Chapter 12

I tried to focus on the woman I was introduced to, but all the show prep I had with Kendra over the last couple weeks has closed me off to anyone else. The less I'm allowed to have her, the more I want to say fuck the rules and do it anyway. Especially after that night we stayed up talking for hours at the hotel.

I was reminded twice today to not look into the camera, which I wasn't, I was looking at Kendra standing next to it. Luckily, now that she's interviewing me, I'm supposed to keep my eyes on her. That's easy. Trying to separate myself from her, for her sake? Not so much.

I'm in the back studio where the questioning takes place, or as they call them, "confessionals." Since I'm only meeting one woman at a time, they want to practice filming my first impressions so I know what I should be noticing. They asked me for feedback after my first date, and apparently, I need to say more than "Fine." I'm set up in a chair under bright lights. A paper napkin thing is folded and stuffed in the collar of my shirt by one of the makeup artists as they apply some product to my face, what that is, I have no idea. I can't tell a difference.

Before long, Kendra hustles through the door wearing one of those headsets everyone and their uncle is wearing, along with walkie-talkies. She appears to be in the middle of a conversation.

Everyone at the studio loves her. I've watched her do at least six unique handshakes with staff members. She's alive in this place. They should be doing a show about her, not me. She's way more entertaining to watch. Like a ball of light brightening the faces of everyone she's put in front of. Myself included.

"Thanks Curtis," she says, then her eyes lock onto mine and that bright smile appears on her face. "Ready?"

I nod. Her demeanor is friendly, but she's focused. They snatch the paper from under my collar, and the director I met earlier—James—checks the shot through the camera lens. "Levels are good," he says to Kendra. They do a countdown and just like that, we're filming again.

"Tell me what you think about Kia."

"Seems nice," I answer.

"Remember, we need you to use full sentences in your confessionals or the viewers won't know who you're talking about… These will be used as footage in between the candid shots. Most of the confessionals will be filmed at the end, but this is a good warm-up."

I resist groaning. " Kia seems nice… she volunteers with kids, so that's cool…" I chuckle nervously. "Is it weird that all my dates have been marketing managers?" I've been in front of the camera a thousand times, it's not the filming that has me uncomfortable, it's that I'm discussing dating other women with Kendra—the woman I actually want to date.

She moves onto another question. "Is there anyone here you felt you had a natural chemistry with?"

"One."