Chapter 43

FORTY-THREE

Lana pulled a fast one on us. She was so sweet and innocent that first week, Ty and I were convinced we got lucky with a great sleeper. Apparently, she was just waiting until we’d let our guards down to really lose her shit.

I don’t think I’ve slept more than two hours at a time—if that—in over a week. I’ve never been so exhausted in my entire life.

There’s a knock on the door just as I finish pumping the excess milk Lana didn’t finish before she passed out. I remove the flange from my breast and then cover up. “Come on in,” I say, trying to keep my voice mostly normal so as not to startle Lana and wake her up.

The door opens and Ty’s mom steps in. “Hey, honey, just checking on you.”

I give her a soft, tired smile. “I’m hanging in there.”

Sympathy fills her face. “You look exhausted.”

“Gee, thanks,” I mutter. I know she doesn’t mean it badly, but I feel gross and tired, so I’m sure I look like I got hit by a bus.

She glances at the two filled bottles of milk I was able to pump. “Why don’t you give those to me, and I’ll put them in the fridge and take over watching Lana so you can get some rest. A decent nap will work wonders.”

I nibble my lip, my gaze darting to my sweet little bundle of terror in her bassinet. She sleeps so peacefully, you’d have no idea she’s wreaking havoc on her parents’ sanity.

“A nap does sound nice.”

She moves into the room, grabbing the two bottles of breast milk and tucking them into the corner of the bassinet that thankfully has wheels, so she can wheel Lana out of our room.

“Is Ty downstairs?” I ask with a yawn. He’s been quiet the past week, ever since he went to see Tanner at his hotel. He hasn’t talked to me about it, but I can tell it’s on his mind. Whenever he thinks I’m not looking, he gets a faraway look in his eyes that I don’t think is just caused by sleep deprivation.Guilt still eats away at me that I’m the cause of this rift, maybe not from my actions, but simply due to my existence in Ty’s life.

Tina’s already wheeling Lana out of the room when she turns back, her posture slightly stiff. “Uh, no. He said he had to run some errands.”

It’s not what she says but how she says it that has my nerves swirling in my belly. “Did he say what errands?”

She doesn’t look at me, but continues to walk out of the room, only speaking when she turns around to close the door. “I don’t think so, but don’t you worry about a thing. Just get some rest and then take a nice, long, hot bath or shower. Okay?”

She doesn’t wait for a response before the door clicks shut, and I’m left with blissful silence. No crying, no sounds from my pump. My brain tries to stay focused on wondering where Ty is and what errands he had to run, but exhaustion wraps around me like a warm, weighted blanket, and I sag against the bed, already asleep before my head even hits the pillow.

I wake up feeling like a brand-new person. Stretching my arms above my head, I stay relaxed in bed, allowing my body to wake up slowly instead of the jolt of concern I usually feel when Lana’s cries wake me.

I sit up and reach for my phone, my hand stopping when I see the small tray on my nightstand with some fresh fruit, crackers, and nuts next to my favorite juice. A note says “Eat Me” with a smiley face. I recognize Ty’s handwriting, and my cheeks instantly stretch into a smile as I pick up the note, tracing the letters and then holding it to my chest. Maybe it’s silly, but his small acts of love always make me feel the most cherished. I don’t need grand gestures as long as he keeps doing these little things that show he’s thinking of me.

I eat a fresh strawberry and then notice a large box on the foot of Ty’s side of the bed. Another note sits on top.

After your bath, put me on.

Putting down the rest of my strawberry, I pull the large rectangular box over and lift the lid. A gasp escapes as I see a gorgeous navy blue dress inside. A pair of silver heels are in a separate box.

My hormones have somewhat settled over the last few days, but at this sweet act, tears of happiness fill my eyes.

I don’t know what he has planned, but I don’t want to keep him waiting, so I throw off the blankets, steal another berry from the tray, and then make my way to the bathroom. When I walk in, another note greets me, and my smile is so wide at this point, my cheeks start to hurt.

Don’t rush. Today is about relaxation. There’s a lavender and mint bath bomb waiting to be used. Take your time, Precious. I love you.

I don’t think my heart could feel any fuller if I tried.

Stripping out of my pajamas, I get the water running to fill the deep tub which has quickly become my favorite feature of this bathroom. While I wait for the steaming hot water to fill the tub, my gaze catches on my reflection in the mirror. I stare at my stomach and the scar from my C-section. My stomach has a small pooch it never had before, and a part of me struggles to see the changes of my body and stop the doubt from niggling in. Will Ty still find me attractive? Will my new insecurities about my body be another thing that gets in the way of our relationship? I nibble my bottom lip and wish I was strong enough to banish the negative self-talk as soon as it starts, but that’s so much easier said than done.

It takes no effort at all to look away from my changed body and focus back on the water. Dropping the bath bomb, I watch it fizz and turn the water a light violet color before I slip in and turn off the water once it covers my shoulders. My muscles relax almost immediately from the heat of the bath combined with the lavender and mint essence. I stay in the water, letting my mind drift and my muscles relax until my body feels completely languid. I don’t move until the water starts to get too cold, and then I finally get out and start getting ready for whatever Ty has planned.

I take the time to pump before I get dressed, knowing it’ll buy me a few hours before I need to pump or breastfeed Lana again. I don’t want achy or leaky breasts to interfere with whatever we’re doing tonight. The dress slips on and fits loosely around my stomach so it doesn’t add any pressure to my incision, while the heels are low and much more comfortable than I expected them to be. I keep my makeup simple and blow-dry my hair into soft waves, hanging loosely around my shoulders. I haven’t worn my hair down since Lana was born because her little fingers love to find loose hair and pull hard while I’m nursing. Now wearing it up has become the norm—so wearing it down tonight feels luxurious.

When I walk downstairs, Ty is standing in the living room talking to his mom. I can’t hear their conversation, but it ceases as soon as his gaze lands on mine. His mouth parts, and even from this distance, I can see the way his eyes fill with heat. His gaze coasts down my body like a smooth caress that has goose bumps rising across my arms. He moves around his mom, coming closer, and I finally get to see how his perfectly tailored navy blue suit hugs all his muscles, and my mouth waters at how good he looks.

He wraps his arms around me, pulling me close to his body—but gently because he knows my stomach still feels tender. “You look so beautiful, Precious.”

My cheeks heat even as my gaze stays locked on his. “You look pretty handsome yourself. I feel like you’ve been holding out on me.” My hands run down his thick arms. “You look very hot in a suit.”

He tilts his head back, laughing, and it brings a smile to my face to see him looking so carefree after the stress of the last few weeks.

When he looks back down at me, his eyes are shining with love. His thumb brushes my cheek before he dips down and presses his lips enticingly against mine. A low rumble comes from his throat, and he pulls away but rests his forehead on mine. “You’re too tempting.”

He steps back but intertwines his fingers with mine. “Ready to go?”

“Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise. Do you trust me?”

The corners of my lips tilt up, and it feels good to answer so easily. “Yes.”