Chapter one

At this moment, I am cursing writers of rom-coms for making meet-cutes a thing. Way too many guys and girls have “spilled” their drinks over me and ruined my clothes in the hopes we’d hit it off and go on a date.

Where are the people content to slide into your DMs instead of possibly risking third-degree burns and ruined clothes. I don’t get how that’s cute.

It’s not gonna happen anyway.

How could it when I’m happily torturing myself by being head-over-heels in love with my twin sister’s best friend?

Ugh.

Stupid Ryder with his stupid perfect face and stupid charming personality. Why does my brain always have to go to him? I’m fully aware he’s the reason for my grumpy-as-fuck mood this morning. Walking in on him and Kait talking about his sexcapades last night was torture. He doesn’t go into detail, but I’m still not a fan of knowing how many times he came with some guy who isn’t me.

Not that he knows I like him.

He and my sister are closer than my sister and me. There is no escaping him, but I’ve always managed to just up-nod as we walk past each other, kinda friendly.

“Dude, another one?” Gio asks, pulling me out of my thoughts. I realize I’ve walked out of the coffee shop to the courtyard where I’m meeting my friends, Gio, Luke, and Perry, on autopilot. “You should wear a sign around your neck that reads: Unless you are Ryder Jackson, you aren’t getting this cock.”

“For fuck’s sake, shut up,” I hiss, looking around to see if anyone’s within hearing distance as the others try and stifle their laughter.

My friends know about my crush on Ryder even though I haven’t told them. I thought I kept that totally locked down, but apparently, I look at him a certain way.

I can’t help it if my eyes are drawn to his body. He has a really great ass.

It’s a good thing I love and trust these guys. There are ten of us on the FVU cheerleading squad, and you can’t help but bond over that. We mainly cheer for the football team, and even though a few of them are queer, we still get a few asshole fans throwing out slurs like confetti. Even the straight guys on the squad get shit. Maybe especially the straight guys since they are constantly having to defend their sexuality.

“No one is paying us any attention,” Gio says, rolling his eyes at me. He’s been my best friend since freshman year. Gio is wonderfully blunt. I think it’s the Italian in him. He pats my shoulder before grimacing at the coffee stain overtaking half my white shirt. “This one was a little more enthusiastic than the others. Was he at least cute?”

“I didn’t notice.”

“Ouch, did you let him down gently?” Luke asks, crossing his arms. He doesn’t have the best luck with guys, so he’s always a little sensitive to how people let others down. One date asked him if he had a condom he could borrow so he could fuck their server.

“Well, when he started apologizing, I cut him off and said, ‘No worries, bro. My girl will hook you up with a new coffee,’ and then I winked at the barista and left.”

You know when people say the silence was deafening? I just thought they were exaggerating. Turns out silence can be really loud.

The sight of their faces, mouths agape, eyes wider than a silver dollar coin, makes the urge to laugh stronger by the second.

“Excuse me?” Perry is the first to regain his voice. Though it’s not usually quite so high-pitched. That’s a sure way to tell he’s pissed. “Did you pretend to be straight with that poor guy?”

“Not exactly.” I can’t help but wince. “It was more that I pretended I had a thing with the barista.”

“Lexi…” I cut Luke off before this goes anywhere else.

“I’m sorry, okay? I won’t do that again.” I sigh, running a hand through my dark-brown cropped hair. “I was already in a mood because I had to listen to Ryder tell Kait all about his hookups last night. And it was so bad I had to resort to wearing my favorite shirt to cheer myself up.” Three pairs of eyes look at me in sympathy.

“I’m sorry, man,” Gio says, wrapping me in a hug.

“Group hug,” Perry yells, and I feel him and Luke wrap their arms around me for a crushing hug. I love these guys. They eventually release me, only for Perry to cup my face. “I think we need to find you a man.”

I can’t help but stiffen. I don’t want any man. I want a particular man. Ryder is all I see, and it’s been that way since he transferred to our high school senior year and immediately became besties with Kait. I remember being out of school sick, and she brought him home after school. He was so beautiful. Still is with his shortish wavy black hair, intricate tattoo sleeves that I want to trace with my tongue, nose piercing, ear gauges, and stormy gray eyes that look like he can see into your soul. He is the epitome of a bad-boy stereotype. Seventeen-year-old me, high on cough syrup, told him he was pretty and got a chuckle and a “Thanks, man” in return.

He has never once looked at me how I look at him, and it makes my chest ache. I would love for him to see me. For those soulful eyes to actually see into my soul and know that we could be great together. He doesn’t. Why would he? It’s not as if I’ve ever given him any indication that I’m into him. Ryder is so vocal about only hooking up and no repeats. I’ve made sure to lock that down.

“Lexi—” Gio starts. I know what he’s going to say, so I cut him off.

“Can we not? I don’t want to talk about Ryder or dating anymore. I want to get a new coffee somewhere else and talk about you guys or cheerleading.”

Cheerleading is in my bones.

My dads were both cheerleaders in high school, and Kirsty, our egg donor, was also one, a cute fact they found out when she was pregnant with us. Our dads have never pushed us to be cheerleaders. Kait and I have just always loved it. Getting on the Flora Vista University cheer team was a dream come true.

