15. Remi

"You can start a fire with ice." ~ Tim Rhodes

The first thingI saw when I pulled up to Kane and Ruby's house was Taylor through the large bay window. She was sitting next to Kane's grandfather, Otto, on the couch in the front room. When I looked at her, it was still difficult for me not to think of her as Ana. Maybe if she'd been another person—a person I hadn't already had preconceived ideas about—it might be easier. But she was Kane's best friend. The mother of his child.

I'd been hearing about her since I was eighteen. Kane met her during basic training, and they instantly hit it off. It was crazy that in all that time, I'd never actually met her. But between us all being in the military, her going into medical school before going back into the Navy, and me living out in California, our paths had never crossed. Since Kane didn't really have social media, I'd never even seen a picture of her.

As I stared at her now, I watched her head fall back with laughter at something Otto said. I closed my eyes and remembered the sweet sound. Her laugh sounded like summer. It sounded fresh, happy, and full of possibilities. It was the most charming, enchanting, captivating sound I'd ever heard. I would gladly spend the rest of my life dedicated to hearing it over and over again.

When I opened my eyes again, Otto and Taylor had stood up from the couch and were going around the corner where the kitchen was. I figured that was my cue to go inside. Just as I was reaching for the handle to get out of the truck my mom was letting me borrow while I was in town, my phone rang. I pulled it out of my pocket and saw it was Misty. I sent her to voicemail.

She'd called earlier today, and I'd done the same thing. It wasn't because I was particularly angry at her; it was just that both times we'd talked, she started crying, and I didn't want to be the one comforting her. I might not be mad, but I wasn't quite at the comforting stage yet.

My heart was beating so fast, it felt like wild horses were galloping in my chest as I walked up the path to the house. Since I got the text from Ruby last night reminding me about the barbeque, I'd been counting not the hours, not the minutes, the fucking seconds. All I could think about was seeing Taylor again. I had no idea how she was planning on behaving toward me tonight, and that only added to my anticipation.

Last night, I'd tossed and turned in bed, wondering if she was thinking about me. And if she was, I wanted to know what her thoughts were. Even though it was clear she was not on board to broadcast the fact we'd met before, I had to believe that part of her was happy that our paths had led back to each other. She might not say that, but deep down, I knew she felt it.

I knocked on the door twice, and when it opened, my sister was standing there with a huge smile.

"Hey, Bubbas!" She threw her arms around me after I walked inside. "Where's Mom?"

"She was tired after her shift and wanted to go to bed early."

Ruby closed the door and lifted her blue eyes, which were identical to my mom's, up to me. "What do you think's going on with her?"

The only time I'd seen my mom like this was after my dad died. Except that time, she was worse. She basically stayed in bed for three months. She'd just gotten a little bit better, but then she immediately got pregnant by the asshole.

I remembered her being in bed a lot after she had Ruby. As an adult looking back, I'm not sure if it was depression from losing her husband less than a year earlier or if she suffered from postpartum. As a ten-year-old kid, I just knew there was a baby who needed taking care of. I was the one getting up in the middle of the night. Changing diapers. Doing laundry.

Thankfully, the town showed up with dinners, diapers, formula, and other essentials. There were a few times I worried that they were going to take Ruby away. I remember seeing adults exchanging knowing looks, signifying that something needed to be done, but I did everything in my power to prevent that.

I made sure I got straight A's. I was never late for school, even if I hadn't slept. And the trailer was always clean. Seeing ten-year-old kids now, I wonder how I did it. At the time, I just knew that if I didn't, someone was going to take Ruby away from us, and there was no way I was going to let that happen.

People have always said I act more like a father to her than a brother; that first year was probably the reason.

"I don't know." I shook my head. "I don't think it's depression. She does seem genuinely tired, not like she's going to bed to hide from the world, and the trailer is spotless."

Before my dad died, my mom was always cleaning, cooking, baking, doing laundry—all the domestic things that parents do. But after he died, she just sort of stopped…everything. From that point on, we'd always had to fend for ourselves.

Ruby sighed as she nodded.

"I tried to talk to her about it," I told my sister. "But she just told me to come back and talk to her when I was fifty."

"Yeah, she told me the same thing."

Our conversation was interrupted when the back sliding door opened, and Harper stuck her head inside and bellowed, "Dinner's ready!"

"Oh, good!" Ruby clapped her hands together. "I'm starving."

My sister walked into the kitchen, and I followed. When I came around the corner, I was disappointed to see no sign of Taylor.

"Can you grab the wine from the fridge and bring it out?" Ruby asked as she picked up a bowl of fruit salad.

"Sure. I'm just gonna go wash up."

Harper was at the kitchen sink washing her hands, so I headed down the hallway to the guest bath. After closing the door behind me, my mind was working overtime to devise a game plan for how I was going to get Taylor alone to speak to her. The house was a decent size, but I doubted that she'd let me corner her anywhere. Especially since she wouldn't want anyone to see us speaking.

I'd thought about getting her phone number from Ruby or Kane last night under the guise of ‘wedding stuff' but decided it wouldn't be right to bother her on the first night she was back with Harper. Over the years, Kane told me how much it killed Taylor to be away from her daughter. She was an incredible mom.

Just one more check in the perfect column.

I still didn't have a plan when I opened the door and saw that opportunity had knocked. Taylor was standing in the hall. It was clear that she had no idea I was in the bathroom she was waiting for. Her eyes widened, and she started to turn away. Her effort didn't get her far. With ninja speed, I grabbed her wrist, pulled her inside, and shut the door.

"What are you doing?" she whisper-yelled.

"Funny, I wanted to ask you the same thing, Ana."

Her arm sprung up, and she covered my mouth with her hand. "Don't call me that."

Even though she was only touching me to stop me from talking, it was still contact—contact my entire body took note of. She must have felt it too, because her lips parted as she dropped her arm and reached for the doorknob. She was fast, but I was faster. Once again, I grabbed her wrist and pinned her hand behind her back. Her breath hitched as a flush rose on her cheeks.

Her eyes were locked with mine as I lowered my head, so our mouths were a mere inch apart. The warmth of her breath fanned my face as I asked, "Are you planning on ignoring me all night? All week?"

She swallowed with a gulp as she shook her head slightly. "I'm not ignoring you."

"Liar."

"I'm not ignoring you," she maintained as her shoulders straightened. "I don't have anything to say to you."

"You don't have anything to say to me?"

"No." Her gaze was steely and cold.

For whatever reason, this ice queen thing she had going on was really doing it for me. Maybe it was because I knew how hot she was when that fa?ade melted away.

"Really?" My lips brushed against hers as I spoke, and she moaned softly. "Because I have a lot to say to you."

"Mommy!" Harper called out from the kitchen.

Taylor's entire body tensed, and her eyes filled with panic.

"Go." I released her arms and opened the door.

She walked out, and I waited so that if anyone was with Harper, they wouldn't see us walk out together. Also, I needed a moment to get my body under control. My pants were a little tighter than they had been a few moments ago.

I took a deep breath and tried to think about anything other than how good it felt to be so close to Taylor again. How sweet her breath was, how soft her curves were, and how willing her body was.

I knew that she needed time and space to adjust to who I was, and I was okay giving her that. I just needed to look into her eyes and see whether she still felt about me the way that she had in the hotel room, and I'd gotten my answer.

Her cold and distant behavior toward me didn't really have anything to do with me. She hated surprises, and the one we'd shared was a doozy. I was leaving on Sunday, so it's not like I had a ton of time. But then again, I could always extend my stay. It's not like I had anything to go home to.