Chapter 14

FOURTEEN

As I pull up to Lexi’s place to pick her up for our date, my eyes scan the neighborhood like I do every time I come here. I can’t ignore the knot in my gut about her safety, and I don’t like her living here where I can’t protect her or our baby. With one more glance around, I get out of the car and jog up to her apartment. I’ve barely knocked before she’s swinging the door open, and I have to remind myself to breathe.

Goddamn, she’s beautiful. Her dark hair falls softly around her shoulders, over her deep-green sweater. She’s wearing dark wash skinny jeans that hug her hips, and when she turns around to grab her purse, I have to bite back a groan at the sight of her luscious ass in those pants.

It’s been a long time since I’ve had sex, and this woman turns me on more than any other woman I’ve ever met.

She spins around, not at all aware of the effect she has on me, and closes the door. I stand behind her while she locks up and then we walk side by side to my car. My fingers twitch with the desire to grab her hand, and I hold my breath as I reach out and twine my fingers with hers. She glances up at me, a soft smile on her face, and my breath escapes as I relax.

We’re having a kid together, but sometimes I feel like a confused fifteen-year-old boy taking a girl out on a date for the first time with not a single clue how to act around her.

I thought I left those days behind me a long time ago, but apparently all it takes is this woman to bring it out in me. You’d think after the last several weeks, I would feel surer of myself with her, but that thin sliver of doubt I’ve held on to about her—thanks in part to my brother’s continued texts and calls about a paternity test—has kept me from feeling stable in this growing relationship with her.

And I hate it because I don’t want to doubt her anymore. I don’t want to second-guess myself before I reach out to touch her. Especially when my body knows with one hundred percent certainty that it wants her and no one else.

When we get to my car, I step forward and open the door for her. A subtle blush streaks across her cheeks, and her eyes connect with mine for a second before she ducks her head and slides in with a quiet thanks.

I walk behind the car and slow my steps, taking a deep breath as I try to get my body under control. That split second of eye contact should not have me hard as a goddamn rock, but it does. There’s something about the way Lexi looks at me that makes me feel seen in a way I never have been—even if only for a second. It was the same during our night together. Every look felt like she was seeing my soul, and it was impossible to hide from her.

It hits me then that even though she knows the truth of who I am now, she doesn’t look at me any different. She doesn’t look at me with dollar signs or like I can do something for her. She looks at me like she sees me .

I take a deep breath before I open my door and slide in, the doubts that have niggled at me since our first disastrous lunch when she told me she was pregnant finally starting to dissipate. I glance over at her to find her already watching me. There’s uncertainty in her deep blue gaze.

“Everything okay?”

I rotate my body to face her, not even bothering to start the car yet as I stare at her. “Yeah,” I say, my voice a little hoarse. Giving in to what I really want, I slide my hand around the side of her neck and lean forward, pulling her toward me until her lips meet mine in a kiss I’ve been dying for all day.

Her eyes remain closed when I pull back before slowly blinking open. “What was that for?”

“Because I wanted to.”

Those soft lips that are a little wet from our kiss tilt up in the slightest smile, and her eyes go soft. “Oh.”

My own smile lifts my cheeks. “Yeah, oh.” And because I can’t help myself, I kiss her one more time, not nearly as deep as I want to, but it’s enough to tide me over.

I get us on the road and then slide my hand over her thigh, needing to keep touching her.

She clears her throat, and I catch her trying to stifle her smile. “So where are you taking me for our date?”

I squeeze her thigh. “You mentioned a craving for ice cream, so I thought we’d go to one of my favorite places on the boardwalk. Then we can walk along the beach for a while. I figured low-key.”

She’d also mentioned loving the beach but never getting enough time to spend there, so I wanted to make sure she got a beach night before the weather gets too cold.

I feel the weight of her gaze on me, so I glance over. Her eyes are bright and her smile soft. She’s the embodiment of content, even if she still looks a little shy, but any tension in her body has completely faded at hearing my plans. “That sounds perfect. I’ve also been craving tacos if you feel like getting some of those later.”

“I will never turn down tacos.”

The rest of the drive goes by in silence, the low hum of the radio playing in the background as we make our way to one of my favorite spots. It’s not as busy as I expected for a Friday night, and I’m grateful for that. But as we’re in line for ice cream, a little boy, probably nine or ten if I had to guess, looks behind him and his eyes widen in a way that tells me he knows exactly who I am. He tugs on his mom’s arm, and she glances down at him then back at me to see what she’s looking at.

“It’s Tyler Russell,” the kid says in a voice like he’s trying to whisper but forgot to turn down the volume.

I offer him a smile and then glance at Lexi to see how she’s handling this. Past girlfriends used to either preen like peacocks that they were with me or get pissy about having to share me with fans—even if that fan was a kid. But it shouldn’t surprise me that Lexi’s not paying me any attention. She’s smiling down at the kid like she thinks it’s cute the way he’s in awe of me standing right behind him.

Focusing back on the kid, I squat down so I’m more on his level. I’ve never liked towering over the kids when they come to meet and greets. “How’s it goin’?”

His face lights up and he stumbles over his words. “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I’m really meeting you. My brother’s gonna be so jealous.”

“What’s your name?”

“Preston. Can you sign my hat?”

“Sure thing.” I look up at the counter and ask the employee if she’s got a pen or Sharpie. She hands me one of each, and I use the Sharpie to sign my name and jersey number on his hat.

He stares at it in awe and then Lexi’s voice speaks from beside me. “Do you want a picture together?”

I glance up at her, and she’s looking at the kid’s mom. “I can take one if you want to be in it too.”

I’m not sure what the mom does or says because I can’t stop staring at Lexi. She’s effortless and unfazed. And there’s no way I’m going to survive if this woman leaves me. I don’t care if she ends up being a gold digger—although the evidence that she could be is completely nonexistent. In this moment, I let go of any remaining doubts as I soak her in and relish finally having a real partner who doesn’t see my public-facing job as a burden or a stepping stone for something better.

Lexi grabs the mom’s phone, and I stand up between the two of them for the picture, all of us smiling, and I know my smile in this picture will be bigger than any other fan photo I’ve ever taken because I’m smiling at the woman taking it.