Chapter 20

Posey

"And this is Father Carmichael," Bane says as I shake yet another hand. "He'll be the one marrying us."

I look up at the priest, taken aback by how good-looking he is. Father Carmichael stands tall, with chiseled features and piercing blue eyes that seem out of place in his clerical attire. His dark hair is neatly trimmed, and there"s a calm yet intense aura about him. He appears to be in his early thirties, far younger than I expected for someone leading the local church. His warm smile contrasts sharply with the tension of the situation, making me wonder about the path that led him to this role.

"Nice to meet you," I say to him.

"Likewise."

Bane says something witty, and then we're off to meet another couple. After a while, all the faces blur together as Bane parades me around the party. Like I'm some trophy on his arm.

Which I guess I kind of am.

I haven't seen Ledger in over thirty minutes, and a small part of me thinks he's left. Doesn't matter, because my eyes still search for him every chance I get.

When he kissed me in my room, I couldn't not kiss him back. There was no way I could deny him anything. Even giving me an orgasm.

It nearly makes me burst into a million tiny pieces thinking about what a mess I've made of my life.

Soon the party winds down, and Bane's left me alone to head off to bed while he goes and smokes cigars with those closest to him. I make my quick getaway, Ledger fresh on my mind.

I lock my door, and change into my night clothes. I gaze out the window, wishing Ledger were here with me. How am I supposed to marry Bane and lust after another man? It's sinful. It's completely insane, yet I can't stop myself from thinking about him.

I get ready for bed, and once I slide under the covers, I flip my pillow, fluffing it so I can try to sleep. There's a pink post-it note under there, and written on it is,

I know you don't love him.

He doesn't even have to sign his name for me to know who wrote this. I grab my phone from the nightstand and send him off a message.

I don't love him.

His response is immediate.

Then tell me why you're marrying him.

Tears fall, racing down my cheeks.

Because.

I deserve a real answer. I'm going insane. I can't eat. I can't think. I want to be with you. So, please tell me why.

I've done this to him. I've caused Ledger to go crazy, and it crushes me. It makes my heart nearly split in two, and I don't know what to do about it. I wish I could stop this wedding. I wish I could call it off, but I can't.

Even if I had the money to pay off my father's debt, it would be no use. Bane no longer cares about the money. He cares about his reputation. How he's viewed in the public eye, and if his fiancée were to call off the wedding, it wouldn't look too good.

There's no way out. In a few days time, I'll be Mrs. Bane Delgado, and I will give the one man who scares the living shit out of me the one thing I can—my virginity.

I tap at my screen, answering Ledger, knowing what I need to do.

I'm marrying Bane. What we have isn't real. Now please, don't ever call me again.

And then I shut off my phone, and bury my face into my pillow and cry myself to sleep. The next morning I wake up to sunlight streaming in through the windows. I open my eyes, trying my best to push away the sadness I still feel.

As I get ready for the day, there"s constant chatter coming from downstairs. I hurry down the staircase to find Bridgette along with a few other people I've never seen before.

"You're finally awake," Bridgette says, and I stifle a yawn.

"What are you doing?" I ask her.

Bridgette looks at me like I've grown another head. "Your wedding is in a few days. There's a lot to do." She snaps her fingers at one of the women at her side. "Fawna, get a list of vendors."

"You need to find your dress," a short, bald-haired man says to me. "I'm Eduardo, and I'm here to help you."

"I thought I had picked a dress," I say to Bridgette as Eduardo pulls out a tape measure.

"Bane didn't approve of it. He wants you in something more…" her words fall away as she just gawks at me like I could never wear anything worthy enough for Bane.

"I'm on it," Eduardo cuts her off, and then grabs my hand to lead me down the hallway and toward the den.

Once we're both inside, Eduardo taps at his phone. "Simone is bringing some dresses for you to try on." Eduardo just stares at me, like I'm missing something.

"Thank you," I tell him, yet he still stares.

Until finally he says, "Get undressed."

