32. Taylor

"A flipped coin is most likely to land on the side it starts on." ~ Tim Rhodes

"In caseI haven't told you, you look incredible tonight." Carson held out his hand and helped me out of his luxury SUV.

"Thank you." Without running it by my brain, I pretended not to see his palm and instead used the door to steady myself as I stepped down. I wasn't trying to be rude; it was an automatic response I had to strangers.

As we crossed the gravel lot, he placed his hand on my lower back, and I instantly tensed. My entire body was seized with discomfort. I'd hoped that Remi had cured me of my aversion to being touched by strangers, especially men. It turned out that wasn't the case. Which was deeply frustrating.

Dr. Carson Mathis was everything I'd always told myself I wanted in a partner. I didn't know him that well, but word on the Valley Memorial street was that he was confident, funny, smart, and didn't take himself seriously. He was kind to all of his patients, even the difficult and abusive ones.

I'd never considered myself a shallow person, but I definitely needed to be attracted to someone I was with, and Dr. Mathis had movie star-good looks. In fact, he was the spitting image of Josh Holloway, dimples and all. He could easily grace the covers of Men's Health or GQ. He stood over six feet tall, with light brown hair, dark green eyes, and strong facial features. It was clear that his long hours at the hospital did not detract from his time in the gym. I'd heard from the nurses that he did CrossFit and also boxed. I was not surprised. And the cherry on top of his appearance sundae were his tattoos. His ink gave him just enough of a bad-boy edge to counteract his wholesome All-American appearance.

Before tonight, I'd only seen him in scrubs, but it was no surprise he cleaned up well. When I opened the door and found him in a charcoal t-shirt and black slacks, I'd been impressed. He looked hot, sexy even. He was objectively in the top one percent of attractive people in the entire world. But I was not attracted to him.

Or at least I didn't think I was. Maybe instead of being my cure to the opposite sex, Remi Rhodes was acting as a beta blocker for my pheromones and arousal. Just knowing he existed was obstructing any attraction I might feel for anyone else. If that was the case, then I needed to get a grip on myself.

Tonight, I made myself a promise not to think about Remi Rhodes under any circumstances. That promise had been broken when choosing my dress. I'd changed five times, and it wasn't with Dr. Mathis in mind. I'd wanted to look my best on the off chance my path crossed with Remi.

My behavior was not healthy. I knew that, academically. Unfortunately, it seemed my brain was no longer taking its cues from logic and reason. It was Team Hormones all the way.

Carson opened the large wooden door to the bar and held it for me. As I entered, I intentionally walked a few steps ahead of him to create some much-needed space. The second his hand dropped, I felt myself relax.

This was a mistake.

I shouldn't have agreed to this date. I'd nearly called it off, leaving the decision to chance with a good old-fashioned coin toss. An hour before Carson picked me up, I'd played ten rounds with two separate quarters. Each and every time the coins landed in favor of going on this date. Situations like this were exactly why I never left anything in my life up to chance. I was about to turn around and tell him that when I noticed Kenna behind the bar. Her right brow lifted in a silent question, asking me who I was with.

After taking a deep breath, I decided one drink wouldn't kill me. Carson had taken the time to get dressed and come pick me up, he deserved at least that.

As we approached the bar, I smiled widely. "Kenna, this is Dr. Carson Mathis. Carson, this is my cousin Kenna."

Carson grinned, revealing the deep dimple in his right cheek. "Nice to meet you, cousin Kenna."

"Nice to meet you, too, Dr. Carson Mathis."

She glanced between the two of us, and I could see she had more questions. Before this became an inquisition, I figured I should retreat. "We're gonna get a drink and grab a booth."

Kenna nodded. "What can I get you guys?"

"Vodka soda," I ordered my usual.

"Can I just get something dark on tap?"

He wasn't fussy about drinks, which was another box checked. I hated men, or people in general, who were pretentious when it came to ordering drinks. It was a pet peeve of mine. I was the same way when it came to food. Which was why I'd been so impressed when Kyle/Remi had been so easy-going and not bothered about his order being wrong from the Chinese food place.

No, I reprimanded myself. I was not going to think about him. Surely, I could go two hours and not think about Remi Rhodes. If not, I was in big trouble.

Kenna quickly made my drink and pulled his beer. As she slid them over to us, he handed her his card for the tab and said, "Thanks."

As we walked away, I glanced back over my shoulder and saw Kenna fanning herself with the credit card and giving me a thumbs up. I grinned and wished I felt even half the enthusiasm she had for this date.

Carson stopped at a booth in the corner. It was tucked away and not too close to the speakers, so we'd be able to talk. "Is this good?"

"Perfect."

He held out his arm, and I slid into the seat facing the front of the building. I wasn't sure why I'd chosen it. His arm was extended to the other side, but for some reason, I just wanted to keep an eye on things.

Bullshit, I called myself out as I sipped my drink, and Carson took his seat across from me.

The truth was, I wanted to sit in this position so I'd be able to see if the man, who I was not going to think about tonight, made an appearance.

We sat chatting for about ten minutes about the hospital and the origin stories of how we ended up in medicine. I was not surprised to learn that he came from a long line of physicians, and that becoming a doctor was his legacy. He, on the other hand, was surprised to hear that I had gone into it for the money and stability. Most doctors claimed to have a calling; I was just realistic about my skill set and future. I was smart, good under pressure, and not squeamish at all. I had the ability to disconnect emotionally when treating a patient without being a total asshole. And people would always need doctors, so I wouldn't easily be replaced.

The conversation naturally lulled, and Carson asked, "So, how's Harper?"

He remembered my daughter's name when he'd never even met her. At least, not since she was a day old. He not only listened but also retained information, which was another tick in his favor.

"She's good."

"She just had her birthday, right?"

"Yeah, she turned five on Saturday."

"And you and her dad—you two aren't together?"

I wondered if he was asking about Kane because he thought he was the complication I'd mentioned. He was, but not in the way Carson suspected. The complication with Kane came in the form of his childhood best friend/brother-in-law.

"Kane and I were never together. We were just best friends."

"Oh, so it was a planned thing…to have a child together."

Some people might find Carson's questions too personal for a first date; I didn't. I hated small talk. His line of inquiry was just another quality to add to the ever-growing Why Carson Mathis Was Perfect For Me list.

"No, not exactly."

He grinned and took a sip of his beer. "I'm guessing he is the complication."

I knew it.I knew that's what this fishing expedition was all about.

I shook my head, and Carson's head tilted in curiosity.

"No, he's not, actually," I explained as the tiny hairs on the back of my arms and the back of my neck stood on end.

The only time that ever happened was when…

I looked at the entrance of the bar, and sure enough, the complication was standing at the end of the bar, staring right at me like a lion stalking his prey. He looked predatory. Dangerous. And really hot.

My entire body responded like I was being hunted. My heart rate increased. My mouth watered. My breath was shallow.

I was either having an allergic reaction to my vodka soda or an allergic reaction to Remi. I knew my answer. I just wished there was an EpiPen that worked for attraction.