Nate knelt on the bed between my legs.

"You sexy thing," he purred as I wrapped my legs around his waist. My bare, smooth thighs met his naked torso, and pure fire roared to life between us. He kissed my lips while swinging his hips back and forth, his cock trapped inside his pants but hard enough to let me feel it against my crotch. His lips dragged down from mine, crossing my chin and trailing my throat, then covering all of my torso from my collarbones to my belly button. When he reached the waistband of my briefs, I was shaking with lust and anticipation.

Nate's fingers hooked under the waistband of my briefs on the small of my back, and he gently pulled my underwear down. As he pulled them over my ankles, I spread my legs for him and waited for the gasp.

"Oh, you naughty boy," he purred, his chest rising as he inhaled.

Nate bit his lip hard as his right hand traveled between my cheeks, his fingers touching the flat end of my plug and applying a bit of pressure that made my toes curl.

"You've had this all night, you dirty little…" He moaned as he pressed the plug harder and watched my eyes roll back.

I grabbed his wrist before he could pull his hand away. "Keep doing that."

He rubbed it slowly but not gently, each thrust of his hand making me wince and gasp. My dick was so hard that it ached when it throbbed, and my hole was tight around the plug that Nate was pulling and pressing in turns.

My eyes shut, and I grabbed the comforter under me, closing my fists around its soft fabric. Another moan broke out of me, and I couldn't hold myself back anymore. "This feels so fucking good," I hissed as he toyed with my plug. "But I want you in there."

Nate took the plug firmly and tugged it as if to test me. I was tight after having it in all night, and the plug was wide where it was inside of me. It took Nate a few gentle pulls before I dared to relax enough to give it a chance.

My arms shot from the back, and I grabbed his shoulders, forcing my hole to loosen and feeling the ball-shaped lower side of the plug drag out of me. I cried out with pleasure and pain, the former being much more dominant.

Nate dropped the plug aside on the bed and pressed his soothing fingers against my bruised hole, rubbing gently while bringing his face close to mine. He kissed the quiet whimpers off my lips while massaging me. The lube I'd used for the toy left me slick for his finger, and it entered me so smoothly that I moaned into my lover's mouth.

Nate's kisses grew more passionate and ferocious as he probed me with his middle finger. "You're so warm and wet," he whispered, dragging his lips from my mouth to my ear. He kissed and licked and bit me everywhere he wanted, and I moaned louder as his finger worked its magic. My arms wrapped around his upper torso, and our chests pressed together.

"I want you," I begged. "I want your dick."

He said nothing, but he pulled his finger out. When he straightened his torso to tower over me, he wore a smug smile and watched the mess that I was. My face was hot, my small dick was standing upright with precum dragging down its short length, and my panting was bordering hyperventilation.

"Stay like that, gorgeous," he purred as he got off the bed. From his pocket, he tossed a condom and a small packet of lube, then undressed completely.

My heart stumbled when I saw his big dick swinging with every move he made. I wanted it so deep inside me. I wanted it all.

Nate slipped the condom on as soon as he knelt back on the bed and poured the entirety of the small pack of lube onto his fingers. When he was slick, he brought the rest between my legs as if I needed more.

I didn't object, but I shook with impatience.

He lowered himself over me, my legs around his waist and his right arm sliding under my head. As he looked into my eyes, his dick touched my hole, making it close up by instinct.

I relaxed all of my body, my lips parting to let me breathe when my nose wasn't enough. Our gazes locked onto one another. I nodded, and Nate applied pressure. The first sensation was always pain, searing, tearing pain, but it never lasted longer than a few seconds, and when it passed, even its memory faded.

He inserted himself into me, and my heart upped its pace. I threw my arms around his upper back and smashed my mouth against his, moaning into him as he entered me. No more pain existed. The heated stretching sensation was all pleasure now, although my body wasn't letting him get nearly as deep as I wanted him just yet.

When he nestled himself inside of me, his hips swung back and forth, and I knew he was testing my body's limits. But I also knew I could pleasure him in every way he could imagine. Each careful thrust of his hips made him enter me deeper by a fraction of an inch. And each time I made a sound, he asked me if I was feeling good, if I wanted him to stop, if it hurt.

Instants of pain followed when he impaled me deeper, but none mattered because I loved this in its entirety.

At once, Nate pulled his torso up, sliding deeper into me when my body allowed it. His hard abs lifted off my dick, and he pressed his fists into the mattress around my head. I held onto his biceps, moving my hips to match his pace, bringing our bodies closer together and making our souls merge into one.

He whispered how beautiful I was and used his right hand to move the unruly locks of my hair away from my brow, wiping off the sweat that was gathering on my forehead.

My senses heightened, but they excluded everything other than us. I no longer heard the murmurs of the wind outside the window and smelled the rosy scents of the candles around us. I only knew his touch and the sweet scents of our sex. I only heard the grunts and moans and wetness between us. I only saw his brown eyes and the desire that burned in him brighter than anyone other than me could know.

My hands traveled down his arms, and he twined his fingers with mine. As he lifted my arms above my head, his pace quickened, and he rammed into me harder, urged by my panting and pleas for more.

"Yes," I whispered. "Fuck me, please. Fuck me just like that."

Even our breaths synchronized. His dick filled me and rubbed perfectly against my prostate, making precum leak from me in crazy amounts. I could feel the wetness as it cooled on my abdomen.

Nate released my arms and knelt straight up, pulling me on himself by my hips and grinding me up and down his crotch and abdomen. The angle was perfect to make me lose my mind. He took me to hell and back, and I discovered that the eternal flames weren't as hot as the passion we had for one another.

He fucked me harder, ravaging me and making me moan like I was getting paid for it. And when he put one big hand around my small dick, I was ready to blow. "Play with me," I grunted. "Play with my little cock."

The words made him moan as he obeyed my command. "It's so pretty," he said, the word itself implying its small size. In phrasing it so, he touched something so deep in my heart that made me lose all control. And then, as if he knew of this hidden desire, he said, "Such a cute little dick, baby."

His words were barely over his lips when I throbbed hard, and my cum squirted onto my chest, the second wave flowing over his fingers as he gripped me harder.

Nate's hips moved faster, and he choked as he jerked me off.

My eyes rolled back, and my toes curled so hard that a cramp threatened my foot. I couldn't make a sound. All my muscles were tensing; my hole clenched hard around his dick.

He cried out, pulling his dick out of me and slipping the condom off in one incredible move. As he stroked himself twice, cum sprayed me and the bed around me, Nate's muscled body glowing with sweat and candlelight.

He collapsed next to me, pressing his lips against mine as we both panted for air and swam through the bottomless ocean of lust, driven by the hormones injected into our bloodstreams, fogging our minds.

I clutched him and held him close, shaking and trying to say how incredible that was. His attempts at speaking had the same result, and we abandoned the unintelligible gibberish in favor of kissing.

How could anything be this perfect?

And how could life ever get any better than this?

I didn't bother looking for answers. I didn't need them. Simply being in this moment, in this room, with this man, was enough. I would truly have to be a greedy, insatiable monster to wish for more.

And I kissed him again, hard, hoping that he understood what it meant. You are more than enough for me. I am yours for as long as I breathe. Whether it translated or not, I didn't know, but Nate seemed happy enough to keep the kiss going.