There's a knock at the door, and Eduardo ushers a woman, who must be Simone, into the room with a rolling clothing rack full of white wedding dresses.

"Bane approved of all of these," she says as Eduardo shuts the door.

He returns his attention back to me. "You're not undressed yet."

I fling my shirt off as Eduardo and Simone create a frenzy around me, and for the next forty-five minutes, I'm propelled into the world of trying on dress after dress, until we find one that ‘sort of' works. Their words, not mine.

As I gaze into the mirror, a stranger meets my eyes. The woman reflected back at me bears little resemblance to the person I once knew. Her eyes lack their usual sparkle, dulled by an indiscernible weight that seems to burden her spirit. And there she stands, dressed in a wedding dress that feels foreign against her skin, a garment I would never have chosen for myself. It"s as if I"m observing someone else"s life.

A solitary tear cascades down my cheek, betraying the storm of emotions within me. "It"s beautiful, isn"t it?" Eduardo"s words, mistaking my tear for one of joy, linger in the air, adding to the complexity of the moment.

I nod repeatedly, the weight of unspoken words pressing down on me. Simone and Eduardo hover around, adjusting the dress to fit my form, but I remain a silent observer, a mere shadow of my former self. In this moment, a single thought of Ledger blossoms into an overwhelming sea of memories, flooding my mind with his presence.

How will I ever go through with this wedding?

As more tears well in my eyes, I try my best to keep them from falling. Last night with Ledger was more than anything I've ever experienced in my life. It was real.

The need to text him burns through my body, making my fingers tingle with desire to grab my phone and type out some words to him. Words of longing. Words of comfort.

He's hurting, and it nearly breaks me in two thinking about him.

I need to see him. I need to find a way to explain why I'm marrying Bane. I have to tell him the truth. I don't want him to think that I don't feel the same way.

I can't bear to have him hurt because of me.

Another twenty minutes goes by as Simone and Eduardo pin the dress, and make markings about how they're going to alter the dress to fit. I try to remain as still as possible so the process will take less time, but it still feels like I'm living my life in slow motion.

As soon as we're finished, I dress back in my jeans and pink button-down blouse and head back to my room. I snatch my phone from my dresser, needing to feel closer to Ledger.

My fingers type out a million different messages, but I can't send any of them. There's no way I can make this better for him, and I know if we meet up I'll only end up letting him touch me in some way.

I'll only end up letting him have me in every way a man can truly have a woman. I can't risk that.

So, instead I shut off my phone and head back downstairs to help Bridgette plan my wedding.

My nerves are shot a few days later. I'm not even sure I can function by pouring myself a glass of water at this point.

"Are you okay?" my father asks me as we sit in the study of Bane's mansion.

I nod. "Sure," I peep out.

In the expansive outdoor garden of Bane"s estate, a grand assembly of more than three-hundred guests fills the space. White chairs, arranged meticulously in rows, provide seating for the awaiting attendees. The transformation of the garden into a wedding venue is nothing short of breathtaking. Every corner is enhanced with fresh flowers, their vibrant colors adding a touch of elegance and romance to the setting. It's nothing short of magical, only I don't feel any of that magic here today.

Instead I see this wedding for what it truly is.

A business transaction.

A deal.

I turn my phone back on and am inundated by all the messages on my phone. Forty-two to be exact. All from Ledger. All saying the same thing, Don't do it.

I breathe in a shaky breath, willing my body to calm down, but it's no use. Last night I cried myself to sleep. I stare at myself once more in the mirror. I can't do this.

Oh my god.

I can not do this.

I'm in a full-blown panic attack as I try to calm myself by breathing heavily. I can't do this.

My father's eyes meet mine. I shake my head, and it's like we're having this private conversation in our minds.

"I'll stand by you whatever you want to do," he says, and tears fill my eyes.

"They'll kill you," I say, wrapping my arms around him.

"I just want you to be happy."

There's a knock at the door, and I shakily twist the knob.