There aren’t a lot of male cheerleaders in professional sports, so my junior and senior years are likely my last, but hopefully, when I complete my degree in sports and exercise science, I can go on to help other cheerleaders flourish.

“Fine, let’s head to the food trucks on 3rd Street. I do have some tea to share,” Perry says with an evil grin. I shake my head and follow the guys. The food trucks are only a five-minute walk, so we’re soon sitting at a picnic table covered in food. Cheerleading really gives us a big appetite. Even Luke, the leanest of us, has four tacos and a triple-stacked cheeseburger.

“So, what did you do?” I ask Perry after I demolish two of my chicken tacos.

“Why are you assuming I did something?” He rolls his eyes at our knowing looks. Perry is one of my best friends, and he’s also the king of pettiness. Cross him, and you’ll regret it.

“Okay, so do you remember Peter? My ex from freshman year who lasted three months?” he asks, leaning forward with a glint in his eye.

Gio quirks an eyebrow. “Of course, he was a total jerk to you.”

“Ugh, I know. Anyway, I noticed he’d started using my Netflix account again recently. The fucker even created his own profile.”

“Oh my god, please tell me you ripped him a new one,” I say.

“I did one better. I saw that he was binge-watching Stranger Things, and I set up an alert on his Twitter because he would live tweet as he watched. I waited until he was halfway through, and then I changed my password, locking him out. I also texted him the finale spoilers.”

We all bust out laughing, Perry leaning back with a self-satisfied smirk.

“What did he say after that?” Gio asks.

“No clue.” Perry shrugs. “I immediately blocked him on everything. It’s so much more fun when they only have the void to scream into.”

“I wish I had a shitty ex to be petty about.” Luke sighs. “Why did I not inherit the flirty gene like my brothers?”

Poor Luke. He’s absolutely gorgeous, funny, and quiet, but when it comes to men he’s attracted to, he gets into his head and turns into a babbling mess. It’s really not pretty to watch.

“You need to stop comparing yourself to your brothers. You’ll meet your perfect man, without spilling coffee on his favorite shirt, and he will turn you into a pretzel.” I smile at him comfortingly and pat him on the back.

“That’s all I ask for.” Luke nods emphatically.

Gio rolls his eyes. “You know you don’t need a man to be happy. You just need friends and a ridiculously good dildo.”

“I have a great dildo. What I want is the feel of a man’s weight on me as I orgasm.” He looks off into the distance. “I bet it will feel great.”

Before I have a chance to delve into that sentence, all our phones go off at the same time, eliciting a collective groan.

Coach Phillips.

Our coach is an amazing woman, but at the beginning of every school year, she seems to forget we all have classes as well as cheerleading. Perry gets to his phone first.

“It’s an SOS. We need to head to the gym now.”

I really hope it’s not a surprise practice. I can’t do layouts on a stomach full of tacos.

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The four of us are the last ones to arrive. Everyone is in little groups in various states of dress. I wave to my sister, who is standing with her friends, Sammy and Liz. All three of them are in their pajamas. Yeah, it’s two p.m. on a Thursday, but we’re college students.

The four of us make our way over to Hudson, Wyatt, and Bradley, the other three guys on our squad we regularly hang out with. Hudson currently has Wyatt in a headlock, which happens far more often than you might think. They are two of four straight guys on our team.

“Yo, dudes, what’s the what? Any clue why we’re all here?” Bradley asks, fist-bumping us all. He’s our resident frat boy. Next to Wyatt and Hudson, he’s the most laid-back guy on the team. With his curly blond hair tied back in a messy bun, he certainly exudes the California surfer-dude stereotype.

“We’ve got no idea. We were hoping you might know what was going on,” Perry says, flopping down on the mat next to an out-of-breath but no longer in a headlock Wyatt.

“No clue,” Hudson says as the rest of us sit. “Coach hasn’t come into the gym yet. Everyone has just been standing around chatting.”

The second he finishes that sentence, Coach Phillips enters the gym with her assistants and claps to get our attention.

“Right. I know at the beginning of the semester, we gave a great speech about how we’re going to focus on the National Cheerleading Championship coming up in April, but I’ve also found out there’s going to be a charity cheer competition in seven weeks. I think it will be a great opportunity to compete while raising funds for our local charity. The Rainbow Dreams Cheerleading Championship will be a much lighter atmosphere compared to regionals in January and the final in May.”

She pauses, looking at us all intensely. “It will be a more challenging year, but I wouldn’t suggest this if I didn’t think the squad could handle it. Let’s put it to a vote. All in favor of taking part, raise your hands.”

Pretty much everyone raises their hands. We are competitive in nature. I know cheerleading isn’t recognized as an official sport, but we’re athletes, and we like to compete and win.

“Good. Assistant Coaches Lopez and Kramer and I will have more details at the next practice.”

Everyone breaks out in conversation as they leave the gym.

“An extra competition sounds fun,” Luke says excitedly, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “I love that it’s an LGBTQ+ one as well.”

“Yeah, I think it’s going to be fun.” I smile at him. I’ll probably be so busy with cheer and my classes that I won’t even have time to think about Ryder.

This is going to be great.