"Father," I say to Father Carmichael as he stands outside the study door.

"May I come in?"

I step aside and allow him in, wondering if he's just here to check on me before the wedding. My nerves are shot, and a small tear traces down my cheek.

"You don't look well at all," Father Carmichael says.

"I don't feel too well. I can't do this," I say, feeling a sense of relief at finally voicing the words to someone other than my own father.

Father Carmichael's blue eyes meet mine, and there's a kindness showing deep within. "I never did think this marriage was anything more than a bribe."

I take a seat on a nearby chair and twist my fingers in my lap. "He'll kill us if I don't go through with it." I don't know what makes me feel like I can open up to this man, but I do.

"What can we do?" my father asks.

"For starters, I want you to leave this house, and get to my church on tenth. Ask for Collin, and tell him I sent you. Tell him you need the Sanctum Deal."

My father's nodding along with Father Carmichael as they plan for my father's escape. "Thank you, Father. You'll take care of my girl?"

Father Carmichael nods. "I'll take care of you both. Now go," he urges. "Before anyone sees you."

Once my father has left the room, Father Carmichael sets his eyes on me. "Now we need to get you out of here."

"I'm scared."

"God's watching over you."

I don't know if his words make me feel any better, but I listen to exactly what Father Carmichael tells me to get me out of Bane's mansion unseen. The priest tells me he'll stall for as long as he can before Bane figures out I'm not where I'm supposed to be.

"I appreciate this," I tell him as I leave the room.

I step outside the door, looking both ways before stepping out into the hallway. It's empty, and I breathe a sigh of relief, hoping I can make it out of here unseen.

I keep traveling, walking past Bane's office. The door is slightly ajar, and I can hear voices.

"You fools. I nearly served her up on a platter, and yet your men couldn't finish the job," Bane's voice says in a hushed whisper.

"We're getting tired of your excuses, Bane. We've fronted you for too long. We expect to get paid," a deep voice says that I don't recognize.

"And you will get paid. Do you know how much a virgin can get you these days?"

There's a long pause, and a chill rushes over me knowing I'm the virgin in question.

"Yes, you keep mentioning the virgin to take for payment, but she won't come close to paying off the amount you owe us. It's time the world knows you for what you truly are, Bane, a broke criminal."

I tiptoe closer, trying my best to hear better. Bane plans on selling me to someone?

"Making witnesses disappear costs money," Bane says, and I can tell by the way he's speaking that he's moving around the room. "Just wait until Posey and I say our I-dos, so once you take her I can make money from the insurance I have on her. You'll be paid back in full. Plus, I've framed the Russians to take the fall for it all."

The other man laughs. "That was good, I must say, but I'm getting tired of waiting."

Another long pause, and I wish I could hear everything. I nearly trip on the long lace of my wedding dress, but I keep it together as I remove my white high-heels from my feet so I don't click against the tiled floors.

"A few hours. And then you can take her father too."

"What do I want with him?" the other man sneers.

"Who cares," Bane says with a sinister laugh and I nearly lose my breakfast. My insides coil as I stand here, listening right outside his door.

"Fine. You marry the girl, but she better be a virgin when you deliver her to me."

"She will be," Bane says, and I grow sick hearing what he has in store for me.

I peek closer, trying my best to see who he's talking to. I duck into a side closet as they both finish their meeting and head out of the office.

And that's when I see him.

Mayor Thornberg.

I hold my breath as the two of them make their way outside. I rush in the opposite direction, slipping into the servant's entrance Father Carmichael mentioned. Nobody's around, and I thank my lucky stars.

I sneak a peek out the window, at the servant's entrance, looking for the taxi Father Carmichael said would be waiting for me.

It's there, and I breathe in a sigh of relief, letting it out slowly. I head outside, ducking behind a few bushes lining the walkway, and slip into the backseat of the taxi.

"Downtown," I say, knowing there's only one place I want to be.

Ledger's.

I need to get rid of my virginity.

And fast.